"The Surgery"

StephanyJDingman

I have a family member who had "the surgery" as he calls it and lost loads of weight. Kudos to him. At first I was really excited for him and inspired and now I am just down right annoyed. I'm not dissing anyone who has had or is having or is considering having "the surgery" or some form of weight loss alteration of your stomach. But it's not for me. And I am tired of hearing "have you considered "the surgery"? Or when I say "I'm not big enough to have the surgery", he snips back with "yes you are, people smaller than you have it all the time". That's not the point I am making when I say " I am not big enough" What I mean is I have not reached a size that has incapacitated me and caused me to need to turn to surgery. Yes, my weight loss has been a struggle. Yes it has been slow. I just started a walking/running program and am planning to run my first 5k in January, my first half marathon at the end of April. Yes it takes me 35 minutes to walk 1.69 miles.... however, I am proud of what I am accomplishing...at my pace. But no matter what I say, he still insists I should just buck up and have "the surgery".

I am proud of what he's accomplished ... I just wish he'd lay off "the surgery" talk whenever we are together. To me, and I know it's not for everyone, but that would be a last hope.... I haven't reached my "last hope". I don't plan on it. I plan to conquer it myself. "The Surgery" is one aid that I do not want to ever have to use. Again, not bashing those who have. We all utilize tools to help ourselves become our best, it's just not a tool for me and it hurts to continuously have it pushed on me, because it's almost as if the people around me have lost hope in me...

graceire

I don't think its that they've lost hope in you or don't think that you can't do it. I'm wondering if his constant harping is the fact that he knows you can do it without surgery, and for whatever reason seems to think that that will reflect badly upon him. He might have feelings of 'failure' for having to have the surgery, and not being able to remove the weight without it by just diet and exercise. If you can do it, maybe he thinks that others will then look to him and wonder why he couldn't.

A close friend of mine had gastric by-pass just a couple of months after I started losing weight. She blew by me in the amount of weight that she's lost. But, you know what, we care about each other and don't see this as a competition. We're proud of each others success, no matter what tools we've used to get there. Your family member is jealous--and that's an ugly thing to feel for someone you're supposed to care about.

I think that you're doing great! Continue with what you're doing, you'll get there! As for your family member, well, I tend to be blunt with people who are acting assholery towards me and would tell him to back the f$%@ off and to not mention it again, enjoy his 800 calories a day while you eat healthy and to leave you alone. But that's just me...

csmullins78

Have you ever noticed that when you've accomplished something, you want to share your success with others? Weight loss surgery is not for everyone, and those who have had it still have to struggle with re-gain after a few years (and some never reach their goal at all). It may seem easy, but it's not. I know quite a few people who've had some sort of weight loss surgery and still struggle with their weight.

Ultimately, he's probably just trying to be helpful and supportive. He's seeing the positive changes the weight loss is bringing to his life and he wants to share that with you. Maybe he really wants to see you meet your goals and this is the only way he knows how to help.