Marijuana and fat...

astrampe

First of all, if this is you....



You posted your pic on the internet, along with your story about how you plan to fool prospective employers. Did ya post the same question on your Facebook page?

And, were you high when you made your profile, and said you were a female?

Good luck with the job search.

LOL this is funny...and sort of sad depending on what your "dream job" is...Hopefully not something where your high can endanger other people...

susieoj

I feel terrible for laughing while reading this but really. Really? Delete the thread, this is the internet, not the private internet, the internet that everyone can see! Save yourself lol and drink a lot of water and good luck.

SonicDeathMonkey80

Switch to meth and go into maintenance.

wannabpiper

So this is a bit in another direction, but typically you don't get tested until you get hired, and that typically takes a while for most jobs today. If you follow the advice many gave you already on this thread, you likely will be in a better position by the time you actually do get tested. It's unfortunate, but if you were a big drinker, the alcohol would leave your system quickly, but pot sticks around for a while.

healthymissfit

I've used fake pee for every job I've ever had that required drug testing. It's called QuixFix 2.0 and you can usually get it at your local headshop (or order it online) it comes in a little kit with the small flask like bottle of fake pee, a hand warmer, a rubberband, and a temperature strip on the bottle. It's fantastic, and there's no way to tell it's fake. However, if you'd like it out of your system quick, burning fat is the last thing you want to do. THAT'S when it'll take you 90 days to clear your system. THC stores in fat cells, burning them releases the THC and makes you restart the cleansing process. Good luck!

Stage14

1. The drinks do work, but only for a short window of time. And they're expensive (usually $30-$40 a pop for the ones that won't flag for dilution or goldenseal).

2. If the employer does a hair test (which is highly unlikely), OP is screwed anyway.

3. There is no real way to "speed up" your metabolism to the point of burning off 3 months worth of fat/calories in one month or less. It's just not possible. But as someone else said, THC isn't stored in fat cells so that part doesn't really matter. Stop smoking, drink a ton of water every day, and when you're ready to start applying , go get an at-home testing kit for THC to see if you're clear yet. You probably will be.

I believe this to be incorrect, THC is stored in fat cells. I stopped smoking for 3 months a long time ago, while losing weight, and failed a test once. So in my experience THC can be stored in fat cells

Actually it is an inactive metabolite of TCH that is stored. And you are correct, it is lipid soluble. I misspoke but my point is that burning body fat won't speed up the process of testing clean in any meaningful way.

UsedToBeHusky

1. The drinks do work, but only for a short window of time. And they're expensive (usually $30-$40 a pop for the ones that won't flag for dilution or goldenseal).

2. If the employer does a hair test (which is highly unlikely), OP is screwed anyway.

3. There is no real way to "speed up" your metabolism to the point of burning off 3 months worth of fat/calories in one month or less. It's just not possible. But as someone else said, THC isn't stored in fat cells so that part doesn't really matter. Stop smoking, drink a ton of water every day, and when you're ready to start applying , go get an at-home testing kit for THC to see if you're clear yet. You probably will be.

I believe this to be incorrect, THC is stored in fat cells. I stopped smoking for 3 months a long time ago, while losing weight, and failed a test once. So in my experience THC can be stored in fat cells

It's stored in the fatty cells in the liver. Their purpose is to capture toxins and expel them from the body. It is NOT stored in body fat. If your body is having trouble expelling toxins, then they have a tendency to linger a little longer.

aimeev2

I feel like I have learned so much here today! I always wondered how people got around drug testing, and now I do.

But seriously, yes, just delete this whole thread and profile. If a company is drug testing and I assume you're going for a higher-level job since you mention a Master's degree, they have the resources and wherewithal to do a social media search on you. That will be way more detrimental to you than some herb in your wee.

teerae326

I have passed multiple drug tests with synthetic urine. It's easy to use, easy to conceal. No crazy amount of "flushing" required.

bizco

Those drinks or 'flushing agents' don't work.

Yes they do. I passed an employment urine drug test after drinking one and I was a fairly heavy pot smoker.

I_Will_End_You

My boyfriend is overweight, and when he had to be tested, he just drank a ton of water, and took a bunch of vitamins the week beforehand. We bought some drug tests off of Ebay so that he could test and make sure he was clean the day before. Worked every time. He didn't smoke every day, though, it will probably take you longer to clear your system. I would suggest getting the home tests. They're only like, $10 for several of them.

tesha_chandler

Drinking water will boost your metabolism and it should help clear it out.. You can buy tests at WalMart and drug stores to see if it is out of your system yet. Good luck.

ThirdEyeOpen

A few things for ya....

-Exercise & sweat out as much as possible (sitting in saunas actually helps too)

-Its suuuuuuper gross but taking a shot of vinegar a day should help clean you out as well
-And for every bottle of water you drink, drink 2 bottles of straight cranberry juice.

Good luck doll & iv got my fingers crossed for ya (^_^):smokin:

Thumper2002

Not judging you bro, but you may have to just suckit up.
This is the world we live in as adults. We may not agree but the man with the gold....
Good luck, hope it all works out for you.:glasses:

carrieo888

While in theory I have no problem with folks who smoke (tobacco or marijuana), I do have issue with folks attempting to pass it off as healthy, ever. Putting anything other than oxygen in your lungs is not healthy. Period.

Yes, there are medical benefits, and I have no issue with that. But I do find a whole lotta folks making up medical issues and self-medicating. Not healthy.

And even though I'm in a state where it is legal both medically and recreationally, it is still illegal on the Federal level. So take care.

As my dad used to say, you can do anything you want to, as long as you are willing to accept the consequences, good and bad. You are choosing to use an illegal substance, and therefore your job opportunities may be limited. Stop using and have more opportunities, or don't and have fewer. Ultimately, it's up to you.

I_Will_End_You

While in theory I have no problem with folks who smoke (tobacco or marijuana), I do have issue with folks attempting to pass it off as healthy, ever. Putting anything other than oxygen in your lungs is not healthy. Period.

What about people who eat it? :huh:

ldrosophila

I do agree though take off everything that has to do with your love of the herb!!! The federal government still recognizes it as a schedule I illegal substance, and most companies do not want to hire what they consider drug users. We live in a teetotaler country never post any of that stuff on social network.

Dont give the herbalists out there a bad name...jeesh.

carrieo888

, just delete this whole thread and profile.

As an IT geek, I can tell you this is bad advice. Once it's on the interwebs, it's forever on the interwebs. You can delete, but copies exist and are searchable (for those who know how, and perspective employees do know how).

ldrosophila

1. The drinks do work, but only for a short window of time. And they're expensive (usually $30-$40 a pop for the ones that won't flag for dilution or goldenseal).

2. If the employer does a hair test (which is highly unlikely), OP is screwed anyway.

3. There is no real way to "speed up" your metabolism to the point of burning off 3 months worth of fat/calories in one month or less. It's just not possible. But as someone else said, THC isn't stored in fat cells so that part doesn't really matter. Stop smoking, drink a ton of water every day, and when you're ready to start applying , go get an at-home testing kit for THC to see if you're clear yet. You probably will be.

I believe this to be incorrect, THC is stored in fat cells. I stopped smoking for 3 months a long time ago, while losing weight, and failed a test once. So in my experience THC can be stored in fat cells

It's stored in the fatty cells in the liver. Their purpose is to capture toxins and expel them from the body. It is NOT stored in body fat. If your body is having trouble expelling toxins, then they have a tendency to linger a little longer.

I was almost positive it was stored in the liver and adipose cells, but I'm not about to look it up, LOL

carrieo888

While in theory I have no problem with folks who smoke (tobacco or marijuana), I do have issue with folks attempting to pass it off as healthy, ever. Putting anything other than oxygen in your lungs is not healthy. Period.

What about people who eat it? :huh:

OK, well you aren't putting it in your lungs then are you? That said, I do think self-medicating is not healthy and if you're on MFP you are presumably trying to live a healthier life style. I simply think it's unhealthy. If you want to use, use. But don't try to convince me that it is good for the average healthy person to use.

astrampe

I have passed multiple drug tests with synthetic urine. It's easy to use, easy to conceal. No crazy amount of "flushing" required.

WOW - this is the third person admitting to committing fraud on an open internet site...I suppose it's true that pot destroys brain cells.... :bigsmile: :huh:

ThinLizzie0802

Uh, no. it works. From personal experience of.being a heavy smoker. Dont believe everythong you hear or.read

They don't remove the chemicals from your fat. They just mask and dilute.

My bf, who is 6'2 and 260 lbs of blubber, was able to test clean after 45 days of not smoking and no change to his daily habits. The only exercise he gets is the occasional romp through the dog park and using his thumbs to twiddle the joystick of an xbox controller.

Hit it hard for 30 days and buy an at home test, but make sure you buy a ten panel as most employers will do a ten panel for a urine test. They will test for prescription pain killers and anxiety meds as well.

Briko3

Agree with the above poster. Do what you can to lose weight and be healthy and drink a lot of fluids. ABOVE ALL ELSE, test yourself before you apply to make sure you're clear.

zombilishious

They sell temperature controlled urine in the parking lots of methadone clinics......

RllyGudTweetr

While in theory I have no problem with folks who smoke (tobacco or marijuana), I do have issue with folks attempting to pass it off as healthy, ever. Putting anything other than oxygen in your lungs is not healthy. Period.

You're aware that oxygen is a minority element in the atmosphere compared to nitrogen, and that the air you breathe also contains argon, water vapor, carbon dioxide, helium, neon, xenon, and krypton, right? You're also aware that breathing pure oxygen is fatal at normal atmospheric pressures?

eileen0515

Never, ever post anything on the internet, you would not like your partner, children, employers or law enforcement to see. Seriously it is stuuuupid.

Jerrypeoples

Uh, no. it works. From personal experience of.being a heavy smoker. Dont believe everythong you hear or.read

so you better not believe this(^) then....

i cant believe there are so many people willing to admit publicly that they lie(d) to get a job or keep their job. you people are pretty low.

carrieo888

While in theory I have no problem with folks who smoke (tobacco or marijuana), I do have issue with folks attempting to pass it off as healthy, ever. Putting anything other than oxygen in your lungs is not healthy. Period.

You're aware that oxygen is a minority element in the atmosphere compared to nitrogen, and that the air you breathe also contains argon, water vapor, carbon dioxide, helium, neon, xenon, and krypton, right? You're also aware that breathing pure oxygen is fatal at normal atmospheric pressures?

I will respond In much the same way I do when I tell my teenaged son to unload the dishwasher, and he puts all the dishes on the counter instead of their respective places because he says I did not specify where each item should be put away: You understood my phrasing.

Sunshine2plus2

Those drinks dont work. Stop smoking and start exercising and eating better! Good luck!

RllyGudTweetr

While in theory I have no problem with folks who smoke (tobacco or marijuana), I do have issue with folks attempting to pass it off as healthy, ever. Putting anything other than oxygen in your lungs is not healthy. Period.

You're aware that oxygen is a minority element in the atmosphere compared to nitrogen, and that the air you breathe also contains argon, water vapor, carbon dioxide, helium, neon, xenon, and krypton, right? You're also aware that breathing pure oxygen is fatal at normal atmospheric pressures?

I will respond In much the same way I do when I tell my teenaged son to unload the dishwasher, and he puts all the dishes on the counter instead of their respective places because he says I did not specify where each item should be put away: You understood my phrasing.

I will respond by indicating the two situations are far from clearly analogous. I have no knowledge of your personal habits, such as whether you're well-versed in environmental sciences, or choose to sleep in an oxygen tent.