Marrying someone who also has a eating disorder.

MizzTweezy

It has been really hard. When I was alone It was so much easier. I had control of what was in my house, I didn't have to worry about being tempted by anything. My system worked for me. I was satisfied and happy. Now I am married, my husband wasn't overweight when we met. But he recently said to me, that he has had an eating problem his whole life, never fed baby food, but southern food his mom would mash up. So it started as a baby for him. I found it odd the story's he told me about them locking the fridge on him growing up. Now I understand it completely.

He was the youngest growing up, and you can tell in the way he acts sometimes if he doesn't get something. I have tired things from spending a months worth of money for food at a time so he had to eat what we had. What happened? Well he would over eat everything, and we would run out of food and be left having to go to the food pantry and live off of junk for the rest of the month.
I have tried to make our own grocery list, again he would eat all of his food, and then mine and again at the food shelf eating crap.

I have asked him not to bring junk food in the house, he will throw a fit and walk to the store to buy it. I am one of those people that can not be around it, if there are cookies in the house I will eat not 1 but all of them. I can't have it around me at all. I have learned this in my journey. He has gained over 60 pounds now and has had me in a limbo just trying to stay above water. I feel like I am about to drown. I buy protein powder which isn't cheap, to replace a meal in the morning, he uses it as just something to have even after filling his face with unhealthy foods all day. I feel like I need a support system of some sort, because this is getting to be too much. I am feeling depressed. I am gaining weight slowly, but I notice it now more than ever. And I want it to stop NOW!
He has tried with me to eat healthy, but it never lasts, How do you help someone when you are struggling with the same problem that doesn't want to be helped? You just can't, all you can do is encourage them. I had a heart filled talk with him this morning, I was in tears. Again he said he would try. I would hate to lose everything I have worked so hard to do for myself for anyone, and I refuse to do that. But what do you do? Divorce your husband? I just can't see going that far. I know I have to be accountable for myself, but I am really not strong enough when it comes to being around the bad food to say no.

Anyone else in a similar situation and any tips that may help? It is so hard to get back on a wagon you have fallen off of for so long... But I know I have it in me. I had it in me, I know what it feels like to be there, the best feeling in the world. I was so happy and so motivated and full of life, dedicated, and nothing was going to stop me.... I need some advise...

ladymiseryali

Have either of you considered going to some sort of therapy for those with binge eating disorder? I think it would probably help both of you to develop coping mechanisms so both of you stop bingeing.

Spreyton22K

I sympathise with you in this very complex situation. I really would entreat you to consider getting counselling......ideally for the both of you.....but that wouldn't be obligatory. Really the only person you can work on tho is yourself, even if hubby refuses to seek help for his own issues you can still work on lessening the load the stress load on you and gaining perspective on where your issues end and his begin. Please look after yourself first....you never know hubby may well be inspired to take control over HIS issues and deal with them as an adult.

ThickMcRunFast

This sounds like a difficult situation. I would encourage you both to talk to someone. Counseling is good for pretty much everyone.

However, in reality, you can only control you. If he won't stop bringing cookies into the house, you have to find a way to not binge eat the cookies. Work on yourself. Be strong yourself. You can't force him into anything. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but there is no guarantee that he will change, so you'll have to do it.

DamePiglet

Have either of you considered going to some sort of therapy for those with binge eating disorder? I think it would probably help both of you to develop coping mechanisms so both of you stop bingeing.

^^^ this.

MyFoodGod

Check out Overeaters Anonymous. Go by yourself. Maybe he will show interest but don't pressure him.