"We made this special dish just for you!"

GothicaAdore

I'm being a bit of a humbug, but its just awful to be put on the spot like that. I know people are trying to be nice, but really I hate the taste of mayonnaise. Potato salad and pasta salad and it was made especially for me along with a five minute gripe about how hard it is to cook for a vegetarian. And its all mounded up on a plate set aside just for me...

Thank the Goddess for my amazing mother who swiped most of it off my plate without anyone noticing it. I ate as little as I could get away with without creating an argument.

Anyone else dealing with the holiday gift of guilt trips?

MysteriousMerlin

While their intentions were good, they're the ones who took it upon themselves to make something for you without asking you first.

There's no need to feel guilty. You're not asking them to accomdate you. I'd simply say "I really appreciate you taking the time to make something special for me, but please don't worry about it next time. I can make do with what's available."

I face this same problem. I'm diabetic and hypertensive, and when people offer me something I'm trying to avoid over and over again, you start to feel obligated to take a piece. If they can't take a simple "No, thank you" as an answer, I do tend to get a little rude. "I said, no thank you."

ninerbuff

While their intentions might have been misguided, at the very least good etiquette would dictate just saying "thanks for thinking of me". Then stealthily trash whatever it is you don't want to eat.

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bwogilvie

Sorry to hear about the guilt trip! It sounds like your hosts were thinking of you as a generic "vegetarian" rather than a person with individual tastes. The polite, generous thing to do would have been to follow ninerbuff's advice. But if this is likely to happen again, you should ask your mother to discreetly say, "Oh, it was very sweet what you did, but you know that Gothica can't stand the taste of mayonnaise. But she really likes…."

Sounds like some passive-aggressive behavior going on, too. It's not hard to cook for a vegetarian. Heck, it's pretty easy to cook for a vegan. I'm not vegan or even vegetarian myself, but a dear friend is vegan, and I cook for her a few times a month. In fact, my wife and I often end up eating vegetarian or vegan for a day or two in a row, not because we intend to, but because we want to make recipes or eat leftovers that have no meat or animal products. In the age of the Internet, anyone who claims that it's hard to cook for vegetarians is just being stubborn.

cafeaulait7

They should have pointed out 'the vegetarian food' to you but had it available for everyone. Then if you didn't want any, it wouldn't have been awkward if you happened to not like their choice.

I don't think they needed to go so far as to make you your favorite veggie meal or anything, lol. That would be super polite, but I'd feel awkward giving menus to people when I visited them They could ask for ideas, I guess, but I don't think they did wrong by not doing that.

I did have a very awkward cantaloupe experience once. It was a sit down dinner party, and the dessert was a fruit cup filled with cantaloupe and its juice. To tell the truth, even the smell of cantaloupe makes me feel ill. I discreetly mentioned how full I was from the wonderful dinner and said No Thank You. That should have been enough, right? OMG, my fiance's mom grilled me about why I wouldn't have just a little. I said after a while of interrogation that I have never been able to eat cantaloupe and that it is a lovely dessert cup, just not something I could eat. No dice. Awkward and more awkward. I really didn't touch it, though. TMI, perhaps, but I honestly have to spit out cantaloupe every time I try to eat it! Maybe I should have

mungowungo

They should have pointed out 'the vegetarian food' to you but had it available for everyone. Then if you didn't want any, it wouldn't have been awkward if you happened to not like their choice.

I don't think they needed to go so far as to make you your favorite veggie meal or anything, lol. That would be super polite, but I'd feel awkward giving menus to people when I visited them They could ask for ideas, I guess, but I don't think they did wrong by not doing that.

I did have a very awkward cantaloupe experience once. It was a sit down dinner party, and the dessert was a fruit cup filled with cantaloupe and its juice. To tell the truth, even the smell of cantaloupe makes me feel ill. I discreetly mentioned how full I was from the wonderful dinner and said No Thank You. That should have been enough, right? OMG, my fiance's mom grilled me about why I wouldn't have just a little. I said after a while of interrogation that I have never been able to eat cantaloupe and that it is a lovely dessert cup, just not something I could eat. No dice. Awkward and more awkward. I really didn't touch it, though. TMI, perhaps, but I honestly have to spit out cantaloupe every time I try to eat it! Maybe I should have

This reminded me of my own dislike of bananas, well they make me vomit. My grandmother decided that I should eat bananas because they were good for me and used to try different ways of making me eat them - in fruit salad, wrapped in bacon and grilled etc etc etc - and everytime I would vomit. If anything grandma made it worse.

Any way many years ago I went to a 21st birthday party and the dessert was pavlova with caramelized banana on top. I politely declined. The amount of pressure applied to just try a bit was unbelievable. It seems no thank you isn't enough. I think it was around about that time that I became "allergic" to bananas. It saves a lot of hassle and explanations.

bellaiabello

I am a horrible person, but this happened to me too ("Why don't you just eat a little?" "Come on, a bite won't kill you") and after the third time, I just smiled innocently, said "No thanks, I am allergic to...", made a big show of looking at the cherry cake he wanted to force-feed me, "..... cherries".
He left me alone with food after that.
Not really a good strategy when you want to show christmas spirit though.