SW 265 - GW 150 help?!

rlzwakenberg

Okay so here's the low down.
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Kids: No
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 255.8 as of this morning's weigh in. Goal - 160lb.
Pant Size - 22 current. Goal - 12.

My Story:
I've always been big, since I was young. Not obese as a kid, just kinda chunky. I didn't really gain all the weight until late high school when I began suffering from severe anxiety and depression. I ate and ate and ate and ate. My mother is obese, my father is overweight, my sisters and brothers are all also overweight/obese. It's a family affair ;-) ! I have always had awful self esteem and when I was in a size 14 I would regularly refer to myself as a cow/whale and thought I was hideous. These feelings have not changed, but I digress. I am now 22 and getting married in September to my high school sweetheart who has stuck by me from size 14 to size 22. He wears a size 8 in ladies jeans, just for a size reference, and he's 6'1". So he's basically a stick. Which is mildly infuriating since he eats 2 tons of junk food and wouldn't touch veggies with a 30' pole. Which is probably why I am where I am because we are NOT healthy eaters, AT ALL. About 4 months ago I began trying to lose all this weight as I'm tired of being huge and being out of breath from climbing the stairs to my 2nd floor apartment. (sad, but true). I started counting calories with a 1500/day limit and walking every day. (would eat the calories I worked off back). It did great! First month I lost almost 20lbs! I was so happy. Then I hit a plateau, and just fluctuated in the same 5-10lb range for a month. Then I started by quitting the working out, then the holidays hit and my diet went all to hell. Now here we are. I've gained 10lbs back in that short span of time. YUCK!
My Issue?
I don't know what goals to set? The only thing I know is I don't want to look like an albino whale in my wedding dress in September! Ultimately, I don't even know what a healthy weight/pant size is for my body type/age. I don't know what kind of goals to set to be realistic. I'd like to be a size 18 by my wedding, AT LEAST, but even that may be completely unpractical. I don't know. I do know that I have NO support i this from family or friends. I have no car so no way to go to a gym and I work from 7am-6pm in an office everyday. Heck my office is so small I don't even get up and walk around. my printer is arms length away and the bathroom is an astounding 5 steps from my chair. Woo! -.- By the time I get home from work, it is 7pm. then it's cook and eat and by that time, i have an hour or two before I have to be back in bed to start it all over again. We are a young couple and therefore flat BA-ROKE! No mula means it's mildly difficult to buy all that fancy at home workout equip.

I need help.
I don't know where to start, what to do, how to keep doing it, or anything. I feel like weight loss is this terrifying sea that I'm drowning in. It's stressful to even think about!

Today I am making a veggie soup my Mom swears by. She said it's very low cal, and it's a great way to start a diet. So I plan on eating that soup for the next 3-4 days, and then starting a diet again Monday. I'm just not sure what to do. Just eat whatever, but only 1500 calories of it? I don't know what I should be expecting to do, reasonably. I got Jillian Michaels 30 day shred, and it made me cry. I feel ridiculous flopping and flapping and huffing and puffing until I almost pass out. It's depressing really.

Okay, nobody read all that. But if you did, my white flag is up. I admit that I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'd love some solid help?

thanks!

girlwithcurls2

Hon, you are already on the way to being more healthy. Your post identified so many issues that are stopping you from getting there. Two big things: First, don't go "on a diet," change the way you live. Second, set small goals. You sound totally overwhelmed, which instead of motivating you further, is discouraging you. You can do this if you live by one quote: "Make one good decision. Then make another." (Oh, and when you don't, it still applies...)

You can do this. You don't need a gym, although it might be helpful. You don't need family support, although again, it would make it easier. You need to get up every day, put your feet on the floor and commit to THAT DAY. Start by changing one thing, a food, soda intake, a 15 minute walk after dinner, anything. Once you get used to that, add in one more thing ("another good decision") and keep going. It sounds like the one person you might have the support of is your boyfriend. Tell him you are committed. Show him you are committed. Ask for his help by changing the food intake in some way (he doesn't have to go overboard either).

The slower you do this, the less you'll realize it. You'll find yourself preferring the new way you do things because you'll like the results. If you slip up, you'll probably be motivated to get back on track because when you are, you feel better and you look better. Oh, and yesterday I read something like (and don't quote me...), "Getting off track is like getting a flat tire. You fix the tire; you don't poke holes in the other three."

You can do this. You can.
~Curly

rlzwakenberg

Thank you for your encouraging words.
I am a little overwhelmed. I just, I just want to be beautiful on my wedding day. I don't want to hate my wedding photos for the rest of my life, ya know?

I just feel like, I need a plan. i need something to stick to. Because in the end, "making better choices" doesn't work for me. I just get upset because there's no difference or changes and I binge eat. I'm, admittedly, and emotional eater, something fierce.

I just feel like I'm not doing anything. I want a plan, a goal, something. Something reachable so I don't get so discouraged and over whelmed.

hdg1822

Hi! Part of your posting I could have written myself. Always chunky now obese. I went from a size 12 to a 20. My goal is to get back to a 12.
Goals are a hard thing to set. Make sure that they are obtainable. And set some short term and long term goals. Goals are not beneficial if you do not reach them - which is why short term goals help!
You can def be in a size 18 by Sept! That is a really obtainable goal. You should aim to lose about 1-2 pounds per week - that is what is healthy per my personal trainer. Some weeks it will be more and others less. But it balances out.
I agree that you shouldn't diet - you need a life style change! It is hard but it can be done. Smaller meals more often throughout the day will help with your metabolism. Drink plenty of water. Can you take breaks at work and walk around outside of your office?
Feel free to add me as a friend. I will be happy to help encourage you and to give you ideas on goals, etc.

JenJBS

First, congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

My only real advice is that moderation is key. Cutting out sweets, or anything, completely seems to lead to binge eating eventually. I've learned to allow myself a treat sometimes. There's a local donut shop I'm just addicted to. I allow myself one donut a week, as long as I have 'been good', meaning I didn't eat those cookies my co-worker brought in. I find it easier to resist the cookies (and other treats co-workers bring in), by reminding myself that if I don't eat them I can have a donut on Saturday. And the small treats every day would add up to a lot more calories than the one donut. I allow myself one piece of pizza, not the two pieces I used to eat. I have a 12 oz can of soda to get my caffeine fix (then switch to water), not the 44 oz size soda I used to get. A small smoothie instead of a large. Anyway, you get the idea. Hope this helps at least a little.

Best of luck!

kathy6969

Hi my nameis kathy,
The slower you take it off, the better. If you set a goal of 2 pounds per week you could lose 64 pounds by the time youget married! I have done my fitness pal before and lost 35 pounds. I amstarting it again because I want to lose another 15 pounds. With my fitness pal I tend to stay more focused and on track, also you willmake smarter choices wnen it comes to eating. Its not always easy, and yes its frustrating when you plateau....its your body resisting wanting to drop the pounds. Thats when you have to change up your exercise routi e because your muscles remember your workout. Good luck!

Kathy

jburcell

I was once 254 pounds so I know how you feel. I am now 154...it can be done if you really want it.
I started off doing walks only in the beginning because that is all I could do. I would walk 15-20 mins after dinner every day. Once I lost a little more weight and gained some strength and stamina, I added more. When you are ready, start walking hills or jogging for 1 min at a time until you can build up. Never over-do it so that you harm yourself, but do push yourself at your own pace. If you boyfriend will go with you, great...if not, you have to have the strength to do it alone. Then it becomes your time. Use it to not only get the excercise but to reflect on your day and changes you want to make in your life.

Unfortunately without healthy diet choices you will not see lasting results. Once you start tracking your calories on here, you really begin to see how bad certain foods are. Stick to lean protiens and lots of fruits and vegetables. Eat snacks so you don't feel deprived (healthy snacks of course.) Living with someone that eats poorly is going to make this hard. Maybe you can ask that he does not eat the junk food around you and when you have shared meals that they be healthy for the most part.

Good luck on your journey. Congratulations for taking the first steps towards a healthy life. You will not regret it!

jennegan1

Your story touches my heart!!! Ive never been a skinny girl either only a cpl of times and it happened both times after my oldest was born but became what they say is obese and had to come to terms with my weight and my issues.....First things first take small steps at a time. Dont kill your self in the gym or at home doing hours of cardio or strength training.....Work your stamina up each week little by little, you know your body...Strength training is also important in losing weight. itll help you lose inches and makes your muscles burn more fat quickly. Dont deprive your self in your "diet" cuz either youll have binge meals times or days. Instead cut back on portion sizes right now....If you go back for seconds try to cut it down to 1 and a half portions. Eat foods that will keep you fuller longer as well...Talking about plateaus I just had one actually my weight fluctuated. I got down to 179 before Christmas plateaued and fluctuated back up to 182 and now today Im down to 177...I know what I did wrong and figured to combat it....So I understand your frustrations but remember to stick it out and in time itll come off

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Sarahnade42x

A few people have already suggested not considering this a diet, but a lifestyle change -- I can't stress enough how important that is!! A shift in mindset will make the whole process much easier and more enjoyable. Instead of saying you *cant* eat something while you're dieting, tell yourself you *dont* eat something because you care about your health and what goes into your body.
Also, if you're able to access to some strength training equipment (even just dumbbells or a kettle bell at home), I would highly recommend incorporating some strength training into your workouts -- I went from 249 to 166 almost entirely via nutrition/cardio (which is an effective way to lose weight, if that's your only goal) but now I really wish I would've started lifting a little earlier in the journey.

chasethesky125

I feel your pain! I've never been the skinny chick and it used to bother me(I've totally gotten over it). My entire family is in that situation, and we all "try" to lose weight. It's really as easy as eating at a deficit. Here are some tips that help me:

*For maximum success, realize that everything is done in BABY steps! Sure, it's really slow and sometimes annoying but it's better to go slow than to not go at all right?

* Exercise! Not just because it burns calories (which means you can eat more! :bigsmile: ) But it makes you happier (all this brain mumbo jumbo about endorphins in the brain being released) and it can really suppress your appetite! It can be something as peaceful as going on a walk, or something intense like a Zumba class!

* Intermittent Fasting (not really a diet, more of a technique) can really help you if you feel you can't control yourself once you start eating! I eat what I want, but only from 12PM- 8PM.

*WATER!!!!!!!!! This is seriously important! Your body needs water to survive and it also helps your kidney a lot as well! I'm sure you've heard that your brain mistakes thirst for hunger before, and it's true! As for how much, I try for 8 cups of water.

* Be lenient with yourself and LOSE the "all or nothing" mentality! Just because you missed that one workout doesn't mean it's the end of the world! Just work harder the next time around!

*CONSISTENCY <-- MUY IMPORTANTE. If you get nothing else from this post, PLEASE TAKE THIS BIT. It doesn't matter what you decide to do, just make sure you STICK to it! It wasn't ONE bad meal that made you fat, it was MULTIPLE meals that made you fat. And if you ruin your good eating for one meal, it's OKAY! Just do better at the next meal! Thinking "Oh yea I had one bad meal, I guess I should just eat the rest of my pantry's contents" IS WRONG. That's like thinking "Oh I scratched my phone so I guess I should just smash it into bits and pieces with a hammer"

*Make some friends! Some days I feel seriously unmotivated, and I look at my feed and see that EVERYONE has done some exercise of some sort. Then I get jealous that they're progressing ahead of me, so I go and exercise for as much as I can stand!

Good luck!

jennegan1

Btw I eat 1400-1500 so if you need ideas on what to eat you can look at my diary. I forgot to mention try to measure your foods like for instance last night I had a cup of chili I took out a measuring cup and measured it

scottkjar

Ditto to everything already said == except starvation mode. (The flamers will be here soon! LOL)

Make sure you log everything. EVERYTHING.

A piece of toast? Log it.
Butter on that toast? Log it!
Jelly on the butter on the toast? Log it!

Creamer in your coffee? Log it.
Sugar with the creamer in your coffee? Log it.

Bag of chips. Muffin. Piece of fruit. Lasagna. (Extra large helping of lasanga ... mmmm). Hershey's kiss. Snicker's Bar. Can of Pepsi. Dish of ice cream. Be honest about portion sizes. And if you're not sure, but a kitchen scale and weigh stuff.

Log everything. And then start looking at your macronutrient levels -- total carbohydrate, total protein, total fat. MFP will calculate some targets for you. See where you are relative to those targets. If you have too many carbs and not enough protein, or too much fat and not enough carbs, etc., look at what you eat and see what you can swap. You don't need to abandon a lot of your foods, but you do need to eat them in ways that meet your macros.

On my first day here, my breakfast included 2 slices of toast with butter. I had too many calories, so on the second day, I had 1 slice of toast with butter. That dropped me by about 165 calories, and cut my fat. It was a small change, but it was a step in the right direction. I would hardly call that going on a diet, but it was a noticeable change in my total calories for the day.

Losing weight is not just about the scale. It is about LEARNING. Learn a little about your eating habits each day. Learn a little about your activity level each day. Learn a little about how food affects you each day. (Does sugar give you a quick rush, followed by a crash later? Does protein make you feel energized, or lethargic? Does salt make you crave more salt?)

The more you learn, the more you can make good choices. Until you learn, anything that happens is temporary. Once you learn, your changes can be permanent, because you will understand how to make changes and how to keep them.

jennegan1

Ditto to everything already said == except starvation mode. (The flamers will be here soon! LOL)

Make sure you log everything. EVERYTHING.

A piece of toast? Log it.
Butter on that toast? Log it!
Jelly on the butter on the toast? Log it!

Creamer in your coffee? Log it.
Sugar with the creamer in your coffee? Log it.

Bag of chips. Muffin. Piece of fruit. Lasagna. (Extra large helping of lasanga ... mmmm). Hershey's kiss. Snicker's Bar. Can of Pepsi. Dish of ice cream. Be honest about portion sizes. And if you're not sure, but a kitchen scale and weigh stuff.

Log everything. And then start looking at your macronutrient levels -- total carbohydrate, total protein, total fat. MFP will calculate some targets for you. See where you are relative to those targets. If you have too many carbs and not enough protein, or too much fat and not enough carbs, etc., look at what you eat and see what you can swap. You don't need to abandon a lot of your foods, but you do need to eat them in ways that meet your macros.

On my first day here, my breakfast included 2 slices of toast with butter. I had too many calories, so on the second day, I had 1 slice of toast with butter. That dropped me by about 165 calories, and cut my fat. It was a small change, but it was a step in the right direction. I would hardly call that going on a diet, but it was a noticeable change in my total calories for the day.

Losing weight is not just about the scale. It is about LEARNING. Learn a little about your eating habits each day. Learn a little about your activity level each day. Learn a little about how food affects you each day. (Does sugar give you a quick rush, followed by a crash later? Does protein make you feel energized, or lethargic? Does salt make you crave more salt?)

The more you learn, the more you can make good choices. Until you learn, anything that happens is temporary. Once you learn, your changes can be permanent, because you will understand how to make changes and how to keep them.
[/quote

What he said!!! When I first joined I wasnt logging my creamer or wine for that matter...boy oh boy does 5 ozs of wine look alot less then first thought. Do I miss it no not really but will never give up my creamer and coffee...I used to drink about 16 ozs of coffee with at least 4-6 ozs of creamer. That I dont miss at all, now I drink one mug with 3-4 tablespoons using a measuring spoon a day

charmar02

Oh my.

When I first started, it was on ww and I weighed 295. And I'm 5'3". I was like a big gumdrop with a head. True story. That was 2 years ago. Since then, I've lost 150 pounds. I didn't think I'd make it past 75. I had a great ww leader (and then she left and that's why I'm going the MFP route now).

Being honest with yourself is the biggest part. What did you eat, how much of it (get a scale and weigh your food, get measuring spoons). And track it. All of it. Even if it sends you into the red, and probably especially then. Tracking what you eat, for me, makes me more accountable. It lets me know if I got enough protein, fruits, and veggies. Pretracking is even better, since it helps plan the rest of your day"

As far as exercise goes, when I first started, I walked. Probably that is all I could do without killing myself due to my size, in all
honesty. But after I dropped about 50ish pounds, I started doing weight training and worked in some jogging with my walking.

Set goals of all types. Exercise goals, activity goals, weight loss goals, I even had a clothing store goal (I wanted to be able to shop at old navy for my pants by a certain time). My weight loss goals were percent based at first, because of the ww plan. 5%, 10%, then I went with 15 pound goals, it helps make it more attainable that way. Reward yourself with things (if possible) not food. I saw this thing on Pinterest (haha), and it said something along the lines of "don't reward yourself with food, you're not a dog." And it really stuck with me. One of my rewards was going paddle boating.

Be realistic. You're going to have setbacks. The scale won't always be your friend. But don't let that send you on a bender. Or if it does, at least admit you're eating your feelings. And then get right back on the horse at the next available moment, which is right after you do it.

nancybuss

First HUGS you need them.

You CAN do this. Start with one bad food this week to get out of your daily eating and add in one Good food. A fruit, a veggie, something less processed, etc. Give it a week. Get up and Move from that desk sometimes. Do squats and push ups on the sink Every Time you use the restroom. Let the little things add up in a good way.

Don't worry about the end goal and what it should be. take it day by day and the beautiful bride will shine through.

xoeva

I recommend to set many 'mini goals'...for example, my first mini goal was to lose 10% of my total weight... of course I calculated an actual number of pounds, but I kept focusing on the percentage...it worked for me. Once I got that 10% our of the way, I made another mini goal... like that. Also, if you are feeling completely overwhelmed, focus on 1-2 'small things'. For example, no more soda/pop. Or add 6 glasses of water a day, or walk 10 min to work (get off the bus earlier, for example), or find 1 -2 snacks that are reasonable low cal (but filling).... or eat more fruit. Having a goal of 'looking great in September' is good, but that's far away, focus on what you want to do between now and...say Valentine's day...then Easter, then... like that. Write everything you eat down and start slow... good luck!

wilsoje74

Don't make it more complicated than it has to be. Track your food. Regardless of what it is, log it. Stop eating each day when you e reached your calories. Period. Eat what you normally do. As soon as you are ready, make diet changes. As you lose wright and want to exercise, walk. Start with 15 min. Increase as you can. Start with diet,

amosmoses88

Lord girl. I'm 25 and weigh 227-9 I'm fluctuating right now lol. But I started out at 246. It's hard, I understand. I have a disability and low income so I definitely understand the hard parts. I don't work out a whole lot, but I try to stick with at least every other day doing this and that on youtube. My favorite is low impact cardio, beginner pilates, and beginner yoga. Get a fitness ball and doing sit ups and push ups are SO MUCH EASIER. I kid you not, I did 100 sit ups in one set and regretted it because I had never done them before and it was miserable for the remainder of the week, but I could have done easily 100 more because you don't realize what you're doing. Push ups are easier on the ball too!

But don't give up! If I, who can barely walk a minute without my back and legs hurting, can lose weight, you can too! I'm going to give you some links to my favorite exercises and you message me and let me know if you like them (Ya know, if ya want lol)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waPCCrftvQA LOW IMPACT CARDIO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9ZttVFZnQc LOW IMPACT PILATES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AuLqYh4irI LOW IMPACT TOTAL BODY CHAIR WORKOUT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjAhM651ZPU&amp;list=PLW2S0CnRkt2oQJERbrae23tN-qoLRzYtI&amp;feature=share&amp;index=3 LOW IMPACT CARDIO

Actually, you can just look at their channel, they have LOTS of low impact videos! So if I can do it! SO CAN YOU!

https://www.youtube.com/embed/videoseries?list=PL5lPziO_t_Vh9jzqvMJ0N2nBbkSEvRgcV FITNESS BLENDER LOW IMPACT WORK OUTS

04ward

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Cynnalyn

I need help.
I don't know where to start, what to do, how to keep doing it, or anything. I feel like weight loss is this terrifying sea that I'm drowning in. It's stressful to even think about!

Welcome, and congrats on making changes now. You have youth on your side, and your whole life ahead of you. Don't wait until you're in your 40's, or have diabetes or heart issues, now is the time; sounds like you realize this, which is a great start! You can definitely do this.

MFP is great at setting up a good 'budget' for your calories. Play around with it to get an idea of what meal choices are better. Don't try to do a soup-diet, or something else that you'll be sick of fast. Change what you eat but make it delicious and enjoyable so you'll want to keep eating it.

A few guidelines that can help to create meals around:
~Have as many vegetables as you can.
~Limit sugar and flour as much as possible. Eliminate it if you can, maybe just have bread products once a week.
~Avoid processed food - it's filled with high calorie ingredients, high fat, and high sodium. You give up health for convenience.
~Don't eat out

Try to plan your meals for the week - that way you can go shopping and stick to a budget, plus knowing what you'll be eating ahead of time makes it easier to stick to a menu. I've seen hints where people chop vegies on Sunday and then use them during the week.

Google is your friend for recipes. Try vegetables you haven't before.

Also, exercise will help your weight loss go faster, which is more rewarding. Get a friend or, even better, your guy to assist you with it by joining you. Even going for a walk together each evening will do a lot for you. You can do this!