So tired of being fat!

lisahulsizer

Hi everyone! I am attempting to restart - again - and just need to vent first. I have over 100 pounds to lose, and I have started diet after diet over and over again over the years. Each time is the same.....I do really good for a short amount of time, and then I start cheating a little here and there, which turns into me quickly going back to my old eating habits. I always find something to blame....stress, PMS, whatever....but it all goes back to my no-willpower and an all-or-nothing mentality. If I have a bad day, I think to myself "Well, you screwed it up, so you might as well keep eating crap!"

This weight is killing me. My knees and back always hurt, I am tired all the time, I can barely keep up with my daughter, I am limited in where I can shop for clothes, I am scared to death of going to amusement parks (which is one of my favorite things to do) because I am afraid I won't fit on the rides. I am only 30 years old!! I shouldn't feel this way!

So, enough is enough. I am trying again. Will this attempt be the one? I sure as hell hope so, because I just can't keep going like this.

Roaringgael

Your telling my story too.
Have a good go at it, nothing changes if nothing changes.
All the best!

rotill

I really hope you can do it this time!

And if you don't manage to stick to your diet, perhaps it's a help to know that you can have huge health benefits from getting more fit, even if you are overweight. Actually, unless you have other health issues, it can be better for you to not try to diet your way to a slim figure, but instead exercize a bit more, and start making healthy food choices. Strict diets followed by indulgence is worse than keeping your weight, but building muscle, improving flexibility and stamina, and making smarter and healthier choices for what you eat is always good for you!

Good luck with making a change!

Georgieout

This sounds so much like me!
Do really great for a short while, then mess up more and more until i give up and feel like a failure, which results in me eating more crap and gaining more weight than before!
This time round i'm being a lot more lenient with myself, if i mess up i'm not beating myself up about it, if i lose a pound a week i'm still happy that's a pound less i've got to carry around. Trying to change my mindset is, i think, probably harder than the actual healthy eating.
Just try to think as positively you can about every choice you make, whether good or bad. Maybe even write down the reasons you want this so badly and put them somewhere you'll see them and be reminded just why you're doing this!
You can do it, maybe not last time, maybe not the time before, but make this time count. In a years time think how different your life could be if you just stick with it and power through

Samstan101

A bit of advise based on my experience. You are not looking for a diet, what you are describing is a lifestyle change. You need to find a way of eating that will allow you to lose weight and once you get to where you want to be (because with the right mind set and some patience YOU WILL GET THERE!) your eating habits are such that you will keep the weight off.

I know its tempting to set MFP to lose the maximum per week that you can but bear in mind you didn't put the weight on over night so you can't expect it to come off over night. Slow & steady wins the race!

Allow yourself some treats ut include them in your calories, also if you have a special event or something crops up and you go over - don't sweat it, just get back on track the next meal/ day.

Be honest with yourself. Weigh, measure & log everything. Learn portion size. If you missing things out of your diary or guess the weight ultimately the only person you're lieing to is youself.

If you want this you can do it and not feel deprived or hungry. Go for it - I'm just over half way and already know its definitely worth the effort! Good luck :flowerforyou:

amcsouth

Feel free to add me

You have to WANT to lose weight. Find the reasons why you want to lose weight and write them down. You mentioned your health, your daughter, and so on. Make small changes at first, like reducing soda or adding in an extra vegetable at each meal! It's far easier then trying to change everything at once

lisahulsizer

You all are so amazing. Thank you so much, and I agree 100% with everything each one of you said.

I want this SO BAD. I hope you don't mind, but I will be adding you all for some accountability.

Topsking2010

Take charge of your healthy!!

Change your eating habits!!

It's not easy but you can do it!!!

silverteacup

Find something to motivate you and hold on to it. For me it was anger, strong anger with myself for letting myself become fat in the first place. Anger is a strong emotion and a powerful motivator most of the time it motivates people to make poor choices but it can be used for making the right choices.

You lose weight not by taking it one step at a time but making one choice at a time. Each right choice catapults you in the direction you want to go. I keep enough anger to remind myself of where I want to be.

Find what moves you and hold on to it.

Fenomka

Hey Lisa,

I know exactly how you feel. I was in the same boat for a long time. I don't know if it will help you, but I know for me, I did a juice cleanse for 10 days (bought a juicer, made all my own juices, using recipes online, and had support from my trainer and doctor) then transitioned into a restricted diet for 15 days where I was predominantly only eating veggies and fruits, with a little bit of chicken and fish. I've been off the restricted for a few days, but I find I'm still tending to eat the way I did for the 15 days, because I'm now just in the habit of doing it. I've added in a little bit of carbs and dairy, but not a lot - mostly just to help make up the remainder of the calories I need, but I try to stay away from breads, pastas, and potatoes, because I know those are my trigger foods.

PS, have you identified your trigger foods? I know for me, that was a big step to improving the way I eat - seeing the things that, if I eat them, cause me to slip back into my old habits. For me, it's fast food. especially French fries. so I try really hard to stay away from any of that, instead making my own versions at home, with healthier options and lettuce buns instead of bread.

You can do this. We believe in you, and we're all cheering you on!! We've totally got this!!

Smash666

If you need some honest opinions, support and a little tough love... Feel free to add me.

headfullofsongs

Last Christmas, I read something along the lines of "a year from now, you'll wonder why you didn't start today" and that really struck a chord with me. This past year has certainly not been easy, but it has not been nearly as hard as I thought it would be, either. I was WELL over 300 when I started, so I completely understand where you're coming from. Don't try to do everything at once. As others have said, it really is about the small changes.

I started out with a very shallow goal. I wanted to go see my favorite band and not be the biggest person there. We just bought tickets for a show in March, and I'm so excited about it!

There is no downside for this. You can do it!

Best wishes

pwittek10

It is very do able but you have to stick to your plan
It is way easier to just not eat that bad-for-you-item
than it is to just eat a little. Once you get the taste you want more.
Watch for what triggers you to eat wrong foods. (the triggers are there
and usually tied to emotion not hunger)
Good luck to you this time, it is a life style change not a diet

kathrynj40

I know how it feels, if you find yourself reaching for "bad" foods allow yourself to have it , you haven't blown your diet and you can't avoid temptation for the rest of your life. Just know that after you have eaten you are going to make healthy choices again. I am finding it helps to log everything in the MFP food diary. Just take it a day at a time thinking about how much you want to lose can be daunting. You can be healthier today, good luck!

_Zardoz_

A bit of advise based on my experience. You are not looking for a diet, what you are describing is a lifestyle change. You need to find a way of eating that will allow you to lose weight and once you get to where you want to be (because with the right mind set and some patience YOU WILL GET THERE!) your eating habits are such that you will keep the weight off.

I know its tempting to set MFP to lose the maximum per week that you can but bear in mind you didn't put the weight on over night so you can't expect it to come off over night. Slow & steady wins the race!

Allow yourself some treats ut include them in your calories, also if you have a special event or something crops up and you go over - don't sweat it, just get back on track the next meal/ day.

Be honest with yourself. Weigh, measure & log everything. Learn portion size. If you missing things out of your diary or guess the weight ultimately the only person you're lieing to is youself.

If you want this you can do it and not feel deprived or hungry. Go for it - I'm just over half way and already know its definitely worth the effort! Good luck :flowerforyou:

Fantastic post totally agree. Never put anything out of bounds. Everything in Moderation. Depriving yourself will just make you want it more and think lifelong.

frances_21

Hello,

I understand exactly... I'm amazed that I still fit in a movie theater chair . I officially started to try to lose weight TODAY!!! I hope everything goes well for you and staying connect with people that can encourage and not just right now but for every step!!! I hope I can be one of those ppl because I sure do need some too!!

Blokeypoo

I lost 28lbs by eating 1400cals a day minimum. I relaxed it more for some w/e's or hols etc but also tried to exercise more - my mini trampoline is a revelation and my Fitbit drove me to do more too. I didn't care how slow any loss was, it had to be sustainable otherwise it is just another feast/famine cycle. Ironically I now probably eat more freely than when I was/wasn't on the diet cycle.

Weigh everything and I also plan my food the night before to save dilemmas when faced with choices at work.

My favourite sayings/actions to get me by are:

Always go the long way to loo/go upstairs twice for things, not once/just take very chance to move more without the need for exercise plans you can't stick to.

Don't try, DO!

Say "Never on a weekday" (if tempted to go off piste)

Remember that cake/pie whatever isn't going anywhere so you don't have to have one in case it's going extinct and never to be had again!

Henry Ford - “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't --you're right.”

If you love food why live a life where you have to keep giving it up or cutting back by dieting!

And because it's all in the mind I also went on Amazon and got a really no nonsense unfluffy book on Mindfulness and it has changed my life.

Good luck!

WarriorReady

Sometimes when we fall the only thing that counts is that we get back up again! We have all been there in one way or another. I am dusting myself off and getting up again after reading this quote: Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit. - Conrad Hilton

Best of luck! You can do it and have so much to look forward too! Take care! :flowerforyou:

Rays_Wife

Hi there! You can totally do this.

I only have 2 suggestions. First, set your MFP weight loss goal to lose "1 pound per week".

Secondly, do not cut out any foods (unless you need to for medical reasons). Try to make healthy choices for the bulk of your diet (like 80%) and then allow yourself to have your treats or snacks (20%). This way you won't be setting yourself up to fail when you feel deprived and restricted - because you will feel that way!

I am trying to get back on my feet after a big regain of weight. I originally lost 64 pounds eating at a moderate deficit like I suggested. I regained because of depression. I let myself go off the rails after someone close to me passed away a few months ago. If you are up for some mutual support add me! I keep my friends list really small so I can keep up with everyone properly. Good luck and take it one day at a time!

april1445

"Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most." That quote really struck a cord with me. How can you (we) want something so bad, and still make choices that don't get us there??? Good luck. Life's better when you're in it, and not on the sidelines.

aleddy

I am in the same situation. I have been yo-yoing like crazy and always adding more weight each time I go up. I usually stop when I get a Sinus infection which I am very prone to because of allergies. I feel so miserable I can't excercise and all I want is the comfort food.

I started again in August and I have been making steady progress. I was inspired to start again after by Mum had to go through a life treatening heart operation that month. She is very big and has suffered over the last ten years from two types of cancer, heart problems and bowel problems. These problems have been exacerbated if not directly caused by her weight, and it has certainly main her care and recovery harder. I don't want to have the same issues so I am determined to make the lifestyle changes and to stick with it this time. I think keeping your motivation front and centre in your mind helps.

I started doing Boxcercise twice a week and a long walk another day. I find class better than a video as I try harder. It was very hard at first with a lot of knee pain, but now I can run up and down the stairs without feeling a twinge. I have not been starving myself, just making sure I am eating the right sort of stuff. I have cut out crisps/chips and biscuits completely as these are my biggest weakness, but I do alow myself a mini crunchie or some dark chocolate as a snack. Drinking lots of water helps, as does snacking on fruit or nuts about an hour before meals. This helps me take the time to prepare something healthy when I get home rather than reaching for fast high calorie stuff.

I hope this helps, feel free to add me and hopefully we can keep each other motivated.

rachjenn

Hey,

I find when people go on "quick-win" diets, they quickly turn back to their old habits. My suggestion is to make a full lifestyle change (as someone else has suggested) instead of a diet.

Start with small things - adding more veg on your plate, eating more low-cal feel-fuller foods (eggs do it for me), less carb portions. You'll see a weight loss even with this I'm sure.

You deserve naughtiness here and there, so try to stick to certain days - weekend maybe? I'm a chocoholic but find stopping until weekend helps- then sometimes I'm not even wanting any! No naughtiness I'd almost guarantee you won't continue with it. Someone I work with goes hell-for-leather for a few weeks- nothing naughty, gym at 5am, then after a few weeks has to stop and goes right back to how she was. You need a lifestyle change rather than diet :-)

Good luck!!!

GiveMeCoffee

First you can do this if you truly want to. Set small realistic goals for yourself, and set a plan on how you can best achieve those goals. Don't deprive yourself, small calorie deficit and more activity.

Also don't think of it as "cheating", if you have a day you indulge own it, log it and move on from it (oh and ENJOY it)

Learn moderation and portion control. Be 100% honest with yourself. Find an activity you enjoy doing, I fell in love with biking and lifting weights. So working out is something I enjoy doing.

Last thing be PATIENT! Good luck!

ktsmom430

Looks like many of us share your story of starting over many times, and this is my story too, more times than you can imagine.

I wish you the best of luck! Please know that you too can do this!

charliex2202

I live my life by this quote and i find that it helps me it is "Fall down 7 times, get up 8 times" as long as you continue to try even after you fail you will succeed in anything you do....

Its so easy to give in to temptation but then the guilt takes over and you feel worse so you eat more, its a vicious cycle and one we all fall into...just be honest with yourself realise where you went wrong and try again...

This is a physical change and a mental change it wont happen over night...

good luck feel free to add me i like new friends...

~Charlie

sola24

I have always had this problem.. What works for me is not restricting myself to certain type of food.. just restricting the amounts. and trying to average the calories out over a week than in a day to day basis. Usually if I think I will not have cake.. after a few days I tend to go and binge on it as thats all the think about.. Better to have that cake but just a bite or a tiny piece.

drcrisos

I wish you all the luck in your goals. I tried to diet so many times over the years just to fall short and think, well, my hubby loves me the way I am. I would keep telling myself that as to justify my poor eating habits.
That all changed in August. I don't really know how I did it, but I made the choice to use this app consistently. I never thought of it as a diet. It has opened my eyes to how much I would eat at any given meal. I had no concept of the number of calories I was eating even in "healthy" foods. I have learned that it is the amount as well as the type of food and now have a completely different approach when it comes to foods.
Now, I look at what it is I want and determine how many calories it is, and is it worth it. I honestly will still eat at fast food joints (not healthy I know), but I have also learned that if I deny myself what it is that I want or think I want, I will not succeed.
For me, it was important to learn to eat in my "real world". Not by making myself following any diet, not be eating only fruits and veggies for 2 weeks, then slowly bring in carbs/protein. Not by fasting. I had to learn to eat every day normal foods, just in the right quantities.
Nothing wrong with following other "diets" if that is what gets you going, but for me, I needed to make it easy. If it's too hard to keep up, I will fail.
This has become easy for me. Just all in the choices and if I go over, well, go for that extra walk, put in that exercise tape, get you calories back.
I need to exercise more that is a given. I'm trying to balance work, kids, hubby, dogs, etc and make time.
Good luck to you on your journey.
Persistence and you will achieve your goals.

ingraha

Hi I will agree with most of what I've heard here with the exception of stay away from juice cleanses and that kind of thing it's best to be sensible and eat whatever you want but stay within the calorie goal. That being said it's also a good idea to just decide to be patient. I tried for years to lose weight and when I was willing to let it be slow and change my lifestyle I have finally had success. You can too. good luck

EvgeniZyntx

Be persistent.

And these are likely some of the best things to read...


http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833026-important-posts-to-read
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819055-setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets

ingraha

Oh and one more thing the most important of all; log everything and if you can wear your food my biggest problem was I had no idea on portion size.

pinky6767

i think this is a great site for you, because we have all felt that way, and had days we wanted to just give up. Add me, i'll help motivate you and push you through when you feel down or like giving up. Even if you've cheated and eaten crap all day. Thats ok, its one day in the big picture of where you want to end up. Don't give up, and if you need help or motivation add me to your friends.:flowerforyou: