Kahlie's journey

pain_is_weakness

I am inviting everyone here to help me with my journey or just hang around and watch it develop. I come from an obese family, I was a normal sized child until I was molested at 7 years old. Started getting "chunky" as my grandma and mom called it. By jr high and high school I felt so bad about the way I looked that all I fund was deadbeat relationships with mean guys saying "I will love you if . . ." "you are pretty in the face but . . ." "do you know how hot you would be if . . ." and I started to believe that someone else could tell em my self worth. Right now I am going to admit my full weight, something very hard for someone who tries to hide it from everyone including herself. I am 265 and only 5'5". I hit my "limit" at 280. Dropped 40 pounds and got pregnant, now trying to jump back on here after having my wonderful baby daughter. I am going to school and finishing up with my psychology degree and would love to have my outer strength and healthiness match my inner. I am a firm believer that there is a direct correlation between the mind and body hence why we gain weight in times of stress or sadness. I have made drastic improvements in my mental health as I have spent my whole education reflecting upon who I am and taking account for what I like about myself and changing what I don't. I am dropping weight I feel because I am ready to and want to so badly. I have two beautiful children to live for and was diagnosed with cancer last year so I am trying for overall health right now. Not a bad cancer so please dont worry but when diagnosed at 23 it really makes you look at what is important in life. And my health is important not just for me but for my kids. Please, any help is appreciated because honestly if I knew how to beat this I would have by now.

My struggles are eating when I am emotional Stress, sadness, anger, stress, stress, stress lol. I also need help getting more water down, not a big fan but it needs to be done. At one point in my life I loved water because it was the key to losing the 40 I had lost before. I am the only one that needs to lose weight in my house so it is very hard to be around my family who eats whatever they want. Today I have done well, resisted every temptation by telling myself I can wait to eat that on my treat day. I say unless it is not something I know I will have in the next 3 months then it can wait and if I really need to have a taste I am using the 3 small bites rule. Please please help me. I am 25, fairly active as far as keeping up with two young kids but trying for a cheap gym membership as I am the cheapest person ever and I know if I pay for something I will use it lol. Thank you everyone!