Newly Single
pain_is_weakness
Posts: 798 Member
in Chit-Chat
Long story short I have been married since after my Jr year in high school, after almost 8 years of a rough marriage and a very abusive one I am separated, and ready to maybe start meeting friends out there. Problem is I haven't been single in forever, not really looking to bring more drama, or issues into my life so meeting someone at a bar or club is not appealing to me. Looking for someone not too far off in age and being 25 it seems that's where my generation flocks to.It has been a long journey to actually get out of my previous relationship so I need to take time and be careful of who I bring into my life, I have 2 small children. Any place in mind where you can meet someone? I literally have no clue where to meet people and online dating just doesn't appeal to me. I am a psyc major so I like to meet someone face to face to get a feel for them, make sure they aren't another crazy haha
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Replies
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MFP0
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I have been married since after my Jr year in high school
Well, this is where you goofed originally.0 -
I have been married since after my Jr year in high school
Well, this is where you goofed originally.
no **** right, realized that very soon after especially since he was 13 years older, anyways too late for should woulda coulda just asking where to meet people0 -
online dating just doesn't appeal to me. I am a psyc major so I like to meet someone face to face to get a feel for them, make sure they aren't another crazy haha
Good idea.
Grocery stores, the gym/fitness classes, retail stores, coffee shops, Meetup groups, bars/clubs. These are all in person options for meeting men. You are also lucky that you are a woman. Just put yourself out there in person, and you'll find someone.0 -
no **** right, realized that very soon after especially since he was 13 years older, anyways too late for should woulda coulda just asking where to meet people
Starbuck is decent.
Just grab a book and a coffee and make flirty eye contact with a guy you want to talk to. If he wants to talk to you, he'll come over and strike up a convo.0 -
online dating just doesn't appeal to me. I am a psyc major so I like to meet someone face to face to get a feel for them, make sure they aren't another crazy haha
Good idea.
Grocery stores, the gym/fitness classes, retail stores, coffee shops, Meetup groups, bars/clubs. These are all in person options for meeting men. You are also lucky that you are a woman. Just put yourself out there in person, and you'll find someone.
thank you0 -
Depending on where you live meetup.com is a good place or look for activities on groupon and try something new that you would enjoy and see if you could meet someone that way as there will probably be other people there trying something for the first time as well. Maybe you should look for meeting friends first and not someone to have a relationship with since you barely had time to be yourself without being a couple most of your life especially coming from an abusive relationship.0
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Depending on where you live meetup.com is a good place or look for activities on groupon and try something new that you would enjoy and see if you could meet someone that way as there will probably be other people there trying something for the first time as well. Maybe you should look for meeting friends first and not someone to have a relationship with since we barely had time to be yourself without being a couple most of your life especially coming from an abusive relationship.
that's what my plan was is to meet friends, those were some good ideas0 -
Book stores, like 2nd & Charles or the library.... Good Luck
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online dating just doesn't appeal to me. I am a psyc major so I like to meet someone face to face to get a feel for them, make sure they aren't another crazy haha
I hated the idea of online dating, but a friend set up an account for me and Imet my boyfriend online and I couldn't be happier! He's flippin' amazing.0 -
Long story short I have been married since after my Jr year in high school, after almost 8 years of a rough marriage and a very abusive one I am separated, and ready to maybe start meeting friends out there. Problem is I haven't been single in forever, not really looking to bring more drama, or issues into my life so meeting someone at a bar or club is not appealing to me. Looking for someone not too far off in age and being 25 it seems that's where my generation flocks to.It has been a long journey to actually get out of my previous relationship so I need to take time and be careful of who I bring into my life, I have 2 small children. Any place in mind where you can meet someone? I literally have no clue where to meet people and online dating just doesn't appeal to me. I am a psyc major so I like to meet someone face to face to get a feel for them, make sure they aren't another crazy haha
If you have any friends at all, ask them to have a small get-together and invite some of their single friends. Most people that I've dated, I met through mutual friends. If you really have no friends after a marriage like that, join a local interest club and start racking up friends with similar interests! I imagine this is difficult with two small children while living on your own... so maybe take the kids to play dates? You can make some friends who also have children. I noticed some of my childless friends are bothered when our parent friends bring their kids along to get-togethers. people who have kids tend not to mind if you can't find/afford a babysitter and bring the kids along to movie or game night.
http://playdates-for-kids.meetup.com/
http://www.parents.com/parenting/relationships/friendship/making-mom-friends/
I am happy to hear you have rescued yourself from an abusive relationship. It's not an easy thing to do and it takes a LOT of courage. Good job for finding a way to do what's best for you and the kids! I wish you luck on your journey as a single mother.0 -
http://www.meetup.com/
Type in your city/zip code to find social events in your area - you can filter by specific interest such as singles, sports, hobbies, etc.
Good luck!0 -
It's about time.
Congrats.0 -
My house0
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Check out Mind.Body.Green Dating (just google it). You post your idea of a local date and then go on said date with person. It is like meetup.com where the idea isn't to spend hours online but to actually make a date and go meet. Also, see if there are cooking classes or art party studios where you live or close. See if your park district does activities/classes.0
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I have been married since after my Jr year in high school
Well, this is where you goofed originally.
no **** right, realized that very soon after especially since he was 13 years older, anyways too late for should woulda coulda just asking where to meet people
Damn girl...0 -
Long story short I have been married since after my Jr year in high school, after almost 8 years of a rough marriage and a very abusive one I am separated, and ready to maybe start meeting friends out there. Problem is I haven't been single in forever, not really looking to bring more drama, or issues into my life so meeting someone at a bar or club is not appealing to me. Looking for someone not too far off in age and being 25 it seems that's where my generation flocks to.It has been a long journey to actually get out of my previous relationship so I need to take time and be careful of who I bring into my life, I have 2 small children. Any place in mind where you can meet someone? I literally have no clue where to meet people and online dating just doesn't appeal to me. I am a psyc major so I like to meet someone face to face to get a feel for them, make sure they aren't another crazy haha
If you have any friends at all, ask them to have a small get-together and invite some of their single friends. Most people that I've dated, I met through mutual friends. If you really have no friends after a marriage like that, join a local interest club and start racking up friends with similar interests! I imagine this is difficult with two small children while living on your own... so maybe take the kids to play dates? You can make some friends who also have children. I noticed some of my childless friends are bothered when our parent friends bring their kids along to get-togethers. people who have kids tend not to mind if you can't find/afford a babysitter and bring the kids along to movie or game night.
http://playdates-for-kids.meetup.com/
http://www.parents.com/parenting/relationships/friendship/making-mom-friends/
I am happy to hear you have rescued yourself from an abusive relationship. It's not an easy thing to do and it takes a LOT of courage. Good job for finding a way to do what's best for you and the kids! I wish you luck on your journey as a single mother.
thanks you, spot on for what I am needing right now, great ideas0 -
I have been married since after my Jr year in high school
Well, this is where you goofed originally.
no **** right, realized that very soon after especially since he was 13 years older, anyways too late for should woulda coulda just asking where to meet people
Damn girl...
Jr year in High School = 16 or 17. He was 30.
I believe the word for that in most States is rape.0 -
Meet someone at school? Take a class that smart guys take.0
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Thank you everyone, all have such wonderful ideas if I try them all I am sure to find someone to talk to. My goal is to open up and be friendly. Be open to people and not make assumptions based off past experiences. something very hard for me, making future people pay for past peoples mistakes. In one week I lost 12 pounds so I think I have made the best choice for myself right now. I am worried finding someone that would eventually accept a girl with 2 kids or even want to meet them later . . .also have some issues with my looks which I know is a symptom of being in the relationship I was in. Again thank you everyone I am very excited to get back out there for the first time be me and not have any rules!0
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Meet someone at school? Take a class that smart guys take.
I am being open to that, unfortunately I seem to be bad at reading people and keep flirting with married men, maybe next quarter I can meet a single guy fingers crossed0 -
I have been married since after my Jr year in high school
Well, this is where you goofed originally.
no **** right, realized that very soon after especially since he was 13 years older, anyways too late for should woulda coulda just asking where to meet people
Damn girl...
Jr year in High School = 16 or 17. He was 30.
I believe the word for that in most States is rape.
yes met him at 17 married him right after I turned 18, I would have been 19 when I graduated high school0 -
I would look somewhere that has an appeal to you. If I was single I would be looking out at the softball fields or gym since I like athletic guys, at a home improvement store since I like guys that can fix stuff, or at a library or bookstore since I like guys who read.0
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I would look somewhere that has an appeal to you. If I was single I would be looking out at the softball fields or gym since I like athletic guys, at a home improvement store since I like guys that can fix stuff, or at a library or bookstore since I like guys who read.
good idea, I like guys who are self motivated so school would be a great place. I like athletic guys too but most athletic guys don't like me yet haha, trying to get back in shape, and I like guys who like cars so car shoes would be great . . . .thank you0 -
Dont search for it, let love find you! 0
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Seriously though in all honesty.. Find some FRIENDS and leave the gentlemen be for a while.
Carve out a life and map for you and your babies. Once you get that done, you'll be in a much better position to give and receive love.
Also. I'm not sure what liking cars and shoes have to do with one another.0 -
online dating just doesn't appeal to me. I am a psyc major so I like to meet someone face to face to get a feel for them, make sure they aren't another crazy haha
I hated the idea of online dating, but a friend set up an account for me and Imet my boyfriend online and I couldn't be happier! He's flippin' amazing.
I used to hate the idea of online dating, but it really can work. I used eHarmony for a while. I ended up dating a couple guys (at different times, of course). We simply weren't compatible, but that happens. The funny thing is that I was matched with my current boyfriend on eHarmony (I knew him in real life, too)--I just wasn't ready to be with him at the time. I kind of wish that I had trusted them back then!
Good luck--after all this time, you deserve to be happy!0 -
I meant car shows, sorry. That is all I am looking for is friends. I am not in any position to be in a serious relationship as far as life map I have already done that, I know what my goals are and I know what would get in the way. Honestly not looking for a serious relationship until I graduate and I still have 5 years before I will have Dr. in my name haha, lots of time0
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Dont search for it, let love find you!
agree good luck to you OP it sounds like you've been through a lot! 0 -
Considering that you are newly single, I strongly advise you to take some time away from pursuing a relationship. You need to discover who you are without another person, heal from your marriage, and find emotional stability.
You haven't yet experienced what it is like to be a single adult, so why rush into finding someone new?0
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