Cleanse ideas - realistic ones

capnrus789

Pee, poop, brush your teeth and take a shower.

What if I can't poop???

I don't believe that statement. Not for a second.

ninerbuff

A pound of prunes and a gallon of water should do it .

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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capnrus789

Also, let your liver and kidneys do the job they were designed to do. Cleanse achieved.

DeltaZero

2 gallons of ice cream and/or milk a day.

That should do the trick.

1 gallon a day if you are lactose intolerant.

IPAkiller

Try this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttC7KbE_uDo

odusgolp

Pee, poop, brush your teeth and take a shower.

What if I can't poop???

I don't believe that statement. Not for a second.

Junken_Diraffe

navyrigger46

A few drops of VVL800 machine oil in a glass of water. The effects should last about 36 hours and I guarantee it'll be the most effective cleanse you'll ever try. Just keep plenty of soft TP on hand and don't venture too far from a toilet.

Rigger

MiloBloom83

KFC has ever let me down. Harlan Sanders developed the master cleanse. Pizza Hut is a close second.

MiloBloom83

How YOU doin'?

BrainyBurro

FerretBuellerr

If you really want to reconnect with food, I'd suggest going (oh please forgive me for saying the word) "clean" Veggies, fruits, unprocessed, lean meats and see how that makes you feel. I really can't support a cleanse although I sometimes fast for spiritual reasons.

This^^ try eating super clean and avoid salt and make extra sure you get your water.

I know "clean eaters" get a really bad rep on here, but I would suggest the exact same thing. Cutting out almost all pre-packaged, overly-refined/processed and convienience foods and making what I can from scratch really made me feel a big change in my body, and now when I do have a day of fast-food indulgence I feel kinda gross afterwards...like greasy poops type of gross.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Pee, poop, brush your teeth and take a shower.

What if I can't poop???

That's not a problem for you. Unless your question was truncated. Maybe you meant to ask "What if I can't poop at approprite times?" Yeah. That seems better.

hellsbell

"Cleanses" and "detoxes" are just new words for what used to be called crash diets, and they work about as well. But if it's just the case that you have indulged in a lot of rich food recently and feel a bit bloated and unwell you could try cutting out all sugary food for a week, as well as very oily/heavy food. For about 10 days after last Christmas' blowout I ate plain yoghurt, soup made with a lot of dark green veggies thrown in, plain crackers and a few hard boiled eggs so I could start to feel normal again quick. I also took brewer's yeast but WARNING: do not do this if you are going to be around people, in case it turns you into a biological weapon.

While this approach may not actually give you more physical energy, you'll be able to smell an open packet of M&Ms from 50 yards away. Mentally you'll feel like you're on fire!

SideSteel

^ This owns.

odusgolp

Pee, poop, brush your teeth and take a shower.

What if I can't poop???

That's not a problem for you. Unless your question was truncated. Maybe you meant to ask "What if I can't poop at approprite times?" Yeah. That seems better.

redheaddee

Tequila and Taco Bell.

For the win.

eileen0515

Granny says, Castor Oil. Crazy cousin Kenny, says smoke some weed.

FoxyLifter

RIP CORD!!