Anxiety, Depression, OCD, PTSD and others

ladyofivy

Hi all!

:flowerforyou:

This is a weekly topic for those of us who deal with mental/psychological issues on top of trying to lose weight, to discuss how we're feeling as well as the unique challenges that come along with weight loss while dealing with a mental illness. All are encouraged to speak up and share. Many, many people are suffering here, and many, many are willing to offer loving support.

I personally struggle with depression, anxiety disorder, phobia and phobia-related OCD.
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How has your week been? How was last week? Has anyone had any specific issue that they'd like to share? Is anyone new here, who would like to share what his or her specific issue is?

I'm currently dealing with a phobic episode right now, which is causing me a lot of anxiety. My phobia relates to disease, and I have a small and new bump on my head, that's clearly not a zit or a bug bite, but it's about that size. I think it's on my skull and not my scalp, so my mind automatically thinks that I have some bizarre form of skull cancer. LOL Putting it down here makes it sounds funny, and it's easy to make fun of it. It's not so easy, though, laying in bed awake and worrying about it all night, having my dreams all revolve around it, and feeling like I'm going to cry all the time. The other part of the phobia is that I'm afraid of going to the doctors for diagnoses. Please please don't tell me that you know someone who died of a head lump, because it will put me over the edge! I would very much benefit from someone telling me that they had the same thing happen and are fine, though. lol I know it sounds crazy. But I guess that's what I, like many of you, are here for.

So that's my current issue.

Anyone else care to share? I'm here to be supportive!

JennaGermain

First of all, hypochondria is strong in me. I get a pain in my stomach and automatically worry it's cancer or a bleeding ulcer or etc. If I get a pain in the abdomen (that likely turns out to be gas or something) I dwell on it that it's cancer or my appendix or some other horrible thing, so I can totally relate to obsessing about anything that appears or feels abnormal on your body.

I have a bump on my head that appeared years ago and it itches. The VA dermatologist tried to remove it (twice) with freezing, but it just comes back. I have no idea what initially caused it, but I think part of the problem is my hair growing through the area riles it up or something but my doctor (despite having no idea what caused it nor, apparently, how to make it go away forever) isn't worried at all so I've learned to just live with it and ignore it.

As for how I'm doing this week, I "forgot" to take my meds Sat, Sun & Monday. I did take them today though. I say "forgot" because, at least on Sunday, I eventually remembered but it was evening so I decided "screw it" and didn't take them even then. It's funny how I know how bad I get to feeling if I stop taking the meds but I still get to a point where I resent having to remember to take something every day and I think I feel crappy anyway so obviously they're not doing anything, but I have family who can vouch that I'm WAY worse feeling and behaving when I'm off meds. Luckily, I don't think my 3-day gap lowered the levels enough to affect much since I usually don't really feel it unless I miss a week or more.

Up until the gap, I'd gotten better at taken my meds consistently. One of the pills I'm supposed to take one in the morning and one with dinner but 9 times out of 10 I'd forget to take the dinner one. Last week, I actually managed to remember the 2nd dose every day except one.

I haven't exercised because I feel like it'll just make me tired and sweaty and waste time I could be doing something else, so I guess I better work on that. After work today, I have yet another follow-up for my f'ed up jaw (I don't think the latest bone graft is taking either) and I'm trying to find the paperwork from my previous dentist so I can see if there's any way I can sue my original dentist for f'ing up my jaw so bad (and unnecessarily).

Amber030583

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How has your week been? How was last week? Has anyone had any specific issue that they'd like to share? Is anyone new here, who would like to share what his or her specific issue is?

Well, yesterday I came into work to only get a call that one of our guys was on layoff had passed away. He was only 32. Had a heart attack at home. His wife and kids went up to Madison for the night to come home and find him. So last minute I ended up going to a visitation and funeral. This really messed me up. His widow in only 29 and they have three kids. She does not work. He told me on numerous accounts that he works so his wife doesn't have to. He worked for us and he owned his own landscaping/masonry/ roofing business.

They did live pretty well but they were only married three years or so.

I lost it. I couldnt stop crying cause when I saw the hurst I was like that is the last vehicle he will ride in. If he could he would have wanted to ride on his motorcycle. His wife came in and saw him and almost passed out. That was the final tipping point I found myself in a complete panic attack. I did not have my xanax on me to calm me down at all. I just dealt with it as much as I could and sat through the service. By the time I made it back to work I could barely handle seeing light, looking at the computer and I was just down right beat. It was horrible. I kept telling myself this is nothing compared to what his family is going through.

Throughout the whole service I kept telling myself Matt better not do this to me. He better start taking better care of himself. The kicker of it all was Bill's daughter told me when they found him he had the phone book open to his doctors page. Ugh so rough.

With all the emotions yesterday and I am still dealing with it all I am just to the point of exhaustion. I couldn't even begin the thought of working out. I did not have it in me yesterday. Hopefully today.

ladyofivy

I've been really busy offline today. I apologize for not responding sooner.

Jenna, thank you for sharing your own head bump story. I'm glad that you've been more consistent with your meds until you had the small gap. I hope that you're able to find it in you to work out again. You deserve it! Take good care of that jaw... I'm sorry that it's being such a problem!

Amber, I'm just so sorry for the loss. You're doing the best you can with a situation that is unbearable. You take time for yourself, and get well. Sometimes weight loss just has to take the back burner to mental sanity. (((hugs))) take good care of yourself. I'm thinking of you.

scotlanded

I struggle a whole lot with anxiety and depression - the majority of why I joined this website and why I started exercising was because I know the benefits exercise and weightloss can have on mental health issues. I'm really glad that there's a group out here for those of us that struggle with this sort of thing

I've actually been doing fairly decently with my brainspace as of late, however! My doctor upped my antidepressants a few weeks ago and it's like a lightbult went off in my head. Suddenly my moods have leveled out considerably, I hardly have to take the short-term anti-anxiety pills and I haven't felt the inexplicable sadness associated with my depression. So often there would be nothing particular wrong in my life, I just couldn't get out of bed and was missing a lot of work. I'm happy to say that I haven't missed a day of work in over two weeks

There's always days or moments where life feels overwhelming again and I always find it really difficult to make myself exercise or whatnot on those days. It's like I -know- that getting out and getting active will make me feel better, but I just can't force myself to do it.

JennaGermain

There's always days or moments where life feels overwhelming again and I always find it really difficult to make myself exercise or whatnot on those days. It's like I -know- that getting out and getting active will make me feel better, but I just can't force myself to do it.

I'm with you there. That's one of my key problems, too. I -know- it will do me good, but I have trouble forcing myself to actually do it. It the same problem I have with social gatherings. I usually have a pretty decent time, but I always find myself trying to find excuses not to go.

thatTOPSlady

I have issues with depression (? I guess that is what it is....although it does seem to come and go with my monthly cycles.....but it is so much more than PMS). Right now I am on the "down" end of it. The blah feeling. The constant struggle to do even the simplest tasks. Something like getting my daughter ready for church and our family out the door seems HUGE and takes a long time. But when I'm not in the "down" mode, like in 2 more weeks, it will not be an issue and I will look back and think "how silly".

When I am down like this, I have a continuous headache, I feel like everyone has done me wrong, the kids seem excessively loud and I am short tempered. There is also some kind of fog....that hinders me from being in the now and enjoying everyday life.

so.............yeah. that's why I'm here.

iowabelle

I have long-term depression and anxiety. Some days I don't get out of bed, or even brush my hair. It seems like too much trouble.

I don't have a significant other or children, I lost/quit my job partly because of the depression (and the fact that my boss didn't believe that I had depression issues... which was interesting since so many accomodations were made for his blindness--I guess depression might have been acceptable if it had been a visible problem). His boss described me as being mercurial and hard to predict. Go figure.

So I'm not working, which of course is a source of anxiety; I'm bored and don't feel like doing anything; I look like crap because I don't have the money to buy clothes (my clothes are wearing out) and do basic maintenance stuff. My home looks like crap too because I don't have the energy to do housework.

And I really don't know what medical assistance is available to me in my community, since I don't have health insurance anymore.

What I need to do is find any job to get income and get out of the house, but it seems like there's so many obstacles to that I just get overwhelmed by the list of things I have to do. I know I should break the list down... but getting started is the hardest.

Like, how do I explain how I've spent the last couple years? Why I quit my professional job?

Honesty about my problem hasn't served me well in the past.

megsta21

I suffer from depression. I dont know why or how. My Dad and my brother are both on Anti depressants for life and i DO NOT want to be like that!!! I am scared of being on drugs for the rest of my life... so ive made a change.

Some things I have taken which have helped are St Johns wort and Vitamin B.... At the moment since i joined here I haven't taken either of these really... I am feeling much happier within myself now i have made the decision to change my life... Oh dont get me wrong i have def had some moody / snappy days... but nothing compared to when i was wallowing in my own self pity...
This doesn't work for everyone, each person is different, but this is just me im talking about here...

My sister in law has a massive lump on the top of her head, where your right horn would be if you had any.... Its a Cyst... all it needs is a doc to prick it and drain it and she wouldn't even feel it... but she is too scared to do this too... I have had cysts all my life and even though i normally freak at needles, i don't when it comes to these cause I know i cant feel it... I try and encourage her.. and i hope she will have it drained soon before it does grow to be a nuisance. =]

megsta21

I have long-term depression and anxiety. Some days I don't get out of bed, or even brush my hair. It seems like too much trouble.

I don't have a significant other or children, I lost/quit my job partly because of the depression (and the fact that my boss didn't believe that I had depression issues... which was interesting since so many accomodations were made for his blindness--I guess depression might have been acceptable if it had been a visible problem). His boss described me as being mercurial and hard to predict. Go figure.

So I'm not working, which of course is a source of anxiety; I'm bored and don't feel like doing anything; I look like crap because I don't have the money to buy clothes (my clothes are wearing out) and do basic maintenance stuff. My home looks like crap too because I don't have the energy to do housework.

And I really don't know what medical assistance is available to me in my community, since I don't have health insurance anymore.

What I need to do is find any job to get income and get out of the house, but it seems like there's so many obstacles to that I just get overwhelmed by the list of things I have to do. I know I should break the list down... but getting started is the hardest.

Like, how do I explain how I've spent the last couple years? Why I quit my professional job?

Honesty about my problem hasn't served me well in the past.

Iwoabelle,

Getting out of bed is the first step... lay there until you think of the yummiest (but healthiest) breakfast you can make yourself, i know it sounds silly but it gets me out of bed on the weekend!! A nice yummy omelette with tomato, a little bit of bacon & cheese does it most saturdays!!

If not for that think of something you really wanna do and just do it!

As for clothes, thats a bit easier... Go and have a look in op-shops, Salvation Army or any second hand clothes shops!! You can find a lot of good clothes in there for very cheap most of the time... and half of them you wouldnt have even known had been worn before!!

If you have a healthfood shop near you, go in and have a talk to them... they may have a naturopath who you can talk to for free! My sister is one and she put me onto the St Johns wort (one every morning) and omg!! i was HAPPY! Every DAY! As i said this isnt for everyone but sure worked for me...

I dont know if this helps but its what helped / helps me...
megan

scotlanded

I took St John's Wort for a bit when I didn't have insurance. It didn't actually do anything for my depression, though. And it would make me dizzy or super twitchy when I was taking it.

I would suggest you look into free community counseling or something of the like, especially if you don't have insurance. If you're able to make it to a few sessions, hopefully you and the counselor can figure out some sort of plan to help you get over the initial hurdles of being okay enough to start to get your life together :]

Good luck, hon. It's a long, hard battle - there's no denying it - but it's entirely worth it in the end. I feel better than I've felt in years, thanks to the help of my doctor and a counselor I saw a year ago that really helped me work through some things.

scotlanded

I have issues with depression (? I guess that is what it is....although it does seem to come and go with my monthly cycles.....but it is so much more than PMS).

Have you spoken with your doctor about possibly having PMDD? I don't have it myself, but from what I understand, it's basically like taking regular PMS and multiplying it by a thousand. Especially if you experience such drastic emotional swings and if you've noticed a pattern that relates to your monthly cycle, it's definitely worth a chat with your doctor about possibly controlling the symptoms.

iowabelle

I've taken St. John's wort and didn't think it helped. I've taken meds too and didn't think they were helpful.

And to be a total gloomy gus, I've gone to local re-sale stores and Salvation Army for clothes and they really don't carry things in my size. I spent most of a morning going through blue jeans, found ONE pair which I did buy, but they don't really fit. They're so tight I'm about to pass out. And they were the BIGGEST ladies' jeans in the store!!

I guess the upside is, when I lose weight, there will be things to to pick from... but it seems like most of the clothes in there are size 10 or smaller. (Boy, if I were a size 2 I could fill a closet! -- But, honestly, the smallest I've ever been is a size 14 at 115 pounds-- I don't think there's much likelihood I can get smaller than that. But that's 100+ pounds away, no sense in worrying about that until it's in shooting rangfe...)

thatTOPSlady

scotlanded, could you tell me what PMDD stands for so I can research it? My mood improved dramatically today. The fog lifted. It is day 26 of my cycle. Like clockwork. The good thing about my depression (?) being tied to my cycles is that I know that no matter how down I may get, in a short while it will be over. Thanks for the tip. I do plan to discuss it when I go back to my doctor (which is the free clinic and doesn't always have the best doctors, but it's better than nothing).

weaklink109

scotlanded, could you tell me what PMDD stands for so I can research it? My mood improved dramatically today. The fog lifted. It is day 26 of my cycle. Like clockwork. The good thing about my depression (?) being tied to my cycles is that I know that no matter how down I may get, in a short while it will be over. Thanks for the tip. I do plan to discuss it when I go back to my doctor (which is the free clinic and doesn't always have the best doctors, but it's better than nothing).

Just read your post, and since I have the answer to your question......."Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a condition marked by severe depression symptoms, irritability, and tension before menstruation" (www.google.com/health)

You will get lots of info just by putting PMDD into a search engine.

thatTOPSlady

Thank you!