Partner or No?

JONZ64

Today in the gym I was approached by a coworker, who said "Wow, man I knew you were working out but you are really hitting it hard. I need that! I'll meet you here every morning at 5am" He didn't ask if I wanted a workout partner, he just assumed I would be ok with it. I told him, I don't really like partners and I'm not really "qualified" to train someone, the gym has personal trainers if he really wants someone to train him.He was pissed but thats the way I feel.

I have worked out most of my adult life (except for my horrible early-mid 40's) I have done most of my workouts without a partner.
I had workout buddies when I started in my teens & 20's, who were good, we would push each other and it was somewhat fun, but as I got older I found myself just looking to get in & out and have a quality workout without waiting on someone else. If I need a spot I just grab a regular and ask.

Anyone else have thoughts on partners, the pros & cons?

randomtai

I workout with my boyfriend. He does his thing. I do mine. Sometimes we will spot each other or ask about form checks. It is nice.

JONZ64

I will add that I prefer to run with a partner. I run much better when I am being pushed by someone and you can't always count on the cops to do it:laugh:

loztandfound

Hell no! might travel to and from the gym with someone, and yes it's handy if you're doing free weights, but my opinion is that if you can talk while you work out, you aren't working hard enough!

kdb247

:noway: No Partners for the Kid


I had several tag-alongs in my twenties and found it troublesome. They were always late, talk too much during cardio and just plain needy. In my opinion they only went to socialize and perhaps burn a few calories in the process. Nothing is wrong with that however, I prefer socializing outside of the gym. When at the gym I have my game face on. I take my workouts very serious; if I didn't I probably wouldn't do it. I really enjoy zoning out into another dimension alone; it makes me feel Super.

livingleanlivingclean

I workout with my husband. We do the same training routine, spot each other and encourage each other. I don't really like working out on my own, and not really comfortable working out with other people without my husband.

I wouldn't be training with a (sort of) random...you need to "fit" with them!

DawnieB1977

I work out with a friend sometimes, we do a little weights routine together. We do some cardio together, but she has a problem with her knees so can't do certain things I like to do, so sometimes I put on my iPod and do my own thing, and she does hers.

I think meeting someone there motivates you both to go, even if you both have headphones in and ignore each other!

Myhaloslipped

My boyfriend doesn't live in my city, but he is probably the only person I could have as a workout partner who wouldn't irritate me. I do usually end up having several conversations with people at the gym about routine comparisons while I am there.

darrensurrey

Bit mean of you. Shoulda just seen how it goes. I happily train alone but if someone starts talking to me I don't shun them. You just have to check you're not resting too long and be polite about it eg "Ok, next set, keep talking, though, I'll answer after I've done the set."

rybo

That's just odd to invite himself like that.

As for my thoughts on partners, it depends. For most of the years I spent in the gym I had a good partner. Even if we weren't doing the exact same things each day.

When it came to running I almost exclusively did that alone. Had one running buddy that I teamed up with for marathon training long runs. All I wanted to do was push her into traffic. Back to running solo & then just kind of fell into running with a different partner. That ended up being great and now when I don't have her to run with its just not nearly as enjoyable.

socajam

I will add that I prefer to run with a partner. I run much better when I am being pushed by someone and you can't always count on the cops to do it:laugh:

Now isn't that a bit selfish. You would prefer to run with a partner who pushes you, but refuse to push a partner whilst doing weights. How are you any different from the guy who approached you in the gym, even though if he did invite himself. At least he had the balls to approach you. Who knows maybe he would be a good running mate.

darrensurrey

I train with 2-3 others and we all do our own thing but chat between sets. It's not like he'll follow you around the gym.













Probably. :laugh:

MinnieInMaine

It all depends on the parter. I don't blame you for refusing. 1) he didn't ask, he assumed you'd be cool with it. 2) it does sound like he wants you to be his trainer and keep him accountable which is not what a workout buddy is for IMHO.
A workout buddy is someone who joins you in the gym, spots you, encourages you, pushes you, maybe helps you learn a thing or two but more in the way of sharing info, not as a trainer/teacher. Accountability is on you.

Thankfully my current workout buddy is fantastic - we push each other and come up with new challenges on a regular basis. The biggest challenge for anyone in my mind is not to let your partner mess with your goals. But I think as long as you're clear with them that you'll keep going with or without them, that base is covered. I've found myself being held back in the past but mostly because I let their lack of free time or disability/injury be an excuse for me to not push myself harder. That's on me, not them.

FitWarrior7

I workout with a partner who is 22 years older than me, I'm 30, he's 52. I was the one that asked him if he wanted to start coming regularly. I text him when I'm going to the gym every morning. And he does the same when he is going and I hadn't planned on it. It's nice to have the spot even though I don't generally need it. It's even nicer when I don't feel like going and I know he is counting on me to join him.

JONZ64

I will add that I prefer to run with a partner. I run much better when I am being pushed by someone and you can't always count on the cops to do it:laugh:

Now isn't that a bit selfish. You would prefer to run with a partner who pushes you, but refuse to push a partner whilst doing weights. How are you any different from the guy who approached you in the gym, even though if he did invite himself. At least he had the balls to approach you. Who knows maybe he would be a good running mate.

How is telling someone up front that I don't like workout partners selfish? It is my preference to work alone in the gym, why would I act like I was ok with it and basically lie to someone? Also, I would never just walk up to someone and tell them I was their running partner. I have always gone to running groups to find people to run with.

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JONZ64

I work out with a friend sometimes, we do a little weights routine together. We do some cardio together, but she has a problem with her knees so can't do certain things I like to do, so sometimes I put on my iPod and do my own thing, and she does hers.

I think meeting someone there motivates you both to go, even if you both have headphones in and ignore each other!

Good point, it is good to have a regular friend for motivation, that is what I get from MFP When I see one of my friends post a workout I get motivated. I also have other coworkers who go there in the morning, but they do their own thing and if any of us need a spot we ask, but I like getting my headphones on and into the "zone" and just get at it, not have to wait on anyone.

lacroyx

Buddy of mine joined me for a few months. It was great while it lasted. Spotted one another, pushed oursleves, that sorta thing. I got annoyed when he started coming less and less. Eventually he stopped altogether with excuses galore.
"I work nights and I am tired all the time so it's hard" (I do too)
"I just need to lose some more weight first before hitting the gym" ( I started 100 lbs heavier than what he is at now)
Finally I got him to just fess up that he didn't give 2 ****s which he did. I've dropped it since. If in the future a opportunity presented itself for me to have a gym partner, I would welcome it.

devilwhiterose

Like George Thorogood said..."I drink alone." I mean... ...I exercise alone.

FindingMyPerfection

Have tried working with a partner and always feel like they are a distraction. I push myself better on my own. Also it takes more time then I'm willing to invest to creat that trust needed to make a partner helpful for me.

bobbijodmb

I dont like to workout with a partner unless I am running outside. When I am in the gym I am like you- I want to get in, workout and get out.
But when running longer distances its nice to have someone to talk to when the music gets boring

just_Jennie1

My husband and I work out together. I was a lone workout person in the past because where I used to work had a gym and I preferred it. When I had days off and I went to the gym with my husband because we were doing different things I'd work out pretty much by myself there as well. Now we do the same thing and workout together and I really like it. He pushes me to lift heavier and spots me so that I can. He encourages me to get "one more rep!" and to max myself out as much as possible.

FrnkLft

As a general rule, hell no to partners. Training is such a specific thing, they have to have the same goals and values as you.

The only time I've ever worked out with someone, was with my gf. She was there to follow me and learn so it was great.

The thing is, training is so personal for me. I started on my own, so if I have a partner they need to be on my page. I don't want to change the times I go or my routine for someone else. I also don't want to carry someone or be responsible for their goals.

JoRocka

God that was weird- who just assumes they are going to work out with you? that's so weird- plus coming in at 5 AM is a hell of a commitment to just make FOR someone. Nah- I think that was the appropriate response- blunt and to the point is mostly the best way to answer such things.


I mostly hate working out with someone.

I have tried with two or three girls who have requested help.. .and since I was training people I offered to give them some pointers- but it got to the point where it was TOO much work to take so much weight on and off the bar (they were doing 45-95 for basic lifts) it's TOO much work.

I have ONE person I actually lift with- like we rotate- spot- and do a thing together. We aren't fully on the same page- he is an accomplished lifter as well- but we are both on the same page skill wise- and it's fine for 1-2 times a week. Honestly it was nice having someone to talk to about form and technique and work through it.

You can't get that on your own. But it was never good for long term- it was just nice once or twice a week.

Otherwise- no- I don't like it. It's a pain in the *kitten*.

twhaley1990

when I first got serious about working out, I tried so hard to find anyone who would go to the gym with me since that's what magazines like SELF recommend when you are trying to go to the gym for the first time. In the end, none of my friends really were interested, so I went by myself. I'm actually really happy that I did because I might not have learned how to go to the gym by myself or how my individual body works in terms of fitness

bitshred

I agree, that was weird for him to invite himself, or "assume" you would be partners, and then get pissed when you said no.

I've never had many friends, so I don't know what it's like to workout with a partner. But I am fine working out alone, and just getting it done.