Just want to rant

2ChaCha

I know I'm not doing my best and I have a million excuses no one finds viable except me. But I stepped on the scale tonight and was back up to my starting weight from three years ago. A lot of it came back slowly but this last ten pounds is out of nowhere. I read somewhere today, while looking for fast weight loss tips, that "you didn't gain those ten pounds in two weeks so you can't expect to lose them in two weeks." But in my case I DID gain them in two weeks. And I don't know what to do, especially with the holidays coming up. I am constantly tired. I'm a single mom so I can't get up early and go run. I'm crazy busy on my lunch break and after work with holiday stuff. I'm just angry and I don't know what to do. I can't afford a real gym so I use the fitness center at the university where I work, but right now it's on holiday hours, which is early morning or after work, both times I don't really have a sitter. Between making gifts and wrapping gifts and all my son's extra curricular and school related activities I don't get to bed till nearly midnight most nights anyway. I have bad knees and bad ankles and nowhere in my house I can even do a YouTube video without shattering the windows. Even when I was doing good, running four times a week (well, fat girl running which isn't much), no sodas, lots of water, 1200 calories a day, all wheat, strictly lean meats, lots of veggies, no fast foods, no sugar, I was still not losing weight. Three weeks of that and I gained two pounds. And it's not muscle. The doctors tell me my blood work is fine and just workout more but when??? And I can't afford all these expensive foods that I'm supposedly supposed to eat to be healthier. I just don't know what to do anymore except be huge and miserable. Thanks for listening. Any constructive suggestions is much appreciated. Just don't tell me to involve my kid in my workouts (because I have to focus more on him than actually working out and we just wind up fighting) or going to a doctor ( been five times in three years and they tell me everything's fine I'm just dieting and exercising wrong, end of discussion), or anything that costs money and extra time, both of which are things I don't have.

ndj1979

so you over ate by 35,000 calories over maintenance in two weeks? That is like 2333 a day over maintenance in two weeks…

but then how is that possible if you only eat 1200 a day ..

*mind blown*

something not adding up here...

SherryTeach

It sounds like you need to seriously re-evaluate your schedule and try to free up some time, not necessarily for working out but for emotional space. I also raised my two daughters mainly alone. I learned to be very stingy with my time and I went out of my way to simplify my life. We kept holidays simple. . . I sure wasn't making or wrapping lots of gifts. We limited our holiday commitments. In fact, my daughters did not participate in so many activities that we were running around every night of the week.

If your time is not so scheduled with commitments that you really don't need to make, you might have time to take a walk with your son most evenings and make that conversational time. While you are at it, try to catch up on your sleep. Chronic fatigue is not helpful for weight loss.

2ChaCha

I said when I was eating 1200 a day and also said I wasn't doing my best lately. But I'm definitely not eating 4,000 calories a day. I also said constructive suggestions. Not everyone can be perfect, and we don't need the perfect people making us feel even more worthless.

ndj1979

I said when I was eating 1200 a day and also said I wasn't doing my best lately. But I'm definitely not eating 4,000 calories a day. I also said constructive suggestions. Not everyone can be perfect, and we don't need the perfect people making us feel even more worthless.

OK - but that does not make sense.

You say you gained ten pounds in two weeks…but you are eating 1200 a day???

I am trying to understand what your actual intake is ….but excuse me for trying to assist..

good luck to you ...

2ChaCha

I would love to walk with my son but we live in a neighborhood with no sidewalks and he is only 6 and refuses to listen to me and it would be a constant yelling battle trying to keep him from getting hit by a car. By the time I get off work, get him, he does homework, I cook and eat dinner, it's time for his shower and bed. Most of the gift making is stuff I sell on etsy so I can afford Christmas and December bills. And a lot of our weeknight commitments are for school. I don't have much control over that. I don't know what else to do but sew my jaw shut run laps around the outside of my house in the 30 degree night instead of sleeping. But even then, the perimeter fences dividing the front and back yards pose a problem...

2ChaCha

I was. Was. Not at the moment. Not 1200 but not 4000 either. I would say closer to 2000, maybe 2500 on a weekend day.

SherryTeach

I stand by my advice. Get out of some of your and your son's activities. Stay home more, relax, go to bed early. Speaking from experience, many of the things you think you have to do, are really optional. I don't have the research to back this up, but there is a relationship between stress and weight gain.

Now that my daughters are grown, they often say that they are glad that I limited how many things they could do that required us to be away from home, usually spending far too much time in the car.

ndj1979

I was. Was. Not at the moment. Not 1200 but not 4000 either. I would say closer to 2000, maybe 2500 on a weekend day.

that is your problem you aren to accurately logging your food.

if you are guestimating you are probably eating more like 2500 during the week and 3000 on weekend.

You need to weight/measure/log everything.

You can lose weight without running/strength training, just eat in a calorie deficit...

randomtai

I was. Was. Not at the moment. Not 1200 but not 4000 either. I would say closer to 2000, maybe 2500 on a weekend day.

that is your problem you aren to accurately logging your food.

if you are guestimating you are probably eating more like 2500 during the week and 3000 on weekend.

You need to weight/measure/log everything.

You can lose weight without running/strength training, just eat in a calorie deficit...

This.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

You're making it too complicated and getting frustrated.

Get a food scale. Set your calorie goal to a reasonable amount. Log accurately and stick to your calories and macros. Create your own recipes. Weigh all the ingredients. Choose the database entries without an asterisk whenever possible for most accurate logging. If that doesn't work after a month, reevaluate and adjust.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

jofjltncb6

I said when I was eating 1200 a day and also said I wasn't doing my best lately. But I'm definitely not eating 4,000 calories a day. I also said constructive suggestions. Not everyone can be perfect, and we don't need the perfect people making us feel even more worthless.

Hmph, guess I'm out.

Best of luck with...whatever it was you wanted from this thread. :flowerforyou:



ETA: Oh, and what ndj said...

(...which feels weird just saying that. *shudder*)

SherryTeach

What kind of school has something that you have to attend every night of the week? Also, if I had a 6-year-old with that much homework, I would be the first one addressing that issue with the school. Kids that age should not have homework at all.

I would be also concerned if I had a six-year-old who "did't listen" and was too badly behaved that you couldn't take a walk or do some kind of activity in the house together. Get a fitness ball, a mini trampoline, some hand weights. On some days, a good portion of my exercise is walking the circuit of my house.

In the end, you can either make some changes to calm your life down or you can leave it the way it is and be miserable. I hope you choose the former. In my experience as a teacher, kids whose parents are unhappy end up with all kinds of problems. So either make an excuse or make a plan.

jensiegel39

One thing I was thinking you could do is buy some gym equipment cheap to have at home. You could get exercise equipment on Craigslist or online fairly cheap, perhaps some free weights. So, while you're cooking or helping your son with homework or watching t.v. or whatever, you could jump on an elliptical or lift some weights or even jog in place. I have a very small house, but many of the home exercise equipment folds up or rolls out of the way.

I definitely understand your busy schedule, but I think if there's a will, there's a way. You have to find a solution. And as for money to buy healthier food, I definitely understand that too. It is more expensive. But shop for deals. I shop only at Walmart now. I get like 5 chicken breasts for $9. Everything is a lot cheaper than my regular grocery there. If you have one in your area, you should check it out. I never have time / patience to clip coupons (sounds like you don't have that kind of time either) but you could save a lot. Perhaps enough to buy some gym equipment.

Also, some of the exercise videos don't take up a lot of space. Situps don't take up space. Pushups don't. Perhaps even get some resistance bands instead of weights. Research online some equipment that is space-saving. A lot of people work out in very small spaces. You could squeeze this in between your other commitments. I know it'll take much effort, but perhaps you'll have more energy for it. And you could set a good example for your son.

Good luck! Hope this helped.

Nicolee_2014

I'm not being mean, but when I read your 'rants' all I could see were excuses.

Good luck shifting the 10 pounds :flowerforyou:

ThickMcRunFast

I have a million excuses no one finds viable except me.

ding ding ding.

You don't need to exercise to lose weight, but you do have to eat at a deficit. Weigh and log all your food.

Step back, take a breath, and organize your life.

ndj1979

I said when I was eating 1200 a day and also said I wasn't doing my best lately. But I'm definitely not eating 4,000 calories a day. I also said constructive suggestions. Not everyone can be perfect, and we don't need the perfect people making us feel even more worthless.

Hmph, guess I'm out.

Best of luck with...whatever it was you wanted from this thread. :flowerforyou:



ETA: Oh, and what ndj said...

(...which feels weird just saying that. *shudder*)

Joff - you know I give the best advice on MFP!

Krisydee103

I would love to walk with my son but we live in a neighborhood with no sidewalks and he is only 6 and refuses to listen to me and it would be a constant yelling battle trying to keep him from getting hit by a car. By the time I get off work, get him, he does homework, I cook and eat dinner, it's time for his shower and bed. Most of the gift making is stuff I sell on etsy so I can afford Christmas and December bills. And a lot of our weeknight commitments are for school. I don't have much control over that. I don't know what else to do but sew my jaw shut run laps around the outside of my house in the 30 degree night instead of sleeping. But even then, the perimeter fences dividing the front and back yards pose a problem...

Get an affordable treadmill on kijiji or something. Buy tuna cans, its healthy and super cheap. I know its hard and you're upset but things will settle down and get better once the holidays are over and this can be your new years resolution. Try minimizing your sons curricular activities. Take "you" time, because its important that your son has a happy and healthy mama.

PikaKnight

I'm not being mean, but when I read your 'rants' all I could see were excuses.

Good luck shifting the 10 pounds :flowerforyou:

^This


http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/872212-you-re-probably-eating-more-than-you-think

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

http://body-improvements.com/2013/05/24/undiet-your-diet/

http://body-improvements.com/resources/eat/

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1122891-9-reasons-fat-loss-is-always-slower-than-you-d-like

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1105036-article-on-flexible-dieting-by-armi-legge?page=1#posts-17068746

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ihad/view/the-myth-of-good-and-bad-foods-by-eric-helms-588801

2ChaCha

How is weighing and looking up and logging everything I eat not complicated? I have a food scale and I used it. All the time. When I make recipes and weigh everything by the pound, how do I figure out how much a cup of that is worth? I found myself spending hours at work looking up and planning meals by the calories instead of actually working. And brand new or Craigslist doesn't matter. I have extra money. My son is in an accelerated program in a private, parochial school. He skipped kindergarten and went straight into first. He is strong willed and argumentative. But only with me. I know it's a problem that he doesn't listen, but nothing I have tried, included removal of privileges, taking away TV and computer time, spankings, whatever, has worked. So tell me how to make food weighing easy. And how to cook healthy that a child will also eat, because I can't afford to cook two meals at a time. I have no money even for used equipment and nowhere in my home to put it anyway. Unless I get rid of my bed or something. Which wouldn't help the lack of sleep.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. What you choose to do with yours is just that; your choice. If it doesn't include calorie counting or exercise then I don't know what results you're expecting from work you're not doing.

acogg

" And I can't afford all these expensive foods that I'm supposedly supposed to eat to be healthier." Pare down your life, stop making everything some else's fault and examine your life. I know the culture of college you are living in, trust me. People talk fast to cover up that they know nothing, self-important people who are always too busy to be personable (and to disguise how unimportant they really are). You are dismissing your life and your kids in order to serve the culture. Take a deep breath, take Christmas break to re-examine, then start being in charge of your choices. Healthy, homemade foods are much less expensive than "Organic" labeled food at the on campus food choices.

randomtai

How is weighing and looking up and logging everything I eat not complicated? I have a food scale and I used it. All the time. When I make recipes and weigh everything by the pound, how do I figure out how much a cup of that is worth? I found myself spending hours at work looking up and planning meals by the calories instead of actually working. And brand new or Craigslist doesn't matter. I have extra money. My son is in an accelerated program in a private, parochial school. He skipped kindergarten and went straight into first. He is strong willed and argumentative. But only with me. I know it's a problem that he doesn't listen, but nothing I have tried, included removal of privileges, taking away TV and computer time, spankings, whatever, has worked. So tell me how to make food weighing easy. And how to cook healthy that a child will also eat, because I can't afford to cook two meals at a time. I have no money even for used equipment and nowhere in my home to put it anyway. Unless I get rid of my bed or something. Which wouldn't help the lack of sleep.

Good luck with your weight loss journey. :flowerforyou:

ndj1979

How is weighing and looking up and logging everything I eat not complicated? I have a food scale and I used it. All the time. When I make recipes and weigh everything by the pound, how do I figure out how much a cup of that is worth? I found myself spending hours at work looking up and planning meals by the calories instead of actually working. And brand new or Craigslist doesn't matter. I have extra money. My son is in an accelerated program in a private, parochial school. He skipped kindergarten and went straight into first. He is strong willed and argumentative. But only with me. I know it's a problem that he doesn't listen, but nothing I have tried, included removal of privileges, taking away TV and computer time, spankings, whatever, has worked. So tell me how to make food weighing easy. And how to cook healthy that a child will also eat, because I can't afford to cook two meals at a time. I have no money even for used equipment and nowhere in my home to put it anyway. Unless I get rid of my bed or something. Which wouldn't help the lack of sleep.

If you cannot understand how to log then you are beyond my assistance...

ThickMcRunFast

Weighing and logging my food takes maybe 5 minutes over the course of my entire day. But if you think its too complicated...


eta: d'oh! Joy beat me to it

lilbearzmom

I'm not being mean, but when I read your 'rants' all I could see were excuses.

Good luck shifting the 10 pounds :flowerforyou:

QFT

Bobbie8786

I don't exercise much and have lost weight. Use the recipe feature on this site, put your ingredients in and voila it does the math for you. Does it take time to log your calories? Yes, yes it does. If you think there is an easier way to do it, I am afraid not. I log every bite I eat and weight every item on a digital scale.

PikaKnight

How is weighing and looking up and logging everything I eat not complicated? I have a food scale and I used it. All the time. When I make recipes and weigh everything by the pound, how do I figure out how much a cup of that is worth? I found myself spending hours at work looking up and planning meals by the calories instead of actually working. And brand new or Craigslist doesn't matter. I have extra money. My son is in an accelerated program in a private, parochial school. He skipped kindergarten and went straight into first. He is strong willed and argumentative. But only with me. I know it's a problem that he doesn't listen, but nothing I have tried, included removal of privileges, taking away TV and computer time, spankings, whatever, has worked. So tell me how to make food weighing easy. And how to cook healthy that a child will also eat, because I can't afford to cook two meals at a time. I have no money even for used equipment and nowhere in my home to put it anyway. Unless I get rid of my bed or something. Which wouldn't help the lack of sleep.

If you cannot understand how to log then you are beyond my assistance...

Yeah. Do you understand that there are various scales (at a cheap price) that allow you to switch to different measurements and that weighing and measuring are two very separate things? Do you know that on food labels, even if it says 1cup it also tells you the weight (i.e 27g or whatever)?

gigglesinthesun

http://www.acaloriecounter.com/blog/why-am-i-not-losing-weight/

I personally don't think you know what you are eating and before you start yelling at me too (the others were actually being helpful and tried to make you feel good with saying you probably didn't gain 10lbs in fat, but rather water retention and natural fluctuations), just think about it. You are stressed, busy, running around like a mad person trying to be I several places at once. You are tired and exhausted and now you are beating yourself up even more.

Take a step back and accept that nothing is going to change before Christmas, but on Boxing Day sit down and write down everything you do and see how you could streamline that process to free up some more time. It might included cooking double and putting a meal in the freezer. I know people who cook 4 mains on Sunday for the week ahead. For me is helps just to have a meal plan in place.

Once you have created a plan that includes you sleeping for however long you need, you can look at your diet. It would probably help if with the assistance of scales you would figure out exactly how much you are taking in. When people are stressed, eating is done on the run and it doesn't always register how much or little you eat, because at that point you are not thinking about eating, you are thinking about the 50 other things you need to do. There have been studies and various documentaries (for visual references) where people are asked to estimate what they ate and they always under estimated, sometimes by as much as 300%. So plan your meal, your calories, keep an appropriate deficit, and see how you go. Good luck :-)

ndj1979

http://www.acaloriecounter.com/blog/why-am-i-not-losing-weight/

I personally don't think you know what you are eating and before you start yelling at me too (the others were actually being helpful and tried to make you feel good with saying you probably didn't gain 10lbs in fat, but rather water retention and natural fluctuations), just think about it. You are stressed, busy, running around like a mad person trying to be I several places at once. You are tired and exhausted and now you are beating yourself up even more.

Take a step back and accept that nothing is going to change before Christmas, but on Boxing Day sit down and write down everything you do and see how you could streamline that process to free up some more time. It might included cooking double and putting a meal in the freezer. I know people who cook 4 mains on Sunday for the week ahead. For me is helps just to have a meal plan in place.

Once you have created a plan that includes you sleeping for however long you need, you can look at your diet. It would probably help if with the assistance of scales you would figure out exactly how much you are taking in. When people are stressed, eating is done on the run and it doesn't always register how much or little you eat, because at that point you are not thinking about eating, you are thinking about the 50 other things you need to do. There have been studies and various documentaries (for visual references) where people are asked to estimate what they ate and they always under estimated, sometimes by as much as 300%. So plan your meal, your calories, keep an appropriate deficit, and see how you go. Good luck :-)

based on OP's comments this will just be met with more resistance…

Based on her comments about not weighing/logging everything I suspect the 10 pound gain is accurate...

vtmoon

I'm trying to figure out what you want us to tell you... You know the problem and you know the solution, constructive solutions are for complicated problems, this is a simple one. If you want to lose the weight you have to control your food to reach a deficit, there is no ways around it. Trust me I wish there was some magic way to do it while I did the other stuff in my life that need to get done,, but there isn't.