Significant Other Health Habits

yumesoraki

So my SO and I have been seriously dating for over 6 years now, and have been living together for a year. I've been a generally healthy eater most of my life and for the past year my eating habits seem to have gotten worse, though recently have been getting back to where they were.

I feel that eating healthy is a really important aspect in my life. I enjoy learning about new foods and have a pretty open mind to trying new things and incorporating them into my diet. I make a lot of my own food, love vegetables, and eat junk or fast food items very sparingly.

My SO was raised as a "meat and potatoes" guy who eats out more than myself but, not the type of fresh things that I like to eat. He is also a very picky eater (hates most vegetables) to the point where most of the things I enjoy eating, he doesn't and the things he enjoys are just too heavy to eat. I find myself compromising to an extent, eating out with him more often that I would if I were on my own as well as making heavier foods. When I cook, I have a very limited amount of items I can make when we eat together. It also doesn't help that he barely cooks. We've discussed these things before, and he does try to "try" new foods that are healthier, but most of the time they just don't take (we've had 2 successes); he also greatly dislikes being mislead when it comes to food and has not eaten certain people's foods when he has found out.

I need some middle ground to work with. I don't want to have to make two meals for each of us, if I can avoid it, but I want to eat food that I like.

What do you all think?

ChaosLoveRage

I wouldn't make two meals....I think you guys need to talk about food choices and get him to at least TRY something. It may seem rude but, if I make a meal and my hubby doesn't like a part of it....he either doesn't eat that part OR he makes something else for himself. I refuse to make two meals.

Good for you for starting to get healthy again though! I hope this helps

jwdieter

he also greatly dislikes being mislead when it comes to food and has not eaten certain people's foods when he has found out.

Huh?

He sounds like a child. Good luck with that.

cwolfman13

For one thing, you may need to adjust your thinking as to what is "healthy"...I eat some kind of meat, poultry, or fish at every single meal every single day...and I also eat a lot of potatoes. There's nothing inherently unhealthy about "meat and potatoes." Keep in mind also that there is nothing inherently unhealthy or evil about eating at a restaurant...I've had plenty of healthful and wholsome meals at a restaurant. Further keep in mind that calories have nothing to do whatsoever with nutrition...just because something is calorie dense doesn't mean it's "unhealthy"...and conversely there are numerous low calorie foods that have little to no actual nutritional value. Lastly keep in mind that he is a dude...and dudes need to eat far more than you need to eat just to maintain their weight because we have much faster metabolisms. Don't nag him either...he'll just tune your right out...guaranteed.

ldula88

For one thing, you may need to adjust your thinking as to what is "healthy"...I eat some kind of meat, poultry, or fish at every single meal every single day...and I also eat a lot of potatoes. There's nothing inherently unhealthy about "meat and potatoes." Keep in mind also that there is nothing inherently unhealthy or evil about eating at a restaurant...I've had plenty of healthful and wholsome meals at a restaurant. Further keep in mind that calories have nothing to do whatsoever with nutrition...just because something is calorie dense doesn't mean it's "unhealthy"...and conversely there are numerous low calorie foods that have little to no actual nutritional value. Lastly keep in mind that he is a dude...and dudes need to eat far more than you need to eat just to maintain their weight because we have much faster metabolisms. Don't nag him either...he'll just tune your right out...guaranteed.

Definitely agree. There's nothing inherently unhealthy about a meat and potatoes diet, as long as there isn't a ton of processed junk food thrown in the mix. Also, when you compromise by eating out more than you normally would, order the healthy options and don't worry about what he's eating. Most places make a variety of awesome salads and "lighter-calorie" fare.

At home, you definitely should NOT have to cook two meals. Why exactly are you doing all the cooking? I get it that you're into it, and he's not, but you're most definitely not his mum, lol. Cooking for him because you enjoy it is one thing, cooking two meals because he won't eat what you've made is another entirely. If you can find a few common things you enjoy between the two of you, incorporate those as part of the meals you cook. That way he can eat what he likes from what you've prepared and throw a baked potato in the oven or broil himself a steak to finish off his meal. He's a grown man, and it isn't exactly difficult or time-consuming, I think he's well up to the challenge

Unknown

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Mr_Knight

he also greatly dislikes being mislead when it comes to food and has not eaten certain people's foods when he has found out.

Huh?

I have no idea what the specifics are in the OP's case, but I've been at "social functions" where the host would serve chicken dogs to vegetarians and lie about what they were. That's pretty not-cool.

3foldchord

he also greatly dislikes being mislead when it comes to food and has not eaten certain people's foods when he has found out.

Huh?

He sounds like a child. Good luck with that.

My husband was like that, too, until he hit 35 or so.
He tries more stuff now and will sometimes continue e eating something even of he finds out it does have something he things he shouldn't,t like.

Id make meals that have aspects we both like. Meat, potatoes, steamed veggies, fruit salad.... He eats mostly the meat and potatoes, I eat mostly the veggies and fruit. I actually eat more meat than he does now that I started liftng weights and need to get more protein.

kazsjourney

If he likes meat n mash why not eat the same for yourself and add veggies for yourself? When eating out there is plenty of appropriate options.

cafeaulait7

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to cook then, if you ask me. Don't be his mother; he's a growna$$ man.

I'd make him his favorite meal occasionally, don't get me wrong. (But I'd also expect him to make mine).

AlongCame_Molly

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to cook then, if you ask me. Don't be his mother; he's a growna$$ man.

I'd make him his favorite meal occasionally, don't get me wrong. (But I'd also expect him to make mine).

THIS!

gigglesinthesun

So my SO and I have been seriously dating for over 6 years now, and have been living together for a year. I've been a generally healthy eater most of my life and for the past year my eating habits seem to have gotten worse, though recently have been getting back to where they were.

I feel that eating healthy is a really important aspect in my life. I enjoy learning about new foods and have a pretty open mind to trying new things and incorporating them into my diet. I make a lot of my own food, love vegetables, and eat junk or fast food items very sparingly.

My SO was raised as a "meat and potatoes" guy who eats out more than myself but, not the type of fresh things that I like to eat. He is also a very picky eater (hates most vegetables) to the point where most of the things I enjoy eating, he doesn't and the things he enjoys are just too heavy to eat. I find myself compromising to an extent, eating out with him more often that I would if I were on my own as well as making heavier foods. When I cook, I have a very limited amount of items I can make when we eat together. It also doesn't help that he barely cooks. We've discussed these things before, and he does try to "try" new foods that are healthier, but most of the time they just don't take (we've had 2 successes); he also greatly dislikes being mislead when it comes to food and has not eaten certain people's foods when he has found out.

I need some middle ground to work with. I don't want to have to make two meals for each of us, if I can avoid it, but I want to eat food that I like.

What do you all think?

when did this board turn into relationship counselling :huh:

you are his SO not his MOTHER, you do not NEED to make him try anything, you NEED to eat your food, you HAVE to cook your food.

It is OPTIONAL that you provide food for him unless you have a reciprocal agreement wherein he provides something else, in which case you could cook double for each on alternate days i.e. Mondays you cook a meat pie, Tuesday you cook a veggie soup for yourself whilst he has the meat pie again, Wednesday you cook beef stroganoff for him whilst you have veggie soup, Thursday you have some pasta whilst he has the stroganoff ...

Overall you need to consider that people don't change thus he is going to be like this FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. What would happen if you decide to have kids? If you can live with this, fine, if this all annoys you beyond belief ... you have to make a choice. Don't sit there assuming you can change him into a different person. It rarely works out well for both parties.

RunningForeverMama

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to cook then, if you ask me. Don't be his mother; he's a growna$$ man.

I'd make him his favorite meal occasionally, don't get me wrong. (But I'd also expect him to make mine).

My thoughts exactly. Cook what you want, if he doesn't want any he can get himself something to eat. You shouldn't have to cook two meals and he shouldn't have to eat food he doesn't like.

ndj1979

whats wrong with meat and potatoes???

Also, you have been dating for six years and you just now noticed this??? LOL

ndj1979

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to cook then, if you ask me. Don't be his mother; he's a growna$$ man.

I'd make him his favorite meal occasionally, don't get me wrong. (But I'd also expect him to make mine).

why should he have to learn how to cook when she already does it?

cafeaulait7

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to cook then, if you ask me. Don't be his mother; he's a growna$$ man.

I'd make him his favorite meal occasionally, don't get me wrong. (But I'd also expect him to make mine).

why should he have to learn how to cook when she already does it?

Ha! Exactly. My ex decided that he liked more things than he said he did, after it was clear that the alternative was to cook and clean up the pans himself

RunningForeverMama

Sounds like someone needs to learn how to cook then, if you ask me. Don't be his mother; he's a growna$$ man.

I'd make him his favorite meal occasionally, don't get me wrong. (But I'd also expect him to make mine).

why should he have to learn how to cook when she already does it?

Ha! Exactly. My ex decided that he liked more things than he said he did, after it was clear that the alternative was to cook and clean up the pans himself

^^^ Yes! That's exactly how it's done. :laugh: :drinker:

spoiledpuppies

Have him make his own meal. My husband and I do that a lot actually.

arc8706

My husband and I are a little similar but reversed, I'm the picky one and the one who was raised on a "meat and potatoes" diet (although lately I've been working really hard to eat a mostly vegetarian diet and include other kinds of protein and more veggies to try to add variety).

Anyway, we don't really have a traditional husband/wife relationship where I do all the cooking. He likes to cook things too, and if I don't like what he makes I'll throw together something else or take out some leftovers (when you cook things only for yourself you usually end up with plenty of leftovers). Same with him, if I make a meal and it's too "redneck" for his tastes (I'm from Texas and he's from California lol) he will whip up something for himself instead. Neither of us make a big deal about it because it isn't a big deal, it's just food.

pickleducky

I have a SO who loves McDonald's. When I met him, I was eating a very clean diet with no flour, sugar or dairy. Needless to say, that changed... we moved in together and I gained about 50 pounds. I'm undoing that damage as we speak! I know I can't change him, so I cook for myself and if he likes it, he eats it, and if not, he makes himself something else, or orders food. I know that just like he's not responsible for my eating habits, I'm not responsible for his.

LessthanKris

My husband is similiar in that he hates almost all vegetables and fruits (I think it is a mental thing at this point). He does love to cook so he makes a meal or two a week. We have kids too so we make sure there is a veggie and he just takes a larger portion of the starch and meat. It actually works for me because I am less tempted to take more of the pasta/potatos since he eats more of it.

The one problem is he does not worry about healthy recipes too much. Again, he will add a veggie for us but sometimes the caloric punch his meals have only allow me a really small portion.

I would not make seperate meals. If anything, let him cook his own if you are making something he does not like.