A serious question about humour

FatHuMan1
FatHuMan1 Posts: 1,028 Member
in Chit-Chat
When you ask a woman what she looks for in a man, a large percentage of them include "sense of humour" in their list. Often times it's at the top of the list, along with confidence, intelligence, looks, strength, and maybe a few others. Now, from an evolutionary standpoint I understand why women would be attracted to those other personality traits. They all, in some way or another, either offer security ( confidence, intelligence, strength) or is a sign of health (looks, strength, etc), thereby increasing the odds of propagating the species and carrying on their lineage. But what does humour bring to the table, other than the occasional laugh and smile. Why is it such an attractive trait. To women specifically, as I would posit that, although still attractive, it is not as high on a list of desirable qualities that men look for in a mate?
Any theories? If there are any sociologists on the boards I would especially be interested in hearing your opinions.
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Replies

  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,646 Member
    There's a reason what they're attracted to changes with their hormones (statistically speaking)
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    Because with humor you can communicate your feelings without either party being butthurt. Butthurt sucks, from both sides. Butthurt = bad relationships = b'bye "love".
  • InForBacon
    InForBacon Posts: 1,508 Member
    I don't want someone with a sense of humor. I'm serious 100% of the time and need a man that is exactly the same.
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  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    It makes people feel comfortable and at ease. Laughter is a great stress reliever. Taking things too seriously is often a problem for women and it's nice to have a man who can give a lighter view at times. Not all the time. But sometimes.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Cause sitting around the fire at night, gnawing on your wilder beast leg, nursing the baby, listening to the wild hyenas, and looking at stars all night gets boring.

    We expect the man to provide for many things in the relationship including entertainment. Plus, I think it goes back to an intelligence, social hierarchy thing.
  • SugarBaby71
    SugarBaby71 Posts: 3,630 Member
    You need a sense of humor for dealing with polar mood swings.
    Also, have you never laughed during sex??? If you haven't, make her laugh -you'll get it. :bigsmile:
  • LLT57
    LLT57 Posts: 21
    Just from a personal point of view because I wouldn't want to be stuck with someone who would take themselves too seriously and be a miserable so and so. I like someone who can do "second degree" humour ie not take things too literally.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Because with humor you can communicate your feelings without either party being butthurt. Butthurt sucks, from both sides. Butthurt = bad relationships = b'bye "love".

    This exactly. My husband teases and makes fun of me all the time, but it's in all in good fun because he does it in a way that makes me laugh.

    It's good to note though, that it's important for a guy to have a sense of humor that doesn't get stale through the years. Keeping the jokes fresh are key. After 5 years of being together, my husband never ceases to amaze me with some of the things that come out of his mouth. :laugh:
  • sassypants0923
    sassypants0923 Posts: 7,188 Member
    Because if you make me laugh you instantly become more attractive.. and let's face it, as we age our looks will fade, but we can always laugh together.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    But what does humour bring to the table, other than the occasional laugh and smile.

    I find people who have a good sense of humor are more positive, easy going, able to handle difficulties well, and generally are just more fun to be around.

    Laughing is known to be some of the best medicine for life.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    Just an FYI ladies: if you ask man what he looks for in a woman and he doesn't reply, "my penis", he's lying. Anything else you can offer is just a bonus.

    If a guy told me this, I would laugh heartily and give him my number! You know, if I wasn't already married. Hehe.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    Humor, now that's funny!!!
  • OllyReeves
    OllyReeves Posts: 579 Member
    Yes. In my experience, all women are looking for a guy with a good sense of humour. A good sense of humour wrapped up in George Clooney.

    Failing that a 9 inch sense of humour with good girth and a big head.
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    Yes. In my experience, all women are looking for a guy with a good sense of humour. A good sense of humour wrapped up in George Clooney.

    Failing that a 9 inch sense of humour with good girth and a big head.
    I don't find George Clooney attractive.
  • sassyrayofsunshine
    sassyrayofsunshine Posts: 499 Member
    Just an FYI ladies: if you ask man what he looks for in a woman and he doesn't reply, "my penis", he's lying. Anything else you can offer is just a bonus.

    for the win
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  • TheBackStory
    TheBackStory Posts: 263
    Laughter is a good thing. Think about it... I smile when I laugh, it's a genuine smile. When a person smiles, they are usually happy. Who doesn't want to feel happiness?
  • Synchronicity
    Synchronicity Posts: 82 Member
    Going out on a crazy limb here... but propagating the species/survival of the fittest requires a mate that isn't going to kill me before we can reproduce :) If he (we) can laugh at the ups and downs in life, both at each other and at the insane little beings we're bringing into the world... well, I figure that ups my odds of passing on those genetics.

    Did you read about that lion at the zoo? Lioness must have made some bad joke and he forgot how to laugh. :(
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Pretty sure they've proven that being happy is good for your health.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.

    I have a hell of a sense of humor, but except for the small percentage of women that are attracted to the "biker" look, they are not interested in me at first glance. It doesn't matter -- I'm married, but, I just had this conversation with my wife. In front of my daughter.

    My wife keeps insisting how attracted her friends are to me, but I keep telling her it's because they appreciate the way I treat my wife. She doesn't get that and it irritates her that I just can't agree that her friends find me attractive. On my daughter's advice, I just agree with my wife now and save having the whole conversation.

    If you are not already attractive, you may never get to demonstrate your sense of humor or other less visible attributes.
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
    Pretty sure they've proven that being happy is good for your health.

    ^ This and it is true a happy wife(woman), happy life. Make your woman smile and laugh and you will enjoy the benefits.:heart:
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    If he can make me laugh when I'm mad at him I probably won't kill him. My husband has a great sense of humor and it's been a lot of fun to be married to him. We've been together for 25 years total and experienced the good, bad and ugly. It was all much easier to get through with a man who makes me laugh and I have fun with.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Going out on a crazy limb here... but propagating the species/survival of the fittest requires a mate that isn't going to kill me before we can reproduce :)

    Meh, anyone can propagate. People with humor just make it enjoyable.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    I don't just look for a sense of humor. Hopefully, most people have some sort of sense of humor. I look for the same sick kind of humor I like, and he better be able to make me laugh my *kitten* off all. the. time. Nothing is sexier.

    <this guy has me snorting and close to pissing my pants every day.

    ETA: Having a good sense of humor can really shape the way you deal with bumps in the road. If you can laugh stuff off and view life as an adventure, then you are much more attractive as a life long mate. I've dated guys who let every little hiccup ruin their day, and it blows.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.

    Nope. Not everyone is completely driven by physical attraction.
  • FatHuMan1
    FatHuMan1 Posts: 1,028 Member
    You need a sense of humor for dealing with polar mood swings.
    Also, have you never laughed during sex??? If you haven't, make her laugh -you'll get it. :bigsmile:

    She's learned to stifle her laughter so as not to hurt my feelings.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.

    If you are not already attractive, you may never get to demonstrate your sense of humor or other less visible attributes.

    Depends on the circumstances. Sure if you are out at a bar and checking someone out from across the room, physical attractiveness comes first. But lets say you have are working or going to school with someone who doesn't have the physical traits you are generally attracted to but has an awesome sense of humor and is just a good person, then yeah, personality gets you an "in". Also beer and lack of options....
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    I am going to have to call bullshlt. Sure, everybody loves a sense of humor and a lot of other traits that are not visibly apparent, but that's not what gets you the first date. Women are attracted to whatever their definition of physical atractiveness is. Men are the same way.

    Nope. Not everyone is completely driven by physical attraction.

    Agreed. I met my man online and at first I really wasn't very interested. The more we talked, the more he made me laugh and by the time we actually met, I was totally hooked.
  • SF2514
    SF2514 Posts: 794 Member
    I say it because I want someone with a sense to match my own. I say a lot pretty off the wall stuff. It never occurs to me that it's taboo until it's too late. So I need someone who gets that and I can "let loose" around. Most people don't get my sense of humor so it's important to me to find someone who does or it just won't work lol.

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