I'm not one to ask for support much, but here it goes....

matchbox_girl

I'm struggling guys. I am really, really struggling. I am up 40 pounds in two years. Got married last month, was absolutely horrified when I saw the pics. Doc told me I may not be able to get pregnant with my weight, and it is just tearing me down. I want to be a firefighter, but at this rate the combat physical would give me a heart attack, and that depresses me so much, because I want it more than anything.

I do so well for about a week. I stay under my goal, lose a few pounds....then BAM. One bad night and it ruins EVERYTHING. Then I shoot back up in a few days. Fast food, cookies, popcorn, eating out....it's an addiction. I want in constantly! I know it should be as easy as, "If you really want it....."

I DO want it. I want it so much. But it feels equivalent to telling a meth addict, "Well, if you really want to be clean...."

UGH. Every day that I binge I simply think, "Tomorrow will be better." As if that gives me some kind of excuse. And then guess what? That "better" day turns into nothing more than the day before. And then I think again, "No more of this. TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER." But it rarely is.

I need help guys. I need advice. I need to know how you all stuck to your guns when all you wanted to do was say, "It's fine today, because tomorrow I'll do better."

Thanks for your help. I am just so frustrated. I have never been 240 pounds :-/

FindingMyPerfection

Your problem is tomorrow. The moment you feel like saying tomorrow will be better change it to this next moment will be better. Commit to this moment because it is the only one you have.

JeaninePaige

I said the same thing in the past and honestly it's an excuse. I hate to say it that way but you need some tough love. The only person that is accountable is you. If you want to change, you have to work hard and gain self control. Throw out or give away any junk that may tempt you. Replace with healthy options and track EVERYTHING you put into your mouth. Cut out sodas and other calorie-laden drinks that way you can eat more food. I used to say I hated water but now I love it. If you are a big fast food eater you have to cut it out NOW. I used to eat fast food up to four times a week. It was disgusting and I felt disgusting. I craved it all the time. After I stopped getting it I stopped craving it. Your body and mind will adapt if you give it all you've got and just do it. No excuses anymore. You have to tell yourself you are going to do it TODAY. Not tomorrow. Right now. This is a lifetime commitment. Treat it as such. You can do anything that you put your mind to. You will have ups and downs but every day you will be closer to your goals if you push for them.

jacky247

Your problem is tomorrow. The moment you feel like saying tomorrow will be better change it to this next moment will be better. Commit to this moment because it is the only one you have.

I agree...since you already know that "tomorrow" will end up being the same, try to think about the moment. Start now, not tomorrrow, remember a day at a time.

silverraiyne

Your problem is tomorrow. The moment you feel like saying tomorrow will be better change it to this next moment will be better. Commit to this moment because it is the only one you have.

I agree ^^^
Quit thinking you will do better tomorrow, you need to do better today. So what if you made one bad choice today, don't compound it by continuing to make bad choices for the rest of the day. That's like saying, "oh, I dropped my cell phone on the ground, guess I'll just stand here and stomp the hell out of it now"...doesn't make much sense. Stop using tomorrow as an excuse, hold yourself accountable to the decisions you make TODAY!

MaryJane_8810002

I always told myself I would never get married overweight so I kinda know how you feel. I am sure the pictures are lovely.

When you have a binge tomorrow may be too far away. Just stop, drink some water, go for a walk and move on.

SinomenJen

I couldn't handle "going on a diet" but I could make one itty bitty baby step at a time,, I started with a little change, I added water and started replacing the 6 to 7 sodas,, I did it one at a time,,then I started eating a better breakfast, one small step at a time,, then I started walking,, etc etc etc,,, if it seems overwhelming, break it down into small managable steps, at least that is what has worked for me.

matchbox_girl

Thank you guys :flowerforyou:

araromi2

Id venture to say your issues are deeper than food...eating is just the way it manifests.I'm not perfect and still struggle with my relationship with food.Id suggest you only change one thing at a time.So if its drink 10 cups of water a day ....work on that and they move to no more than one soda a day etc....ill add you

DanIsACyclingFool

Your problem is tomorrow. The moment you feel like saying tomorrow will be better change it to this next moment will be better. Commit to this moment because it is the only one you have.

^^ This

It's easy to put off things that we don't want to deal with, and every day put it off a little more. What's another day?

But if you always say "tomorrow", you never deal with it. Because we don't live in "tomorrow". We llive in "today".

Here's the really cool thing...once you reach out and take hold of what you planned to do "tomorrow" and actually DO IT "today", you will start to see changes. Not all at once, of course. It takes time to play out; it's a process. But they do come. A little NSV here, a pound or two there. That sometimes seems terribly slow, but it adds up, you know. And while it seems impossible to believe right now, the day will come, not even all that far off, when you'll be running around getting ready to go out and swish past the mirror and have to back up and do a double take. Because that pound or two here and there adds up.

You'll discover energy you never knew you had...and as your fitness improves your capacity for exercise will increase to levels you find laughable right now. You'll discover what a powerful ally having a little momentum is, and you won't cheat on your diet or skip your exercise because it's only cheating yourself. You'll discover a sense of self-worth you never knew about too, and a self-respect that will also keep you from straying too far from your plan. And for every goal you set and meet you'll be more and more confident, until you reach the point where you aren't at your goal yet, but are serene in the knowledge that you are going to get there.

Fall in love with the process. The results will come automatically. That firefighter test won't stand a chance.

One more thing: if you keep putting it off for "tomorrow", a year from now you'll be sitting there wishing you'd started "today".

Good luck.

themedalist

You've gotten a lot of good advice already. I just read your profile and passing the fire fighters' physical exam and having a healthy pregnancy are excellent motivations for losing weight and becoming fitter and healthier.

YOU have to make the changes and you have to do the heavy lifting (and honestly, lifting heavy IS a great idea ) I also believe that smaller changes are more advantageous than trying to make too many changes at once,

"The difference between who you are and who you want to be... is what you do."

eazy_

If you are going to make your calorie goal that low, you have to spend the calories on food that will keep you fuller longer. Big salad and chicken breast for example. Less fast food.

Consider raising your goal to 1700. You binge because you are hungry.

luckydays27

I will share my story and maybe it can help you.
18 months ago, I was 219 lbs. I was at my sisters wedding and so happy for her. And then I saw the pics. Oh my, I was fat... I looked terrible. And I was ashamed. I said I would work on losing weight and over the course of the year I lost 13 lbs by eating 1000-1200 cals a day. I was miserable but I was trying. I would do great all week long and then the weekend would come up and with it, pizza, sushi with sauces and soy sauce, ice cream etc. All the good went by the way side, just like you.

On New Years Eve, I joined the gym (like many, many others do) and committed to working out... for a week.

In late Jan, I found a program at my community college where I could workout with a trainer on a semi personal basis for a great price. I was still at a low deficit (1200 cals) and not eating back my cals. I was still miserable. I would "ruin it" on the weekends. I managed to lose 10 lbs in 4 months but none of it was consistent. Worse, I was not doing well. Headaches, nausea, hair loss, brittle nails, etc. I knew something was wrong but never thought it was the lack of food. I even went to the doctor who told me to keep going because the weight was coming off.

At the end of April, I got dizzy while walking to my car one day and blacked out. I knew I had to do something so I came to the internet. And found MFP. Wow, the information here was amazing. I read thread after thread of people who were having the same issues. I read the answers too, which consistently said eat more. Figure out TDEE etc, etc. Right there I decided I needed to do this because I am not doing well the way I was.

On April 29, 2012 I weighed 219.
On April 29, 2013 I weighed 196. I lost 23 lbs but was miserable and it took a year.
Today I weigh 161. I have lost 35 pounds in about 31 weeks because I eat 500 cals less than I burn.

I now use a trainer 3 times a week and workout on my own 2 days a week. And LOVE IT. I use a Fitbit One to determine my cals burned daily and a polar FT60 to determine my cals burned during exercise. I eat about 1700 cals a day on average. And because I am easing into maintenance, I will now be eating about 2000 cals a day.

My suggestion is lower your expectations and take this slow.
Set MFP to a 1 lb a week weight loss and eat back your exercise cals (or the majority of them). At 240 lbs you need to eat more than 1360 cals a day.
If you can afford it, buy a fitbit to help you figure out your cals burned throughout the day.
If you can afford it, buy a heart rate monitor to determine how much you burn during exercise.
If you can afford it, get a food scale. Actually, get a food scale if you buy nothing else.

Once you see the numbers go down, you wont want to waste cals or cookies and dessert and other stuff. You will see progress. And if you allow yourself the occasional treat, the struggle is easier.
Just take it slow and steady. It works, I swear.

ElizabethFuller

Try not to think of this as a "diet", this is a permanent change in your lifestyle. You can eat anything you want, nothing is forbidden, just put your figures into MFP, set to losing a pound a week, weigh your food - don't use measuring cups to measure dry food, and log every day. I agree with Luckydays27, I found a Fitbit really useful to get me moving and let me know how many extra calories I've burned and exercise is the magic bullet for me.
I have lost a pound a week since June, and I haven't found it hard. Take heart, cheer up we're all doing this together!
:flowerforyou:

ElliottTN

Your problem is tomorrow. The moment you feel like saying tomorrow will be better change it to this next moment will be better. Commit to this moment because it is the only one you have.

Completely agree. There is nothing magical in weight loss terms about a new day. If you slip then you can instantly recommit even while you still chewing the crap you out in your mouth.

And sorry I know you don't want to hear it but if you want something bad enough then you will find a way to make it happen. This is coming from a formerly obese guy so yeah, I've earned the right to say it in this context.

PeanutButterLuver71

In your post you said you do well for a week then binge. I just looked over your food diary for the past week & every day it's take out food.

I think you should get help from a dietician.

matchbox_girl

In your post you said you do well for a week then binge. I just looked over your food diary for the past week & every day it's take out food.

I think you should get help from a dietician.

Yeah, once I binge one night it's binging every day after that.

BrainyBurro

I'm struggling guys. I am really, really struggling. I am up 40 pounds in two years. Got married last month, was absolutely horrified when I saw the pics. Doc told me I may not be able to get pregnant with my weight, and it is just tearing me down. I want to be a firefighter, but at this rate the combat physical would give me a heart attack, and that depresses me so much, because I want it more than anything.

I do so well for about a week. I stay under my goal, lose a few pounds....then BAM. One bad night and it ruins EVERYTHING. Then I shoot back up in a few days. Fast food, cookies, popcorn, eating out....it's an addiction. I want in constantly! I know it should be as easy as, "If you really want it....."

I DO want it. I want it so much. But it feels equivalent to telling a meth addict, "Well, if you really want to be clean...."

UGH. Every day that I binge I simply think, "Tomorrow will be better." As if that gives me some kind of excuse. And then guess what? That "better" day turns into nothing more than the day before. And then I think again, "No more of this. TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER." But it rarely is.

I need help guys. I need advice. I need to know how you all stuck to your guns when all you wanted to do was say, "It's fine today, because tomorrow I'll do better."

Thanks for your help. I am just so frustrated. I have never been 240 pounds :-/

your mindset is wrong. that's what is causing your failure.

this is a calorie counting website. that's the ONLY thing that works. forget all of the garbage you previously learned about "good" foods and "bad" foods and "unhealthy" foods and all of that other garbage peddled by the fad/gimmick diet industry.

- log your fog accurately and honestly and every day.
- make sure to meet your macronutritional and micronutritional goals.
- eat whatever foods you want that filly you up and make you happy while meeting your calorie and nutritional goals.
- if it's easier, worry about your 3-day or 7-day averages rather than your daily numbers.
- add cardio to increase your daily calorie burn and/or allow for more calories to be eaten that day.
- don't eat too little... that leads to binging later.
- don't feel guilt or shame over the foods you eat... food is just fuel.
- don't strive for too high a calorie deficit. that's unsustainable in the long run (leads to yo-yo dieting).
- add strength training 3-4 days per week to retain lean body mass.
- don't deprive yourself of foods you like. that leads to obsessing about them.
- don't get caught up in the latest weight loss gimmick (raspberry ketones) or fad diet (low carb/gluten-free/clean/paleo/etc.)
- try to eat a balanced diet, but leave room for treats.
- stop thinking about this as a temporary diet and instead, think of it as a new lifestyle.
- never give up, never surrender! (with apologies to Galaxyquest).

i lose weight eating whatever i want to eat. sometimes that's bananas or oranges or eggs or milk or lima beans... and sometimes that's pizza or candy or bagels or ice cream. as long as my overall calorie intake is less than my overall calorie burn, i will lose weight. do that enough days in a year, and that translates to a lot of lost weight.

it really is all about the math. no matter what anybody else tells you... if calories in < calories out, you'll lose weight. simple physics.

now get to it and enjoy yourself while doing it. that's the key to sticking with it. :happy:

PS - if you're having trouble establishing these habits, start by just logging everything. even if you're eating a ton of calories, get in the habit of logging EVERYTHING. then, you can start to make changes to the foods you eat (or amounts) based on what you're seeing after a couple of weeks of accurately logging. i also find that pre-logging your meals for the day is a good way to get back on track. it's much easier to simply follow a meal plan for the day that has already be chosen to meet your goals, than to "wing it" with impulsive food choices and hope that your day ends up being ok.

FindingMyPerfection

In your post you said you do well for a week then binge. I just looked over your food diary for the past week & every day it's take out food.

I think you should get help from a dietician.

Yeah, once I binge one night it's binging every day after that.

Stop using the word binge! This word is a justification of giving up your control. You are not binging you are choosing to eat! Take ownership of your choices and stop playing the victim. You are not a victim but a powerful woman able to accomplish anything you choose to. Make your choice!

icyeyes317

Being in EMS, this is a difficult struggle for EVERY. ONE. OF. US. The few things I've started to try are:

Adding more water, and only drinking soda with full meals, not snacks.

Bringing a soft cooler to work, and fill it with healthier munchies, like veggies and dip. Yogurt, etc.

Plan a dessert a day. This was the hardest.

Bring other, non cold healthier munchies.

Do stretcher lifts. I'm workin on some kind of cardio for ambulance duty.

Ignore the scale. For at least a month. Once you get some other healthy changes in place, then look.

Don't give up. I did, and am back at square one. It is a miserable feeling.

DanIsACyclingFool

And while I totally agree about no such thing as "good" foods or "bad" foods, you do need to clean up your diet. You can eat whatever if you log it and stay under your goals but you also need real nutrition that fuels your body and keeps you healthy and feeling satiated. I'm all about including "bad" (and yummylicious) "forbidden" foods as part of my diet but not to the extreme that you are taking it. Your diary is full of "empty" calories that offer you essentially nothing of benefit, while spiking and crashing your blood suger and not properly controlling your hunger. It's all comfort food and emotional eating, and you have to get away from that. Treats are one thing, provided you budget for them, but you can't base your diet on treats which incidentally blow your calorie goal and leave you craving another treat an hour later. It's all about balance...

Also if you want to try supplements you have to use them more consistently and give them a chance to work. But really I think you should simply eat more healthy than you are, WEIGH and log all your food, stick to a realistic calorie goal that is sustainable and produces regular weight loss, and try and get some exercise in at some level. Do that for a year and you have a "can't lose" formula that will completely transform you in that period of time.