How long will the journy take? PLZ HELP!!!

rileyhunter169

I want to become morbidly obese if I follow all the tips on the resource, how long will it take me to become a whale human?
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/HowTo:Become_Morbidly_Obese

Any additional tricks?
I tried breakfast skipping but last few times ended in weight loss. Preferably I'd like comments from the experienced. My smart goal is this:
-Gain 1000lbs by the end of next fiscal year (how long is a fiscal year?), get at least one heart attack on the way, and to gain an hour at least on my 1 mile run time (6min is too fast).

HELP PLZ!!!

OMGSugarOHNOS

Eat carbs after 8pm. Or just eat carbs in general they turn to sugar than fat! The more idle you are after eating them the more fat you gain.

rileyhunter169

I twied; it just turned into glycogen... I'm active so my nutritional partitioning is good.
http://www.leangains.com/2011/06/is-late-night-eating-better-for-fat.html
Also the mr.muscle person says it doesn't work.

psuLemon

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