A cry for help!

ms_friendly

I am just now starting and I get married in February (I know, my fault). I just need to do this, not only for myself but for me and my future family. I want to be healthy when I want to have kids and be able to go out to eat and not feel ashamed of my body. I want to be able to make more friends instead of hiding in a corner and be able to go clothes shopping and be happy with how something looks on me. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not having to avoid it especially when I'm naked. I want to be able to have a better love life and not feel like my husband could do better. I just have NO self confidence. I want to lose around 150 but WANTED to lose 50-60 before my wedding. Is this possible with hard work? I honestly can't picture myself healthy so I think it will NEVER happen.


How many bottles of water should I drink a day? and is this possible before my wedding? (50-60lbs) Is there anyone willing to be my diet buddy? someone to help motivate me and I them. I need help on what to eat also. Just so overwhelmed, don't know where to begin!

Anita4life

That is quite a tall order. But stop for a minute and breath! You can make anything happen if you put your mind to it. First you need a plan! What changes can you easily make? Like do you drink soda? Give it up and replace it with water. Bam 5-10 pounds gone easily. As for how much water should you drink well try this article and it can help you calculate http://www.slenderkitchen.com/how-to-calculate-how-much-water-you-should-drink-a-day/

As for what to eat, that is up to you. You need to figure out how many calories you can have a day to reach your goal by February and then you eat to maintain that goal. At first it seems like you can eat whatever you want, but you will learn you will go hungry by the end of the day because things eat up your calories fast. I personally try to stay away from white flours, eat lots of vegetables and fruit, and lean proteins.

This goes back to the getting a Plan part of this. You need to plan everyday what you are going to eat ahead of time so you are put in situations where you don't know what to eat. That is when the bad things happen. I would love to help you along the way. Feel free to add me as a friend.

howardheilweil

Well, 50-60 pounds in 3/4 months is not really realistic or even healthy. With all due respect, your best bet is to set your sights on a healthy sustainable weight loss (1 - 1.5 lbs per week) and go with that. Setting a goal of X pounds by X date is typically a recipe for disaster. Good luck!

lynn_glenmont

Depending on whether your wedding is at the beginning or end of February, you're talking about a 3.3 to 5.5 pound a week average loss for a period of several months. That means eating between 1650 and 2750 calories below what you need for maintenance EVERY DAY. That's probably not a realistic goal, even with the amount of weight you have to lose (150 lbs total). It's also not a good idea to attempt that without medical supervision, and medical supervision doesn't mean getting a general practitioner or internist with little to no training in nutrition or healthy weight loss to see you once at the beginning of your journey to say, "yes, it would be good for you to lose some weight, " or even, "yes, it would be good for you to lose 50 [or 150] lbs."

You say you want to be healthy, so please try to make the first step on your weight loss journey a healthy one. Use the MFP calculator to figure out your daily calorie budget for a 2 lb a week loss, then plan a few days of meals at that budget (I'm not saying eat them, I'm saying log a few days ahead to see what that looks like). Then try cutting another 1000 calories from each day that you've logged (which should put you in the mid-range of that 1650--2750 deficit I mentioned above for your 50-60 lbs weight loss goal by February, although to be honest it still might not be enough if the initial goal that MFP gives you for 2 lbs a week is 1200, since that is the minimum that MFP will give you, even if it's not enough to lose 2 lbs a week).

Look at the food (if any) that is left. Can you honestly say you think that is a healthy way to eat for three to four months? How do you think you will feel eating that little for so long? I wouldn't count on being able to eat back exercise calories, because at that big a deficit, it's extremely unlikely you'll have the energy to do any meaningful exercise. If you find yourself saying that you think that you think you can eat that little for three to four months, show the log to some friends, family, and the medical/nutrition expert you're consulting before you start.

Now add the extra 1000 calories you cut from those pre-logged days. Doesn't that look more like something you could stick with through February and beyond, as you try to lose the rest of the weight? Two pounds a week should have you 22 to 30 pounds lighter by the wedding (depending on what part of February the wedding date is in), or maybe a tiny bit more as people often shed some water weight at the beginning of the process. It may not seem like a lot when you had a number twice that large in our head, but just think that it's one-sixth of the way to your ultimate goal. By your first anniversary, you could be more than two-thirds of way to your ultimate goal of losing 150 lb, even assuming that you reduce the deficit to lose at a slower pace as you get closer to goal weight.

TxButterfly47

You can be as successful as you choose to be. I wish you the very best and agree with Anita and all the other supporters writing to you. Bless You. It is important to just take a deep breath and focus on what you need to do to be healthier. Even if you happen to not quite make your goal by February, you can still have a brilliant smile because you have made a difference and things will only get better for you. Best wishes on your upcoming wedding and plans.

TheRunnerDad

Losing that much weight that fast would not be healthy. However, what I would suggest is focusing less on the weight loss and more on getting toned. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat, so as you workout and turn fat into muscle, your weight loss will be slow but you'll become more and more toned. I would focus on something more realistic, like maybe 20lbs, but with the goal of toning your body.

needtobefit42

Good afternoon,

I was reading your post and we have alot of similarities. I would be happy to help keep you motivated. I need all the extra support I can get. Feel free to add me. Best wishes on your wedding and future family.

DebbieLyn63

Since you have a total of 150 lbs to lose, a third of that amount (50) would be doable in 3-4 months. Many people on here have done that successfully. The weight loss rate slows down after the first 30-40%, so don't expect it to continue at that rate. But having a wedding is a good motivational goal to get the first chunk of weight off.
So I say, go for it!

MoniSunZ

40-50lb is a lot to loose in just a few months and very well could be a recipe for failure. It is critical to make changes you can stick with long term and eating at that much of a deficit would be extremely hard to stick with.

That said. If getting healthy is the goal then start focusing on that and not the number so much.
Work on making meal plans for each week or if that's too overwhelming each couple of days. Look at healthy food choices and see where you can cut calories, like it was said above, if you drink soda that's an easy 150-450 or more cal a day depending on how many you drink.
Food choices need to be healthy and nutritious, 1200-2000 calories a day I not a lot and you need to make them count as far as protiens, carbs and vitamins go so your body gets what it needs to help you a long the way.
Find and exercise that you enjoy (to some extent at least lol) and commit to doing that every day to get your heartrate up for at least 30min.

You will start to feel better and healthier before you know it and the weight will follow.
You absolutely can do this and get healthy for yourself and your future family, just make changes you can stick with and commit to it every day!

seltzermint555

Depending on whether your wedding is at the beginning or end of February, you're talking about a 3.3 to 5.5 pound a week average loss for a period of several months. That means eating between 1650 and 2750 calories below what you need for maintenance EVERY DAY. That's probably not a realistic goal, even with the amount of weight you have to lose (150 lbs total). It's also not a good idea to attempt that without medical supervision, and medical supervision doesn't mean getting a general practitioner or internist with little to no training in nutrition or healthy weight loss to see you once at the beginning of your journey to say, "yes, it would be good for you to lose some weight, " or even, "yes, it would be good for you to lose 50 [or 150] lbs."

You say you want to be healthy, so please try to make the first step on your weight loss journey a healthy one. Use the MFP calculator to figure out your daily calorie budget for a 2 lb a week loss, then plan a few days of meals at that budget (I'm not saying eat them, I'm saying log a few days ahead to see what that looks like). Then try cutting another 1000 calories from each day that you've logged (which should put you in the mid-range of that 1650--2750 deficit I mentioned above for your 50-60 lbs weight loss goal by February, although to be honest it still might not be enough if the initial goal that MFP gives you for 2 lbs a week is 1200, since that is the minimum that MFP will give you, even if it's not enough to lose 2 lbs a week).

Look at the food (if any) that is left. Can you honestly say you think that is a healthy way to eat for three to four months? How do you think you will feel eating that little for so long? I wouldn't count on being able to eat back exercise calories, because at that big a deficit, it's extremely unlikely you'll have the energy to do any meaningful exercise. If you find yourself saying that you think that you think you can eat that little for three to four months, show the log to some friends, family, and the medical/nutrition expert you're consulting before you start.

Now add the extra 1000 calories you cut from those pre-logged days. Doesn't that look more like something you could stick with through February and beyond, as you try to lose the rest of the weight? Two pounds a week should have you 22 to 30 pounds lighter by the wedding (depending on what part of February the wedding date is in), or maybe a tiny bit more as people often shed some water weight at the beginning of the process. It may not seem like a lot when you had a number twice that large in our head, but just think that it's one-sixth of the way to your ultimate goal. By your first anniversary, you could be more than two-thirds of way to your ultimate goal of losing 150 lb, even assuming that you reduce the deficit to lose at a slower pace as you get closer to goal weight.

excellent advice here!!

cookiebaby2010

Hi! I just started a week ago and am just starting to get a glimpse of what my daily food intake will be. Calories do add up quick, especially when you're trying to stick to 1200 calories per day. What I'm seeing is that if I stick to lots of veggies, lean fish and chicken, and maybe a little fruit, I can stay within my limit. So that 's what I'm doing this week. Last week was all over the place! But we learn as we go. I'm drinking an average of 48 oz. of water a day, and cut back on my coffee. I've found that water with lemon is not only satisfying, but also very cleansing. I work a desk job, so it's hard to get exercise during the day, so I'm doing some chair yoga and walking my dog at night for a little while. I do know that we can do whatever we set our minds to do and once we're committed, it's just a matter of time until we meet our goal. If you like, I'd be glad to be your friend and we could help each other. Believing with you for a successful weight loss journey!

lynn_glenmont

Just wanted to add: Please don't read the comments (mine included) that are recommending a lower goal for the wedding date as discouragements. We're rooting for you. We just don't want to see you set an unachievable, unhealthy goal that sets you up for failure and leads you to abandon the long-term goal. It's the long-term goal that's important, right?

Laurel0724

Bless your heart! I hear your pain and the desperation in your writing. I can relate to that feeling. The GOOD NEWS is it sounds as if you've hit "your bottom". I know, for me, until I was so demoralized and sick and tired of being sick and tired, I wasn't willing to make the necessary changes I needed, to make life-long, sustainable changes.

How I started was going to a nutritionist and got a food plan that works for me, taking into consideration that I am a compulsive eater choosing recovery, so my needs may be a little bit different than some. (Case in point: the nutritionist wanted me to eat 6 - 8 servings of bread / day. If I ate that, I'd GAIN weight!) I know some don't have to do so, but the only way I've been able to cut my cravings, was to eliminate sugar and white flour from my food plan. After the first three days, I don't even miss sugar. The white flour is trickier, just because it is EVERYWHERE, so I have to plan for my meals.

Once I cut those things out of my food plan, I started to feel better IMMEDIATELY! I was then willing to walk, just a bit. Then found a neighbor who would walk four days a week with me. Now, I've taken up jogging?! (THIS is a TRUE MIRACLE; I'M amazed and grateful that this 55-year old dog is learning new tricks!

It has all been a process....and I haven't done it alone. The OA program is wonderful. The meetings, the accountability for me is crucial, and working the 12-step program of recovery. You don't have to do this alone anymore! There is a supportive community of loving people with open arms waiting to be of service. I am becoming the miracle I have heard about and seen in others. I KNOW the program works - I've seen it countless times, and I'm living proof. It is the ONLY thing that has given me peace and sanity around food. I KNOW it can work for you. Can it help you get to your goal by February? I don't know that. However, I DO know you'll be a lot more at peace walking down that isle!

Blessings to you!

acollis1

There is some good advice here! But it sounds like you are putting alot of pressure on yourself! When we do that it makes it harder to achieve our goals.... Just remember this man you are marrying loves you just the way you are!!! Wanting to make yourself healthy is a great thing, but it takes time. So be patient with yourself and know your future husband loves you for you, he'll be proud of you when you get there
I would just plug your numbers into MFP and see what they recommend, try to stick with whole foods (fruits, veggies, lean proteins) Remeber a serving of a cooked whole grain (ex brown rice) should only be about 1/2 cup. They say you should shoot to drink half your body weight in ounces of water! Ditch white potatoes and replace them with sweet potatoes! Stay away from processed foods! These are a few general rules of things to do while trying to lose weight! They have worked for me!
I'm sure there are exercise programs you could do, try a DVD at home and see how it goes! Good luck, and congrats on your wedding!

angie007az

You are starting a bit late but any progress is good. You can expect to lose about 1 - 2 pounds per week. It all depends on you. A book you may want to get is "The Fast Diet" by Dr. Michael Mosley. Good Luck.

dwtimeoutt

When I was younger and has a young family, I lost 32lbs in 5 months and that was all I had to lose so I believe you can do it. 50 by your wedding sounds realistic to me. I think figuring out your calories intake is your first step. Then I would not try to incorporate a bunch of diet foods in. I would start with healthy choices and don't skip any meals thinking it is faster. Once you have your diet down, add some exercise. Since you have a significant amount to lose you don't want to get injured so I would start with daily walks. Maybe start with 30 minutes a day and by the end of the month have it up to 1 hour. If you can't make it to the gym, buy some light weights and start with some simple free weights. Do arm exercises. You can also try the pool. You don't have to swim in the beginning. Just do simple leg and arm exercises in the water. It is fun and easy to do. Personally I do best in the winter months. I guess because I know how damaging those holiday treats can be. So I give myself my own Christmas gifts excluding any food. Did you know you can find the calorie intake on almost any food in a restraunt? Yesterday I avoided the pizza but had a small piece of flat bread with a super yummy cranberry salad while out with the grandsons. Last week I had another yummy salad with a Thai Curry Soup. Got the soup at the noodle company. 210 calories.
MY overall point is this. Hang in there no matter what. A little success is much better than none at all. We all feel down on ourselves. I now have 70lbs to lose and I'm trying to lose it for a Hawaii trip. I too waited too long. It's not going to happen, but I will lose some and less than 3 weeks back into this I feel better. To me, feeling better is half the challenge.
Friend me if you think I can be a positive support for you. There is so much advice here that is great and a big help but one of the most important support tools is the encouragement of others.

barbieNOT

I agree.. you might be able, all you can do is just do your best! We never know what our bodies will do! Eat healthy and walk! best wishes !

BossLadyDSimp

I agree with everyone else about the health aspect. Just stick to the plan ... workout (even if its just walking), stay under your calories and you will see a change. I have only lost 14 lbs but my face looks slimmer, my clothes are looser, my skin looks better! Those are all NON SCALE VICTORIES!

I know that a wedding is importnat, but if you do it the right way you can lose all the weight you want and have amazing anniversary photos and fun renewing vows parties!

I think your fiance loves you now, how you are, hold on to that and improve!! Feel free to write me if you ever need to vent or want to share some success!

navyrigger46

Not going to happen in a healthy way, so just forget about doing it by the wedding. If you want to be healthy for yourself and your family, set yourself to lose 1-2 pounds per week (I assume you have a lot to lose since you mention wanting to lose 150) and set your sights on your first anniversary. You should be able to lose 75-100 by then as long as you do your part. It'll slow when you near the end, but imagine how you'll look by your second anniversary. I know it sucks when you're just starting out, thinking in terms of years when you want results now, but remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint.

Rigger

Mcgrawhaha

if you have 150 pounds to lose, then you should be able to lose a larger amount of weight at first than a lot of people. im not being rude, but the larger you are, the faster the weight loss in the begining. if you are upwards of 300 pounds, then you should be able to lose 2 pounds a week, easily, possibly 3 with hard work and exercise! lets say you have 16 weeks until your wedding, thats a loss of 32-48 pounds... but like i said, thats 100% dedication... better get to work!

kristindecesare

You are not alone! Just remember that anything is possible, but you need to believe in yourself. Start with small goals that you can achieve such as, logging your food for 5 days in a row, walking everyday day for 10 minutes, drinking less soda(or none). You can't take this on and expect to succeed if you don't take baby steps. That's not so say that you can't achieve great things quickly but it sounds like we need to build your confidence that a healthier life is possible! As everyone else mentioned, it's just not possible(or safe) to lose more than 1-2 pounds per week. Clearly your fiance loves you just the way you are and you should too but I understand that you want to look and feel awesome and sexy on your big day! Believe me, you are going to feel amazing 20 pounds lighter on your big day. I'm not a professional but I'd be happy to help you with food recommendations and be friends on here with you to keep you motivated! You can do it! It won't always be easy but it will be worth it!!