Shot down at the gym today...

BigDaddyRonnie

So I was at the gym today, just doing my normal thing. I started walking by this new piece of gym equipment and saw this woman who was fit (obviously been at the gym before), but I could remotely tell she was confused. So I offered to help...just help...just offered help, and she blew me off like a piece of dust on a ceiling fan!

Hey lady, I am just trying to help. No, I am not trying to pick up you. Yes, maybe I am just nice, wanted to help, maybe a little "how are you" conversation. Just offering help. Yes, I saw you snicker to the other guy behind you. WTF! What you may have passed up from this little offer of complete kindness...lets see...is possibly that once in a lifetime connection that could impact your livelihood, your career, your existence. But now you will never know.

You know lady, there are guys out there who are nice, who don't try to hit on and pick up every woman they see. There are men who will hold a door not just for a woman, but for anyone that is in their proximity. There are men will offer to help anyone that remotely appears to need help, and sometimes we will offer to help even though it is apparent that its not needed. There are nice guys out there.

Sheesh...note to self...run...don't walk...run when you see her next time. Vain is the nice word I apply...who pee'd in your cheerios today?

Mr_Excitement

I think women get a lot of "help" from men who aren't any more qualified than they are themselves, so it seems condescending.

For instance, I know a women who's got an advanced open water dive rating, she's an instructor with hundreds if not thousands of dives under her belt-- but when she goes to some dive site and suits up, there's almost always some amateur *kitten* who comes by and tries to 'show her' how to connect an f'ing oxygen tank, lol.

I've been burned a couple of times in the way you describe (when I really did only want to help), but I can see how some women might be a bit short tempered on the subject.

SugarBaby71

Thank you. I appreciate your help. Even though I can get a chair to reach that... even though I can lift that heavy thing into my car from Home Depot... I like that you asked if you could help. And yes, I can open the door for myself, but I do like when you get there first and hold it for me. Thanks. I like it. :flowerforyou:

_KitKat_

Thank you. I appreciate your help. Even though I can get a chair to reach that... even though I can lift that heavy thing into my car from Home Depot... I like that you asked if you could help. And yes, I can open the door for myself, but I do like when you get there first and hold it for me. Thanks. I like it. :flowerforyou:

^^^ Well said, this is how I feel.

lyzmorrison

I totally appreciate it when someone gives me a hand...whether it'ss a word of encouragment or correction of my form....or holding the door for me. She should have just said "thank you" and moved on. Her dis of you is a reflection of her bad manners, not of your kindness. Screw her.

Ninguneado77

So I was at the gym today, just doing my normal thing. I started walking by this new piece of gym equipment and saw this woman who was fit (obviously been at the gym before), but I could remotely tell she was confused. So I offered to help...just help...just offered help, and she blew me off like a piece of dust on a ceiling fan!

Hey lady, I am just trying to help. No, I am not trying to pick up you. Yes, maybe I am just nice, wanted to help, maybe a little "how are you" conversation. Just offering help. Yes, I saw you snicker to the other guy behind you. WTF! What you may have passed up from this little offer of complete kindness...lets see...is possibly that once in a lifetime connection that could impact your livelihood, your career, your existence. But now you will never know.

You know lady, there are guys out there who are nice, who don't try to hit on and pick up every woman they see. There are men who will hold a door not just for a woman, but for anyone that is in their proximity. There are men will offer to help anyone that remotely appears to need help, and sometimes we will offer to help even though it is apparent that its not needed. There are nice guys out there.

Sheesh...note to self...run...don't walk...run when you see her next time. Vain is the nice word I apply...who pee'd in your cheerios today?

your feelings are hurt

karl39x

So all those times I held doors open for women they thought I was just being nice and not trying to pick them up?

Damn, I need to find better pick up methods.

MinnieInMaine

ETA: After some thought, I'm curious, what exactly did she say or do to "blow you off"?

What SugarBaby71 said! OP, don't give up on being nice just because some people take it the wrong way or react differently than you'd expect. She's probably used to getting hit on and getting unwanted/unsolicited advice and just assumed that's what you were up to.

Although I'm a woman, I was raised that way too, it's just common courtesy. I'll hold doors for people if they're not too far behind me, or even open doors for them if I see their hands are full. I apologize for bumping in to people even if it's not my fault. I hear this is kind of Canadian thing - and while I'm not from Canada, my people come from Northern Maine (almost Canada) and my ancestors come from the NE Provinces so I guess it's instinct. LOL!

The reaction that always gets to me is when it's like they expect to be treated a certain way and don't even acknowledge you with a look, smile or thanks...:grumble: I don't expect a huge hurrah for being nice but seriously, at least give me a little eye contact.

tibby531

Thank you. I appreciate your help. Even though I can get a chair to reach that... even though I can lift that heavy thing into my car from Home Depot... I like that you asked if you could help. And yes, I can open the door for myself, but I do like when you get there first and hold it for me. Thanks. I like it. :flowerforyou:

^^^ Well said, this is how I feel.

ditto!

OllyReeves

So I was at the gym today, just doing my normal thing. I started walking by this new piece of gym equipment and saw this woman who was fit (obviously been at the gym before), but I could remotely tell she was confused. So I offered to help...just help...just offered help, and she blew me off like a piece of dust on a ceiling fan!

Hey lady, I am just trying to help. No, I am not trying to pick up you. Yes, maybe I am just nice, wanted to help, maybe a little "how are you" conversation. Just offering help. Yes, I saw you snicker to the other guy behind you. WTF! What you may have passed up from this little offer of complete kindness...lets see...is possibly that once in a lifetime connection that could impact your livelihood, your career, your existence. But now you will never know.

You know lady, there are guys out there who are nice, who don't try to hit on and pick up every woman they see. There are men who will hold a door not just for a woman, but for anyone that is in their proximity. There are men will offer to help anyone that remotely appears to need help, and sometimes we will offer to help even though it is apparent that its not needed. There are nice guys out there.

Sheesh...note to self...run...don't walk...run when you see her next time. Vain is the nice word I apply...who pee'd in your cheerios today?

Maybe she's not interested in 'nice guys' at the gym helping her. Maybe she'd prefer that you mind your own business. Just a thought.

Ninguneado77

So I was at the gym today, just doing my normal thing. I started walking by this new piece of gym equipment and saw this woman who was fit (obviously been at the gym before), but I could remotely tell she was confused. So I offered to help...just help...just offered help, and she blew me off like a piece of dust on a ceiling fan!

Hey lady, I am just trying to help. No, I am not trying to pick up you. Yes, maybe I am just nice, wanted to help, maybe a little "how are you" conversation. Just offering help. Yes, I saw you snicker to the other guy behind you. WTF! What you may have passed up from this little offer of complete kindness...lets see...is possibly that once in a lifetime connection that could impact your livelihood, your career, your existence. But now you will never know.

You know lady, there are guys out there who are nice, who don't try to hit on and pick up every woman they see. There are men who will hold a door not just for a woman, but for anyone that is in their proximity. There are men will offer to help anyone that remotely appears to need help, and sometimes we will offer to help even though it is apparent that its not needed. There are nice guys out there.

Sheesh...note to self...run...don't walk...run when you see her next time. Vain is the nice word I apply...who pee'd in your cheerios today?

Maybe she's not interested in 'nice guys' at the gym helping her. Maybe she'd prefer that you mind your own business. Just a thought.

Maybe, for one of those crazy stretches of the imagination, she went there to actually work out

sweetpea03b

More than likely she was insulted that you thought she needed your help. Particularly if she is uncomfortable with the gym atmosphere and always feels like she's being watched and judged for "doing something wrong". And... you just verified that indeed that is the case. You embarrassed her. I seriously doubt she thought you were "hitting on her" or whatever.

Unrelated... but every time a guy offers to pick something up or carry something for me... it pisses me off. I lift every week... I may not look strong... but I am... so back off.

Edited to say.... I am not rude when someone tries to help me... I just say "I can do it... thanks... I'm stronger than I look" and then they are impressed with my ability to carry 90lbs of dog food to my car all by myself. I wouldn't take it personally.... but learn from the situation.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Would have offered to help if she was a dude? No? You got the reaction you deserved. Yes? Some people are mean. Sorry your feelings were hurt. But now back to remote abilities to sense the needs of others... do tell me more.

89nunu

Holding open doors for people you don't know walking behind you and jumping on to someone you don't know to give your opinions is a different thing. Maybe she just wants to do her workout and not talk to everyone

Mr_Bad_Example

So I was at the gym today, just doing my normal thing. I started walking by this new piece of gym equipment and saw this woman who was fit (obviously been at the gym before), but I could remotely tell she was confused. So I offered to help...just help...just offered help, and she blew me off like a piece of dust on a ceiling fan!

Hey lady, I am just trying to help. No, I am not trying to pick up you. Yes, maybe I am just nice, wanted to help, maybe a little "how are you" conversation. Just offering help. Yes, I saw you snicker to the other guy behind you. WTF! What you may have passed up from this little offer of complete kindness...lets see...is possibly that once in a lifetime connection that could impact your livelihood, your career, your existence. But now you will never know.

You know lady, there are guys out there who are nice, who don't try to hit on and pick up every woman they see. There are men who will hold a door not just for a woman, but for anyone that is in their proximity. There are men will offer to help anyone that remotely appears to need help, and sometimes we will offer to help even though it is apparent that its not needed. There are nice guys out there.

Sheesh...note to self...run...don't walk...run when you see her next time. Vain is the nice word I apply...who pee'd in your cheerios today?

Me thinks thou doth butthurt too much.

vtmoon

So I was at the gym today, just doing my normal thing. I started walking by this new piece of gym equipment and saw this woman who was fit (obviously been at the gym before), but I could remotely tell she was confused. So I offered to help...just help...just offered help, and she blew me off like a piece of dust on a ceiling fan!

Hey lady, I am just trying to help. No, I am not trying to pick up you. Yes, maybe I am just nice, wanted to help, maybe a little "how are you" conversation. Just offering help. Yes, I saw you snicker to the other guy behind you. WTF! What you may have passed up from this little offer of complete kindness...lets see...is possibly that once in a lifetime connection that could impact your livelihood, your career, your existence. But now you will never know.

You know lady, there are guys out there who are nice, who don't try to hit on and pick up every woman they see. There are men who will hold a door not just for a woman, but for anyone that is in their proximity. There are men will offer to help anyone that remotely appears to need help, and sometimes we will offer to help even though it is apparent that its not needed. There are nice guys out there.

Sheesh...note to self...run...don't walk...run when you see her next time. Vain is the nice word I apply...who pee'd in your cheerios today?

Most guys don't complain.

Guinivere

Thank you. I appreciate your help. Even though I can get a chair to reach that... even though I can lift that heavy thing into my car from Home Depot... I like that you asked if you could help. And yes, I can open the door for myself, but I do like when you get there first and hold it for me. Thanks. I like it. :flowerforyou:

^^^ Well said, this is how I feel.

Me too, well said, regardless if it's a man or women offering to help me, if I need it I will accept with thanks, if I'm good, I'll decline graciously. Sometimes I let people help me cos I can tell they REALLY want to help (even if I'm good), because somehow I feel I'm helping them feel good by accepting their help. Does that make sense?

KANGOOJUMPS

women are just downright evil
90 percent of the time
rememeber this...
you shopuld have picked man to help.

MoJokes

Listen man, it happens. But have to say the women in the thread are making good points, if it was a man would you help?

i don't think I have ever been blown off by a woman in the gym, they usually jump in with me while I train and try to do what I do lol!

Don't worry about it, just be yourself and if you see someone in need... do what the *kitten* you want. Some don't give a *kitten*, some like you do.

MinnieInMaine

Holding open doors for people you don't know walking behind you and jumping on to someone you don't know to give your opinions is a different thing. Maybe she just wants to do her workout and not talk to everyone

You know what, I was all butthurt on OP's behalf but now that I re-read, he didn't really say exaclty how she reacted so you may very well have a point. For all we know, she said "no thanks" and walked away. Not really that unreasonable.

rduhlir

Back off weirdo, I am lifting here.

On a real note...maybe she is just one of those independant ladies who just want to do it on their own first.

LoggingForLife

It's possible that she sensed your narcissism and the fact that you believed you could make her "entire livelihood, career and even existence better" that turned her off. And whose to say that she couldn't have helped you out with a thing or two.

Saucy_lil_Minx

Thank you. I appreciate your help. Even though I can get a chair to reach that... even though I can lift that heavy thing into my car from Home Depot... I like that you asked if you could help. And yes, I can open the door for myself, but I do like when you get there first and hold it for me. Thanks. I like it. :flowerforyou:

Perfectly worded :happy:

Saucy_lil_Minx

Holding open doors for people you don't know walking behind you and jumping on to someone you don't know to give your opinions is a different thing. Maybe she just wants to do her workout and not talk to everyone

You know what, I was all butthurt on OP's behalf but now that I re-read, he didn't really say exaclty how she reacted so you may very well have a point. For all we know, she said "no thanks" and walked away. Not really that unreasonable.

I don't think the problem was that she said "no thanks" I think it was the fact she turned around, and snickered to someone else, that really hit the button "butt- hurt" problem. I could see the intention of the OP's post, but it does turn into a little bit of a rant.

dbmata

People suck, particularly ones that can't be gracious about offers or comments.

You should totally look at the whining thread someone posted about being offered help at the gym... it's like a craigslist missed connection!

Saucy_lil_Minx

women are just downright evil
90 percent of the time
rememeber this...
you shopuld have picked man to help.

Being a woman I agree. We are EVIL! :devil:
I have told my husband this several times think about it.

Guys can get into a fight, and be Buddies the next day. Women....we hold grudges! If you piss us off it's for life. You will NEVER see two women get into an all out argument, and be over it the next day. Sure we may smile at one another, and say Hi.

Secretly that smile, and Hi...is really a " Go jump off a bridge B!$#h, and do the world a favor!"


See why I agree we are EVIL! :devil:

zephtalah

Thank you. I appreciate your help. Even though I can get a chair to reach that... even though I can lift that heavy thing into my car from Home Depot... I like that you asked if you could help. And yes, I can open the door for myself, but I do like when you get there first and hold it for me. Thanks. I like it. :flowerforyou:

This! Almost everywhere I go men hold open the doors and I say "thank you" and smile. I don't think they are trying "to pick me up"; I assume they are just being a gentlemen. When I have gone to a co-ed gym and a guy offered to help with something or offered encouragement I took it at face value and if I need help I said "thank you" and if I didn't I politely declined, but thanked them for the offer. It is nice to see gentlemen acting like gentlemen. Why be offended at that?