Making the right choices consistently is hard on the weekend

stroutman81

Here's an except from a blog post a made a month or so ago. It resonated with a lot of people, so I figured it'd be worth sharing here.

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So the short of it is you need to condition yourself to bypass short-term gratification for the benefit of long-term gratification. Right? It's the choices you make in "the heat of the moment" that are conflicting with what's ultimately making you unhappy.

Interrupting the automaticity that accompanies the "right now" is easier said than done, I understand.

But start with small changes. For starters, let your boyfriend know how you feel. If he cares about you, he'll do what he can to make things easier for you in the weight control department. Inform him of what this means to you. That'll help minimize the chances of totally blowing things when you go to see him.

Rid your house and ask him to rid his of the foods you can't control. If you know temptation gets the better of you with certain foods, then strip them of their power. Unless there's a true addiction going on, your cravings won't be strong enough to drive you to bypass eating what's "on hand" and travel for your binge food.

Write out a list of your whys and read them every morning and every night. Set up reminders in conspicuous places to get your mind thinking on the right track as frequently as possible.

Ultimately, you have a choice. You either live in accordance to what it is you say you want OR you talk a big game yet do the polar opposite when life's smacking you in the face. Control is attainable, you just have to be willing to reach out and grab the reigns.

You're certainly not alone. The weekends are tough for most folks I work with. It makes sense, too. As a society, we're conditioned to let loose on the weekends. We work hard during the weeks so we can play harder during the weekends. The weeks, for most of us, contain a lot of structure and rigidity, so it's easy to couple structure and rigidity with regards to exercise and nutrition along with our schedules.

In addition to this, most people have not only been conditioned to let loose on the weekends since they were kids... they've also been conditioned to eat poorly during this time, too. Think about when you used to go out to eat with your parents. When you'd get to have sleep overs at friend's houses. When you'd have birthday parties. Weekends.

So put your game face on and decide that you're going to improve your lifestyle during the weekends. I'm not asking you to be a bore. There are ways to live loosely on the weekends without gorging yourself.

First step should be breaking the association you have with relaxation and eating. Relaxation doesn't have to accompany eating crap and lots of it.

Also, eat to live. Don't live to eat. Many people, especially Americans, plan their fun times on the weekends around food. It's amazing to me how most everyone I encounter relate eating with friends and good times. For me... hell, that's a bore. I've conditioned myself to grab food with my friends on the go so we can get to where we're heading to have fun. That might be a hike. Or fishing. Or bike riding. Or whatever that keeps me moving. LIving.

Food is simply the fuel that keeps me going.

Don't get me wrong. I do enjoy a nice meal on occasion with my wife and friends. But it's not a weekend ritual. And when I do go out and have a nice, giant meal... I don't let it turn into my entire weekend. I make healthy choices beyond that.

Which brings me to my last point. Prepare healthy choices in advance going into the weekend. Have fruit salads made, lean meats cooked, fresh veggies ready to bite into.

In my experience, it's about slowly regaining power/control of your habits on the weekends. It won't happen overnight but the more you practice it and the more habits you adopt, the more you'll override your unhealthy conditioning with your healthy conditioning. The more you'll believe that you do have it in you to make better choices.

But the fact remains that you have to want this. You can't just say it. You have to mean it. And have very good, emotionally-backed, powerful reasons backing what you mean. Without them, consistency and longevity aren't going to be a reality.

ndm531

Hi Steve,

Thank you for posting this. I really appreciate your insights. I am putting a big sign over my kitchen door, "You have to want this, and mean it. You can't just say it." I have been making healthy choices for one month now and I think in order for me to make this a lifelong change those words will really help me.

Thanks again,
Nicky

stroutman81

Hi Nicky. Glad you were able to take something positive from it. Best to you!

Laura80111

Steve,

Another good post. Yep it's the weekends that are the hardest:grumble: and it's because I'm away from my routine which is so easy to keep at work. I will have to try harder to "plan" my weekends instead of flying by the seat of my pants

Laura

stroutman81

Take charge, Laura. It's very doable. And it only gets easier. Just have to make it over that initial hurdle of breaking the ingrained habits.

cardigirl

Adding to my queue. Thank you for the post.

I've been trying to make the social times, times of action, rather than eating, but you're right, it's very ingrained in people to associate food and alcohol with good times. It's okay to do the big meal once in awhile, but I find for me that it's waaaaay too easy to start by saying "it's okay this once" then it becomes weekly, or twice weekly, or, well, you know.

Kath15

I'm bumping this, Steve. It's another great post that I think serves as a dose of reality for people who need it and a nice reminder for the rest!

stroutman81

Adding to my queue. Thank you for the post.

I've been trying to make the social times, times of action, rather than eating, but you're right, it's very ingrained in people to associate food and alcohol with good times. It's okay to do the big meal once in awhile, but I find for me that it's waaaaay too easy to start by saying "it's okay this once" then it becomes weekly, or twice weekly, or, well, you know.

Your welcome.

And really, I abide by the old Pareto Principle - 80/20. 80% of my diet is dialed in what I'd consider perfectly. The other 20% is much looser. And I tend to allocate this looser portion on my weekends so, while they're not entirely unrestricted, my weekends are much more "easy to swallow" given the general laxity that accomanpies them.

While the original post is generally about people being too loose, there's a flip side to that where many folks lay out much too rigid of guidelines and they stick with them temporarily, for obvious reasons. Temporary pursuits generally lead to temporary results.

stroutman81

I'm bumping this, Steve. It's another great post that I think serves as a dose of reality for people who need it and a nice reminder for the rest!

Thanks... glad you enjoyed!

robin52077

Another great thread Steve, thank you!

cardigirl

Adding to my queue. Thank you for the post.

I've been trying to make the social times, times of action, rather than eating, but you're right, it's very ingrained in people to associate food and alcohol with good times. It's okay to do the big meal once in awhile, but I find for me that it's waaaaay too easy to start by saying "it's okay this once" then it becomes weekly, or twice weekly, or, well, you know.

Your welcome.

And really, I abide by the old Pareto Principle - 80/20. 80% of my diet is dialed in what I'd consider perfectly. The other 20% is much looser. And I tend to allocate this looser portion on my weekends so, while they're not entirely unrestricted, my weekends are much more "easy to swallow" given the general laxity that accomanpies them.

While the original post is generally about people being too loose, there's a flip side to that where many folks lay out much too rigid of guidelines and they stick with them temporarily, for obvious reasons. Temporary pursuits generally lead to temporary results.

I like the 80/20 rule idea...and I think that's kind of where I fall, but there have been weeks where it was more like 60/40...or worse! :laugh:

stroutman81

Glad you guys enjoyed the post! Thanks for the feedback.

christopher_stockdale

My wife and I have decided to be a bit more lax on the weekend, but to count everything anyways. Despite this, even at restaurants, we're making better decisions concerning what we order and eat on the weekends. I find myself not having the second beer, the appetizer, ordering Vinagrette instead of Bleu Cheese, or skipping the fries for a salad.

I'm trying to get into the mindset that I'm not being starved, or being denied. It feels to me that I'm just being accountable for my choices, and if I can fit it into my diary, I'll accept it. If anything, I find myself full AND still having calories left, not the opposite.

stroutman81

My wife and I have decided to be a bit more lax on the weekend, but to count everything anyways. Despite this, even at restaurants, we're making better decisions concerning what we order and eat on the weekends. I find myself not having the second beer, the appetizer, ordering Vinagrette instead of Bleu Cheese, or skipping the fries for a salad.

I'm trying to get into the mindset that I'm not being starved, or being denied. It feels to me that I'm just being accountable for my choices, and if I can fit it into my diary, I'll accept it. If anything, I find myself full AND still having calories left, not the opposite.

I think that's very reasonable and sensible.

Your post reminded me of two books I highly recommend:

1. Mindless Eating

2. Volumetrics