Where do I start? Mom 24/7. What about me?
mamajess242
Posts: 11 Member
Exhausted mom, low energy, no self esteem - where do I start?
I am so tired. Mom to a four year old and five month old baby. Breastfeeding. Needed all the time.
I am constantly eating junk. Coming from a family history of diabetes I know this is killing me. And setting a poor example for my kids.
Where do I start? How do I break the cycle?
Please help. Every morning I try again...and fail. I am tired of failing.
I am so tired. Mom to a four year old and five month old baby. Breastfeeding. Needed all the time.
I am constantly eating junk. Coming from a family history of diabetes I know this is killing me. And setting a poor example for my kids.
Where do I start? How do I break the cycle?
Please help. Every morning I try again...and fail. I am tired of failing.
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Replies
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You have to be strong and do it for yourself. Think about your kids and how you want to be around for them for many years to come. Start small... logging your food for a week, taking small walks, etc. You have to want it from within. :flowerforyou:0
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Think how much better you will feel and increased energy if you eat better and decrease the junk food. Exercise also helps with energy. Take the kids for a walk.0
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You seem to have your hands full at the moment. Breast feeding takes it out of you, well it did me. I remember not even being able to close the bathroom door when I was on my own, I was probably being over the top careful of mine. Then in the evening sinking myself into a deep bath, bliss.
Wanting to be about for your children is a very good place to start. I agree with making small changes too, to start with. I have no idea if it might help you to think about "improving" your own milk so you are not giving your baby too much salt or sugar for instance. I know our bodies are usually good at getting the general balance of nutrients to the baby but less salt and sugar may be the way to go.
All the very best and congratulations for making this start. There will be plenty of currently nursing mothers on this site to support you.0 -
You can do it, start with small changes and keep things realistic for yourself. Maybe just start with logging what you are eating, that will help you to recognize what everything is costing you in calories. Then start subbing in some lower calorie options where you can, and increasing water intake. If you are ever blessed with both of the kids napping at the same time, try out a Leslie Sansone video on You Tube. They are nice quick walks and you can pick a mile or more to do.
Set some smaller and attainable goals, so you will remain motivated. Best of luck.0 -
You have to be strong and do it for yourself. Think about your kids and how you want to be around for them for many years to come. Start small... logging your food for a week, taking small walks, etc. You have to want it from within. :flowerforyou:
^^ This. Little steps everyday.0 -
I agree, start small. If you make the commitment every morning, start by having a healthy breakfast. Once that is habit, add a walk to your day, or improve your lunch choices. Replace chips with a piece of fruit. Just choose 1 item to change today, and don't add another change until you are comfortable with the first one. Maybe a couple of days, maybe a week. You can write a list of changes you want to make; for example:
eat healthy breakfast (decide what that means to you, for me it is one egg with some salsa and a cup of coffee)
take a 10 - 15 minute walk
eat a fulfilling lunch (again, decide what that means for you)
replace a snack (i.e. chips or cookie) with something else (apple, nuts, carrots).
It is very hard making a wholesale change, but if you make small, incremental changes, you might find it easier to keep to them.
Hang in there!0 -
I understand. I have three boys, ages 6,4 and 3 - which means that not too long ago I had three boys ages 3 months, 19 months and 3 1/2 years. You're right - it's exhausting and I felt defeated a lot of the time. Honestly, when I was in your shoes, it was just about survival. Make it through the day. Get to bedtime with kids who smiled, were fed, clothed (or not...depending on the day) and who knew that I loved them - even if that meant sacrificing myself for a while. Im about 2 years past where you are now, and it's finally doable. I can finally take the time for myself. I think that there are a few things that you could do immediately that might help though...
1. Remember that when you are nursing, your baby needs good quality milk. She/he doesn't need cheeto milk. Get the junk food out of the house. Don't buy anymore. That takes care of that. Replace your junk with easy fix items - cheese sticks, yogurt, popcorn, apples, nuts, boxes of cereal (shredded mini wheats, plain cheerios, etc). No chips, no crackers, no cookies, no snack cakes. I buy stick cheese or my kids and block cheese for myself. As soon as I open the block of cheese, I cut it into 1 oz chunks and put them in a ziplock. That way, when I want t quick grab snack later, I can grab one ounce instead of eating a lot more.
2. Go for a walk while the baby naps. I know it's crazy - but just walk up and down your stairs 20 times, or around your house for 20 laps, or do 100 sit ups. You can still get in a little exercise without leaving your baby unattended.
Just take small steps. Just survive this time. It will pass, and you'll find a lot more energy will come soon. Once those babies are all sleeping well through the night, you'll feel better too.
Hang in there mama - you'll make it!0 -
if you are in a deficit you will lose weight, whether its 'junk' or not... alternatively, dont have it in the house, then you cant eat it.0
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Ah the beauty of being a mom! No one told me you never get a break lol I suggest start small with what you are eating. Try logging everything. I know when I started logging again it put what I ate in perspective and helped me see where I should start with my changes. After you get your eating to where you want it add a little exercise. The slower you make the changes the easier it will be for you. You won't get over whelmed.0
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I understand. I have three boys, ages 6,4 and 3 - which means that not too long ago I had three boys ages 3 months, 19 months and 3 1/2 years. You're right - it's exhausting and I felt defeated a lot of the time. Honestly, when I was in your shoes, it was just about survival. Make it through the day. Get to bedtime with kids who smiled, were fed, clothed (or not...depending on the day) and who knew that I loved them - even if that meant sacrificing myself for a while. Im about 2 years past where you are now, and it's finally doable. I can finally take the time for myself. I think that there are a few things that you could do immediately that might help though...
1. Remember that when you are nursing, your baby needs good quality milk. She/he doesn't need cheeto milk. Get the junk food out of the house. Don't buy anymore. That takes care of that. Replace your junk with easy fix items - cheese sticks, yogurt, popcorn, apples, nuts, boxes of cereal (shredded mini wheats, plain cheerios, etc). No chips, no crackers, no cookies, no snack cakes. I buy stick cheese or my kids and block cheese for myself. As soon as I open the block of cheese, I cut it into 1 oz chunks and put them in a ziplock. That way, when I want t quick grab snack later, I can grab one ounce instead of eating a lot more.
2. Go for a walk while the baby naps. I know it's crazy - but just walk up and down your stairs 20 times, or around your house for 20 laps, or do 100 sit ups. You can still get in a little exercise without leaving your baby unattended.
Just take small steps. Just survive this time. It will pass, and you'll find a lot more energy will come soon. Once those babies are all sleeping well through the night, you'll feel better too.
Hang in there mama - you'll make it!
You have certainly been here before! Survival it is, but I do want more...now. I think everyone has given great advice. "small changes" will be my mantra. This time with my babies is so precious but I am an ugly person when I don't look after myself...and I mean on the inside.
Thank you.
Great idea about the zip lock portions. Will take that on board.
Small changes.0 -
I understand. I have three boys, ages 6,4 and 3 - which means that not too long ago I had three boys ages 3 months, 19 months and 3 1/2 years. You're right - it's exhausting and I felt defeated a lot of the time. Honestly, when I was in your shoes, it was just about survival. Make it through the day. Get to bedtime with kids who smiled, were fed, clothed (or not...depending on the day) and who knew that I loved them - even if that meant sacrificing myself for a while. Im about 2 years past where you are now, and it's finally doable. I can finally take the time for myself. I think that there are a few things that you could do immediately that might help though...
1. Remember that when you are nursing, your baby needs good quality milk. She/he doesn't need cheeto milk. Get the junk food out of the house. Don't buy anymore. That takes care of that. Replace your junk with easy fix items - cheese sticks, yogurt, popcorn, apples, nuts, boxes of cereal (shredded mini wheats, plain cheerios, etc). No chips, no crackers, no cookies, no snack cakes. I buy stick cheese or my kids and block cheese for myself. As soon as I open the block of cheese, I cut it into 1 oz chunks and put them in a ziplock. That way, when I want t quick grab snack later, I can grab one ounce instead of eating a lot more.
2. Go for a walk while the baby naps. I know it's crazy - but just walk up and down your stairs 20 times, or around your house for 20 laps, or do 100 sit ups. You can still get in a little exercise without leaving your baby unattended.
Just take small steps. Just survive this time. It will pass, and you'll find a lot more energy will come soon. Once those babies are all sleeping well through the night, you'll feel better too.
Hang in there mama - you'll make it!
You have certainly been here before! Survival it is, but I do want more...now. I think everyone has given great advice. "small changes" will be my mantra. This time with my babies is so precious but I am an ugly person when I don't look after myself...and I mean on the inside.
Thank you.
Great idea about the zip lock portions. Will take that on board.
Small changes.
That's the spirit! You also HAVE to take time for yourself... I have 5 kids from age 4-14 and I am a strong advocate for "Mommy only time"... A happy mommy is a happy family. :bigsmile:0 -
It is totally doable. Small steps when it comes to food is key. I think I cut sugar back first and then gradually started adopting healthier eating and exercise. Exercise with your kids to start out I used to dance with mine holding them one at a time in my arms while dancing and switching every song to a different kid for as long as I could handle it. I gave birth to 4 kids in less than 2 years and know all about feeling overwhelmed. Even now when they aren't so little anymore I sometimes feel overwhelmed.0
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baby steps :bigsmile:
but really, take it one step at a time.
the junk food and nursing - not a good idea. you want to be eating healthy so that you and your baby will be getting good nutrients. so start there. is there a husband? put him in charge of making you breakfast. reach out fo help. every single time you sit down to nurse, grab a bottle of water and sip it while you're nursing.
can you buy groceries online? then do that for a while. at least one thing to knock off your list.
when you or husband cook - cook double/triple portions and freeze in individual portions.
go for easy and nutricious - eggs, toast with healthy PB&J, burritos with beans and cheese, chicken, etc.
get fresh fruit and have that as a snack, your children will learn this habit from you.
one step at a time - you go tthis!0 -
4 kids here, 5, 9, 12 & 16 so it's a little easier. I can recruit the 16 yr old to babysit & go for walks if the hubby isn't home. Start small, if you don't have the time or the ability to have some "me" time to exercise then concentrate on your calories right now. I started using the site again 4 months ago. All I've done is count calories & walk a couple times a week if I can work it in. It's doable. Just don't jump in so fast & deep that you're overwhelmed! Good luck to you!! :flowerforyou:0
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Getting started is the hardest part. After a few days of making just one small change, you will start to feel different - more confident, more in control, more energy, maybe sleeping a bit better. And you will want to continue to feel that way. Get through one day of making one small change and build on that.
You can do it! Don't give up on yourself!0 -
3 kids here. 17. 7. 6. 2 have medical issues. Full time job. Full time mom. No help from kids dad.
I know how you feel!!
But you need to do this to be a better mom for your kids. Just start with something small and achievable, Than add something else. You can do this.
Sending friend request. Here for support and to be supportive
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I think it helps to remind yourself that it's not a failure if you eat that bag of chips or bowl of ice cream or whatever your vice is.
We view "failure" as such a harsh word. It makes us give up. But like with everything else in life, losing weight/being healthier isn't a smooth road. There are bumps and hills and even mountains that we have to get over. And sometimes we fall down along the way.
Just remind yourself that, yeah, you fell down... you ate something you shouldn't have... but that's not an excuse to give up. It's a reason to forgive yourself and move on. You ate it. So what? You can't change that. So forgive yourself and do better next time.
That's really all we can ask of ourselves and everyone else... that we do better next time. And joining MFP and asking for advice is you doing better for yourself. So kudos to you!0 -
I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. I am no longer nursing though. Do you have a local gym with a daycare? I take my kids almost everyday so that I can get a work out and get some alone time. I don't always want to work out but I do like having a little free time so that is motivation enough for me to go! Like you I don't always make the best food choices so I started with moving more. I have been concentrating on that then I will work on my food.
Is there any activity that you have wanted to try? For example, I play roller derby and take a tap class once a week. This is all in the evenings when my husband is home. It gives me some time to myself and I am moving while having fun. Think about something you might want to try. I know you are nursing but you should be able to get away for an hour.
Good luck and add me if you want!:happy:0 -
Oh and I meant to add, I am right there with you about being tired. My 8 month old still gets up multiple times a night and thinks 5:30 am is the right time to get up for the day! I make really bad food choices when I am tired and beat down! I just try to move! The better I feel about moving (exercising) the better I do with food. I am great yet but it is getting better!!!
We can do this!!0 -
You have to make good health every bit a priority as you do feeding and caring for the children. If you don't have your good health, you won't be able to care for them like you want to. Also, teaching them good habits from when they are young will help them as they grow as well.
Take the kids for a walk, put the baby in the stroller and take the older one with you and go to the park. Lifting the children is exercise, make it a game. Dance with the kids, that's exercise too. Exercise doesn't have to be 30 minutes on the treadmill and time at the gym away from the kids. You can incorporate both together.
Also, food...you control what you buy at the grocery store. Don't buy junk. Prepackaged food is easy but you can also make easy meals quickly. I threw chicken thighs, a can of black beans, a can of corn, a jar of salsa and some chicken broth in a crockpot, let it cook and served it over brown rice. I probably spend 10 minutes in prep for the meal. Google quick and easy meals. There are tons of websites and ideas out there for you, by moms in your same position.
This is all about choice and you have to choose to be healthy and find healthy options. Good luck, you can do it!0 -
Here is what I would recommend (I'm a stay at home mom who also works at home (consultant) to 2 boys)
1. Don't buy the junk! If it's not there you won't eat it.
2. All it takes is a 20 minute work out 4-5 times a week to get you jump started. There are a few ways you can work this into your day:
1. While the kids are napping youtube a cardio video, there are plenty out there
2. Take your kids for a walk.
3. Get up before they do and go for a walk/run if you want to do it without them.
I find that my work outs are really my only alone time and it has become extremely enjoyable.
For this to you work you really have to want it. It all starts with you and you making the right choices for you.
Good luck on your journey!0 -
Hey there! I have something that can help you. We can be accountability partners Will you add me as a friend?0
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You try and fail every day? I think a huge problem is your mindset. Don't be so hard on yourself!
Don't think of every day as a new day. Think of it as your healthier life. So you messed up a little bit at lunch? You don't need to go back to eating only junk because you messed up once. Start fresh right now. You can still have a nutritious, healthy dinner. You can still do an exercise video or take a walk. You can still have a bedtime snack. Don't mentally punish yourself for a single mistake, and don't have an "all or nothing" attitude.
Junk food isn't the enemy. Only eating junk food isn't great for you, but if you want a candy bar before bed, have one. Now, if all you eat is junk and you aren't feeling well, I agree with other posters who say just not to buy it. But I love candy and ice cream and chips, and if there's room for them in my calories, I'll eat them.0 -
I was in your shoes after my son was born 10 yrs ago and while I was not breastfeeding him, I was exhausted and tired all the time and my self-esteem was at an all time low - I lost the weight, took a lot of hard work and dedication with tons of support from the hubby but I did it!
Then wouldn't you know it? Got preggers with my daughter and I was so sick I couldn't get off the couch half the time, actually lost 12 lbs in my 1st trimester with her, couldn't continue exercising and what I could keep down wasn't healthy...eventually the sickness subsided but the crappy food choices continued. I was able to breastfeed her, but again the unhealthy choices continued; enrolled in grad school when she was 5 mos. old and yeah it's cyclical.
And here I am now 8+ years later - trying again.
Don't beat yourself up, take each fall down as a lesson and move on; each day is brand new and you can start anew!
I agree - take the unhealthy choices out of your house, don't buy them, don't eat them! My kids as strange as they are go bonkers in the produce section at the grocery store and less so in the cookie/cracker/chip aisles - we have to coax them to choose snacks for their school lunches. My daughter loves chips, but she goes nuts for Banana's and Oranges; my son is crazy for berries! It just takes self-training! I have been working extra hard to rid my home of halloween candy that is a temptation to me - unhealthy foods for me are those loaded w/sugar & carbs.
It's that mindset - you've taken the first steps! Your here and your willing, one step at a time - baby steps - you've gotten great advice here, just keep at it!0 -
Do you take vitamins?
I know some people don,t and are fine without them, but some us are tired and blah all the time when we forget to take our vitamins/supplements.
If you don't. You may want to find a high quality women's multi vitamin. Maybe have your iron checked. Maybe it will help you. (Maybe not, but it won,t hurt to give it a clue months trial)
Eat enough protein and get enough good fats.
Maybe try an over the counter natural sleep enhancer. Chamomile tea with learn milk, a lavender infused bath, (or lavender body lotion or pillow spray), melatonin or valerian root. They could help with getting deeper sleep, which will help you feel more rested.(again, doesn't work for everyone, but why not try something different just in case)
As far as your food choices. Those are your choices, you just have to change them. Maybe find reasons. Do you choose the lower quality foods out of convenience? Then maybe one day a week you can pre pack a weeks worth of healthy snacks. Make triple the amount of a good healthy dinner and portion and freeze the leftovers. Etc. Etc.
But, in all honesty, I felt like a zombie until my youngest kid was about 6.... LOL. Then again, I didn,t realize my iron was borderline low nor did I get enough water and vitamins and healthy food...or sleep.
I hope you find something that works for you!0 -
Hi momma. I have 3 little ones none in school yet i feel u. U gotta make time. Momma cant be best momma if shes not caring for herself.
Ur bfing all the more reason to eat healthy. Think of ur babysnutrition. Your baby eats.what.u eat. So eat well. First stop buying junk. Use a crockpot i just put some chicken potatos veggies with italian dressing and some herbs in mine. Dinner done! Look up crockpot recipes online.
When i get time in the day. I do a series of squats pushups and plank. Better to do some exercise on bursts than none at all. Focus on diet and resistance training.
Its ok to have a treat here or there but if ur buying mostly junk then that needs to change. You can do it.0
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