Whiny Post #1

tacey21

I just needed a place to vent.
I feel like I'm getting fatter and stupider daily. I feel hopeless. I feel like there arent enough hours in a day to do what I feel like I need to do to be happy. Sleep, work, cook, read, socialize, exercise, be alone. I'm having a hard time eating right. I used to be the diet queen. Its like I've forgotten how to do it. I've forgotten how to want it. I never really learned how to keep doing it. I dont know how to motivate myself without self loathing. I cant tell people that i hate myself because "You're fine. You're beautiful. You're funny. You're great." I'm not.

I want to run a marathon.
I say this in the way that many people say they want to be doctors or astronauts. Most people dont actually want to be doctors. But I want to want to run a marathon. I want to want to be one of those crazy exercise people who gets up at 6am and runs 5 miles. I want to want to be one of those girls at my work who have gym memberships and go and work out and subscribe to Glutes magazine.

I want to be a good cook. But I want to cook healthy stuff. Healthy stuff that I want to eat. I dont want to be in love with cheese anymore. I also think I want to stop drinking "recreationally".

I want to read more. Because I read books or magazines at work on lunch they say, "You sure read a lot." I really dont. I read an hour a day on my lunch break. I want to read books that will help me be a better person or a more interesting person. I want to understand every word that I'm reading. I also want to have a better vocabulary.

I want to go out with my babycakes and do something NOT food or booze related. I want him to understand that I am a lady and have a lady's metabolism and do not need to eat out 3 times a week. I dont need ice cream all the time. I love him and I love that he brings me my favorite pastries from his work... but I wish he'd stop trying to smother me with food like my parents. Every time I try to bring this up he tells me to stop and gazes deep into my eyes and tells me how beautiful I am. Which. Cool. If I'm beautiful in his eyes, whatever. But that doesnt help me if I feel like a cow all the time.

[End Rant]

I just needed to get that out of my system.

ChristieisReady

Don't know if you wanted a reply, but.....

1) Try the couch to 5k. I haven't done it, but a lot of people seem very excited about it, and it's a good first step toward a marathon.

2) http://www.eatingwell.com
-- Great recipes. Tasty and healthy.

3) Read in bed, that's what I do. I get in about 18-30 books a year that way.
3b) Listen to other people. It's corny, but interested people are interesting.

4) Boys don't *get* not eating out in my experience. If you want to do something non food/drink related, you have to plan it. Hikes are good. Museums are good. Hour-long treks into the book store with no real aim in buying anything are good. Trips to an arcade can be fun every once in a while (just avoid any concession stands).

5) The pastries-- that's a tricky one. I suggest you just start eating less of them. He loves you. He's showing you with things he makes that he's thinking of you. Lucky girl.

MaryTheIceCube

I totally identify with the "not enough hours in the day" kinda thing. There are so many things I wish to accomplish in any given day and never, ever enough time. At times, I've found myself just giving up and not doing much of anything on some days because I just don't know where to begin, or since I know I'm not going to accomplish everything anyway, so why try? I have a six year old little boy on top of this, who I love dearly, so that's another whole set of responsibilities!

I think, though, if we were to take things one day at a time, do what we're capable of doing each day, and try our very best to be happy with that, we may be more apt to be happier with ourselves (self-confidence is a HUGE plus in getting things accomplished!) and happier with life. So we didn't get to do absolutely everything we wanted to do.. did we put our all into everything we WERE able to accomplish? I think perhaps this might be a better mindset for us...

I'm working toward running a marathon, starting out small. Accomplished the Couch to 5K app, and ready to start Bridge to 10K tomorrow. My first ever run is next month (4 miles) and race in October (5K). This is HUGE for me. I'm nervous!

Best wishes on all your goals! At least you are ambitious; one thing a lot of people don't have going for them. I admire your aspirations!

Feel free to friend request me if you wish, and if you're on Facebook, please feel free to check out the group I created over there, called Motivation. Many positive, encouraging people over that way, too! http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=268180696780&ref=ts

Best wishes on your fitness journey!

~ Chandra

Jena_72

Gurl I hear you!! Stay on this site and ask questions! As long as you log in what you eat you will start to learn from it. You will eat something one day and it will throw all your numbers off and there now , you'll know! It takes time.
I have a husband that can eat whatever he wants also, and it sucks I feel you on that. And they can't see the harm in just one doughnut! Just keep your eye on the prize and say no thanks!
Your I don't want to be in love with cheese anymore line had me dying!! I was on here the other day studying what kind of cheese would be better to by. I think I can up with low fat swiss being the best option but the research will continue!! LOL
Hang in there!!

islandnutshel

What I hear is a perfectionist. You will find a way to do this, I know you will. Tackle one problem at a time and the solution doesnt have to be perfect to be successful. When you pull out all of the things that are bothering you and put them in a pile, you get overwhelmed. Overwhelmed means procrastination or avoidence of the problems. Work on one thing that you know will make a difference. Maybe tackle it from different angles, till you find something that works.
For instance the lovely person bringing you food. Food is love to so many people, it may not be an attempt to sabatage your efforts. My husband did this. I told him how important it was for me to lose weight and be healthy. I thanked him for his love and asked him to help me keep motivated by doing specific things. (I asked that we keep the house a temptation free zone, I asked him to eat healthier around me, I bought him a pedometer and we compete for steps. We have fun going for walks instead of to restaurants. When traveling instead of fast food, we stop at a good deli to pick out healthy options. I continualy thank him for his help and let him share the credit for my weight loss, now he is proud of it instead of threatened)
Please don't get overwhelmed, I wasted too much time procrastinating, I have lots still to lose but I am enjoying the journey, because any progress lets me know it's possible and I feel like I will get there eventualy. You will to. ONE thing at a time.