Depressed from binge restrict cycle.

Brandontz
Brandontz Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
im a 20 year old male who used to be 230 pounds a few years back but i managed to lose a whole bunch of weight till i hit 155 pounds. a few months back i started the insanity programme and went on this crazy restricted diet where i would allow myself only one cheat meal a week while eating super squeaky clean the WHOLE week. progress was great and my abs were starting to pop well. halfway through the programme i started binge eating. and by that i mean crazy amounts. like 10000 k cals in a day. eating to the point where i couldnt breathe and i couldnt even lie down to get to sleep cos i was so full. i also drank crazy amounts of water in an effort to prevent bloating the next day from all the sodium and carbs so each of these binge nights was extremely uncomfortable. its been getting worse and worse and my self esteem has been hitting an all time low. i keep telling myself that i wont do it again. but it keeps happening. my friends dont take me seriously because they say im still in good shape but i can see that my abs are covered in a layer of flab and my whole body is getting really flabby. my parents dont take me seriously also because they never see me when im in the midst of my binges. also, after each binge i do, or rather i try to tell myself to do a few days of low carb to burn off all the water weight. it usually only happens for 2-3 days and i start to see a bit of improvement. then, i binge again. i feel like i cant stop and i need urgent help and i dont know where to turn to. please help.

Replies

  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    I think you need to talk to a psychiatrist. If you don't know where to find one, start by going to your regular medical doctor and ask for a referral.
  • drop_it_like_a_squat
    drop_it_like_a_squat Posts: 377 Member
    Don't eat crazy low calories. Hit your macro targets. Get enough fiber & micros. And build foods into your daily allowance that you enjoy. If you know that restricting yourself causes you to binge, quit it. There is no need to eat a 100% "clean" diet (however you may define that).
  • Brandontz
    Brandontz Posts: 9 Member
    Sigh. My clean diet consisted of low glycaemic carbs and low fat with high protein. P/c/F was like 60 20 20. Sigh see where that's got me now though...
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    You are forcing a diet upon yourself. I used to eat 6,500+ calories on a daily bases and often would go on a "clean" foods diet. I have since learned what foods I cannot live without. I need some amount of junk food daily and I don't refuse eating out etc. As long as I stay in the calorie range, I consider it a win day.

    If you're having problems staying under deficit, start by changing your MFP Goal settings to "maintenance". This way you're on a calorie that will neither make you lose weight nor gain. Go on that for a couple of weeks till your body get used to that amount. Then slowly lower calories.

    Also, anytime I go over my calories, I try to workout to reduce the difference I created. Try it. It also motivates you to stay on path.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    I am no therapist so you would benefit from finding one that can help you. Did you try to relax your eating? Eating TDEE without sweating the macro, including treats? Or is it too hard?
  • taiyola
    taiyola Posts: 964 Member
    This was me at the end of my eating disorder.

    1) Speak to a medical professional
    2) If you can, sort out your diet. Set yourself more realistic goals, rather than any crazy 'diet'.
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
    I am a binge eater also. I am a very black and white person and find that if I don't start, I am ok. But if I eat a little of this it turns into a 2-3 hour eat-fest. I have felt so sick that I lie on the floor in pain. Then I feel like crap for two days. I do this more if I have a glass or two (or the entire bottle) of wine. Then I really eat. I think I am trying to fill some void of loneliness or boredom with food. I have been binge free for about one month and it feels great. It is always looming in the background and I hope to keep it away.

    I find that I need to weigh every day as it keeps me from shoving things into my mouth as I have to face the scale in the morning. I know this is controversial as you have to be able to see a 1-3 lb increase even when on plan. I log food and exercise in MFP and read these posts every morning to get motivated for the day.

    I had lost and maintained for 9 months and then went off the disciplined plan in May. Now I find 8 extra lbs and am not happy. I have been alcohol free for 7 days and am doing great.

    WE can do this.
  • Brandontz
    Brandontz Posts: 9 Member
    Before I started suffering from. This binging I had an unhealthy relationship with my weighing scale sometimes weighing myself up to 20 tines a day. Sometimes even weighing myself after a glass of water. I don't weigh myself nowadays because I keep telling myself that I'll work the binge off till my abs are solid again before weighing myself but I always end up binging before I get to 'work off' the previous binge. I appreciate the support. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get back on track.
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
    You have to find what works for you. Make TODAY your best friend and kick tomorrow to the curb!!!
  • tyleeloo30
    tyleeloo30 Posts: 67
    10,000 calories? is that even possible? lol
  • Brandontz
    Brandontz Posts: 9 Member
    Unfortunately it's kinda easy.
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
    I've done at least 5000 calls, maybe more.
  • Brandontz
    Brandontz Posts: 9 Member
    When it first started two months back it didn't seem like a problem cos I thought I could bounce back from it. I'd be bloated for a day or two but after that I was back In good shape. Been getting more and more off track from my good shape now though... Just got my wisdom tooth done a few hours back tomorrows gonna be a rest in bed day
  • no2thdk
    no2thdk Posts: 22
    I am not a profesisonal (but work in the medical field) and I'm not trying to hurt your feelings but since you posted I decided to respond. Unfortunantely is sounds like you have a type of eating disorder. I agree with everyone else that you should go to your regular medical doctor and tell him/her what is going on. They can point you in the right direction as far as what you need to do to get help. More than likely there is an underlying reason as why you have these type of actions. Just talking to a third party that is there to listen and not to cast judgement will really help. I'm speaking from experience. Good Luck with everything!
  • MissMurderx
    MissMurderx Posts: 3
    This is how my bulimia started when I was little. Stop it while you can because if you keep it up it will ultimately result in an eating disorder. If you can, seek professional help. If you can't, put yourself in a state of mind where you're in control. When you feel a binge come on, try to stop and think about it. Do your best to take your time. When you're about to eat, look at your food and ask yourself, "do I really need this?". The answer is, you don't. If you're hungry, eat until your satisfied, and really pay attention to what your body is telling you. I began the same destructive style in fifth grade, and I've missed out on half of my life because of it. In the end that cycle just causes you to gain weight. You've been so strong in order to lose that weight, find that strength again.
  • tyleeloo30
    tyleeloo30 Posts: 67
    The most I can eat at one time might be 2000 calories lol. Its crazy to think its possible to eat 10 000! What is your calorie goal usually when you have a good day? And do you binge because you're hungry, or just because you seek comfort/the taste/pleasure (fill in the blank)?
  • bfitgirl
    bfitgirl Posts: 138 Member
    Hi there, can I recommend a book called Brain over Binge, which deals with binging and how basically your brain is reacting to food shortage, it's a good read before you think about going for professional help whether psychological or nutritional.
  • Brandontz
    Brandontz Posts: 9 Member
    Prior to my binges when I was on my cut I'd consume 1.8k a day while on insanity programme. It really is a vicious cycle, this whole problem. Thanks for all the advice and support I'll definitely check the book out.
  • april1445
    april1445 Posts: 334
    This is classic binge eating behaviour. 10,000 calories is a thing when you're a binge eater. You probably need professional help. There's more help for meth addicts than there is for food addicts in my neck of the woods. It probably started from restricting yourself too much, but how it started is part of what you need to work out with a professional. I wish you good luck. Overeaters anonymous is free. It's hard to find people who know anything about this issue.
  • bfitgirl
    bfitgirl Posts: 138 Member
    Yes, it helped me to rethink how I deal mentally with food, I've been a yoyo dieter most of my life, when I started at my gym 4 years ago i went from 23.5% to 15.5% body fat in 12 weeks, but couldn't maintain the bf as my body reset itself (I believe) to eating that low, no one at gym told me about reintroduction of food back into the diet (following low carb) and My cheat meal turned into cheat night/day/weekend, gained back till I stopped around 18% mark, but still got rapped on so tried to be More Strict, and back on to never ending restrictive diet then binge on the weekend, cut'n'paste for the next 3 years!!!!!

    The book won't give you a meal plan to follow but more like a Homer Simpson realisation "D'Oh of course my brain would think this is a serious assault and stress out! low cal and lots of exercise I must find and eat as soon as I can and the more the better so I can store it incase this nutter tries to starve me again!"

    My goal is to eat as much as I can and maintain or lose depending on clothes fitting me and not the scale weight! The best of luck, you can get out of this cycle I'm sure :)

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