Sweets, sugar, chocolate... uhgg I think I died.

JesterMFP

I have only lost 4 or 5 pounds.....so still a work in progress! Must be awesome that you have been so successful...what a great feeling you must have to know you will never be a fatty again! Whow, hopefully I can get there one day....Guess im just a bit slower then others!!

Honey, if you only knew how many times I have lost and gained weight! :laugh: And I always white-knuckled it, holding off on things that were "bad" until I couldn't stand it anymore and started eating like it was my job and gained it all back. I lose weight at a glacial pace. I don't think you're a bit slower and I don't feel superior being so successful (I'm not even *trying* to lose my excess fat right now!). I was just recommending that you make one of your goals to figure out what is the way that you can sustainably eat for the rest of your life, and then do that. Otherwise, at best, you're torturing yourself needlessly, and at worst, doing something counterproductive that will ultimately undermine all of your hard work!

I totally agree with this. Learning to eat in moderation is not easy, but it is possible, and a key part of being successful long-term. It is amazing to me that I am able to keep chocolate and biscuits in the house, in a fairly large quantity, and I'm not tempted to eat it all at once. In fact, I have to make myself more careful about buying more than I can eat in case it goes off. Knowing what I was like a few years ago, it's incredible that I have so much "self-restraint". I put those words in quotes because it's not that really. It's not like I'm staring down boxes of chocolates every night and resisting through sheer will power.

It's more that my habits have changed, my priorities have changed (I'm more concerned about hitting my nutritional targets), I've learned better ways of dealing with emotional stress, and I've learned that as much as I might want to eat certain things in large quantities, it's not actually going to make me feel good to do so. Not longer than the first 5 minutes anyway. I'm not perfect by any means, and I still struggle with my relationship with food, sometimes I struggle a lot. But, I've maintained my loss for over a year now, and I'm convinced that if I had been restrictive over which foods I could eat, then I wouldn't have kept it off this long. Keeping the foods around that I used to overeat has forced me to deal with my unhealthy eating patterns.

I'm not saying that people should keep foods around that trigger binges, or that this kind of stuff happens overnight. It doesn't, and maybe, for some people, there are certain foods they will never be able to eat moderately. I genuinely don't know if that's true, but I suspect that there are a whole lot of people who think that they can't possibly learn moderation who actually could.

As always, Ed up there^ is a brilliant example. :drinker:

msf74

When I started this journey I was homebound at 560 lbs, consuming 10,000 calories a day and totally out of control... I was ordering in 21 inch pizza's after my family left the house (several times a week) and eating my fair share and putting the rest in tupperware and hiding it in closets so I could eat it later after everyone went to bed.. Did this with little debbies swiss cakes, candy bars, etc... When I finally had that AHA moment to get a handle on things I had to practice Abstinence in the beginning, literally brought in 2 - 35 gallon trash cans empty the house of ALL trigger foods and replace with lean meats, veggies, fruit, and grains... I allowed myself 2 meals a week of discretionary food choices but both meals had to be eaten out of the house and I could only get what I could consume there and could not bring leftovers home... I then met with a therapist to work on my food addiction with the sole purpose of mentally getting to the point that I had total control of the food and that the food would no longer control me... So as I got stronger and lost weight, we introduced those foods I could not handle having around back into my diet, in moderation, slowly overtime. I gained a new perspective on my food choices and after 4 years (3 years of weight loss and 1 year of maintenance) and losing 312 lbs. There is absolutely NO Foods I deem off limits and NO Foods that control my eating behaviors. I have a set caloric intake and macro's I aim for each day and if there is something I would like then I have it. You goal is to get to a place that is sustainable for the rest of your life and one that you can adhere too. Keeping things out of your diet forever in my mind is setting your self up for failure or at the very least the endless years of Yo Yo Dieting and gaining and losing those same 30 lbs. over and over and over...... Just my 2 cents..... Best of Luck OP but if it was me, I would figure out a way to work in some chocolate if you want it..... Best of Luck

DamePiglet

Cannot stop thinking about buying a chocolate candy bar or bag of candy... haven't gotten over craving sweet things.. not even by a little bit =(

So buy a candy bar.

If you keep trying to deny yourself a candy bar that you really want, you'll end up passed out face first into a 5-lb bag of Reese's Pieces with your face covered in runny mascara.

There's nothing wrong with a candy bar. Eat one.

"Eat one" may be the issue. Some people can't have just one. One turns into 2, then before you know it, you've eaten about ten times more than you should.

OP, you're not cravings sweets and chocolate. You don't need them, you want them. You need nutrients...eat those instead.

No. I've tried telling my body it doesn't want chocolate. It responds by making me want chocolate AND potato chips. Now I just have a little chocolate when the craving hits. I work it into my calories and that's it. No binging, no brain damage, happy body.

You know what causes people to "not have just one"? Deprivation and over-thinking. RE: The story about landing face down in a 5lb bag of Reese's Pieces.

Not everyone has the "can't eat just one" problem.

if you're actually craving chocolate you could be deficient in magnesium.

I realise not everyone has the "can't eat just one" problem. which is why I said "some people"

Well let's give people the benefit of the doubt and not assume they have an eating disorder before giving them generalized advice.

This.

How is my suggestion in any way assuming she has an eating disorder?
How is your advice any less generalized?

If you think that the slender young woman in the profile picture has difficulty in controlling herself from over-indulging, you're assuming that she's bulimic, because she obviously isn't obese.

Tl;dr? Because I actually looked at her profile pic instead of blathering crap.

I assume nothing - you cannot determine someone's relationship with food from a photo. I was merely offering an alternative suggestion to just "eat it in moderation". I didn't assume she couldn't control herself, just like you shouldn't presume she can.

You assume that she's not craving chocolate.
You told her not to eat it.
You replied the her post with "some people can't control themselves" but then suggest that you weren't talking about her.
Why would you even mention it otherwise?

Sheesh, take responsibility for your opinion instead of crawfishing back from it.

livingleanlivingclean

Cannot stop thinking about buying a chocolate candy bar or bag of candy... haven't gotten over craving sweet things.. not even by a little bit =(

So buy a candy bar.

If you keep trying to deny yourself a candy bar that you really want, you'll end up passed out face first into a 5-lb bag of Reese's Pieces with your face covered in runny mascara.

There's nothing wrong with a candy bar. Eat one.

"Eat one" may be the issue. Some people can't have just one. One turns into 2, then before you know it, you've eaten about ten times more than you should.

OP, you're not cravings sweets and chocolate. You don't need them, you want them. You need nutrients...eat those instead.

No. I've tried telling my body it doesn't want chocolate. It responds by making me want chocolate AND potato chips. Now I just have a little chocolate when the craving hits. I work it into my calories and that's it. No binging, no brain damage, happy body.

You know what causes people to "not have just one"? Deprivation and over-thinking. RE: The story about landing face down in a 5lb bag of Reese's Pieces.

Not everyone has the "can't eat just one" problem.

if you're actually craving chocolate you could be deficient in magnesium.

I realise not everyone has the "can't eat just one" problem. which is why I said "some people"

Well let's give people the benefit of the doubt and not assume they have an eating disorder before giving them generalized advice.

This.

How is my suggestion in any way assuming she has an eating disorder?
How is your advice any less generalized?

If you think that the slender young woman in the profile picture has difficulty in controlling herself from over-indulging, you're assuming that she's bulimic, because she obviously isn't obese.

Tl;dr? Because I actually looked at her profile pic instead of blathering crap.

I assume nothing - you cannot determine someone's relationship with food from a photo. I was merely offering an alternative suggestion to just "eat it in moderation". I didn't assume she couldn't control herself, just like you shouldn't presume she can.

You assume that she's not craving chocolate.
You told her not to eat it.
You replied the her post with "some people can't control themselves" but then suggest that you weren't talking about her.
Why would you even mention it otherwise?

Sheesh, take responsibility for your opinion instead of crawfishing back from it.

I have an opinion - that moderation is a load of crap. Most of the people on this thread are touting moderation like its easy. It's not easy, and for many people it's near impossible. If she wasn't craving it, why would she start a thread going on about how she couldn't stop thinking about buying it? Perhaps she's got a shopping addiction she's trying to recover from?

I never suggested I wasn't talking about her, I used "some people" as to not generalise, but to suggest that it's ok if she can't do moderation as "some people" can't and shouldn't unless they overcome any issues they have that leads to moderation turning in to a binge.

Last time I checked, we were all allowed an opinion, and allowed to make suggestions. The OP can take what she wants from any suggestion and work out what best suits her and her situation.

You've made me not want to post at all, if a simple suggestion I make is going to get shot back at me and I'm told I'm blathering crap.

jonnythan

No one ever said moderation is easy.

It's not easy.

It's a life skill you need to learn, though. It's a lot easier than food abstinence, that's for sure.

And frankly, if your response to someone saying "I really want to eat some chocolate" is going to be "you don't need chocolate, don't eat that" then we're probably all better off if you follow through with not posting.

Fullsterkur_woman

I have an opinion - that moderation is a load of crap. Most of the people on this thread are touting moderation like its easy. It's not easy, and for many people it's near impossible. If she wasn't craving it, why would she start a thread going on about how she couldn't stop thinking about buying it? Perhaps she's got a shopping addiction she's trying to recover from?

I never suggested I wasn't talking about her, I used "some people" as to not generalise, but to suggest that it's ok if she can't do moderation as "some people" can't and shouldn't unless they overcome any issues they have that leads to moderation turning in to a binge.

Last time I checked, we were all allowed an opinion, and allowed to make suggestions. The OP can take what she wants from any suggestion and work out what best suits her and her situation.

You've made me not want to post at all, if a simple suggestion I make is going to get shot back at me and I'm told I'm blathering crap.

Sooo... I guess you missed the part where Ed and I both worked at it for 4 years to get over the binging? Sure, that's easy. So's deadlifting 220 pounds. That's why everyone can do it. Oh, wait.

I wonder why you're so quick to tell people it's OK if they "can't" without even giving them the chance to try to struggle with it. Struggle is how people grow. I would not deny them that opportunity.

somestrangewoman

Hello,

On this topic, how do the rest of the ladies here manage their calorie intake when the cravings hit at the same time each month?

It's REALLY hard for me to resist sitting on the couch with a bag of chips and a candy bar or three. And I'm only able to stop there because I trigger chronic health problems when I do that, but the cravings don't quit!

JesterMFP

I have an opinion - that moderation is a load of crap. Most of the people on this thread are touting moderation like its easy.

I for one never said it was easy. I believe I said:

Learning to eat in moderation is not easy, but it is possible

and

It is amazing to me that I am able to keep chocolate and biscuits in the house, in a fairly large quantity, and I'm not tempted to eat it all at once. [...] Knowing what I was like a few years ago, it's incredible that I have so much "self-restraint".

and

I'm not perfect by any means, and I still struggle with my relationship with food, sometimes I struggle a lot.

and

I'm not saying that people should keep foods around that trigger binges, or that this kind of stuff happens overnight. It doesn't, and maybe, for some people, there are certain foods they will never be able to eat moderately.

It's certainly not easy, but that doesn't make it impossible, and doesn't stop it being a totally worthwhile skill to learn. It's something that I still work on every day, but I know that it's a key part of having a healthy attitude towards food, and to my being successful at maintaining my weight.