I'm amazed 45 pounds down and I still feel just as fat

24

Replies

  • gmthisfeller
    gmthisfeller Posts: 779 Member
    I hope our heads catch up! It's a freaky feeling, when I break it down I feel so good and then I look in the mirror and it's still me.

    In your profile (thanks for keeping it public) you mentioned that you want to feel good in your skin. So, that is a goal you haven't met yet. BUT, you are finally thinking about it, looking for it, stretching out to catch a glimpse. You are so on the right path. I know it is a hackneyed expression, but "You Go Girl!"
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
    I'm down 211 lbs and I've got 50 to 60 more to go and I still feel fat. I walk by store fronts and still have to stop and look around to see who that person in the reflection is and find out it's me and I'm shocked. I'm not sure we'll ever get over the fat person in us, but I know even skinny people have fat feeling days.
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
    it took me 30 pounds to see a difference. between 30 and 40 i was feeling it and seeing it. now at 46 pounds lost i feel fat as ever. seriously. i know i move better. i can walk further i can get it at the gym longer. and now im getting random comments about my weight loss from co workers which is nice. but in the mirror i see my face even fatter than it was 15 pounds ago. know what i mean? all i can say is just keep swimming. just keep swimming. just keep swimming.
  • MaryRegs
    MaryRegs Posts: 272 Member
    every dang day....
  • cppeace
    cppeace Posts: 764 Member
    You've worked hard and you're in onderland . Be proud and look forward to seeing more and more of a difference.
    :)
  • JessieNeutronGirlGenius
    JessieNeutronGirlGenius Posts: 268
    It is definitely how you perceive yourself. Try to have a positive outlook and you'll see changes!
  • lynn1982
    lynn1982 Posts: 1,439 Member
    I don't have any words of advice for you, but I just wanted to say that I understand. I've lost over 60 pounds and I STILL feel like I'm 180 pounds. At 4'11, that's morbidly obese. I know I've lost weight, my clothes are definitely smaller, and I do FEEL BETTER most days (I no longer get winded walking up the stairs and I can actually breathe when I lie down...) but when I go shopping, I still feel like I should be buying a size 12 instead of a size 2 (again, I'm 4'11...) or an XL sweater instead of an XS. Definitely keep pushing though... as soon as I started focusing on health rather than weight loss, the weight fell off. And focusing on health is what has kept me going.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    Mirrors lie, photos don't.
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
    I can certainly relate. I have lost 48 pounds but I have so far to go it feels as if it is just nothing almost. The thing that brought it home to me really for the first time was hefting the bag of dog food I got for my labs. It is 44 to 50 pounds depending on where I buy. I have lost 48 pounds. I look at the bag and thing wow I used to have that much more fat on my body. Just Wow.
  • _jayciemarie_
    _jayciemarie_ Posts: 574 Member
    I've lost 32lbs. Stupid me--I didn't really take a full size "Before" photo. Even though I see the weightloss on the scale, and I actually had to buy new pants 2 sizes down, I STILL don't see the difference when I look in the mirror. I look like the same fat girl. That is how I know I can relate to people that are anorexic/bulimic. I don't have an eating disorder--but I know when I look in the mirror I see all the things wrong with me.
  • rainunrefined
    rainunrefined Posts: 850 Member
    Yes, I call this fat brain. It will take quite some time for your brain to catch up to your body, in my experience. I lost 70lbs initally before having babies and it took me a couple of years to catch up. Take progress pictures, they tell more than the mirror. Keep working!
  • iperceive2
    iperceive2 Posts: 72 Member
    its mental i think...that picture that we have in our heads...we loose the weight but forget to work on how we think and feel about ourselves.
    Change how you see yourself. Love your body thru the progress...
  • Cinloykko
    Cinloykko Posts: 117 Member
    me too --- i am about to round the 40lbs mark and i still feel fat. LIke you said, there are def changes and I know and see them - clothes are loose, sizes down, less flab, etc.... but i dont feel any different. Somehow, i thought i would FEEL it and be this all-confident person once i am smaller but that didnt happen.

    Waiting for my head to catch up with body.....
    Although, i have about 50 more pounds to go so im not even at my halfway mark yet. Maybe somewhere further down the road, i will be able to internalize the change
  • gmthisfeller
    gmthisfeller Posts: 779 Member
    I don't have an eating disorder--but I know when I look in the mirror I see all the things wrong with me.

    And when we see your pics, we see all the things RIGHT with you!
  • AlyssasDiet
    AlyssasDiet Posts: 120
    I hope our heads catch up! It's a freaky feeling, when I break it down I feel so good and then I look in the mirror and it's still me.

    Your head won't catch up on its own, you have to teach it a little. :smile: If you feel just as fat as you were 45 pounds ago, when you get to your goal weight you still won't be completely satisfied with your body. Unlessss you teach yourself to love your body no matter what size you are. :smile:
  • Hiker_Rob
    Hiker_Rob Posts: 5,547 Member
    I can sympathise, I'm down 50lbs and have 45 more to go. There are days I look in the mirror and say man I have a lot to loose still and it seems like very little has changed. There are other days though where I notice it more like if someone takes a photo that is comparable to one when I was larger, then I notice it. The mirror tells less than photos do for some reason. It could also be that since I have not yet reached my goal weight that I will continue to to notice my weight more, it's still there so it's going to be noticed.
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
    Find an activity, that you were having problems with before. Maybe a flight of stairs that kicked your *kitten* all the time. Try it now, revel in the EASE of taking that flight of stairs or find a chair with arms you were unwilling/unable to squeeze in before and know how much you've changed.

    That will help you even more than pictures, belt holes, or numbers on a scale.

    The day before I joined this site, I went to a Patriots game and getting to my seats on the top level of the Stadium made me want to die. Just walking up ramps. This past July I ran a 10K that ended in Gillette Stadium and I ran the @#$% out of those ramps before coming out of the giant inflatable Patriots helmet and across the the 50 yard line to finish the race. I cannot convey the feeling of TRIMUPH I felt.

    This past september I did the electric run at Gillette and I didn't know we'd have to finish in the stadium running the ramps but I was hollering and whooping the entire time and the people around me must have thought I was out of my flipping mind.

    Now THAT is inspirational!
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    Your brain doesn't recognize incremental changes. When you see yourself every day in a mirror, your brain doesn't notice that quarter inch that was lost, it's a tiny, irrelevant detail to the vast amount of visual data your brain processes on a constant basis (fun fact, most of what you regularly "see" is a recreation of previous visual data, this is a brain quirk that magicians take full advantage of when doing magic tricks.) Thats why you need side by side comparison photos, to force the brain to recognize the bigger differences.
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
    How many times did you used to look in the mirror... When I wasn't bothered I didn't look. Never felt the need too.

    Maybe you are forgetting the difference because you never really looked then?

    Wow. There's a lot of truth there. I've always avoided mirrors.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Yes, I kind of feel this way.

    I currently weigh 211, but I once weighed 307. So I'm down 96 lb, and honestly I feel quite different from when I was 307 but NOT really different from when I was about 280 or less.

    My whole adult life I've been mainly in the 250-270 range, and that was comfortable for me. Dangerously obese...but honestly very comfortable, able to walk/move freely, tons of energy, normal bloodwork, etc.

    So many people talk about feeling like a different person after weight loss and I can't really relate.

    In my head I'm still the same. I am now buying size 14, 16, 18, XL and 1X and I feel like the clerks in the stores are thinking, "Who is she buying these for, they won't fit her" yet they do fit. 18's are swimming on me. I know I am smaller. But my body actually looks basically the same. People who haven't seen me in awhile and see me "irl" comment on the huge change but I really believe anyone just seeing facebook photos of me would think I'd lost MAYBE 10-15 lb. If that.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member

    Something happened last night though that caught me off guard. A friend took a picture of me without my being aware (we were having a sing along with friends lol) and she posted it on FaceBook without me knowing. Well, I came across it later and for the first time in a long long time, I thought I looked more like a "normal" person than a "fat girl". Still have a looong way to go, but I do think our heads will catch up with what our bodies are really starting to look like. Keep it up!!!

    This is a cool feeling and it's happened to me too. For awhile I kept thinking all of the photos like that were flukes, because even at 300 lb I'd occasionally have a very flattering photo (although just of my face/shoulders back then).

    The best for me is when I'm walking into a store with my husband and I catch our reflection and we look to me like two big, tall, people. Not fat people. Granted, he's not fat. But I was used to cringing inwardly at my own reflection when in those situations and it still catches me off guard.
  • jaimie120
    jaimie120 Posts: 39 Member
    It is the world of self loathing and poor body image that we have carried with us for so many years. The mind should catch up to the body. Until then, focus on the good things you see and do, savour every compliment someone gives you and keep working hard to become the person you are visualizing.
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    When I first saw the title "I'm amazed 45 pounds down and I still feel just as fat" I thought, did I post this and forget?? :-)

    I've gone from a size 12 to a size 6/8 and yet I still feel like I'm fat. I think it's the pants! I've tried to weed my closet out as I lost each size and then I'd buy a couple pair of pants that are nice and snug so I would stay motivated, but the problem with pants that fit nicely is that you lose the effect of feeling thin when your big clothes are loose. Today I'm wearing a size 6 pant and they are quite snug so it's causing a little muffin top and that's all I can focus on. I still see all the fat areas instead of focusing on how great my tiny little butt looks, or how slim my legs are. I only see the little roll above and below my belly button and it makes me feel like I've hardly lost anything at all.

    The suggestion of taking pictures is a good one. I saw a picture of me the other day and I actually thought it looked good.
  • vmr2811
    vmr2811 Posts: 36
    Wow, it's a relief that I'm not the only one who feels this way, but yet kinda sad so many other women are experiencing the say thoughts! I'm down total 65 lbs since my heaviest and I still see the fat girl in the mirror as well. I still have some more to go until I hit my goal weight, but I as we know the scale doesn't dictate all. I have an old pair of pants that I have to step into sometimes just to remind myself I'm really thinner. For me too I get this horrible feeling when people say I look good and ask how much I've lost, almost like I'm still not deserving of the compliments. One day my brain will catch up, just wish it was sooner :) Keep up the great work OP and all the other folks who have commented!
  • kabdu108
    kabdu108 Posts: 14 Member
    Hi,
    I've lost 70 pounds. I don't feel like the fat person I was. I started at 235, and today I weighed in at 169. I've thrown out at least 3 wardrobes of clothing, and quit buying replacements. When I get up off the floor if feels fantastic. I can pick up my glasses when they drop faster than my son, and when I look in the mirror at all my body - I see the shadow of that obese sad woman, but she's no longer there. I was not fat all of my life, not until I hit almost 40 and had a back injury. Before that, I was normal.

    @tigersworld is absolutely correct. We don't naturally register the changes, and for a long time I could not see them either...Now am constantly focusing on the changes, and leaving that mental image of a fat bag behind. I have a 2 pound bag of sugar that I pick up and imagine that this is the fat that I lost this last week. I accept peoples compliments. I notice the heaviness and difficulty that seriously obese people have walking and moving, and thank God that I am no longer one of the sad and burdened people. I know I don't have to be afraid of life and wear fat as my armor. Notice the differences, don't hang on to the past, and happy trails to you.
  • KatAdele
    KatAdele Posts: 290 Member
    45 pounds is a four year old - just imagine you've been carrying a preschooler around piggy-back all day every day - you know how tiring that would be? I know what you mean though - I still have a hard time fathoming that I can shop in normal sizes now instead of women's (albeit the higher normal sizes). When I get discouraged I always think, I have two options, keep going or go back to how I was before. It's not much of a decision....
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
    45 pounds is a four year old - just imagine you've been carrying a preschooler around piggy-back all day every day - you know how tiring that would be? I know what you mean though - I still have a hard time fathoming that I can shop in normal sizes now instead of women's (albeit the higher normal sizes). When I get discouraged I always think, I have two options, keep going or go back to how I was before. It's not much of a decision....

    Oh yeah, forward is THE only choice.
  • marymickaela
    marymickaela Posts: 190 Member
    My weight loss journey started in May 2011 weighing 185. By my daughter's wedding in September of last year (2012) I was down to 150, so a drop of 35lbs. I had so much fun with my daughter shopping for my Mother of the Bride dress and all the salespeople telling me "I think she needs a size smaller". It was a wonderful day and I know I did look good for the wedding in my slinky dress. However, I hadn't lost that last 5 lbs I had aimed for and felt like a failure. I still felt fat. After the wedding I just kinda gave up on losing that 5lbs and started gaining.

    Well here I am 1 year having gained 27 of those 35lbs back. Talk about feeling like a failure. I just didn't care, or didn't care enough. Food tasted too good. I put away the size 12's and went back into the 14's, which are now getting tight. I finally had a wake-up call last week telling myself there was no way I'm buying a size 16 anything and now feel I'm back on track. I think (for me) clothes tell the difference and I need to ignore the mirror. Also, the inches tell the differences too. I need to accept I'll never be that 120lb girl I was for the 1st 40 years of my life, who could eat whatever she wanted and just be the best I can be.

    Mary
  • OneEyedWolf
    OneEyedWolf Posts: 19 Member
    Heck, I'm a guy and I can completely relate.

    I started this last March at a titch over 330lbs, I'm down to 225. Dropped from a size 44 waist 30 inseam jean (tight), to 34 waist 32 inseam (comfortable) and moved from the last hole in my belt to the first hole...and still see me in the mirror. To be honest though, I didn't see the change when I increased in mass either, was a rude awakening to find I'd gone from 220, built like a brick, to 330, built like pudding.

    Congrats on your loss! And here's to keepin' on keepin' on
  • caramelgyrlk
    caramelgyrlk Posts: 1,112 Member
    As women we are driven by hormones, life, and the negative voice that we ALLOW to get in our head and STAY in our head. We even compare what we have achieved as minimal progress to someone's supposed greater success. It goes back to the NEGATIVE voice. Embrace the new YOU. Start an online photo album of some of your old clothes, and compare them to your newer ones as well as pictures. Take advantage of any wellness programs that your employer (if applicable) may offer.

    You have a lot to be proud of and I am sure the flow of positive comments will enable you to see things from a different perspective. Keep striving.

    I wish you continued success.

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