Feeling ugly and gross :(

briana12077

I know I'm doing this for health and long term reasons but what I want is my LOOKS to be better. I hate feeling ugly and I want immediate results so bad!!! I know that can't happen but how do you guys overcome these feelings when they happen and try to drag you down?

jennifer_417

One of the things nobody tells you about weight loss is that you have to have patience. Sure, we'd all love to see immediate results, but if you want to be healthy, and you want those results to last, it's going to take time, and it's going to take doing things the right way. Hang in there.

gomezeureka

I 've also experience of feeling ugly and gross, but then I realized it can't help make a change. Just be patient and persevere, as sooner or later we will reap what we sow. Just be strong and focus on losing weight. I am still adjusting now, but I believe everything will be better. You can have me as a friend and I'll help you to feel better. God bless!

FredSetToGetFit

I too struggle with this from time to time, but then I just remind myself that today is the FATTEST I will ever be again in my life. Take it one day at a time. You will get the body you want.

YesIAm17

You've already got some good advice here and will probably get some more.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is learn to love the way you look now... even if it's far from where you ultimately want to be.

As you keep moving forward and your body changes it is very possible that your mind will take time to catch up and be able to appreciate those changes.

Some people end up hating the way they look even after they reach their goals and I think in at least some cases it is because they spent so much time focusing on and reinforcing the idea that they hate the way they look from day 1, they've spent their entire journey burning the idea into their minds.

Do your best to start changing the way you see yourself now. Tell yourself a million times that you love the way you look. Tell this to yourself everyday and repeatedly throughout the day. Burn that idea into your mind while remaining committed to your journey and doing what produces the results you desire. Even if you just feel like you're lying to yourself at first, keep doing it, eventually it will sink in and you will have a much happier and healthier self image and that will actually make it easier to reach your goals.

Something along the lines of...
"I look good. I love the way I look. I am looking better and better everyday."

Adding some words to that about being healthy, exercising, eating right, etc, is also a very good idea.

ekalexm

Why is it that so many young people have low self esteem?? You're really pretty and look great so see weight loss as an added bonus.

Shreddingit84

Just keep at it!! I know it takes time this my second time! I knew it was gonna take time to feel my sexy! But it happen cuz I waited for the big picture!! Keep going you will feel so beautiful soon!! BTW You are not gross looking!

Swt3mari

One thing I learned is to love yourself no matter what. I know sometimes we look at very detail of our body and we don't like what we see but no one is perfect. No one is perfect! Try to learn to love your imperfections. Confidence in yourself will get you anywhere.

briana12077

Thanks for the advice and support guys. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way but inside my head its pretty lonesome. Sometimes I feel like I can't see the end, and I've back tracked so far and I want it so bad. I'm just trying to be patient and not feel bad about myself on the way. Unfortunately I've felt pretty bad about myself my whole life. I have to make an attitude change I guess.

Francl27

Tell yourself that in a year or two it will only be a bad memory. You're very pretty, by the way!

emeraldvssilver

I feel the exact same way! You're not alone trust me

I just imagine how great I'm gonna look when I'm at my goal weight and how fantastic I'm going to feel.

As the weight drops off people will start to notice and will start to congratulate you and when someone finally pops the 'Have you lost weight?' question you can puff up your chest, straighten your back and say "yes, yes I have and I don't I look flipping fabulous!"

Hang in there, sometimes you just need to get yourself from pound to pound before you start to feel different but you will eventually feel different I promise!

Good luck!!

ldrosophila

Youre young and beautiful try to love yourself now because you'll never be "perfect" enough for you. I used to walk into bathrooms and avoid the mirror because I thought I was going to see a monster. So many years wasted when instead of hating and cursing myself I should have been trying to find some love to take better care of myself and to appreciate the here and now. You'll have days like this, try not to let them bring you down because you are a beautiful worthwhile woman.

ldrosophila

Why is it that so many young people have low self esteem?? You're really pretty and look great so see weight loss as an added bonus.

I think it's because some of use dont learn how to self validate until we are older. We see so many false media representations of what we think is ideal. We dont realize acceptance leads to change and happiness.

Sarahnade42x

I 've also experience of feeling ugly and gross, but then I realized it can't help make a change. Just be patient and persevere, as sooner or later we will reap what we sow. Just be strong and focus on losing weight. I am still adjusting now, but I believe everything will be better. You can have me as a friend and I'll help you to feel better. God bless!

^This, exactly. I've been through it too and I'm still working on it. Just keep going
Also, I know it doesn't always sink in when you hear it from others, but you are very pretty!

emelia_

What makes someone pretty isn't losing a certain amount of weight or looking a certain way, but being comfortable in your own skin and presenting yourself to the world in a way that truly reflects the person you are! And don't feel gross, getting down on yourself doesn't help anyone, pick yourself back up again and realize the sooner you start to feel good about yourself (even with little slip-ups) the sooner you will realize how much positive thinking can impact how you see yourself.

ToFatT0B3S1ck

Trust me, losing the weight isn't going to make you feel any better about how pretty or ugly you think you are. You'll find something else that bothers you as you lose.

jamiecarol84

I too struggle with this from time to time, but then I just remind myself that today is the FATTEST I will ever be again in my life. Take it one day at a time. You will get the body you want.
[I like this! the fattest I will ever be ]

kandrews24

For the longest time, I would not spend money on new clothes or nails, etc. because I was saving those things for when I lost weight, but frankly I felt so ****ty about myself, I just kept gaining weight.

So I recently have been focusing on happiness and looking good and the result is that I feel good about myself and now I am able to focus on eating healthy and exercise!!!

In the past month I've had my hair done, wax, mani-ped, and bought a few new clothes. I still only have one pair of jeans because I hope to be in the smaller size soon, but that one pair looks good and makes me feel good.

So I suggest that you do the things that make you feel good about yourself. Shower and get all dolled up, go tan, paint nails, etc.

And frankly, you look beautiful!

karlospiklington

Try and focus on your whole identity, of which looks and weight are just one part. If you don't like the way you look right now, try to focus on the things you are good at, any skills you have like writing or playing an instrument for example. It's a good way to improve your self worth while you work on improving your body. Or you could take up a new hobby or skill which can make you feel like you accomplished something unrelated to weightloss.

Try not to measure your worth purely by your looks, you're more than that. If in doubt, listen to the Rocky themtune. You'll feel like a boss afterwards!

lisalsd1

Feeling ugly and gross is just that...a feeling. It isn't the truth.

You should focus on positive aspects that you like about yourself, don't dwell on negative thoughts. Just tell yourself you are hot everyday until you believe it. It works. My husband had to tell me to stop saying, "I'm hot!" and staring at my own butt in the mirror!

gmallan

I know it's hard but your self-worth shouldn't be based on the way you look. From looking at your profile pic, you're beautiful anyway but that's beside the point. Try writing down three things every day that you love/like about yourself. They can be looks-based but shouldn't all be. Try focusing on things that make you different or unique, skills, personality traits or things that make you interesting.

jamiem1102

Trust me, losing the weight isn't going to make you feel any better about how pretty or ugly you think you are. You'll find something else that bothers you as you lose.

Sad, but true. Thin doesn't equal Beautiful. It took me a long time to realize that.

myfitnesspalsavvy

I know I'm doing this for health and long term reasons but what I want is my LOOKS to be better. I hate feeling ugly and I want immediate results so bad!!! I know that can't happen but how do you guys overcome these feelings when they happen and try to drag you down?

You are very pretty, not at all ugly, so stop that!!

I understand though. When I was younger, I didn't even think about my health, I just wanted to be slim so I could look pretty. But really it was a vicious circle. It's better to do it for health. It actually makes you gain self-esteem when you do it that way because you are doing it for the good of your life, not for how you look to anyone else.

CNG223

You should do something for yourself, pamper yourself. Its amazing what getting your hair styled at a salon, or a pedicure or even a facial at home can do for you That's what I do when I'm having a down day. I get gussied up and pamper myself, go out with a girlfriend or even alone for a coffee. It makes all the difference! You are beautiful!

SuperCrsa

Ah I know this feeling, when I feel like this I try and change my mind to a positive attitude about myself.

I love this http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1118270-an-ode-to-thick-thighs-and-squishy-stomachs

unbreakablemoth

I pretty much want to hug "YesIam17" for the awesome advice--could not have said it better.

I am not saying I rock this aspect--but I agree with it 100%, and if you find that you cannot like yourself as you are enough to be happy day to day before the loss (and as he said--losing the weight doesn't mean you'll suddenly snap into a different state of mind about yourself), then consider seeking help about it.

I have gone through lots of stages (I am 32): there was the depressed kid stage, the angsty teen stage, the rebellious size-positive "No Lose" 20's stage--and in there I remember some moments of higher confidence--which is cool--but I am currently (admittedly) at a very low point which I am pulling myself out of, and I sought help recently. Sometimes we need help.

Your size cannot make you "ugly" or "gross." Those are messages from somewhere else.