Turning 40 in only a few days worries

Spiderkeys
Spiderkeys Posts: 338 Member
in Motivation and Support
Mid 2013, I thought to myself, turning 40 is going to be bad enough, but I felt I didn't want to turn 40 as fat as I was, so I shredded 38kg, (121kg to 84kg) much more I could of expected, in that time.

In only a few days time Ill turn 40, so far ive coped and happy with the 'new' me, I achieved something, I won't turn 40 fat, instead I look like a slim 40 year old, and so far have coped, but now only a few days ive felt heartbroken, depressed and just cannot sleep, I just want to get this dreadful moment out the way, the 5th of January won't come quick enough, but looking much more forward to the 6th (the day after my bday), as then its done and over.

Suddenly the future is scary, so asking for anyone who's already over 40, which is worse, the lead up to 40, or after you turn 40?
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Replies

  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    The dread was way worse than the reality. (I'm halfway to the big five-oh.)

    Congratulations on all the hard work. You got fit by 40!
  • GiveMeCoffee
    GiveMeCoffee Posts: 3,556 Member
    40s have been great for me. But I never put much time into worrying about getting older, it happens. Maybe I don't think of it the same as others but I was told I had 6 months to live 12 years ago, so I celebrate every year and what new challenges that age will bring. I will say hot flashes could stop any day now, but other than that life is fun. Stop sweating the number and enjoy it.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    40 really didn't bother me, neither did 30. I think it was 38 that was rough (due to a difficult break up). I feel more confident in who I am and where I am going. It's been an interesting journey, and I look forward to seeing where I will be in five years. Perspective is the only thing that stands in the way of a Happy 40th and a miserable one. You have accomplished great things this year. What do you want to do next year? Or the next several years?
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
    40 is still young for any man who isn't playing professional sports. As long as you take care of yourself, you really won't deteriorate that quickly. Talking to my dad, he recognized that at around 27-35 he was at his strongest. Then from about 35-50 that he didn't really lose any strength but was definitely unable to reach where he was when he was 30. All he noticed, from 50-60, was he required some more time to recover from a physically challenging day. From 60-68 he noticed his strength starting to decrease noticeably and his recovery time continually increasing. He has always been an elite, physically gifted person, so perhaps the average person will begin to notice a decrease in strength and recovery time earlier.

    I think, at 40, you really have nothing to worry about. Keep living as healthily as you can and you're fine. You might not even be at your peak yet depending on how you took care of yourself earlier in life.
  • Spiderkeys
    Spiderkeys Posts: 338 Member
    Guess from this point is to keep the weight off, and turning 40 didnt bother me much until tonight that is, just felt like the world by passing by me, just gonna make the day as quiet as possible, try to forget the number.

    30 just looks like 20, I don't even remember my 30th, 40 is a noticeable number on its own

    Thanks, for your replies, the dreaded moment will just pass by despite the invisible permanent stamp im about to get on me for the rest of my life.
  • Spiderkeys
    Spiderkeys Posts: 338 Member


    I think, at 40, you really have nothing to worry about. Keep living as healthily as you can and you're fine. You might not even be at your peak yet depending on how you took care of yourself earlier in life.

    True! I walk longer and have more energy than ever before, I hate thinking 30-35 is the retirement age from fitness!
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
    Huh, very different perspective. I was freaked out because I was in NO SHAPE to be in my 40s. If you do a triathlon (even just the little mini tri-for-fun ones - and they are!), the toughest group out there is the 40-something. That's for women. But take a look at the men, and you might be surprised at just how strong the 40-50 year olds are :-)

    Plenty of people are fit in their teens and twenties. No decades of poor habits weighing them down. Yet, there's a HUGE wave of folks now in their 40s and 50s who are setting PRs. I personally know a fair number of men who did their first Ironman-length triathlons in their 40s or 50s.

    This article is rather entertaining, and focuses on the guys who've taken to cycling, but the awesome thing is people are getting off the couch and doing things, rather than concluding their best days are over on bday #40.
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10965608

    Another fluffy feel-good move is watching The Expendables or RED (and both have sequels). There's a market for those movies: 40+ crowd that still believes in kicking *kitten*.

    If a particular day is bothering you, why not poke at that a bit? Are you having regrets about what you have/haven't accomplished? How you thought things would be? You might as well think about it now, because it won't be prettier when you hit retirement age. Most of us find John Lennon was irritatingly spot-on with the line "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." Tru dat.

    Look around - it's being said that 40 is the new 30, or even 20 in many respects. Smile and RUN with it!

    -turning 45 this summer,

    Now off to hike in snow. Life is too short to be getting in your own way.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    i never got what the big deal is with turning 40.

    age is about how you feel more than the number. i mean the way some people talk you'd think they were going to stuff their pockets full of rocks and walk out into the sea
  • tcmom72
    tcmom72 Posts: 32
    The anticipation of 40 was worse than the reality. It was quite liberating actually. I turn 42 in February. Turning 40 motivated me and I am in better shape and much smaller then I was in high school.
  • ilgirl733
    ilgirl733 Posts: 30 Member
    i feel your pain! i turned 40 within the last few months and DREADED it. It was as though that day was coming and it was a big black hole. Once the day came, i spent the whole day in bed, crying etc. This was not how my life should be at 40!

    Looking back, it was so silly. Now that i'm past that date, i really feel like a huge weight has been lifted off. I have embraced 40 and you should too!
  • ilgirl733
    ilgirl733 Posts: 30 Member
    The anticipation of 40 was worse than the reality. It was quite liberating actually. I turn 42 in February. Turning 40 motivated me and I am in better shape and much smaller then I was in high school.

    i agree with this ! liberating
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I'm 39 so still in the run-up. For me, it's not so much the number as it is that in just the last couple of years I've really started taking some stock in my life and health and really enjoying my life for the first time and I'm like, "damn...I wasted a lot of time and did some damage here." I tend to think about things like how the last 20 years or so have just flown by...and well...the next 20 probably will too and all of a sudden I'm 60. It doesn't help that my dad recently passed away at the age of 61...granted I'm taking far better care of myself than he ever did, but it's still there on my mind.

    I know for certain that I will be more fit and healthier at 40 than I was at 30...but still. I guess what bothers me most is how much time I wasted not loving life and now that I have my **** together I'm like, "crap...I'm like halfway to end game here."
  • Rockstar_JILL
    Rockstar_JILL Posts: 514 Member
    My 40's have been the best years of my life!! I am fit, happy, and at peace with most things going on in my life.
  • SCV34
    SCV34 Posts: 2,048 Member
    Mid 2013, I thought to myself, turning 40 is going to be bad enough, but I felt I didn't want to turn 40 as fat as I was, so I shredded 38kg, (121kg to 84kg) much more I could of expected, in that time.

    In only a few days time Ill turn 40, so far ive coped and happy with the 'new' me, I achieved something, I won't turn 40 fat, instead I look like a slim 40 year old, and so far have coped, but now only a few days ive felt heartbroken, depressed and just cannot sleep, I just want to get this dreadful moment out the way, the 5th of January won't come quick enough, but looking much more forward to the 6th (the day after my bday), as then its done and over.

    Suddenly the future is scary, so asking for anyone who's already over 40, which is worse, the lead up to 40, or after you turn 40?

    It wasn't scary for me at all. I hit 40 June 2011. It was a day like any other, I was vertical and happy:happy:

    You got this, it's just a number. So no worries or dread. You are going to look back and wonder what all the fuss was about.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    43 here, and I don't even remember what I did on my 40th birthday. I was having a really great time in my late 30s, so what was a birthday going to change about that?

    I'm still not bothered about being in my 40s. I do wish there were a good cream for some wrinkles creeping up, and my skin gets drier. That's it. Other than wrinkles and skin stuff, I don't think there has to be much about being older that is noticeable. Certainly the body still builds muscle, etc! No worries there, guy. I think folks usually just don't keep that up as they get older, truly. If someone never lifts, they'll lose muscle as they age, yes. And they'll put on weight as their metabolism slows. You don't have to, though!

    I've dyed my hair since I was 14, so that's no problem except now I dye my eyebrows too, lol!
  • Anonycatgirl
    Anonycatgirl Posts: 502 Member
    I'm about to turn 50 and panicking a bit about that, but my 40s have been very positive. If I was dreading anything before the big 4-0 (and honestly I can't remember if I was), it didn't happen.

    I wouldn't advise "Keeping the day quiet." Plan something exciting and a little edgy for around the dreaded day, but something that isn't classical "birthday." Go skydiving. Start training for a triathalon. Something wacky like that. I did a bellydance performance the week of my fortieth--definitely kept me from feeling old and stodgy! (Hmm, maybe I should plan one for the fiftieth, if I can lose enough to get back into my costumes.)
  • robbienjill
    robbienjill Posts: 456 Member
    I turned 40 in July and I thought I was gonna die. But ya know what? I made it! It's not bad, it's actually amazing! You will be just fine! :flowerforyou:
  • 1brokegal44
    1brokegal44 Posts: 562 Member
    It's only a number. I'm healthier and in better shape now than I was at 20 or 30.
  • pa77y
    pa77y Posts: 36
    53 here... I remember the panic I felt at 39, because of the milestone. But that too will pass! Just focus on becoming a better version of you and forget about the age thing! Accepting friend requests..
  • Julesbait
    Julesbait Posts: 190 Member
    I'm not far behind you. I'll be 40 in February. I'm not dreading it at all. For the first time in my life, I feel like I've got my $h!t together. (For the most part, anyway.) You definitely do health-wise. So you're already ahead of most people at this point.

    Life is what you make it. Make it count, and face it head-on, no fear. Happy birthday! :)
  • Spiderkeys
    Spiderkeys Posts: 338 Member
    3 more days to go, not dreading it too much, just this year 2013, I lost my job, moved far away, lost contact with most of my friends, feeling i'm forgotten, and with all the weight i've lost, the old me no longer exists, but yeah your replies have made me feel better, there is life after 40, ive onlyy heard negatives from people i know that are already 40, like "life's downhill after 40", yet i'm fitter than I can ever remember myself being, and trying to stay postive, wish me luck!
  • mjcongleton
    mjcongleton Posts: 9 Member
    I will turn 40 on Feb. 15th this year (2014). I haven't thought of it much until your post. Looking back it was my 30s where I finally grew up, particularly the last 3 years.

    I guess that means in my 40s I will have to branch out and use what I've learned in my 30s to continue on my journey. Little by little I'm changing for the better.

    One thing is certain, though, I certainly respect the aging process! I can literally sit down every year and think about how dumb I was just 5 years earlier. I could do it at 25, 30, 35, and can do it today at 39. 40 will be just another milestone in my journey of becoming who I am.

    To the OP. If you are so apprehensive about turning 40, maybe it is because you aren't were you wanted to be by 40? If that's the case I would not sweat it. I'm nowhere near what I would like to be yet, and due to some poor choices, and a certain lack of knowledge, some of my choices in my teens, twenties and thirties will continue to haunt me. However, what I accomplished in my 30s was better than what I accomplished in my 20s. and I really do believe what I accomplish in my 40s will be better than what I did in my 30s.

    But for me 40 is just a marker. A placeholder separating the completion on my 30s and the beginning of a new segment of my life. And if what the other posters on this thread are saying is true, then my 40s should really be Kick A** compared to the rest of my life, which sort of means it's a new beginning worth celebrating.
  • Spiderkeys
    Spiderkeys Posts: 338 Member
    To the OP. If you are so apprehensive about turning 40, maybe it is because you aren't were you wanted to be by 40?

    Thats exactly how I think, right I think what did I achieve and where am I now, answer: nothing and nowhere.

    To diet and get into shape before I hit it, was just correcting an error I let myself become in my 30s, had I eaten healthly and stayed fit in my 30s, this diet would not of been necessary.

    Goal in my 40s is to maintain from weight and hopefully I might one lose a bit more and reach my goal, I get to enjoy the weight I was in my 20s in my 40s, (The 30s was just fat me).

    So I suggest to anyone if going to turn 40 within 6 months and dreading to turn 40 out of shape, start getting into shape now, it won't be too late...
  • HBMairi
    HBMairi Posts: 84 Member
    Ah its not so bad! If you feel life is passing you by, look at the reasons you think that and do something about it.
    Im turning 43 next week!!!
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    I'm loving my 40s... I feel like I'm finally getting my act together. :bigsmile:
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
    I'm loving my 40s... I feel like I'm finally getting my act together. :bigsmile:

    Maybe ill also get my act together after the next 20years :glasses:
  • classc1
    classc1 Posts: 42 Member
    I turned 40 yesterday so I completely understand. The lead up to it is definitely worse. Today, the day after, feels like any other day. I am actually in better shape than I was 20 years ago so I feel great!!! Eating right and exercising as we all know is key.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    The anticipation of 40 was worse than the reality. It was quite liberating actually. I turn 42 in February. Turning 40 motivated me and I am in better shape and much smaller then I was in high school.

    i agree with this ! liberating

    :drinker: If you take good care of yourself you'll be loving life.
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
    I hear you. I started already when I turned 30, I didn't like it a single bit. Now in my 40s I still got it. I dread getting older.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member

    Suddenly the future is scary, so asking for anyone who's already over 40, which is worse, the lead up to 40, or after you turn 40?

    There are people in their twenties who live on the couch and watch TV for hours and never pursue their dreams.

    I'm age 59. I'm in the best shape I've been in years. I can hike 10 miles without breaking a sweat. I went back to college a couple of years ago to work on another degree (I love learning). I thought I would be too old to do well, but I've made the dean's list with a 4.0 average both years (better than when I went to college the first time).

    You can do anything you want to do in life. You can't stop the clock so live well, enjoy life, pursue your dreams, get up every day not with fear and anxiety, but to relish the day. Do something you really want to do today. Push your boundaries. Age is just a number.

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