The Secret of Self Control

PrettyAlaskan

I've been really thinking about the roots of my problem with food... I want a real solution. I'm sure it's all in my head and if I can solve what's going on in my head then maybe I can solve what's happening on the outside. It's all about self-control. Self control may not be as hard as it sounds though. Supposedly it's all about distraction and thinking ahead. Think about Odysseus when he tied himself to the mast of the ship to avoid being drawn to the sirens.

Anyways I found an interesting article that discusses self-control. The article discusses a test that psychologist Walter Mischel performed on 5 year old children. He studied the children's ability to control themselves with leaving a plate with a marshmallow on it. He told each child that if they waited 4 min while he left the room that they could have that marshmallow as well as an additional one. Later he discussed the ways that the children that waited were able to control themselves. Anyways it's an interesting and insightful read. Enjoy.

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/05/18/090518fa_fact_lehrer

litoria

Interesting article, thanks for that.
Have you read "we have met the enemy" by Daniel Akst (book)
also a great read...I recommend it

waltcote

It probably comes with practice and how bad we really want it. The reason I am here is to lose weight just like most folks here. The reasons are dependent on age, health, self image etc etc. For me I knew I had to lose weight for quite a while. I just needed a trigger to get me going. I like to say I hit my "bottom" just like an alcoholic does. Being put on a medication due to being fat was that bottom. Hence my self control is fueled by wanting it bad enough that I don't want to be on that medication for a long time so the work I have to do to get there helps my self control. It's different for everyone. So much for proper composition of english but ...

:bigsmile:

DeeDeeMee

Wow, that's a great article. I read a study recently that said that they've isolated a chemical in the brain that has an influence on our ability to delay immediate gratification in favour of a better outcome later. The study was talking primarily about alcohol and other addictions but it's applicable here. People with more of this regulating chemical in their brains are more easily able to say 'no' to an extra margarita now, because they don't want to feel crappy in the morning. People with less of the chemical (or more, I can't actually remember which way around it went) were more likely to drink up big now, even though they knew they'd feel like hammered s$#t in the morning. It works for things like financial planning too, not just food stuffs.

If you're looking for some practical advice, I've found that planning my meals (inc snacks) in advance and logging everything upfront in the mornings has helped me to stay on track and stay consistent. It's like setting out a meal plan for yourself every day. It also makes it easy to see where there might be a bit of leeway to have a cookie or something here and there, so you're not depriving yourself of the things you love (which only makes us want them more and the well balanced eating harder).

PrettyAlaskan

Thanks for your input! I will take all of your comments into consideration. Generally I don't like to think of the roots of my problems with weight to be in a chemical imbalance, because then I feel like it's out of my control But sometimes it is what it is. It could be and most likely is a mix of chemical imbalance and mental instability. I'm thinking one aggravates the other and thus the "vicious cycle" continues... All I know is that I don't want to give up on myself

I wish all of you the best of luck in reaching your goals!

PrettyAlaskan

Thank you litoria for the suggested read ( We Have Met the Enemy: Self-Control in an Age of Excess). I just wanted to add a link to the book on Amazon and include the description for everyone. I'm definitely going to read this one!

"More calories, sex, and intoxicants are more readily and privately available than at any time in memory. Pornography and gambling are now instantly and anonymously accessible to anyone with an Internet- connected computer. Trying to work? If so, chances are you're also struggling to resist the siren call of the Internet-to say nothing of the snack machine. As America's bulging waistlines can attest, mealtime is no longer a discrete part of the day, and our struggles with weight have never been more desperate. We Have Met the Enemy examines overeating, overspending, procrastination, wayward sexual attraction, and other everyday transgressions that bedevil modern society."

http://www.amazon.com/We-Have-Met-Enemy-Self-Control/dp/1594202818

RainaProske

I was writing a complaint to my sister regarding my own lack of self control, when I saw your title. I am struggling right now with eating enough, with eating at the right times, with eating the right foods, and with exercise. Perhaps, as I try to discipline myself, I can learn from you.

Iwishyouwell

I have extraordinary self control.

The thing is, even during the many years of struggling with my weight, and wicked "addiction" to sugar, I knew I had powerful self control. I had exercised it well in other areas of my life. It felt like something that was there, but I was having trouble accessing it. At times my self control was impeccable, at other times it seemed to be MIA. After I regained back all the weight I lost, and then some, I set upon losing it again. Yet I failed day after day, year after year, to wrest control of my eating. It baffled me.

Until a dawning moment happened. I was lying to myself. There was no confusion at all about why I supposedly lacked control. The bottom line was that my entire daily "struggle" to lose fat was an illusion, a big, fat lie. I DECIDED I wanted to eat without abandon. I would resist the temptation, go through all the motions of a struggle, than "lose" in the end. It was just a way to make myself feel better about the choices I was making. Afterall, who wants to admit they gave up without a fight?

I had to face the fact that every morsel of yummy goodness I put into my mouth I did so because I chose to put instant gratification above my mental and physical health. It was never, ever a true issue of self control. It was all a convenient lie that made me feel like I had at least put up some kind of fight. I was fat. I had let myself get fat again. I was angry and ashamed about that fact, and I chose to rebel against myself, to punish myself, by continuing to eat whatever I wanted.

When the pain of staying fat became more than I wanted to endure anymore, the self control issues vanished. I simply got to the breaking point where moving forward cost less than staying behind.