"Coping" with being thinner

lindustum

Hello everyone,

I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts that I have had in the past 3 weeks which might seem counter-intuitive. I wasn't obese or severely overweight to begin with; but I have hit my goal since I started in August.

It actually scares me a little bit being "thin". I am not "thin", I lift weights and have a sporty body, and my belly is still far from retreating from the front lines. But I feel thin. For example, when I press my legs together, my knees meet before my thighs do. This is the first time in my life this has happened. I can feel a lot more bones when I lie down, for example my pelvis.

Or standing sideways looking in the mirror and my body is making a smooth curve rather than legs-wobble wobble. It is really nice, but it really takes me some time to adjust. I don't find it "intuitive" to prefer my thinner self over my chubbier one.

Does anyone have similar experiences, perhaps after even larger weight losses?
(btw, HW: 194, SW: 152, CW: 138, 5'6)

casy84

I had problems shopping for new clothes. I always picked a size or two bigger and had a nice surprise in the fitting room.

hol_lou85

ive currently lost 129lbs and i still have a few more left to drop and i am MUCH thinner compared to what i was, but i am not thin, i know in my mind i still see myself the size i was and i think one day it will catch up with me, but it doesnt help when "friends" say im too thin and looking gaunt, when in actual fact i am now just the same size as them.

kgeyser

I'm not losing weight yet, but I have had a similar feeling after giving birth to my kids. It definitely takes some adjusting. It is pretty cool to see all your muscles, feel your hipbones, and see your muscle movement as you move. At least I find it cool, that's why I really like weight training.

jfauci

It definitely takes getting used to. I am finally feeling comfortable in my new body. But, I am really uncomfortable when others comment on how I look (even if it's a compliment). Some people say "oh, you look great" and others tell me I am too thin. Either way, I would prefer that nobody say anything.

I too felt like I fit in a little more when I was chubbier, but no way am i going back there.

DrMAvDPhD

Your knees touch before your thighs? Huh, that would feel weird lol.

But in all seriousness, I get what you are saying. I am the same way. I was never "obese", I was actually only ~5 pounds into the "overweight" category at my highest. Every once in a while, I will try to put on something I haven't managed to get rid of from my heavy days because I like it so much, only to be shocked at how huge it is on me.

I'm sure it'll get better with time.

lindustum

Your knees touch before your thighs? Huh, that would feel weird lol.

Well obviously my thighs meet, but now there is a little gap half-way down when I press my knees together (not lying down). For all I can remember, I had always ALL parts of my leg meet. If that makes any sense, lol

Thank you for your responses. I haven't been clothes shopping yet, still running around in oversized stuff. I just can't get over it yet

cuinboston2014

When I started losing the majority of my weight (I lost 100 lbs a few years ago) I was feeling great.

When I settled in at my current weight range - which was never meant to be permanent - around 185 - it's been awful.

Like another poster commented, I almost felt like I fit in better before. Even if I was just the "fat friend" I guess I was OK with that. Now, even 2-3 years after losing weight I still feel out of place with my new body.

Which is why now I'm working hard again to get down to my goal weight that I never intended to stop aiming for before.

What really helps me is the reminders that even if I'm not happy with myself now, my body is still strong. When I'm out for a long run I always tell myself t hat my legs are strong and they will carry me through. I couldn't have run that far/fast when I was 100 pounds heavier.

People get used to seeing you a certain way. When you change, it's hard for them to really grasp your true size - as it is hard for you to grasp your true size.

I HATE when people say anything like "You want to lose how much weight?" Or "you'll be too skinny" or "you already look good" well thanks for the backhanded compliments???? IDK it's rude.

emilyisbonkers

hey we have the same height, start weight, and current weight
so, i have noticed, it is now painful for me to lay on my side, i feel my hip bones a lot more, and my boobs feel a lot smaller. i do feel a lot different to how i did before

stealthq

I think the feeling of not fitting in quite as well is normal. Remember, your friends and family will go through the same adjustment to the new you as you will. If you're not over being surprised by your new body, they're probably not either. They look at you differently and you notice, making you uncomfortable. Sometimes that surprise sparks some jealousy, or comments that unintentionally come out in hurtful ways. "You're getting too thin" is a good example - I've gotten that one even when I have practically the same stats as the person commenting - and trust me, she doesn't think of herself as too thin

But don't worry, it'll pass. For you and for your friends (at least your real friends). Eventually none of you will really think about how much weight you lost, it'll just be who you are.

ldrosophila

when i lost +100lbs about a little over 10 years ago I got scared. There are changes that no one prepares you for, and I guess no one really can.

The attention was the biggest scare. I didnt expect it nor how to deal with it. It also made me angry that now I was some how more worthy, and I ate back the weight in sort of a defiance.

I wish I had known then and maybe talked to someone to help with the feelings of insecurity and anger. Maybe I wouldnt have gained it back.

crash_aly

I have been dealing with family saying I shouldn't lose any more weight and people saying I will be to thin and all of that nonsense as well. I just smile and assure them that I do eat and I am doing things the healthy way. It always makes me smile when they end up asking what I do and wanting advice in the end!

I try to pick out things that have changed with my body on a regular basis and appreciate it! That way my mind stays closer to the same level as my body. Plus this helps me from only focusing on the negative/things I still want to change.

My biggest issue is clothes. I do still tend to pick larger sizes than I actually need but that's never a bad feeling in the dressing room! I am pretty pear shaped so my bottom half hasn't changed as much in size but my tops have gotten much looser! I also notice more muscle definition when weight training and enjoy seeing it.

I make sure that I take compliments gracefully, smile and say thank you. I have worked hard to get my body where it is at and there is no shame in being happy about it. Can it be awkward? Yes. I had someone ask me at a large gathering "You've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you, haven't you?" in front of my new boyfriend and several close friends. I find shame in the fact that I had gained weight, not that I have lost it. But the latter doesn't come without the former for many of us.

Just stay positive and don't be put off by compliments! You did this to look and feel good, people are bound to notice and the better you become at accepting it the less awkward each encounter will be.

bumblebreezy91

Even when I wasn't as heavy as a felt, I had "fat brain." So when I do get to my goal, I am afraid it will take me a long time to understand my body at a new weight. I'm so accustomed to apologizing for my body the way it is, I lost 20 pounds one summer and it never registered and I gained it all back. I don't want to have "fat brain" at 130-135 pounds after all of that hard work!

I'm glad this was posted! I'm excited to see more responses!