Dealing with my depression and dieting. Advice?

sianisfat

I just turned 19, I have a one year old and I'm currently training to be a teacher. A few years ago I weighed around 164lbs (I'm 5'5ft, so I am technically overweight) I wasn't massively fat but I was very unhappy. I started eating 1,200 calories a day and within 3 months of solid dieting I had lost just over 30lbs and weighed in at 132lbs. I looked great and I was so happy. I stayed this weight for some time but then I went to college and got pregnant and slowly piled the weight back on. When I gave birth I weighed around 152lbs.

Due to a domestically abusive relationship and dealing with living by myself I have been comfort eating. I was diagnosed with depression a few months ago and since then put on a lot more weight, my heaviest weight was 173lbs. I started dieting again and I am now back down to 164lbs. I am so unhappy, but the weight is so much harder to shift now. I used to lose a few pounds a week, now I stay the same weight or put on. It's so off-putting. Today I came in from college and sat and had a massive binge, I ate a whole pack of mince pies, lots of crisps and pizza.

I need advice. How do I stop comfort eating? How do I avoid platos (or however you spell it)? And how can I stick to it?

Thank you if you read the whole thing.

pinkiemarie252

Have you seen a therapist or psychiatrist? You don't always just snap out of depression and get "better". If you were abused you probably need some therapy to work through some issues, and you might also benefit from an anti-depressant. Honestly, while you're depressed and harboring hard feelings and pain you're not very likely to be successful at weight loss.

Tiernan1212

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, I've been there (abusive relationship, had my daughter at a young age, etc). I took medications for a few years to help with the depression and anxiety, but it wasn't until I spent 6 months with a therapist that I saw dramatic improvement. I worked through my issues with him, and figured enough out that I no longer need medications. It is a long road but well worth it in the end

For me now, exercise is my best anti-depressant (and I used to never believe that would be the case). I still get anxious, and I still battle depressive feelings, but I find if I get in a good workout my mood improves dramatically.

I wish you the best of luck :flowerforyou:

elyelyse

You mention how you used to lose a few pounds a week...that's not realistic or healthy unless you are very overweight. At your height and weight, you can expect to lose about a pound a week (sometimes less, rarely more) if you stick to an appropriate caloric deficit.

A previous commenter mentioned exercise as the best anti-depressant and, while it's not the only part of the equation, for me, being physically active is AS important as taking medication. Of courses when we're depressed, who the heck wants to exercise?! So start with little things. Tell yourself "just 10 minutes. I can deal with almost anything for 10 minutes" and give yourself permission to stop at just that little bit. If you do it, one of two things will happen: you'll be proud of yourself for making the effort, which will lead to the motivation to do it again, OR you will find that you can totally do more than 10 minutes once you get started, which again...positive experience which leads to increased motivation. Maybe, you find 10 minutes to be too much...try 5. I KNOW you can do 5 minutes...now you just have to believe it too.

WendyTerry420

Are you out of the relationship now? That's the first step. Next step is to realize that you can be happy living alone. It might take counseling to help get you there. I suffered from depression for a long time, but I found that when I choose to be happy, I eventually get happy. Friends help too. Best of luck! :flowerforyou:

WendyTerry420

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, I've been there (abusive relationship, had my daughter at a young age, etc). I took medications for a few years to help with the depression and anxiety, but it wasn't until I spent 6 months with a therapist that I saw dramatic improvement. I worked through my issues with him, and figured enough out that I no longer need medications. It is a long road but well worth it in the end

For me now, exercise is my best anti-depressant (and I used to never believe that would be the case). I still get anxious, and I still battle depressive feelings, but I find if I get in a good workout my mood improves dramatically.

I wish you the best of luck :flowerforyou:

^^ This too! Counseling/Therapy is *way* better than meds. And exercise is the best mood elevator!

ChloeHope2114

I'm right there with you! We can do this though! Maybe seek professional help? I've been through counseling and such, but even I have to remind myself that I defied that, and I can defy this too. Feel free to add me!!!

TavistockToad

exercise is your friend...

but also, speak to your doctor.

ninerbuff

Have you seen a therapist or psychiatrist? You don't always just snap out of depression and get "better". If you were abused you probably need some therapy to work through some issues, and you might also benefit from an anti-depressant. Honestly, while you're depressed and harboring hard feelings and pain you're not very likely to be successful at weight loss.

This. Since mentality has a lot to do with depressed people putting on weight, have a professional help you with that first.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Bernadette60614

You've gone through several major life changes so be gentle with yourself.

You're just getting your life back together, and it will take time.

Take it one day at a time, in baby steps and you'll get there.

Lleldiranne

I have dealt with depression since high school, and I tend to use food as reward/punishment too often (sometimes comfort eating, sometimes not eating because I "don't deserve it", etc).

Do you exercise at all? I know it's hard with a 1 year old and living on your own, but even just putting your little one in a stroller and going for a brisk walk can help lift your mood and give you something to do besides eating. You can also do DVDs at home before baby wakes up or during nap time, or even get LO involved. There are videos on youtube and some other websites for free if money is a concern.

I second the suggestions to get into therapy, especially since there was an abusive relationship. With depression, we tend to learn unhealthy "scripts" and ways of coping with stressors (talking to ourself very negatively, eating, self-harm even) and a therapist can help you learn positive, healthy ways to change those. And if you haven't, consider an antidepressant. It may only be temporarily necessary, but it can make the difference in allowing you to heal and learn to be positive. Talk to your doctor about options (I just barely got on an SSRI, even though I've been dealing with this for close to 20 years, and I can't believe how much it's helped! Not everyone needs medications, but for me it's been so much better; I'm even controlling me eating better and have lost a few pounds since starting!)

LAnne16

Exercise usually helps my depression for a few hours, and keeping busy.

Having a bad time now, and I want to go exercise because I know it will make me feel better, but I can't seem to bring myself to even get up and do something... Just want to cry all the time.

I agree with the others... Talk to a doctor if you can. I would, but have no coverage right now, so I'm kind of on my own for the time being

Lleldiranne

Exercise usually helps my depression for a few hours, and keeping busy.

Having a bad time now, and I want to go exercise because I know it will make me feel better, but I can't seem to bring myself to even get up and do something... Just want to cry all the time.

I agree with the others... Talk to a doctor if you can. I would, but have no coverage right now, so I'm kind of on my own for the time being

There are clinics that do sliding scale based on income for those who have no insurance. It's often through the county, so the health department may be a starting place in finding them. I just know what it's like to go untreated, and I hate to see other people have to do that.

plateaued

Exercise (endorphins) momentarily helps symptoms of the depression but does not address the disease. Therapy will. It will take a few months.

em435

Exercise is the biggest mood booster and I honestly don't think I'd be off anti-depressants now if I hadn't picked up running.
Perhaps find an exercise that you can do, even if it's just for 10minutes a day and also, try not to buy any comfort foods as they'll bring your mood right back down (energy slumps, feeling like you've failed, feeling bloated or spotty, feeling unattractive etc. etc.)

I say, see a doctor, and focus on eating better at maintenance calories and exercising more before worrying about losing weight. Your mental health is more important right now than any number on the scale.

Yogafit28

There are ways to rev up your metabolism like drinking green tea and getting out and exercising (even if its just going for a walk!). Depression is confusing and so heartbreaking but if you can get through say a month of dieting and distracting yourself I think you'll feel a whole lot better. Life doesn't always go as planned but if you have some determination and drive things WILL start to go your way. Go out and do something you've never done before, even if you have to force yourself to be excited. The feeling afterward will be so worth it love. The best of luck. I've been dealing with depression for my whole life, but there have been very wide gaps in between those phases. When depression comes on again just distract yourself and set achievable goals until you start to forget it's even a distraction. Oh and just one more tip: Yoga

BokBagok

Lots of good advice in this thread - but in my non-proffesional opinion, your first step should be to change your mfp username. That can't be healthy with everything else that you're dealing with.

JasonAxelrod

I'm 25. I still comfort eat. I hate admitting that, because talking about relapses with my fellow diet friends is the exact opposite of my wanting to be a source of positivity in their lives. But it's the truth. Sometimes I have an unbelieveable amount of restraint and control and I feel like the world will literally have to **** off if it comes face to face with me. Other times, I am overcome with impulse because of emotional triggers. Usually afterward, I am passive and self-destructive and simply let the behavior continue.

I need to see a therapist. I have for a long time. I put it off because I am afraid of being judged, both by the therapist and by the people in my personal life. It's unbelievably, heavily intimidating. But I know I need it. I'm 25 years-old. That's at least a 3rd of my life over, already, if not more. I've got 2/3 left, if that. Do I want to spend a large portion of that trying to take control, unsure if I can all on my own? No. I don't have time to waste or time to be prideful. **** pridefulness.

If I had done X, if I had done Y, I would be Z by now.

Who cares, at this point? What matters is now. What can I do NOW? What can YOU do NOW?

We can start by taking stock of our situation. If it really is the case, we admit that we need help getting ourselves under control, and that it isn't something to feel ashamed about it. And we stop making excuses and stop letting anxiety or fear of change or being vulnerable to the people who are most likely to treat us carefully versus the people who are negative influences in our life keep us from getting that help.

It sucks not being able to be in control all on our own. But that's the challenge. That's the BIGGEST challenge. Accepting that we need others, and that it's okay to need others, and to be able to reach out when we need to.

Athijade

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, I've been there (abusive relationship, had my daughter at a young age, etc). I took medications for a few years to help with the depression and anxiety, but it wasn't until I spent 6 months with a therapist that I saw dramatic improvement. I worked through my issues with him, and figured enough out that I no longer need medications. It is a long road but well worth it in the end

For me now, exercise is my best anti-depressant (and I used to never believe that would be the case). I still get anxious, and I still battle depressive feelings, but I find if I get in a good workout my mood improves dramatically.

I wish you the best of luck :flowerforyou:

^^ This too! Counseling/Therapy is *way* better than meds. And exercise is the best mood elevator!

But I will say, sometimes a person can get great counseling but may also need medicine. Too often is the use of medication for depression and anxiety seen as "bad". I have in the past dealt with my problems through diet, exercise, getting enough sleep, and seeing a counselor. However, I am currently in a situation where even WITH all of that I am still very prone to anxiety that causes illogical thought processes, panic attacks, and an inability to get things done at times. As such, I have decided to take the next step and look into medications. Do I WANT to be taking medications? No, but just like with other health problems it might be needed.

jennybennypenny

I've struggled with depression also, so I know where you're coming from in some ways. One big thing is to try to stop your negative self-talk. Or at least be more aware of what your inner dialogue sounds like. I was so so negative to myself all the time. It's alarming, really. Try to look at yourself and find something you like (for awhile in my life I really thought there wasn't anything.) Recognize when you're saying something bad to yourself in your head--then think about if you would say that to someone else. Talk to yourself like you would to a good friend. Be kind.

Also, 1200 calories a day works for some people, but for most people it just sets you up for failure. You deprive and deprive, and then you wipe out all the progress with a binge. If you try to eat an amount that is sustainable, you will be much more likely to be successful in the long term. Use a TDEE calculator (here's one: http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/#results) and come up with a calorie amount that you can eat within and still live your life while losing weight slowly. Going out to eat shouldn't mess up your day. Eating a candy bar shouldn't mess up your day. It can be sustainable.

Exercise really will help your mood. Set small goals, don't try to change everything over night. Try to work out twice a week, then increase it as you feel up to it. Tell yourself you're doing well by meeting those goals. Don't beat yourself up and don't compare yourself to others. Just set small goals, achieve them, and congratulate yourself.

Feel free to friend me if you'd like!

CynthiaT60

Lots of good advice in this thread - but in my non-proffesional opinion, your first step should be to change your mfp username. That can't be healthy with everything else that you're dealing with.

Was also my idea. :flowerforyou:

losingwhatican

You've overcome so much and are still accomplishing a lot, and I hope you sometimes stop to remember how amazing that is. You're a young single mother, going to school, who's managed to get out of an abusive relationship. You want to teach and give back to people, even as you work to love yourself and raise a child. That is HUGE.

I definitely second others' suggestions to seek a therapist, and it's also time to just be gentle with yourself. If you want to cut back on bingeing, maybe look into mindful eating as a way of finding comfort in food without overeating. When I'm feeling fragile or stressed, sometimes wrapping myself in a blanket with a big mug of tea and a movie is infinitely more soothing than food. I also have a list of alternatives to bingeing, if I have particularly bad cravings (things like drinking water, chewing gum, brushing teeth, doing jumping jacks, or finding something else to occupy my attention).

Dieting takes a lot of physical and emotional energy, two things that depression (and parenting!) doesn't always allow you to spare. At your weight, you're probably not going to be losing multiple pounds a week, and that's okay! What's important is finding food and activity that makes you feel good and healthy. You can absolutely do this.