I feel like a failure ... :(

Babywhedon

Many times I have tried to lose weight and every time people tell me the same things. The way to success is to eat healthy and exercise. Though I never really said this back, the one thing that would always come through my mind was "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?"

I feel that since I was a child, I was set up to fail. My parents worked all the time and I lived off of fast food and stuff you could just throw in the microwave. So as I became an adult, my eating world revolved around fast food and stuff I could throw in my microwave. Now I am 250lbs, an insulin dependent diabetic and I feel that I am going to always fail .... why? Because no one ever taught me how to succeed.

So I would love to hear some advice on success.

I know I need to exercise, but with being a single mom, a full time student and working full time. Where does one make room for that and with little time to spare going to a gym and little money, what is the most effect way to exercise everyday in a way that will help my body?

I know I need to eat better. I not only need healthier food but diabetic friendly food. I get so frustrated when I go to the store to go grocery shopping because I have no idea what I am looking for or what I am buying. Then when I start to buy things, I run into that dilemma of "I COULD GET TWICE THE AMOUNT OF FOOD FOR THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY (IF I SHOPPED UNHEALTHY LIKE ALWAYS)" So why does it always seem like it will cost me more than I can afford to eat healthy? I also have a three year old daughter I have to feed and I am not sure how to do that in a healthy way either.

I do not want my daughter to turn into me. I have always been fat. With that, I allowed for my life to be ruined in ways I can't take back. I didn't make friends because I felt like an embarrassment. I ruined all relationships because I hated myself so much that I could not believe that someone could love this nasty person. I now feel like I cannot be a good mom to my daughter because I cannot even take care of myself.

How does one change twenty five years of habit? What does eating right and exercising even mean? Can I do this or is weightless just for certain people? I want to be that success story but I don't even know where to begin. So I am asking (begging) for help. What do I do?

Jessie

britteliz1

I think the biggest thing is that you have to actually want to change. And I don't mean that you don't, but for me, the reason things is changed is because I wanted them to.

I'm someone who, like you, didn't really have a lot of information re: healthy habits when I was a kid. Even now, I kind of struggle with that, but what I found works best is to just start logging here and do it accurately.

Don't expect to overhaul your whole entire life in a single day, you know? Take it one step at a time. Invest in a food scale. Start with watching your portions. Get in the mind set that this doesn't have to be a lifetime battle, just an overhaul.

Good luck to you.

editorgrrl

I wish this had existed when I started:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

You've already taken your first step to sexy pants. You came here. Welcome!

bearkisses

you need to stop making excuses and take responsibility. When you were a kid YOU ate garbage and probably too much. YOU can't find time to exercise as a single mom, student, worker blah blah. Don't blame your parents, don't blame being single, don't blame having a child, etc.

One head of lettuce $= one value burger.$ So healthy food is not always more expensive. it just takes planning. Looking at sales. You will actually save money.

Since you asked for advise: do some reading, this place has lots of info too, google how to cook new veggies, read nutritional stuff. Do it for you, do it for your daughter.

disneygallagirl

Ditto, read how to get your sexy pants...This is awesome advice. And remember, one day at a time. Your first step in joining MFP and asking for help is a great beginning ...You are already on the road to success. You can do it.

michellekicks

It will take time. There's no end point. Start now. You're here... that's awesome. You're not a failure; you showed up. You want to make healthy changes for you and your daughter. That's excellent!

Start with small changes. Just start with tracking what you are eating now. You'll see how much it is, how many calories, how much protein, carbs, fat, fiber, etc. My only experience with diabetes was when I had Gestational diabetes. Since I wasn't on medication I was eating quite strictly to control my blood sugar. There are some tricks you can use to feel more satisfied AND keep blood sugar levels lower and more stable.

Eat protein-rich foods. This seems like the opposite of what you want to do, but the protein, despite being higher in calories to get satisfied will keep you satisfied longer and help to maintain lean body mass (i.e. muscles) while eating at a caloric deficit. Protein also slows the absorption of the higher-glycemic carbohydrates so as to keep blood sugar from spiking.

Eat real foods. Try and keep the diet foods to a minimum. 100-calorie packs are just a way to sell you less product for more money. And if you're anything like me you'll just want 3 of them anyway.

Aim for higher fiber choices wherever possible. Fiber also keeps you satisfied and slows sugar absorption in the blood.

For now, for both you and your daughter, try aiming for 5 servings of fruits and vegetables daily. Try new ones. Try things you haven't tried before. Also aim for something protein-rich every time you eat. Here are some staples in my kitchen:

Eggs & egg whites
Sliced ham (chop it up and add to scrambled eggs)
Mozarella cheese strings
Canned tuna
Cottage cheese
Greek yogurt
Chicken breast
High protein/high fiber breads - Fiber One has a high fiber high protein English muffin. Franz makes a thin bun that's awesome too.

You can do this. There are loads of success stories here... yours can be among them. Just keep choosing to make little changes that add up.

_runbitchrun

Im a mommy and work full time too, so I started working out at home and running outside. I'm broke as a joke, so getting a pricey gym membership was out the question, plus I don't want to take away time from seeing my daughter.

Work out watching TV, get your daughter involved. Mine now sits on my back when I do (or try to) push ups or planks, and lays down next to me and does leg raises with me (SO CUTE). Anything is better then sitting on the cough. Do 10 jumping jacks during a commercial.
Take it one day at a time, don't overwhelm yourself.

Good luck. Just keep telling yourself why you are doing it. And that you are the only reason you are or are not suceeding.

jenimc13

I'm relatively new here, joined a while ago, but just started consistently using the site a few weeks ago. I share your feelings of inadequacy, confusion, and self-doubt, but I'm slowly learning that healthy decisions and small steps/choices in the right direction will give you positive feelings about yourself and your ability to do this. First change the behavior, and have faith that the changes in attitude will follow.

One thing I've learned to do is cook larger amounts of healthy food - food prepping in advance. It takes the guess work out of at least a portion of the week, and often it's a yummy soup or something that feeds the soul too.

There are so many resources on this site and on many many other sites. Find what works for you. Consistency is key, but it's something I'm struggling with. I'm trying to get my eating, exercising, logging, sleep, etc, routines fixed. But as long as I'm doing better than the previous day, I'm moving forward.

You can do it. Your daughter and your long life are your motivation. My son is mine too. I wanna be there well into his adulthood, and that's worth giving this my all.

meshashesha2012

Just take it one step at a time.

Are there any types of food you like eating? well get some cookbooks and start making that at home. this will also be good habit for your kids as well as some together time.

i really love my better homes and garden cookbook http://www.amazon.com/Better-Homes-Gardens-Cook-Book/dp/0470560770. it's the one my mom had and the one her mom had. there are really some simple, quality, staple recipes in there. broke and bored and need to keep your kid busy ? well grab some flour, eggs and sugar and mix up some cupcakes.

since you're on a budget, making a menu first will be really helpful and try making stuff that has good leftover value. i grew up with a single mom who worked 2 jobs and she made lots of meals on the weekends (most of which i would help with on chopping). stuff like meatloaf, soups,chilis, roast chicken with potatoes, spanish rice, etc. she make stuff on Sunday and then we could just microwave it when it was dinner time. fresh salad was the usual vegetable since that was easy to make.

good luck!

jaharr79

Hi Jessie,

I know what your talking about the healthier foods costing more. They do, that is reality. Your probably not going to only eat a head of lettuce for supper I'm assuming when you add the lettuce and all the other ingredients together it is way more then the value burger or the tv dinners etc. I wouldn't try to change everything at once as that won't happen. I grew up with a single Mom and we picked up a lot of fast food etc. I would maybe find a four ingredient cookbook or 5 ingredient, you can get them pretty cheap and the recipes are decent and there are ones that don't cost a lot. I have found the issue with cookbooks is that they don't necessarily start with the basics either. So maybe find some that start with the basics. If you go to the library you can get a variety of cook books and some have very basic cooking. Then find what stuff you want. I think the big thing is to start eating at home. Even if it isn't as balanced as you would like. It is a start, even if you start with mac and cheese and some canned veggies its still healthier then fast food. I admit I am not very good at cooking (Im still on the making sure my meat cooks all the way through, hoping your not laughing at that) and am trying to learn the trying to cook and be healthy and it's a lot to take in.

For exercising, just try to fit in where you can. Walk some during your break at work. Things like that. Even a ten minute walk will help. There are some decent exercise dvds you might be able to do in the evening. I have a couple cool walking ones.

I hope this helps. I'm going to send you a friend request. I try to get on here everyday if I can.
Jane

bearkisses

Hi Jessie,

I know what your talking about the healthier foods costing more. They do, that is reality. Your probably not going to only eat a head of lettuce for supper I'm assuming when you add the lettuce and all the other ingredients together it is way more then the value burger or the tv dinners etc. I wouldn't try to change everything at once as that won't happen. I grew up with a single Mom and we picked up a lot of fast food etc. I would maybe find a four ingredient cookbook or 5 ingredient, you can get them pretty cheap and the recipes are decent and there are ones that don't cost a lot. I have found the issue with cookbooks is that they don't necessarily start with the basics either. So maybe find some that start with the basics. If you go to the library you can get a variety of cook books and some have very basic cooking. Then find what stuff you want. I think the big thing is to start eating at home. Even if it isn't as balanced as you would like. It is a start, even if you start with mac and cheese and some canned veggies its still healthier then fast food. I admit I am not very good at cooking (Im still on the making sure my meat cooks all the way through, hoping your not laughing at that) and am trying to learn the trying to cook and be healthy and it's a lot to take in.

For exercising, just try to fit in where you can. Walk some during your break at work. Things like that. Even a ten minute walk will help. There are some decent exercise dvds you might be able to do in the evening. I have a couple cool walking ones.

I hope this helps. I'm going to send you a friend request. I try to get on here everyday if I can.
Jane

that was an example

5 cheezburgers can cost like...7 bucks with tax

that same price can get you a bunch of lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes

You don't need to buy chicken breast, or cottage cheese to lose weight. You can buy grocery store foods that need preparation instead of freezer aisle from the box crap. Healthier food costing more is a myth. A giant load of crap and discourages people who have a real problem and have been conditioned into thinking they can't do it. They can. Even a loaf of bread and tuna is healtheir than a lot of junk that people eat, and would cost little in comparison to some of the junk she is probably buying.

mungowungo

Yep - read the guide to sexy pants and start logging everything that you consume - it can be quite an eye opener. Also when you can invest in a food scale and weigh everything.

Also it doesn't have to be expensive - frozen vegetables are generally quite cheap. Meat on special is cheap. Eggs aren't that expensive and are good for you.

You don't have to get organic everything and "diet" food is generally overpriced.

I am also a single parent and understand about lack of money but it can be done. But that being said it takes time and commitment. If the whole thought of the scale of what you are doing seems overwhelming then break it up into mini goals or just take one day at a time.

Best of luck.

mgorham13

Welcome to fat camp, I think most of us felt like failures and started searching for answers. Lucky for you you came to the right place. There are some remarkable woman on MFP search through the different forums and look at their stories you will find everything from beating diabetes, cancer, abuse and more to becoming the women they are today. They didn't have any special skills that you don't already possess, you are everything you need whether you realize it yet or not.

I hope your an app girl start with the myfitnesspal app to track calories and macronutrients ( that's protein, carbs, and fat)

There's another app I like that's also free called full fitness. It has goal specific exercises as well as a whole program of body weight exercises ( no equipment, no gym, no $$$)

It may seem overwhelming but take it one step at a time. The time is going to pass regardless, you can either be one step closer to your goals or another day behind. I hated and regretted the fact that I waited so long, it still bothers me. Your from Oregon right Just Do It!

The one thing that really made me strong was I decided I was no longer going to be a victim of my own life, I controlled my own destiny.

Visit here often, do research and don't be afraid to ask for help

Mangopickle

The past is the past, let it go. As an insulin dependent diabetic you should try to orient your diet around starches that are not grain, corn, rice or potato. Beans, peas, carrots, parsnips, rutabagas, turnips are slower carbs. If you do eat grains try to stick to whole grains like wild rice, quinoa, wheat berries not anything ground. You are way off on food price. Non processed food is half the cost or less per serving than processed junk. I just got back from krogers with 1lb of black eyed peas, 1large spaghetti squash,2 celery,2 avocado, 1 can tomato paste, 1 can chopped tomatoes, 1 tub of ricotta, 1large eggplant, 1 box of raisins. Just over $17 including 10%tax. That is a lot of food!!! If you need cheap or free organic meat go to hunters for the hungry. Hunters donate deer to provide hungry people quality organic protein. I will turn my tomatoes, eggplant and ricotta into a noodle free lasagna with the addition of the ground venison from this years hunt. Start with some basic recipes like beef vegetable soup and develop your cooking skills. You tube has tons of great cooking videos to teach you how to cook about anything. When my hgba1c got to 5.8 I got the grains out of my life. My diet is now 97-98% grain free. Good luck.

IkirPaulson

This may anger a lot of people, but I have never lost weight when I exercised because I ate it all back (and then some!). Not to discredit exercise, because it is definitely good for you, but changing how much I eat has been the real game-changer for me. The only issue with that is I am used to eating A LOT of food. Drastically changing the quantity is quite difficult.

Baby-steps.

You're a busy woman and can't do it all, so DO NOT beat yourself up for it. Start by increasing your vegetable intake to five servings a day by replacing an otherwise useless snack.

Sabine_Stroehm

You're diabetic? Get yourself started by learning about the glycemic index and the glycemic load. Look for foods that are nutrient dense. Choose lean meats, low fat dairy, and fiber rich, nutrient rich, low starch carbs.

For a good primer on all of this, read the South Beach Diet Supercharged. He has several chapters on diabetes, and pre-diabetes and on building your diet around nutrient rich, low glycemic foods (which can include pizza and other comfort foods).
Best of luck and PLEASE feel free to send me a friend request! I'd be happy to be your buddy on this journey.

castadrora85

my family is French so all we live off of is fried fatty foods. I was got pregnant with my son (I was 250 pre pregnancy) and during my pregnancy I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I bawled my *kitten* off because once you are diagnosed, you have such a high risk of developing type 2 diabetes later in life, and trust me, insulin and checking your sugars for 20 weeks was agony. I had to see a specialist and TRAIN myself to eat these foods I never once grew up eating. Dieting wasn't something I thought of doing. I just loved my food and I loved being lazy.

Having a scary life event such as GD, was enough to encourage me to lose weight. It is said that once you lose 10% of your body weight, your chances of getting type 2 diabetes drops SIGNIFICANTLY.

I know it seems tough now but once you get into the groove, it is so much easier and SO much rewarding. I see now that when eating the right foods, you feel energized (whereas before I was always tired and literally lazy as hell). Now I can keep up with my 17 month old who has the energy of 3 adults on a coke binge lol

I found exercising was a great stress relief (instead of food) and once I exercised in the morning, I found it even easier for me to control my food because it took me 1 hour to burn 300 calories... and having 4 cookies would just ruin all the hard work I had done to burn those calories.

No one said losing weight was easy, but it certainly is rewarding

If you need to chat, we're all here... struggling the same way.

Good Luck!

W0rthless_Her0

I wont tell you what to do. While we all arent special snowflakes we all do need to figure out what works best for each of us. Most winners that I know have 2 things in common. #1 They know what its like to be at the bottom and really dislike being there (most of us have already been here) #2 Have a positive, never give up attitude. You will eventually figure it out...just never stop trying to figure it out....

maQmIgh

Dont try to do too much in one go or you'll just hate the whole experience and quit.

I spend my childhood moaning about my parents meals, so much so that they gave up cooking for me...

I lived off of anything i could prepare:

Crisps
Toast
Microwave meals, and
Fast food joints

I still live off microwave meal, just because I work 12hrs a day, working days, nights and weekends.. by the time if worked 12hrs and done the 1hr journey time (each way) Im in no mood to cook anything.

The magic numbers that you need to look out for is INTAKE and EXPENDITURE... as long as you burn more calories (in either day to day moving. or exercise) than you eat... You WILL lose weight.

You just need to find out what works for you the best to gain that magic number.

Good Luck in your journey... Stick with it, no matter how hard it feels... Youll be glad you did

xxx

lightinfl

There's plenty of good advice about foods and eating healthy... and the idea of checking the recipe books at the library are good, but you can also google recipe sites while the little one is playing nearby or sleeping. I recently discovered quiche (really simple dish made with skim milk, lowfat cheese and eggs, add some veggies and left over meat and it's not such a hard thing to stick in the oven... and easy to microwave, kid friendly , etc) I do a lot of my cooking and food preparation on the weekend and freeze it in individual portions I pull out for my lunch boxes or dinners... check out once a month cooking. They have all sorts of things you can make when you are off and stick in the freezer to pull out later. Doesn't have to be expensive and you can do your cooking when you have the time. I found an excellent Food Saver at Goodwill for less than $5- works great, just like new and allows me to freeze all sorts of meals without worry of freezer burn but ziploc freezer baggies work, too, if you don't plan to keep them in the freezer for a long time. Plan out your meals ahead of time and if it helps, write them down on an index card so when you are short of time, you can pull out a card which tells you what to eat that keeps you in your calorie count. Find out what works for you and your limited time... and then do it Don't let yourself or anyone else make you feel like you can't do it.

But really, I came with the intention of giving you some ideas on how to incorporate exercise into your already busy day. When you are home/off work, take the little on on a walk with her- push her in a stroller, pull her in a wagon, put her on your shoulders/back and take off for a short trip around the block or however far you can make it. The indoor exercises can happen but I bet you and she will enjoy some outdoor time as a change of pace. Stop on the way home sometimes and just go for a walk around the store... one of the big stores. Put her in a cart and "drive " her down each aisle... complete with sound effects and giggles. Laughing is good exercise and you'd be surprised at how much fun you can have. This is an exercise trip... no shopping until you've done the store If you need to pick something up, go back for it ... you are getting your cardio out of the way first, LOL. Some nice day, take her to the park and chase a ball around with her, push her on the swing... sit on the swing with her in your lap and pump your legs up and down to swing both of you. Wear jeans, get onthe ground and balance her on your feet in the air so she can fly like an airplane. Learn to play all over again... kids are really a lot of exercise in a very fun way

annettebloodworth

Hello