Psychological warfare

bcakes81178

Ok....so I'm having an issue with myself and I don't quite know how to handle it. Do any of you feel like sometimes you're afraid of losing the weight? Like, it's your security blanket....giving you a metaphorical (and, well, I guess literal) buffer from the world? I find that I blame my weight for EVERYTHING....of course I didn't get that job, I'm fat......of course that guy didn't even look my way, I'm fat....of course they didn't call me to go out, who wants to be seen in public with someone who looks as bad as I do? And so on.

I get started, I do really well for a week or two and then BAM! I totally sabotage myself. Am I the only one??? How do you guys handle this type of stuff??? HELP!!!!

Breepa123

No you're not the only one. My weight has been the central focus in my life since I was a teenager in ballet, and it is definitely my buffer and scapegoat. I sometimes think that the reason I always regain weight that I have lost is because if I don't have a weight problem, then I would actually have other issues to work on and wouldnt' be able to blame my weight for every failing. I think people who have successfully lost weight or those who never had a weight problem accept life's problems and move on. People like me always bring it back to their weight.

Seems like its imperative to learn some new life skills along the way. I'm not there yet, so no advice unfortunately. But I'm in the same boat with ya!

dakotababy

Based on your profile pics - you may want to work on that issue with a professional.

I think when we blame the "fat" we can actually just say "That guy did not look at me, of course because I CHOOSE to be fat" instead of blaming fat - it is a flaw in yourself, not the fat.

fannyfrost

You are stating the part of the FAT cycle that most people ignore. So first off i am totally impressed that you acknowledged it out loud. Second acknowledging how you feel is the first step to moving past it.

Generally people who are overweight or have been overweight their whole lives do exactly what you are saying. That girl or boy didn't like me because I am fat, as people start losing the weight and someone doesn't like them, well the fat can't be blamed. So often it is easier to go back to eating and being fat then to face that they may not be perfect. I mean fat is something that can be blamed and its kind of changeable. However, if you are turned down by someone or don't get a job or something else well then it has to be because "I wasn't pretty enough" or "I am not smart enough" or "I am not fun". These things are harder to face. So many people change and go back to being fat.

So face the fear and move past it. It is hard, but you don't need a scapegoat. Yes sometimes in life there is rejection, but it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. No reason to blame you, it sucks, but the point is that you move past it and get to the fact that it just wasn't the right answer.

Being fat is a scapegoat, being thin will not solve everything, but knowing that and being realistic that being thin is HEALTHIER and better over all will make you realize its OK.

endoftheside

I decided no more emotional eating when I started back in January, no matter what, and there have definitely been some rough spots. I had to face a few situations where it would have been easier to eat my feelings, but instead I had to feel those uncomfortable feelings. It was kind of awful on a few occasions, the feelings and also what my reaction was when I did NOT stuff those feelings down, but it's gotten easier with time and practice. For me it has been freeing, but also humbling, and is still a learning process. I eat as much as I can (to still lose weight at a slow pace), and exercise a little bit almost daily now. Those two things help keep me on an even keel.

Ed98043

I've thought about this too. I also wonder if some of the people who do successfully lose weight but still see themselves as fat are really just grasping for the familiar scapegoat because life didn't suddenly turn into unicorns and rainbows when they got thin. I agree that it's much more difficult to face the idea that being treated poorly by other people (whether it be work, dating, etc.) may be due to flaws that are unexamined, unacknowledged or just not fixable.

MysteriousMerlin

I wouldn't say it keeps me from doing anything about it, but I am a little scared of any attention, positive or negative, I would potentially receive from a BIG change. It makes me a bit nervous to think about. A little excited to see what my face and body would look, and how I will feel mentally and physically from having the weight gone.

Desterknee

Based on your profile pics - you may want to work on that issue with a professional.

meshashesha2012

yes, but i dont blame my problems or failures on being fat. i do however a bit safer by being bigger.

there are a lot of emotional and mental aspects of being overweight (especially when you're obese) and those are sure to surface when you lose the weight. but the good news is that being aware of it makes it easier to work on :flowerforyou: