Would you chop off your own foot so you could run again?

thickerella

Seems a bit counter-intuitive, right?

So, 3 years ago I was in an accident that rearranged the bones in my foot and ensures that I am in pain any time I am standing or walking, that I can only walk short distances, and will never ever run again. Even if I could tolerate the pain, my toes will not bend so I literally just fall over when I try.

A few months ago I went to an event that I had been excited about going to ALL YEAR. It was a 4 day thing. Halfway through the first day I was in so much pain, even with my doctor prescribed percs, that I was completely incapacitated. By the time I got home I was literally crawling everywhere because I couldn't stand up.

The next day i broke out the MUCH LOATHED wheelchair in an attempt to salvage the event. It sucked. Much of where we were going was NOT wheelchair accessible or required going up enormous hills that were IMPOSSIBLE for me to get up.

I can walk. I have my foot, but I have lost a part of myself. The part of me that was active, adventurous, and did fun and exciting things. Now I measure EVERYTHING by how much pain it will cause.

Lately I have been looking at amputee athletes and I find myself feeling JEALOUS as absurd as that sounds. They can walk, they can run, they can even JUMP.

I want to do those things again!

There aren't a lot of other options for me medically. Three surgeons have already told me that what little they could do for me would only marginally help the pain.

So I'm considering amputation because I want my LIFE back.

Would you do it? Would you cut off your own foot so you could run again??

JoRocka

no question: yes.

good luck getting a surgeon to agree though.

unhgoose

I would.

pittbullgirl

I would, if it were an option. Take one part of my body away to make the rest of my body healthier- YUP!

Have you talked to your Drs about this even being an option?

cwolfman13

what about cycling or something that is less impact. I don't have anything nearly as severe as you do I suppose..but I have some messed up feet and can't run anymore without having to spend the next week or two on crutches or with my cane...but I've found a love of cycling and actually enjoy it far more than I enjoyed running I think. I can certainly cover a lot more ground and have been exploring some really wonderful trails lately.

WalkingAlong

No, I would take up swimming or something not painful.

Is there any guarantee an amputation will even mean pain-free running? I would be worried that running on a prosthesis would be just as painful. And that I'd have 'ghost pain' from the foot still.

I had a relative with terrible foot pain whom they did some sort of nerve-deadening shots on.

thickerella

what about cycling or something that is less impact. I don't have anything nearly as severe as you do I suppose..but I have some messed up feet and can't run anymore without having to spend the next week or two on crutches or with my cane...but I've found a love of cycling and actually enjoy it far more than I enjoyed running I think. I can certainly cover a lot more ground and have been exploring some really wonderful trails lately.

I actually HAVE taken up cycling. I love cycling. It is absolutely the best thing that I have done since the accident. If I could take my bike everywhere, I would. Unfortunately, that is not an option.

traceybarkworth73

no- i work for a disability benefit, the amount of amputees we have who suffer from phantom pain and recurrent abcesses-not an easy option x

AntiSocialyte

I would.

jwdieter

Nope. I've considered this as well, but the aesthetic and everyday consequences are highly negative. Embrace what you can do.

RoyBeck

Oh poor you what a horrible thing to be in so much pain

You should do whatever you feel is best. If you could live as an amputee for the rest of your life then I'd say yes. Good luck.

FrnkLft

Actually yeah, I mean if there aren't any other real options, I would totally cut the foot off.

Also, amputated limbs freak me out honestly, but just thinking about it now, having just a foot missing is not a big deal for me at all. Just in case you wanted that kind of perspective too.

ghiagirl893

It sounds like it really affects your life. I would remove it. After talking to my doctors and finding out the potential problems, and how long it would take to heal, and chances of pain remaining. I would hate having to give up hiking and such

thickerella

no- i work for a disability benefit, the amount of amputees we have who suffer from phantom pain and recurrent abcesses-not an easy option x

I would love to know more. Can I PM you? I really have trouble imagining that the pain I would feel as an amputee is worse than the pain I feel now, but I have a lot of questions. If there are downsides, I want to know.

My SO and I were researching ways I could do next year's event without the wheelchair.

http://www.especialneeds.com/images/D/meywalk-2000-gait-trainer-12.jpg

THIS "dignified" thing was the best we could come up with.

Am I really wrong for thinking THIS would be better?

http://dogbytesonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/11489004-945x735.jpg?f7148e

Also, check out THIS awesomeness!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_404h/2010-2019/Wires/Online/2013-11-08/AP/Images/Marathon High Heels.JPEG-0d4bb.jpg

PROSTHETIC HEELS! I could wear pretty shoes again!

thickerella

Oh poor you what a horrible thing to be in so much pain

You should do whatever you feel is best. If you could live as an amputee for the rest of your life then I'd say yes. Good luck.

Aww! What a sweetie you are! I'm really touched by your compassion and sincerity.

thickerella

Nope. I've considered this as well, but the aesthetic and everyday consequences are highly negative. Embrace what you can do.

Would you mind elaborating? At the moment I only see positives, but I imagine that my perspective is somewhat skewed. I would love to hear some rebuttal.

allaboutthecake

Similar instance....medicine has evolved...am sending you a PM....:flowerforyou:

thickerella

Similar instance....medicine has evolved...am sending you a PM....:flowerforyou:

Thanks!!

thickerella

I would, if it were an option. Take one part of my body away to make the rest of my body healthier- YUP!

Have you talked to your Drs about this even being an option?

The arch of my foot inverted and the bones are slowly crushing each other with every step. If I don't get a bone-fusion surgery, turning my foot into a solid slab of bone, I will eventually have to have it amputated anyway.

jwdieter

Nope. I've considered this as well, but the aesthetic and everyday consequences are highly negative. Embrace what you can do.

Would you mind elaborating? At the moment I only see positives, but I imagine that my perspective is somewhat skewed. I would love to hear some rebuttal.

Well, I can't run due to a chronic calf condition. Can walk, can bike, can lift, can do everything except run. After years of physical therapy. Since I spent the first 30 years of my life running and engaging in running sports, this situation led to some depression (as in, years of). The frustrating part, of course, is I could run if I cut my leg off below the knee. But what I'd gain (the ability to run), is for me not worth the every single day dealing with missing part of my leg, and needing a prosthetic for every activity I can currently do without a prosthetic. So I swept up the ashes of my former activities, and refocused on enjoying what I can still do. So I'm the strongest I've ever been, and happy when I look in the mirror. Good enough.

However, your situation is described as a bit more severe. If you're unable to even walk around or balance without severe pain, you're not talking about just wanting to run again, you're just going for basic functionality. You need equipment (?) to move around anyway. It's not that huge of a stretch concept. Still, don't think you'll be able to find anyone to cut your foot off, so you'll need to find a different solution. I'd still recommend figuring out what you can do physically, and trying to think positively toward those things. You can still be strong and beautiful, and that ain't bad. Best of luck.

castlerobber

Lately I have been looking at amputee athletes and I find myself feeling JEALOUS as absurd as that sounds. They can walk, they can run, they can even JUMP.

I want to do those things again!

There aren't a lot of other options for me medically. Three surgeons have already told me that what little they could do for me would only marginally help the pain.

So I'm considering amputation because I want my LIFE back.

I have read of someone who had an elective amputation like this. I think he's a doctor himself. He had been badly injured in an accident as a young man; they patched his foot and leg back together, but the foot was weak, and eventually could no longer handle his activity level--plus, like you, he was in a lot of pain.

His surgeon was able to choose where to make the cut for the best result, and grafted a piece of bone in such a way as to strengthen the leg to handle the impact of running with a prosthesis. It took something like a year of healing before he could start running, and it was awkward for a long time after. But he finally was fitted for a prosthesis that worked well for him, and ended up being glad he'd done it.

What a decision to have to make...good luck to you, whatever you choose.

ETA: Googled a bit and found the story in an old Runner's World: http://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/life-and-limb?page=single

fleetzz

I am so sorry, I hope you find a solution that works for you.

I am never going to complain about running again.

billsica

People do it just to save on bills, so why not?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2454131/Chinese-man-amputates-leg-save-hospital-bills.html

FrnkLft

Nope. I've considered this as well, but the aesthetic and everyday consequences are highly negative. Embrace what you can do.

Well naturally, this is a very personal choice. But for what it's worth, I wouldn't mind at all, a woman whose foot was amputated. And generally amputations DO bother me, they just freak me out.

zyxst

No, but I hate running.

jessgumkowski88

It's a horribly hard decision to make. And I can't even imagine how strong you must be to push through that pain every day

My personal opinion is, comfort and quality of life is more important than anything. If amputation will make your quality of life better, it's worth it. I would NEVER want to be dragging myself around, and I'm so sorry you've had to for so long. I've had some serious injuries where I've had to do that for maybe a couple days, and the feeling of helplessness is unbearable.

Nobody knows how hard things are til they have their independence taken away from them. Having to ask for help with simple things, or avoid others because you know you can't do them alone.

Do what makes your life better, I'm sure you have an amazing support system, if you're considering this option so highly, and you seem like a strong woman so I'm sure you'll have a swift recovery!

willdob3

To run, no. To be able to walk and stand without pain, yes, I might.

I'm very sorry you're in pain & that your situation has you needing to consider this. I hope you find a solution that gives you your life bck.

BrianSharpe

Very tough question.......I'd certainly look into it and assuming a suitable prosthetic was available would consider it closely. Not a choice I hope I ever have to make, I hope things work out for you.

jimmmer

Very tough question.......I'd certainly look into it and assuming a suitable prosthetic was available would consider it closely. Not a choice I hope I ever have to make, I hope things work out for you.

Agreed.

As a massively active person, I find your current situation scary, but the thought of lopping off a limb and hoping I would still be able to be as active as I previously was is, quite frankly, scary too.

Another factor here is that your foot is continuing to deteriorate and will need further surgical work that will leave it, in effect, less useful to you. If it wasn't for this, you could perhaps find an accommodation with your foot as it is and just enjoy new activities and let go of your old ones.

A genuinely tough situation which ever way you look at it and hard to know if there's such a thing as a right answer.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Swiftdogs

My sympathies - what a difficult dilemma! I would encourage you to talk to some amputees. I know a little from a dear friend. He could only stand to wear his prosthesis for very short periods of time. The technology is much better now, and constantly evolving. But for every amputee athlete, there are others who struggle with daily living. I wish you the best, whichever way you decide.

rachel4304

My mother lost her foot (diabetes.) She has terrible problems with phantom pain.. sometimes incapacitating and its been several years. She goes through several prosthetics a year due to changing in length of her leg. Sometimes she cannot use her prosthesis due to it being painful. She hates having to constantly wear shoes due to the length discrepancy. She avoids social situations now. She refuses to wear dresses or shorts now due to staring.

My advice... talk to actual amputees. Find out what its really like before you make such a drastic life change. Good luck.