Annoying CoWorkers Vent!

KatieTee83

Okay, it's time to vent.

I have a co-worker who is overweight, and who is forever making comments to me about how she needs to drop some weight, she wants to lose some weight, etc. So, cool. I encourage her when the subject comes up, we chat about strategies and things, but only when she brings it up. Other than heading out the door to hit the gym on my lunch break every day, which is obvious because I have my gym bag with me when I go, I don't ever talk about my journey to get in shape, etc. Everyone's path is their own and I make a point of not offering unsolicited advice.

However, it's starting to become really annoying to hear this lady constantly talk about wanting to lose weight and then see her eating a giant bowl of pad thai for lunch, or a huge latte and a cinnamon bun for breakfast, or a mountain of hummus and pretzels as a "healthy snack." Now, again, I recognize that those are her choices and I have never said anything like, "You know, if you want to lose weight you shouldn't be eating like that." I would never dream of butting in with something like that because we're all doing our own thing in this life.

But it's when I get drawn into the discussion that I have to refrain myself from snapping at her. Another co-worker brought in a tin of those tasty Danish Butter cookies to the office kitchen. I was coming back from my break and decided, you know what, I just ran 3miles, I'm gonna have a freakin' cookie. She was standing there talking to someone else as I opened the package and pulled out my treat. And then she said something like, "Okay, Katie, now that you're having one, I have to have one! I was trying to be good and I was standing here not eating them, but now that you've opened it..."

To which I replied, "I'm not responsible for your choices. I'm not forcing the cookie into your mouth."

This whole conversation was said in a joking tone, but I felt bad afterwards for kind of snapping. It's just like, if you're not really worried about losing weight and you want to eat what you want to eat, fine, do whatever. I'm not your coach or your trainer or your judge, I don't care what you eat. But stop trying to make me feel sorry for you and talk this big game about how you've never been this heavy in your life and you really want to lose weight, but then it's my fault that you're eating a cookie? Do you really want to open that door? Because I'll tell you exactly the truth -- I'm not responsible for you choosing to eat a cookie. You're doing that. I chose to eat a cookie and now you're choosing to eat a cookie. Be real here.

It's soo g-d annoying, and I've just been trying to keep my mouth shut and ignore it because, again, everyone's path is their own and it's not my place to tell her what to do. But I also wish she wouldn't keep fishing for like, permission to eat **** food when she talks about wanting to get healthy. I'm not going to give you permission, lady. So maybe stop talking to me about it until you want to get serious.

asimmons221

Okay, it's time to vent.

I have a co-worker who is overweight, and who is forever making comments to me about how she needs to drop some weight, she wants to lose some weight, etc. So, cool. I encourage her when the subject comes up, we chat about strategies and things, but only when she brings it up. Other than heading out the door to hit the gym on my lunch break every day, which is obvious because I have my gym bag with me when I go, I don't ever talk about my journey to get in shape, etc. Everyone's path is their own and I make a point of not offering unsolicited advice.

However, it's starting to become really annoying to hear this lady constantly talk about wanting to lose weight and then see her eating a giant bowl of pad thai for lunch, or a huge latte and a cinnamon bun for breakfast, or a mountain of hummus and pretzels as a "healthy snack." Now, again, I recognize that those are her choices and I have never said anything like, "You know, if you want to lose weight you shouldn't be eating like that." I would never dream of butting in with something like that because we're all doing our own thing in this life.

But it's when I get drawn into the discussion that I have to refrain myself from snapping at her. Another co-worker brought in a tin of those tasty Danish Butter cookies to the office kitchen. I was coming back from my break and decided, you know what, I just ran 3miles, I'm gonna have a freakin' cookie. She was standing there talking to someone else as I opened the package and pulled out my treat. And then she said something like, "Okay, Katie, now that you're having one, I have to have one! I was trying to be good and I was standing here not eating them, but now that you've opened it..."

To which I replied, "I'm not responsible for your choices. I'm not forcing the cookie into your mouth."

This whole conversation was said in a joking tone, but I felt bad afterwards for kind of snapping. It's just like, if you're not really worried about losing weight and you want to eat what you want to eat, fine, do whatever. I'm not your coach or your trainer or your judge, I don't care what you eat. But stop trying to make me feel sorry for you and talk this big game about how you've never been this heavy in your life and you really want to lose weight, but then it's my fault that you're eating a cookie? Do you really want to open that door? Because I'll tell you exactly the truth -- I'm not responsible for you choosing to eat a cookie. You're doing that. I chose to eat a cookie and now you're choosing to eat a cookie. Be real here.

It's soo g-d annoying, and I've just been trying to keep my mouth shut and ignore it because, again, everyone's path is their own and it's not my place to tell her what to do. But I also wish she wouldn't keep fishing for like, permission to eat **** food when she talks about wanting to get healthy. I'm not going to give you permission, lady. So maybe stop talking to me about it until you want to get serious.

I think your so annoyed with her you took the cookie out of context, I think it was a way for her to make excuses for her self rather then put blame on you. Though I can see the annoyance, when ever I see my mom she lectures to me when i tell her how much protein I have in my diet and she says all I need is a piece of chicken a fist size per day. All this while she talks about her personal trainer going for her seconds of a plate full of spaghetti.I mean I don't really need to see my mom if I want to, or can get away with telling her I wish not to talk about this topic. Co-workers thankfully I don't have to deal with it, just try to ignore her, people usually get the point sooner or later.

Briargrey

Doubt she was trying to blame you. She was probably embarrassed and self-conscious, knowing that she's always talking the game but not doing it, so she wants someone (you) to know that she really was trying to do it. Also, sometimes when you're really overweight and self-conscious, you try to make a joke out of taking a cookie or whatever, because you figure everyone is judging you (such as looking at how much or what you eat and thinking that she shouldn't do that).

I don't think I was ever that annoying - I didn't talk about it much unless the subject of weight loss came up, and I tended to be brutally honest about my failures and that I knew how and why they occurred and that it was all on me. I may have made a joke or two about knowing I didn't need something but having it anyway (though I tried not to because those just make everyone uncomfortable), because I wanted people to know I knew I what I was doing and to not judge me. There is a lens some people put obese people through - like we're stupid and don't know what causes it.

I think you handle it the best way you can - engage and be supportive when she brings it up, like you do, and ignore it the rest of the time. As you say, her body, her choices. She may try the talking about it to get herself boosted and then just fail...I've spent 10 years doing that since the last round of dieting. This time it's sticking because I'm not dieting. I still don't know why the switch suddenly flicked from half-hearted attempts and talking about it to doing what I needed to do. Until she has that switch flicked, she'll keep in the same vein, more than likely.

Most of us here have probably been through something similar but perhaps on a different scale.