How many MFP friends can you effectively support?

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  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    I had a lot friends on my MFP list and I try to offer support to all who log in. I started deleting those who do not log in and are not family or where not friends before MFP. I see people with more that a hundred friends. How can you support that many people? How do you keep up with their goals and offer meaningful comments on diet and exercise?

    I don't. If they want my input they ask on my wall or via PM.

    I remember different times :D

    @OP: I used to be anal about the number of friends I have. Wanted to keep it under 30. Then it got to 50, then 100 and so on. Now I just add friends who seems to be fitness minded and comment and support whenever I can. Try to keep it limited number of friends as much as I can but on my profile it states clearly that I don't have tons of time so be prepared to not hear from me often. I don't hold grudges about being deleted so they are free to delete me to make room if they find me unsupporting.
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
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    I've been here awhile so part of it is that I've built up my list gradually. I didn't add 140 people overnight. Some of my friends I know much better than others. Some I chat with daily; others I just offer a "good work!" if I happen to see that they've posted exercise or reported a loss.

    I have gotten much pickier about who I add though, since I do want to feel like I at least know who the people on my list are when I see them on my news feed.
    This. I only had maybe dozen friends for the first six months, but then as soon as I started talking about eating ice cream everyday, it grew really quickly. :happy: I try to make helpful comments here and there and I interact a lot with the active ones.
  • THECaptainObvious
    THECaptainObvious Posts: 399 Member
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    A couple if they eat small and don't mind sharing a bed.

    Eat small what? And sharing a bed is a no go since I can't sleep in the same position twice and ESPECIALLY if my partner is eating small things.. smh lol
  • twooliver
    twooliver Posts: 450 Member
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    I do not see it as my job to "support" everyone I friend. There is a huge benefit in friending people who are successful and serious about their weight loss journey. They support me and I support them everytime someone makes a comment, opens their food diary, expresses their frustrations. We're not here to enable or hold hands...rather to be inspired by one another. I've never expected my friends to comment on my posts... if I get a few who do...great. And if a few comment on their posts then I don't need to repeat what's already been said. I'm mindful to try and comment on folk's wall when no one else does however.

    I love following other ppl's journeys, that in itself is inspiring... and of course I hope that my journey can be of inspiration to others. This is how I understand "friends" on MFP...
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,723 Member
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    i'm around 175. would probably try to stay under 200. Contrary to popular belief, we are not all here for the same reasons and i am not supportive. My friends only need an occasional kick in the *kitten*. They are there for my amusement only.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,224 Member
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    Once my FL gets up over 150/160 I start having some trouble. The vast majority of my friends have been friends for a long time (like a year or more). It's not hard to support people that are active and regularly post "things" (fitness related or otherwise) because you get to "know" them and what they are working towards and struggling with. It's also not hard to support people when you add them slowly (instead of 20 people at a time) and you have things in common with them.

    I find it more difficult to support people that post only workouts/diary complete and no commentary ever. I have no idea who they are, what their goals are, what their struggles/injuries/illnesses/etc may be. It's very difficult to offer something meaningful. But that's just me.
  • Goal179
    Goal179 Posts: 314 Member
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    Great post. I built my friend list up over night because of a topic that I posted. Many people could identify with it and it sent my friend requests soaring. I accepted all of them because I was new to MFP and didn't know that I needed to be a little more descriminating. I also feel badly if someone sends me a request and I deny them. It just seems rude. But I guess I need to learn to be rude because it is becoming very difficult to keep up with them all. I honestly like to read their diaries, respond to their questions, and generally love and support them. But with over 120+ something friends, it is kind of hard. Sometimes I feel like a bad pal. One thing that has saved me is that alot of folks drop off or simply don't log very often. That has given me the opportunity to really get to know some of the core members of my group.
  • SweetTrouble_
    SweetTrouble_ Posts: 933 Member
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    I try, but sometimes I suck at being a good friend, it depends how needy they are. I don't expect every one of my friends everyday to be able to comment and show me love, we all have real lives outside of mfp.
  • twooliver
    twooliver Posts: 450 Member
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    i'm around 175. would probably try to stay under 200. Contrary to popular belief, we are not all here for the same reasons and i am not supportive. My friends only need an occasional kick in the *kitten*. They are there for my amusement only.


    LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    We do need our muses...

    :laugh:
  • Ivey05131980
    Ivey05131980 Posts: 1,118 Member
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    I have a bunch on my friends list and tend to have about 20 or so that I really support because I have gotten to know them, and you can see by there postings that they are super dedicated. ;) they are also usually the ones that support me as well ;) I have a lot on my list that never post anything, but yet they are on there everyday still ;) you do your best ;)


    This. :drinker:
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    I guess I think support comes in different forms? I don't know how many friends I have on here. I don't comment on each one, each day, but try to notice things and comment on them. I've also had folks contact me to connect who said they wanted to see how I ate and worked out. I've done that with folks myself. Learned from their efforts. To me that's support as well.
  • sarahz5
    sarahz5 Posts: 1,363 Member
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    This question is so weird to me. Do you ever wonder how many Facebook friends you can "support"? That's not the point of having MFP friends to me. I want to see what my friends are up to, follow their shenanigans, read their rants and raves... the point for me is to know there are a bunch of people out there who may not roll their eyes and barf a little when I talk about my latest PR or my caloric intake. Some people I friend because they are awesome and I want to see what they are up to, even though we really don't interact. Some people friend me to expand their network of runners, lifters, Jersey girls, attorneys, whatever they want on their news feed. It's all good.

    And I really don't get the defriending for low activity, unless you are in the 300 range and actually need to make room on your list. How does it harm me to have someone sitting there on my friend list, taking up zero space on my news feed because they have no activity? It doesn't. And then sometimes they come back, and I've been thanked for not dropping them during the hardships that kept them away from MFP.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    I'm at 39 or so, I don't find it too hard, as long as the person is relatively active. I'm on everyday though too.
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
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    A couple if they eat small and don't mind sharing a bed.

    :laugh:
  • fullerbrickroad
    fullerbrickroad Posts: 22
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    I don't have any friends. I'm not here for support or to form relationships. Friends just clutter up my newsfeed. Being alone works for me.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    Not everyone needs a customized response :) I'm perfectly okay receiving the occasional "yay you!". I like having people to talk to but their words of encouragement or lack thereof are not what motivate me. If a person can't do something without a herd of cheerleaders then that person is going wrong somewhere.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    None. I expect my friends to be able to support themselves. However, I gladly celebrate any victories they have and offer kind words of encouragement when they are struggling.

    But the type that whine about not getting enough support are typically not friend material to begin with.
  • MrsFowler1069
    MrsFowler1069 Posts: 657 Member
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    This question is so weird to me. Do you ever wonder how many Facebook friends you can "support"? That's not the point of having MFP friends to me. I want to see what my friends are up to, follow their shenanigans, read their rants and raves... the point for me is to know there are a bunch of people out there who may not roll their eyes and barf a little when I talk about my latest PR or my caloric intake. Some people I friend because they are awesome and I want to see what they are up to, even though we really don't interact. Some people friend me to expand their network of runners, lifters, Jersey girls, attorneys, whatever they want on their news feed. It's all good.

    And I really don't get the defriending for low activity, unless you are in the 300 range and actually need to make room on your list. How does it harm me to have someone sitting there on my friend list, taking up zero space on my news feed because they have no activity? It doesn't. And then sometimes they come back, and I've been thanked for not dropping them during the hardships that kept them away from MFP.

    This is pretty much where I'm at. While I appreciate that we have, to some degree, the common goals of weight loss / greater health, I don't expect my pals to babysit me. Nor should they realistically expect that from me, because I guarantee I don't have that to give.

    But when I have a chance to be here, I like to scroll through my feed and "catch up," even if that only means browsing. I do appreciate (really!) all of the encouragement, especially from people who are positive and have a sense of both humor and balance (as defined by my own albeit questionable guidelines). However, I don't take a tally of who did or didn't comment that day. I know as well as anyone that some days it's just not in the cards...it's a challenge to just schedule breathing, let alone a "Wtg!"

    Likewise, I don't always comment on each diary closure or period of exercise, but if I have a bit of extra time, I will. Or if something just jumps out at me about their day. Or if it seems that the person does have a struggle or concern pressing more on them at that time. I do want to be supportive, for sure.

    It's different for everyone, I guess, in terms of need, expectation, availability, desire, approach, etc. But for me, I am just as happy to read about the shenanigans of someone's kid or whatever as to have them comment on my diary. I know that when it comes down to it and I do want to discuss a fitness related issue or compare a recipe or lament jumping off of a calorie cliff for a day (well, there isn't much lamenting lol), at least some of them will be available, as I hope to be for them.

    I'll admit that I do have a handful of "favorite" friends that I know I'll hear from more often or that will always have some activity posted that is particularly of interest. I think this is normal, too. Good thing I only have one kid. Ha!

    I guess each of us needs to evaluate what works for us in this type of medium. If you are strictly about fitness, that's absolutely fine. If you prefer daily contact with each of your friends and can find like-minded individuals, then you should. I enjoy my "friends" here and I find them encouraging...and I hope I offer them the same. Just not every day. :wink:

    ETA: I did deactivate a couple of people following their respective periods of inactivity. Frankly, I felt terrible about and would do it differently today. Like you say, in my case, what does it hurt? I have plenty of room and if they decide to come back following whatever struggles they've had, then great! Who am I to judge?
  • Jacquieh73
    Jacquieh73 Posts: 9 Member
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    After joining just hours ago, exercising, eating, logging, and reading post, I TOTALLY understand what you are saying. MFP seems to be more effective for inspiration, congrats, etc with fewer friends. Otherwise it's just one more thing for me to worry about and not focusing on core "friends" and myself, which then helps my family. I'm glad I read your post to confirm my gut was right. Whew! Now, a few minutes later, I read other responses...they make sense too. Guess I'll just not input and focus on what I can. Catching onto this MFP. :wink:

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