lost weight, don't know how to date.

EKarma

Good morning to all my west coasters and afternoon to my east coasters. I'm in a mess. I'm in the dating game now and I have no idea what I'm doing. I started dating this guy and I'm really feeling him, but I'm so confused. I feel like I'm jumping in too fast, as he asked me to be his girlfriend after like the 3rd date.. Is that really soon? He can't be that head over heels for me, could he?

I've never really had any "game" when it comes to dating, and now I've lost weight and guys are noticing me (even girls are hollerin, bring it ladies!) lol.. I've never had this kind of attention before. In fact, it's like I've still got this fatty inside me. Fat girl personality (because we have the best personalities!), now skinny body..

I guess I'm starting to doubt this guy I've been dating.. Maybe I should look around a lil more.. But when I'm around him it's like WOW! He can be really amazing.. Should I listen to my doubt? I have goals in life to have what my ma and pa have. They have been married for 40 years. Should I see more people? How do you date? And I'm not sleeping around! Not interested in just getting laid. I want something that is real..

I'm confused on what to do with this guy. So now he thinks we're boyfriend/girlfriend and I'm having all this DOUBT! OOPS! What do I do??

love and light. xo

Wolfena

Listen to your doubt - yes..... see if he is the person who would want to be with you fat or thin- if you're feeling he'd only want the new thin you, then he's probably not the right guy after all.

I say enjoy dating, if you don't want a "boyfriend" just yet - then don't have one!! When you are ready and the guy is right, there will be no doubt.

Have fun!

HealthyChanges2010

Like Wolfena shared, listen to your heart Hon. Dating a guy steady after 3 dates? I'd not even have gotten to know much about a guy that quickly. lol

This is all so new to you, have fun hang out with friends, meet new ppl, but be careful not to just grab ever guy that pays attention. Doesn't mean he's right for you. Attention after you've lost weight feels good, scary sometimes because it's so new again so that's why you might want to simply think of stickin' to single for now and enjoying looking ahead.

You're pretty young, have some fun, there's always time to for commitment later, but you might wanna let the guy know you're not his gf soon.

Edited to add: Besides that...there's nothing like having guy 'friends', that can be lots of fun, just to hang out, play pool, doesn't have to be heavy duty, it's a friend thing. Have fun exploring your world!

Pete1977

Guy perspective time

I actually agree with the two ladies who posted before. The only thing I'll add is that you don't necessarily have to ditch the current guy. Just be honest with him and tell him that you enjoy his time and company, but that you're not yet willing to make an exclusive committment. If he's as good of a guy as you suspect he is, and he enjoys your company (for the right reasons) as much as you enjoy his, then he'll be an adult about it and understand. If you get any other reaction, then you'll have your opportunity to validate your doubt.

Us guys have a weird cave-man mentality when it comes to women that we like... we have a tendency to want to mark our territory as soon as possible More often than not, even we realize its kind of silly, but we do it anyway. Don't penalize him for it, but make it known that its a bit premature.

Good luck!

Nina74

I don't have any dating advice to give, because I'm a big hot mess when it comes to that. Everyone above has great advice.

I do have to say that it sounds like you have shed all of this weight (look at your pics- you are beautiful), but your self esteem and "groove" still need to catch up to your weight loss. Until you really see and believe how beautiful you are, you will always doubt anyone's interest whether it is after 3 dates or 30. Time for some self love (no I don't mean that KIND...LOL!). Time to let go of the "fat girl" inside and see who you truly are and that path is different for everyone.

Lots of luck!

HealthyChanges2010

Guy perspective time

I actually agree with the two ladies who posted before. The only thing I'll add is that you don't necessarily have to ditch the current guy. Just be honest with him and tell him that you enjoy his time and company, but that you're not yet willing to make an exclusive committment. If he's as good of a guy as you suspect he is, and he enjoys your company (for the right reasons) as much as you enjoy his, then he'll be an adult about it and understand. If you get any other reaction, then you'll have your opportunity to validate your doubt.

Us guys have a weird cave-man mentality when it comes to women that we like... we have a tendency to want to mark our territory as soon as possible More often than not, even we realize its kind of silly, but we do it anyway. Don't penalize him for it, but make it known that its a bit premature.

Good luck!

I very much appreciate you adding your perspective on this Pete, interesting on the cave man thing. We girls don't know these things unless guys slip this info to us on the side. I like to better understand how a guys mind works so thanks for opening up a bit and giving your perspective as a male!

Becca