Addicts?

MisterDerpington

Just trying to find some support in a time of relapsing. Not going to say what my addiction is, but it's not the normal I guess. And when I say addiction, I mean addiction. Not "I'm addicted to Doctor Who." I mean life ruining addiction. This probably isn't the greatest pace for this, but I'm kind of ashamed to go back to a 12-Step meeting. If anyone is up this late (or early) and wants to reply, feel free.

clarkeje1

have you tried an online support group or called a 24/7 crisis hotline? Might be a good place to start and could help if you feel ashamed, as you wouldn't have to face anyone in person, just over the phone or online. Let me know how it works out.

lauraspberry

I agree try finding an online support and dont be ashamed of admitting your addiction, it's the first step to getting better

Miffylou

Making the first step to change is always the hardest part. So don't be afraid to call one of the Support groups as they are there to help not to judge.

Don't leave it too long to make the change as life is here to be enjoyed.

healthlagom

I hate how people are telling you to call someone. three people telling you the same thing... i'd hate calling a hotline if I were in ur shoes but to each his own. it's important to realize you are supported, we all support you in your recovery! You'll face a lot of hurtful poos on this website but you'll also find supportive voices. It's so cliché but accepting judgement will help. Turning up to a meeting when you just want to hang your head and not deal with it, will help. For people to judge you on a serious addiction... It does not say anything about yourself or your person, it says something about how disgustingly judgmental they are. I think it's great you are starting the thoughts in motion to change something, albeit again. Personally, I would benefit from an actual meeting with people IRL... It's that accountability issue I feel I may benefit from.

alsom there are also some addiction/recovery forums, copious amounts... There are lovely and similar people on these websites who can totally relate. I had an issue and so I joined a forum and I didn't feel so alone. Here's some website you may find comforting to get rid of that illogical shame thing: www.soberrecovery.com/forums/, http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=56, www.recovery.org/forums/, www.smartrecovery.org/. I don't think there is any shame in ownership and acknowledgement of what is or what soon could be a serious issue, I think it brave.

clarkeje1

I hate how people are telling you to call someone. three people telling you the same thing... i'd hate calling a hotline if I were in ur shoes but to each his own. it's important to realize you are supported, we all support you in your recovery! You'll face a lot of hurtful poos on this website but you'll also find supportive voices. It's so cliché but accepting judgement will help. Turning up to a meeting when you just want to hang your head and not deal with it, will help. For people to judge you on a serious addiction... It does not say anything about yourself or your person, it says something about how disgustingly judgmental they are. I think it's great you are starting the thoughts in motion to change something, albeit again. Personally, I would benefit from an actual meeting with people IRL... It's that accountability issue I feel I may benefit from.

alsom there are also some addiction/recovery forums, copious amounts... There are lovely and similar people on these websites who can totally relate. I had an issue and so I joined a forum and I didn't feel so alone. Here's some website you may find comforting to get rid of that illogical shame thing: www.soberrecovery.com/forums/, http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=56, www.recovery.org/forums/, www.smartrecovery.org/. I don't think there is any shame in ownership and acknowledgement of what is or what soon could be a serious issue, I think it brave.

different things work for different people. you never know what will help you until you try it out.

clarkeje1

I hate how people are telling you to call someone. three people telling you the same thing... i'd hate calling a hotline if I were in ur shoes but to each his own. it's important to realize you are supported, we all support you in your recovery! You'll face a lot of hurtful poos on this website but you'll also find supportive voices. It's so cliché but accepting judgement will help. Turning up to a meeting when you just want to hang your head and not deal with it, will help. For people to judge you on a serious addiction... It does not say anything about yourself or your person, it says something about how disgustingly judgmental they are. I think it's great you are starting the thoughts in motion to change something, albeit again. Personally, I would benefit from an actual meeting with people IRL... It's that accountability issue I feel I may benefit from.

alsom there are also some addiction/recovery forums, copious amounts... There are lovely and similar people on these websites who can totally relate. I had an issue and so I joined a forum and I didn't feel so alone. Here's some website you may find comforting to get rid of that illogical shame thing: www.soberrecovery.com/forums/, http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=56, www.recovery.org/forums/, www.smartrecovery.org/. I don't think there is any shame in ownership and acknowledgement of what is or what soon could be a serious issue, I think it brave.

also only 2 people said call someone. we also said try online which you also agreed to.

lauraspberry

I hate how people are telling you to call someone. three people telling you the same thing... i'd hate calling a hotline if I were in ur shoes but to each his own. it's important to realize you are supported, we all support you in your recovery! You'll face a lot of hurtful poos on this website but you'll also find supportive voices. It's so cliché but accepting judgement will help. Turning up to a meeting when you just want to hang your head and not deal with it, will help. For people to judge you on a serious addiction... It does not say anything about yourself or your person, it says something about how disgustingly judgmental they are. I think it's great you are starting the thoughts in motion to change something, albeit again. Personally, I would benefit from an actual meeting with people IRL... It's that accountability issue I feel I may benefit from.

alsom there are also some addiction/recovery forums, copious amounts... There are lovely and similar people on these websites who can totally relate. I had an issue and so I joined a forum and I didn't feel so alone. Here's some website you may find comforting to get rid of that illogical shame thing: www.soberrecovery.com/forums/, http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=56, www.recovery.org/forums/, www.smartrecovery.org/. I don't think there is any shame in ownership and acknowledgement of what is or what soon could be a serious issue, I think it brave.

Well that was exactly my point, thank you very much LOL in online support groups he can actually learn from experiences of other people who has gone through the same. Even if I am studying Occupational Therapy I wouldn't even suggest a specific approach to this, I don't know what he is going through personally, people are different even if they are going through the same problems. What works for one may or may not work for another. There is a specific approach for everyone and treatments cannot be generalized, all I can offer to help is to share what I know. And I know that online support groups are a good start.

lauraspberry

also only 2 people said call someone. we also said try online which you also agreed to.

Spot on girl!


You don't have to put down other people's suggestions. Just offer yours, geez. And he may or may not be addicted to drugs. Addiction is not limited to use of drugs alone.

padams2359

Well, it does make it difficult when someone ask to be helped with something, and they are not will to say what it is. At least they didn't totally ignore him. I am not psychic, but I am guessing the bottle of Crown in the pic might be a good indication.

lauraspberry

Well let's not judge him shall we I dont blame him for not saying what it is exactly, he's half way through taking the first step because he's on here looking for people to talk to

LarryDUk

<<<<Is an addict. The last thing you want to do is avoid the meeting. Get your *kitten* there or call another addict.

Ophidion

Well the suggestions so far have been good from what I have skimmed over, I am not going to offer a lot of advice besides honesty is paramount...especially with yourself and others to a certain extent, you do not have to wear a sign around your neck advertising your addiction but it is difficult for others who are close to you to help if they are unable to trust you.

Good luck OP.

jimmmer

Get your *kitten* to a meeting.

taunto

If you have an addiction, then this is not the place. I love MFP and would love to tell you that it is, but seriously, it isn't. I am unsure what your addiction is but whatever it is, even if it is an eating disorder, this is just not the place. Seek professional help.

I have an incredibly addictive personality and have been addicted to gaming, smoking, SEX and many other things I don't care to share. Neither of those things I'd say MFP have the tools to help me with.

Good luck.

clarkeje1

Seek professional help.

This is your best option.

RachyLovesRattys

Hello there! I don't know if I can help much, but I come from a family that experienced this-

When my parents got together, my mother didn't know he was on methadone. When she found out, she figured, "Oh, well he's in treatment..." so she continued to support him in his "sobriety" and they got married and had me.

The honeymoon consisted of my dad binging on cocaine secretly (not too secretly!) in the hotel's casino and leaving my mom to count money in her pretty wedding lingerie.

Literally right as I was born, my father was in another room with a 19 year old from an NA meeting that he continually was screwing. Throughout my early life, my father was sneaking around, making a love nest with this 19 year old, and ignoring his responsibilities. Still, he was "sober."

Then, my father disappeared for 3 days. He worked (and still works!) for the US Postal Service and hadn't returned his truck that Friday...they found him at the end of 3 days passed out on a cocaine bender in his truck. Those were his other vices...heroin and cocaine, and alcohol.

My mom at the same time discovered he had been stealing our dishware and household appliances and had registered a new house at a new address with this girl.

When he came back, I **** you not, he only wanted to take his halloween dinosaur costume...didn't even want to say goodbye to me.

First birthday, I never saw him...years after that, it was always unsteady. He ended it with the 19 year old right after, and I had to put up with a bunch of sober, then relapsing girlfriends of his that I'd grow close with, then would disappear.

After sobriety, now my father constantly says that's all that matters. Yes, it does- but specifically he's not referring to sobriety, but rather his NA sponsees. All the other NA people can't stand him, because he never believes in victory. 25 days sober? My dad thinks you're pathetic...you'll never be "sober" in his eyes. He told me I didn't need a crappy cell phone in 6th grade when I started walking (FAR!) home alone to an empty house after my grandmother (my daytime caretaker much of my life) was diagnosed with debilitating paranoid schizophrenia and mood disorders. My mom said, "It's 20 bucks, if she's alone and falls or someone is following her...she can call someone" My dad said I don't need it...and said he wouldn't even have one, "if it wasn't for his sponsees". His sponsees possible relapse means more than his daughter's possible kidnapping. I was only 10 (and i'm under 5 foot as well...tiny thing)

At 17, after refusing to pay a hospital bill for me (it was $10 after insurance), I got a lawsuit and was served by the hospital...all because of my dad (my mom was just starting a new-well paying position and we had yet to have been added to the insurance), I told him I never wanted to see him again. I just stopped...all he ever did was preach to me about what he thinks is right (most of which is very wrong) and refuse to pay for any care of mine ever (not college, not my first car, not my medications, not my computer for school)


Anyway...long story short...I know you don't want that life. Whatever your goals are, I know you want anyone in your future to love you and find you a pleasure to be around. I'm sure, deep down, you already are a pleasure- despite your problem. I don't know your plans for the future, but I know you don't want your wife, children, co-workers, friends, to hate you.

Everyone hates my dad....first because he was an addict, then because of his view of sobriety. (I support NA/AA meetings...just not the "addict" way my dad takes them on. I have many friends that have found them very successful for them)

You need to get this out of your life. I know how hard it is, but you only have one life to use! You don't want to spend it in binges that never end well, sick days afterwards, failed relationships because of skewed priorities, and overall just not living to your potential. You deserve better than that, and those that love you deserve better too.

Find yourself. I discovered yoga when in an abusive relationship and it changed my life. Value yourself...your body. You are a beautiful person inside and out, and being here shows that you already want to do something good for YOU. Heal YOURSELF and heal your SOUL! You can't be healthy in your soul when you're guilty for your addiction, or under the influence of it.

I hope you find the peace you need in your life! Recovery is a long, windy road- Make your steps slow and methodical- but never look back!

lebaker310

OP- MFP isn't really the right place. Unfortunately public forums isn't the most comfortable place to talk about addiction. I really wish you the best of luck and hope you can get through it! Maybe try working out as an outlet. I know, It's the only thing that has kept me out of trouble and on track! Just remember that you deserve happiness and a healthy long life

Steph109876

I guess you could say I'm an addict. I'm here if you want to chat.

MisterDerpington

Alright, well thanks for your responses. I normally wouldn't post something so vague, but I've been on MFP for a while and didn't want to divulge details. It's not a substance or alcohol addiction actually. I do have a therapist, but I don't see him for a week. I do need to get into a meeting again. I just really needed to post something somewhere at the time because I was in a rut. Thanks for letting me go off topic here.

Cait_Sidhe

It's good to vent, even if cryptic. Being friends with the OP for some time, I have a good idea what this is about. Find someone to talk to. I know it's hard. Going through similar myself (keeping with the cryptic theme). Someday, things will work themselves out.