Single Indian Woman (32) wants to marry.

MM_1982
MM_1982 Posts: 374
in Chit-Chat
This has been circling the internet like a wildfire.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1sypck/guys_i_am_a_single_indian32f_woman_and_i_feel/

Cliffs:

-Women goes against traditional Indian norms.

-Slept with 18 guys total.

-Now is 32 and wants to settle down (brother and sister settled down early via arranged marriage)

-Comes off as desperate.

Thoughts? I don't know many guys that would be willing to marry her (granted I don't have a picture of her). She definitely doesn't seem like wife material IMHO. I predict cats, lots of cats for this one.
«13

Replies

  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    tumblr_me2qfqcrGI1rao0jp.gif
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
    In all honesty, it's her life and if she is happy with it who are we to judge her?
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    In all honesty, it's her life and if she is happy with it who are we to judge her?

    She posted it on Reddit and is looking for feedback. It's her life, but she doesn't seem happy about it.

    Did you even read it?
  • FatHuMan1
    FatHuMan1 Posts: 1,028 Member
    This has been circling the internet like a wildfire.

    http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1sypck/guys_i_am_a_single_indian32f_woman_and_i_feel/

    Cliffs:

    -Women goes against traditional Indian norms.

    -Slept with 18 guys total.

    -Now is 32 and wants to settle down (brother and sister settled down early via arranged marriage)

    -Comes off as desperate.

    Thoughts? I don't know many guys that would be willing to marry her (granted I don't have a picture of her). She definitely doesn't seem like wife material IMHO. I predict cats, lots of cats for this one.

    Wow. What an incredibly chauvinistic thing to say. I predict porn, lots of porn for you.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    :huh: I don't really think it comes off as desperate. Just somebody who wishes she was at a different point in life and maybe made different choices. I find that pretty easy to relate to.
  • iamanadult
    iamanadult Posts: 709 Member
    I don't know if I believe that this is "circulating the internet like wildfire":huh: .. it's not exciting or controversial at all. It's just a lady asking for advice.

    OP are you feeling okay?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    OP likes starting.controversial threads. But failed this day.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member

    Thoughts? I don't know many guys that would be willing to marry her (granted I don't have a picture of her). She definitely doesn't seem like wife material IMHO. I predict cats, lots of cats for this one.
    why?
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    I don't think that lady comes across very well. She seems to want to get married for all the wrong reasons. The bits about her ethnicity, culture and sexual history are really secondary to that unescapeable fact.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    I don't understand what makes her different than anyone else. There are a lot of women in their 30s who want to get married.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    LOL 18 she's practically a virgin
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I don't think that lady comes across very well. She seems to want to get married for all the wrong reasons. The bits about her ethnicity, culture and sexual history are really secondary to that unescapeable fact.

    She wants to get married because she sees her family with their families and wishes she had her own with somebody who has the same background as her so they could enjoy traditions she's fond of... what is wrong with that?
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    She wants to get married because she sees her family with their families and wishes she had her own with somebody who has the same background as her so they could enjoy traditions she's fond of... what is wrong with that?

    Because it can be a recipe for unhappiness for both parties when the person you want to marry is very much secondary to achieving something else - such as fitting in.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    Thoughts? I don't know many guys that would be willing to marry her (granted I don't have a picture of her). She definitely doesn't seem like wife material IMHO. I predict cats, lots of cats for this one.

    I think that this remark is consistent with your posting history. I don't think highly of you.
  • ellantz8
    ellantz8 Posts: 619
    Although I am caucasian, so I don't have all of the cultural issues that this girl is struggling with, I totally get where she is coming from. I just turned 33 last week and for the last few years I've kind of felt the same way. Did I miss my window? Did the life choices I made doom me to be alone? Why am I only attracted to men that are not ready to settle down? And when I do date a guy who is ready for all of that why do I not find him appealing?
    I'm definitely not desperate, honestly I haven't even been dating at all lately. But it is sort of depressing sometimes to see everyone around you happily married while you're like hey party of one over here!
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
    In all honesty, it's her life and if she is happy with it who are we to judge her?

    She posted it on Reddit and is looking for feedback. It's her life, but she doesn't seem happy about it.

    Did you even read it?

    No and I don't see why I should. I don't get it why you posted it and we should discuss this about her. If she would have posted it herself and asked our opinion, yeah maybe, but someone else, no...
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    She wants to get married because she sees her family with their families and wishes she had her own with somebody who has the same background as her so they could enjoy traditions she's fond of... what is wrong with that?

    Because it can be a recipe for unhappiness for both parties when the person you want to marry is very much secondary to achieving something else - such as fitting in.

    :huh: It seems like she genuinely wants her own family, and not just to "fit in"...
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    I don't think this seems desperate. To me it just sounds like a woman who made certain choices in life, and now wonders if they were the right ones and is asking for advice.

    I found it pretty sad tbh that she feels this way. I don't know much about what other cultures expect from a future spouse but plenty of non-indian women live a life just like hers. Single, sexual encounters, dating but nothing that leads to marriage/a future, freedom to make your own choices. However, western culture accepts that and makes it easier to settle down when you want to. It doesn't sound like, at least from her experience, she gets that acceptance, which is what I find sad.

    We should all be able to find love, and be respected and not judged by our past. We make choices, sometimes we regret them and sometimes we don't, but they're our own and it's how we learn. She's not harmed anyone. I hope she manages to meet someone to marry/live a life with.
  • gabrielleelliott90
    gabrielleelliott90 Posts: 854 Member
    LOL 18 she's practically a virgin

    Are you serious?
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    You're such a farking moron, OP.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    She wants to get married because she sees her family with their families and wishes she had her own with somebody who has the same background as her so they could enjoy traditions she's fond of... what is wrong with that?

    Because it can be a recipe for unhappiness for both parties when the person you want to marry is very much secondary to achieving something else - such as fitting in.

    :huh: It seems like she genuinely wants her own family, and not just to "fit in"...

    Then why has she put marriage first and the person she eventually wants to marry second? Why does she need to get married at all?

    She doesn't.

    Surely, thoughts of marriage come after you meet a person you think you can spend the rest of your life with and not before?
  • ellantz8
    ellantz8 Posts: 619
    Thoughts? I don't know many guys that would be willing to marry her (granted I don't have a picture of her). She definitely doesn't seem like wife material IMHO. I predict cats, lots of cats for this one.

    I think that this remark is consistent with your posting history. I don't think highly of you.
    :-)
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    She wants to get married because she sees her family with their families and wishes she had her own with somebody who has the same background as her so they could enjoy traditions she's fond of... what is wrong with that?

    Because it can be a recipe for unhappiness for both parties when the person you want to marry is very much secondary to achieving something else - such as fitting in.

    :huh: It seems like she genuinely wants her own family, and not just to "fit in"...

    Then why has she put marriage first and the person she eventually wants to marry second? Why does she need to get married at all?

    She doesn't.

    Surely, thoughts of marriage come after you meet a person you think you can spend the rest of your life with and not before?

    It seems she hasn't been putting marriage first at all, actually.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Ah, resident beta. 1/10, would not even accept free drink.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member

    It seems she hasn't been putting marriage first at all, actually.

    Right, with the previous 18 other men she dated it didn't seem to come up at all...

    However now she sees her friends and family members in relationships and she feels excluded from that it's high up on the agenda. Not because there is a seemingly suitable man she wants to marry even though she has had plenty of relationships from which to choose but for other reasons.

    Also rather than try and find a man through the means she has clearly found acceptable in the past she is bemoaning the fact that she has seemingly lost the option of having an arranged marriage. This wasn't to her tastes in the past but would have proved to be an easier means for her to find a "suitable boy". Like I said before this is more about fitting in now her social circle has moved on in my opinion.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    The biggest problem with this thread is that we don't have a picture of her.

    She made poor choices. She said the guys she dated never took her seriously. If she wanted to be taken seriously, she shouldn't have been with guys who did not take her seriously.

    I think she's between a rock and a hard place, but she could probably find her way out. She can't be as picky as a younger woman, but she probably could get an older guy (40-50), who is divorced with kids. May or may not be a guy with Indian ancestry.

    She should have taken her prime years (20-27) more seriously and parlayed her looks, wit, etc into something she wanted long term. She's right that often times women over 30 who have not married are looked at skeptically by men of a similar age to her.
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
    OP
    Are you this skeevy in real life, or is this just an online thing?
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
    she doesn't sound desperate....she sounds like a woman who has flown in the face of the cultural values she was raised with, someone that tried to be different and is now worried that the very values she challenged will negate her possibilities.

    its hard changing a system, especially a very built in system that operates on a core cultural value.

    she sounds hurt and worried....

    not desperate.

    She simply needs to calm down and realise that all it takes is one......not many, but one guy...

    and it won't necessarily happen on her timeline.
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
    So...there's a 32 year old woman who slept with 18 guys and is looking for a husband online.


    How is this worth reporting?
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
    OP
    Are you this skeevy in real life, or is this just an online thing?

    We all know the answer to that

Categories