mind over matter?

Psychology says, unexpressed emotions will never die. They become buried in your mind & can often destroy
you mentally.

ultimately state of mind is detrimental for a healthy sense of self.
However sometimes things are said that we just cant forget and effects us in some way or another

Confession time to heal and let go -

my dad told me he knew i was a b***h from the day he met me at the age of one - he recognised my eyes them and knew - i had the eyes of a b***h and he knew i would be a failure when i was 10. I will always feel like a failure now no matter what it has wounded my perception of myself. Today i confess and release my self. It
Anybody else, let go and release yourself. It is important to have a good state of mind, mentality and mental health on this journey. it is not all about numbers but self esteem, confidece and pshologicall healthy aserll as physically. Both come hand in hand

Replies

  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Your dad is a total richard, and he said whatever he knew would hurt you the most. It's probably not even true.

    ETA: I'm sorry this happened to you and I truly hope you find the healing you need by letting it out.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    That is a horrible way your father treated you. I do understand. You don't need him in your life. And I know a part of you will always feel pain to remember that and have gone through it. And it's going to be tough to heal from it. But, you can heal your perception of yourself, it takes a lot of work, and ongoing work, but you can do that!! And speaking about it, is one of the best starts towards doing this! There is a good book called "Opening Up" by James Pennebaker about his scientific research behind how writing about your traumatic experiences and emotions in a productive way (not just venting) is actually good for your physical health. Just like you are doing!
  • nazish17
    nazish17 Posts: 61 Member
    That is a horrible way your father treated you. I do understand. You don't need him in your life. And I know a part of you will always feel pain to remember that and have gone through it. And it's going to be tough to heal from it. But, you can heal your perception of yourself, it takes a lot of work, and ongoing work, but you can do that!! And speaking about it, is one of the best starts towards doing this! There is a good book called "Opening Up" by James Pennebaker about his scientific research behind how writing about your traumatic experiences and emotions in a productive way (not just venting) is actually good for your physical health. Just like you are doing!

    Thanks pal, i am releasing myself from the pain in any way possible and will eventually start living for myself and living upto my potential. This is release from emotional damage. A step at a time i am reclaiming my life, i will change my self perception and improvr my low self esteem.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    That is a horrible way your father treated you. I do understand. You don't need him in your life. And I know a part of you will always feel pain to remember that and have gone through it. And it's going to be tough to heal from it. But, you can heal your perception of yourself, it takes a lot of work, and ongoing work, but you can do that!! And speaking about it, is one of the best starts towards doing this! There is a good book called "Opening Up" by James Pennebaker about his scientific research behind how writing about your traumatic experiences and emotions in a productive way (not just venting) is actually good for your physical health. Just like you are doing!

    Thanks pal, i am releasing myself from the pain in any way possible and will eventually start living for myself and living upto my potential. This is release from emotional damage. A step at a time i am reclaiming my life, i will change my self perception and improvr my low self esteem.

    Wonderful! And it's completely understandable how you feel, and the process you need to go through. It's ok to be honest about that and not deny it. Facing it honestly is what will help you actually heal, rather than pushing it aside. So often people say to just let it go (without doing the emotional work that is needed) and that just pushes it underground and comes back out again and again. Better to face it honestly and do the work that you need. :heart: When I was a newborn baby my bio father said that I was so ugly he was afraid he would never be sexually attracted to me. There was a lot of abuse in my childhood.
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
    He probably saw the complete opposite of what he told you, only because he was afraid that you were a better person than him. Don't let someone else define your reality.
  • JamieBeth19
    JamieBeth19 Posts: 47 Member
    That is rough to hear from a "parent". I saw a quote once that said something along the lines of building your child's self esteem up really high because the world will do nothing but try to tear it down. This may be something you will have to do a lot of for yourself, but keep it in mind for when/if you have children. The only thing you can do is set your mind free from his insults and be a better parent than he could have ever been to you. Good luck! I will add you, I would love to help with support.
  • nazish17
    nazish17 Posts: 61 Member
    That is a horrible way your father treated you. I do understand. You don't need him in your life. And I know a part of you will always feel pain to remember that and have gone through it. And it's going to be tough to heal from it. But, you can heal your perception of yourself, it takes a lot of work, and ongoing work, but you can do that!! And speaking about it, is one of the best starts towards doing this! There is a good book called "Opening Up" by James Pennebaker about his scientific research behind how writing about your traumatic experiences and emotions in a productive way (not just venting) is actually good for your physical health. Just like you are doing!

    Thanks pal, i am releasing myself from the pain in any way possible and will eventually start living for myself and living upto my potential. This is release from emotional damage. A step at a time i am reclaiming my life, i will change my self perception and improvr my low self esteem.
    Wonderful! And it's completely understandable how you feel, and the process you need to go through. It's ok to be honest about that and not deny it. Facing it honestly is what will help you actually heal, rather than pushing it aside. So often people say to just let it go (without doing the emotional work that is needed) and that just pushes it underground and comes back out again and again. Better to face it honestly and do the work that you need.eart: When I was a newborn baby my bio father said that I was so ugly he was afraid he would never be sexually attracted to me. There was a lot of abuse in my childhood.



    that is very unfortunate to hear, sad that the one source that shpuld offer unconditional lovr often fails. abuse is abuse weather that is emotionally, physical or psychological its wrong and damaging. I can relate to the chilhood.
    to healing and letting go. parents have a very dominating role in their childrens lifes, some abuse that. Despite anuthing i love them i really do but i have to live for me. I am begining to do that slowly and make the decisions i need to for myself.
    My heart goes out to you, Every person is beautifull in there own way, you are special and unique (: remember that.
  • My dad says that to me all the time. He also calls me fat all the time when I've never been even slightly over weight. I know how you feel, it's so horrible that someone who supposedly loves you only seems to want to hurt you. But I'm still trying the mind over matter thing!
  • nazish17
    nazish17 Posts: 61 Member
    That is rough to hear from a "parent". I saw a quote once that said something along the lines of building your child's self esteem up really high because the world will do nothing but try to tear it down. This may be something you will have to do a lot of for yourself, but keep it in mind for when/if you have children. The only thing you can do is set your mind free from his insults and be a better parent than he could have ever been to you. Good luck! I will add you, I would love to help with support.


    Thanks for the advice - I havent seen much of life as i am 18 so i do ttake other people more experienced in life and its dealings on board. I hope that my experiences will only make me a better person.
  • nazish17
    nazish17 Posts: 61 Member
    My dad says that to me all the time. He also calls me fat all the time when I've never been even slightly over weight. I know how you feel, it's so horrible that someone who supposedly loves you only seems to want to hurt you. But I'm still trying the mind over matter thing!

    i can 100% relate with that one aswell. I was chubby not fat and i was targeted for it.
    Use it to spur you on and motiavte you. its what i do i use the hurt and self drive to fuel me to carry on acheive my goals. just make sure you are doing it for you and not to prove anything to anyone else. the journey has to be to help you find yourself and happiness. dont let anyone succeed in brining you down. make it about you thats where the success and happiness lies.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I also use it to fuel me. Having a good life is the best response to it. Not letting it take you down or ruin your life.

    Also, I understand. Of course you will always love your parents, no matter how they have hurt you. I understand that!