Don't Want to offend anyone

Goal179
Goal179 Posts: 314 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Will I offend my friend if I invite her to work out with me? She used to work out all of the time, but she slacked off and has gained some weight. I think she looks good, but she is unhappy with her weight. She said that she thought someone was following her closely in the parking garage. When she turned around to comfront them, she realized it was the shadow from her butt. I chose to save my laughter for later and console her most immediately. I don't know how to help her without sounding like a "know it all" tool. I am 70 pounds overweight, so my advice isn't really credible. But I do think that offering to work out together may be kinda cool and helpful. What do you think? Now that she is safely out of the room, I am ROFLMAO!!!!! Butt shadows are hilarious.

Replies

  • adion5
    adion5 Posts: 2 Member
    That is a fantastic story :) .....I think you could easily ask her to work out with you! A good way to keep her from being offended is to ask her to help YOU. Tell her that you'd really like a workout partner to help keep you accountable! If you make it all about you, then she can't get offended :) Everyone knows working out with a friend is much more effective, so put that spin on it! Goodluck!
  • amberkeever1
    amberkeever1 Posts: 34 Member
    I say the next time she starts complaining about her weight that's when you bring it up. It's not like you aren't and you tell her to go. I would love to have a work out buddy!
  • theoncomingstorm2
    theoncomingstorm2 Posts: 22
    Oh my.:smile:
  • just_Jennie1
    just_Jennie1 Posts: 1,233
    You did much better than I would have with containing your laughter. :laugh:

    If she's unhappy with her weight and you know she's unhappy with her weight then ask her to hit the gym with you. Tell her that you want a workout buddy and that you can help each other with whatever goals you have and like someone else said keep you accountable.
  • luckydays27
    luckydays27 Posts: 552 Member
    I think it would be a great idea to ask your friend to workout with you. You can couch it around how you would love to have a workout buddy and can work within her schedule etc etc.

    If she is reluctant or is wishy washy, then you have to let it go. That is how I am with my friends. All of them want to workout and lose weight but none want to do it with me. :cry: I am not offended but it gets hard to listen to their "woe is me, I need to lose weight" comments when they wont even go on a walk with me around the block.
  • tangerinekiwi
    tangerinekiwi Posts: 16
    I agree you should totally say something - but wait til she brings up her weight again. Even if you don't wait, make it not about her... Present it like you two are jumping into something TOGETHER. There might be a part of her waiting for you to say something anyway. I think a lot of people are waiting for someone else to say "hey let's do this, and let's do it together."
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Next time she's complaining about being unhappy with her weight, say something along the lines of "hey if you ever want a workout buddy, let me know". If she seems enthusiastic, then run with it and try to motivate her a bit. I'd only offer one time though, put the idea in her head and leave it at that. That way she knows it's an option, but you don't risk pissing her off if she's just not ready yet. And, she might just not be ready yet.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Your intentions are good, but it's all in the delivery, so be careful!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Next time you guys are talking about it- say you are having a good time at the gym- maybe she could come with you.

    Just throw it out there- let her pick it up or walk away from it. Nothing worse than a naggy friend on a health/workout kick and you aren't there yet- it makes for bitter roots.
  • 40mpw
    40mpw Posts: 75 Member
    I'd probably wait until she opens the door, then say, "I work out [in the mornings/ every day/ by taking classes/ by lifting weights/ with a personal trainer/ with some friends]. If you ever want to join me, I'd love your company." Then I wouldn't mention it again unless she brings it up. I'd rather be offered a standing invitation once than "helpfully" badgered.
  • davepearson86
    davepearson86 Posts: 158 Member
    Offended by your offer to workout together, I think not.

    Bum shadow story LMAO
  • Laughter_Girl
    Laughter_Girl Posts: 2,226 Member
    That is a fantastic story :) .....I think you could easily ask her to work out with you! A good way to keep her from being offended is to ask her to help YOU. Tell her that you'd really like a workout partner to help keep you accountable! If you make it all about you, then she can't get offended :) Everyone knows working out with a friend is much more effective, so put that spin on it! Goodluck!

    Ditto.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    I think the butt shadow story was meant to be funny. You probably offended by not laughing!

    Your friend will not be offended if you phrase it like
    "Do you want to come work out with me? I learned some really great stuff and it would be really cool to have a partner. We can motivate each other!"

    She will be offended if you say:
    "You should really come to the gym with me- you might need to start working out"

    It's all in the delivery.
  • shoeloveramber
    shoeloveramber Posts: 291 Member
    I would not wait, I would tell her you are in the market for a workout buddy and you wanted to know if she would be interested in going with you. She might want to get moving but feel like it's too much or she doesn't want to do it alone. It can't hurt to ask as long as you don't tell her you are asking because she has gained weight. Go at it as she would be helping you out ;)
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    yeah i agree that the butt shadow story was probably meant to be laughed at.

    i dont think your friend would be offended if you invited her to workout, especially if you remind her that she used to work out and maybe she can show you some things and you can show her things too
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Here's a suggestion. Why don't you invite her to take a self-defense or martial arts class with you? That way you can be active together, and perhaps, boost her confidence, as it sounds like she isn't just concerned about her weight. From there, you could suggest other activities like aerobics or lifting class. Then, from there, you could just branch in to working out together. By then, she will be so used to doing exercise activities with you that suggesting working out together wouldn't offend her.

    I applaud you for caring so much about your friend. And I'm proud of you for not laughing at her attempt to put herself down. Best of luck!
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
    I bet she wants to have you ask her to workout with you- after seeing your own success :)
  • Bebubble
    Bebubble Posts: 938 Member
    That is a fantastic story :) .....I think you could easily ask her to work out with you! A good way to keep her from being offended is to ask her to help YOU. Tell her that you'd really like a workout partner to help keep you accountable! If you make it all about you, then she can't get offended :) Everyone knows working out with a friend is much more effective, so put that spin on it! Goodluck!

    Ditto.

    Exactly! If she is offend then, maybe it is a deeper issue than just excess weight.
  • leannabseven
    leannabseven Posts: 395 Member
    First, I think you are totally credible because you are doing the work and making the changes. And if I had a friend who offered to work out with me, I would assume they were doing what friends do...care.
    Perhaps, phrase it as an offer that would make your workouts more fun. Not only would you be helping her, but she would be helping you.
    And by the way, thanks for the laugh...I appreciate it! :)
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    Hahahaha!! Her butt. I like that :D
  • gypsyGIRL159
    gypsyGIRL159 Posts: 78 Member
    GO 4 IT!!!! OFFER HER YOUR WAY OF DOING WHAT YOU CAN, WHILE YOU CAN..... INSTEAD OF WISHING.... AND TALKING ABOUT IT... WHICH IS CHEAP.

    SHE MAY JUST NOT BE ABLE TO GET FOCUSED RIGHT NOW!!!!

    U R SO AMAZING - AND YOU CAN OFFER HER THE UPBEAT ATTITUDE YOU HAVE TO START WHERE YOU ARE AND STAY FOCUSED REGARDLESS OF WHAT HAPPENS!

    IN A YEAR U WILL NOT EVEN RECOGNIZE YOUR AMAZING SELF!!!!!

    I APPLAUD YOU AND YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!!! (((HUGGZZ)))
  • CarolDoodle
    CarolDoodle Posts: 15 Member
    Ask her. I think she might appreciate it. If she is really sensitive you can always preface it with a comment about how you'd be motivated by company. Butt shadows - lol!
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    Why not ask her if she would mind helping you for motivational purposes by accompanying you to the gym. Most people like to help a friend out.









    I prefer to kidnap them and lock them in my cellar with the others.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I don't see any harm in it! I'd normally advise to wait until she brings it up again too but assuming this convo was recent, you could even say "So I was thinking about your wanting to lose that butt shadow (snicker, wink) and have also been thinking I'd love a workout buddy to help keep me accountable. What do you think...want to start going to the gym together?"

    Be open to all possibilities. If she says yes, fantastic! If she's not sure, let it lie but maybe offer again if she complains about her weight again. If she says no, tell her no biggee and the offer stands if she decides to change her mind.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    When she turned around to comfront them, she realized it was the shadow from her butt.
    Butt shadows are hilarious.

    Butt shadows are NOT a laughing matter.

    I have been attacked by my own butt shadow, before. It did not end well.

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