have you ever used a pill for weight loss ?

im very angry at my self after dropping 50 pounds i gained up 13 pounds from my lowest weight so now im 133 ? i lost my job and have been really stressed out so i put on weight. i feel i dont eat that much but the stuff i eat isnt good for me at all (pizza is my worst enemy)
its stresful when im out have no money and a salad is 10 bucks with chicken add another 3 or 4 dollars then pizza is like3 bucks. and with having no money anymore i go to the cheap and quick thing. but now im back to a weight im not happy with and i just look and feel gross all the time.
i started to now work out but seeing no results so far.
im those people who have a REALLY hard time losing weight and it all goes to my stomach. The only thing that made me lose weight last time was either starving my self or throwing up after meals :( im tired of doing that and just want to be happy and healthy for the 1st time. Im getting married next year if all goes well but i dont want to be a "Fat" bride i want to know ill love the pictures years later and not be like "wow i was heavy then" so i been thinking of pills for a long time now but im scared to use them. are there any pills out there that can work

please no one sent me hate :( im really stressed and very unhappy with my self