Why can't I just do it?
Mswife09
Posts: 81 Member
Feeling depressed this is why I always quit...even thou I don't think I can really quit because I went food shopping and I brought healthy stuff but I just feel down I haven't even been able to work out in three days I was doing so well for the first three days. IDK what to do I want to cheer up and no I haven't really ate anything bad for me..but still why can't I stay motivated.
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Replies
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Try writing down all the benefits to losing weight and hanging them on your mirror or fridge! Reminding myself why I need to stay focused always helps me stay motivated
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I find it difficult to stay motivated in the winter. However, I think about Spring is in 2 months and how I want to look and feel when it gets warm out. How absolutely adorable I'm going to be in my new smaller clothes. I havent been able to go to the gym do I linedsnce in my house. It keeps me moving and you can YouTube any dance or exercise. It may not be a gym workout but it keeps you moving and keeps the positive energy flowing.0
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Take a deep breath.. Think small changes. It can be overwhelming, but the worst thing you can do is let it beat you down. Make as many healthy choices as you can every day, and try to improve. Many people fail because the try to change too many things at once.
Weight loss is mostly about diet, so if you did ok with diet, you have done great. Bust keep trying to add some exercise as best you can. Just do NOT give up.0 -
What secret fields says. What are your goals and know the benefits of weight loss is great.0
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Most of your success is about diet anyway so if you have healthy food concentrate on creating tasty, healthy meals.
Try and sneak in some small workouts. There are plenty on the internet - remember a short workout is better than no workout. I've heard of people doing squats every time they go to the loo, doing push ups or ab exercises in ad breaks while watching TV. If working out is important try and get a bit creative if time is your enemy.
Remember, nobody expects perfection
Good luck
Donna0 -
These are all great ideas. I am keeping a sticker chart in my diary for every time I work out and I'm writing my daily total of calories/kilojules on there too. For days I am under (winning) I have a highlighted line along the bottom of the box. I'm challenging myself not to break the line thus staying on track eating wise and making sure every day has a dot for working out. I haven't been too successful but the visual aids are keeping me motivated.
For short workouts I can't recommend Blogilates enough. I'm enjoying Cassey's workouts especially since they make me feel stronger and better about myself. Hope you feel more motivated soon You got this. 0 -
You CAN do it
Question is will you.
You are worth it. think of what holds you back the Squish any negative thoughts and believe i will happen because it only takes a little but on a regular basis so don t think diet think LIFE STYLE CHANGE. You WILL see results:flowerforyou:0 -
Motivation is a fickle beast. It's what gets you started and gets you excited, but you can't rely on it to stick around. You have to learn to commit and be consistent even when you don't feel remotely motivated.
The only way I have been able to be successful is by making small changes that I can live with, and keeping doing them until they are proper habits. The thing is, you only really need a calorie deficit to lose weight. Good nutrition and exercise are wonderful things, and to be highly recommended, but they are not necessary just to lose weight. So, I'm not suggesting you don't care about those things, but in the beginning, keep it simple. Use MFP to set a reasonable calorie deficit (ie big enough that you're losing weight, not so big you feel like you're on a starvation diet) and just go from there. Eat the foods you like to eat. Track it. Continue.
It's not about "healthy foods" and "bad foods". It's about having an overall diet that supports your health and having a healthy weight. You don't have to start cutting out all the foods you really enjoy eating, and calling them "bad". First, eat to meet your calorie goal. When you have that sorted, start looking at your overall diet and make sure you're getting enough protein, fat, fibre, vitamins and minerals etc. Look at what foods you could do with adding, rather than being super restrictive.
As for exercise, if you can add some in, then great. It has tons of benefits, one of which is helping with those feelings of depression. Don't force yourself to do hours of something you really hate though. Find something you like doing, and if you start off with something gentle and low-impact, that's absolutely fine. The calorie deficit will come from your diet. Getting regular exercise is wonderful for your overall health, and making it a regular thing is far more important than burning hundreds of calories per workout.
I think people find it hard to get started, because it seems like this insurmountable task, especially if you have quite a bit to lose. People look at it as a period of self-deprivation they have to go through, a kind of trial by fire, something hard but temporary that they will do to get the weight off and then they can go back to normal. That's not how it works. This is going to take a long time - a really long time. It will never really be over if you intend to maintain the weight lost, so you need to look at making changes that you can actually live with. It's a long road, and it's not always easy (otherwise everyone would be slim), but it doesn't have to be torture either. So, don't "go on a diet"' keep things simple. Hit your calorie goal.
Check this out too: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants0 -
I just wanted to add: try to have a think about what your goals really are. A lot of people come in saying "I want to be x lbs", or even worse, "I want to be x lbs within 6 months". They put an enourmous amount of pressure on themselves and are focused on that one narrow goal.
Why do you want to lose weight in the first place? Do you want to be healthy? Happy? Prove to yourself that you can be consistent with something? These are things that are less tangible and less easy to measure, but they are things that you can achieve along the way. You don't have to put them off til you reach your goal weight. Don't think "I need to lose x lbs and I won't be healthy or happy, or look good until I do". Think about how great you will feel after 6 months of regular exercise and being more mindful about how you eat. 6 months should definitely give you some noticeable progress when you look in the mirror. Think about how that will feel, and how it'll feel to be fitting into smaller clothes and not getting out of breath as much, and maybe having more energy. Think how you'll feel this time next year. You may not be at your goal, but you'll be so much nearer to it, and probably feeling a lot more relaxed and confident about yourself.
What do you want to be able to do now that you can't? For me, I was never a runner and running seemed impossible, so one of my goals was to be able to run 5k non-stop. That was an amazing feeling when I finally did it. Other people want to be able to go rock climbing or hang gliding, or go on amusement park rides that they struggle with. Try and make some tangible goals that are nothing to do with the scale, and that will help too.0 -
Try different workouts to find one you LOVE and look forward to doing. You are on the right track, diet is the main factor anyway.
Step away from the computer and Just Do It. Just think you can come back later, log the workout and be proud of yourself!0 -
I am just starting out after realising that I just have to stop swinging between whats the point and oh my god how unattractive I look because my clothes are tight and I feel bloated etc etc. 5 ft 2 and weigh 165lbs -
I was worried about how much exercise I could realistically achieve as it was too dark in the mornings to walk my dog on the longer 2 mile walk and I when I get home I only have about 45 mins spare before I prep dinner for myself and my partner who gets in after me. I have a sedentary job which can be very stressful at times I am also not a fan of gyms - having wasted many memberships in the past!
So - as of 1 week I have been doing about 5 minutes with 2kg hand weights and some sit ups and I walk my dog around the smaller block which takes about 15 minutes. I take the stairs at work and at weekends I walk about 2 miles with the dog and have planned some longer walks with a work friend and when the mornings lighten up I will walk the dog around the 2 mile block.
And - maybe I need to turn on the computer and find some good dance/zumba videos and maybe spend 30 mins when I get home from work doing a work out.
I need to increase willpower and get on with it instead of dreaming about how I can look!
Violettaff0 -
All of the above, unless you are clinically depressed, in which case you might benefit from a visit to your doc, or therapy, or a combination thereof? I know when I am depressed it feels almost impossible to work on any goals (career, home, self-care, etc.). This time of the year is bad for those of us who battle depression. Good luck to you!0
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Sounds like self-sabotage. It happens ALL THE TIME. There is nothing wrong with you and there are actual, physiological things that happen in your body that cause this. You need to be able to access "the back of your mind" and tell it to get on board. I was doing this FOREVER! I am on a great path now, and what has helped me most, personally, is hypnosisdownloads.com.
For around $15 you can download a 20-30 minutes session to help you talk to the back of your mind (that's how I describe it). Never have I found it so easy to stick to my goals. I have used "weight loss motivation," and "super-thin me" the most, but there are TONS to choose from. I had never hypnotized prior to this, but I just found it relaxing, and it helped me look at the long term. Anyway, whatever you decide, don't beat yourself up.0 -
Most of your success is about diet anyway so if you have healthy food concentrate on creating tasty, healthy meals.
Try and sneak in some small workouts. There are plenty on the internet - remember a short workout is better than no workout. I've heard of people doing squats every time they go to the loo, doing push ups or ab exercises in ad breaks while watching TV. If working out is important try and get a bit creative if time is your enemy.
Remember, nobody expects perfection
Good luck
Donna
Well Yes I have been making healthy choices... and workouts at home i have so much it is that for some reason i cant miss a day without working out or take a rest day because than i get lazy or say ok tomorrow i will make it up.
I have a treadmill
a bike
30 day Shed
Shanu T hip Hop abs
Shanu T Rockin' body
Shanu T Focus T25 (My Favorite)0 -
Motivation is a fickle beast. It's what gets you started and gets you excited, but you can't rely on it to stick around. You have to learn to commit and be consistent even when you don't feel remotely motivated.
The only way I have been able to be successful is by making small changes that I can live with, and keeping doing them until they are proper habits. The thing is, you only really need a calorie deficit to lose weight. Good nutrition and exercise are wonderful things, and to be highly recommended, but they are not necessary just to lose weight. So, I'm not suggesting you don't care about those things, but in the beginning, keep it simple. Use MFP to set a reasonable calorie deficit (ie big enough that you're losing weight, not so big you feel like you're on a starvation diet) and just go from there. Eat the foods you like to eat. Track it. Continue.
It's not about "healthy foods" and "bad foods". It's about having an overall diet that supports your health and having a healthy weight. You don't have to start cutting out all the foods you really enjoy eating, and calling them "bad". First, eat to meet your calorie goal. When you have that sorted, start looking at your overall diet and make sure you're getting enough protein, fat, fibre, vitamins and minerals etc. Look at what foods you could do with adding, rather than being super restrictive.
As for exercise, if you can add some in, then great. It has tons of benefits, one of which is helping with those feelings of depression. Don't force yourself to do hours of something you really hate though. Find something you like doing, and if you start off with something gentle and low-impact, that's absolutely fine. The calorie deficit will come from your diet. Getting regular exercise is wonderful for your overall health, and making it a regular thing is far more important than burning hundreds of calories per workout.
I think people find it hard to get started, because it seems like this insurmountable task, especially if you have quite a bit to lose. People look at it as a period of self-deprivation they have to go through, a kind of trial by fire, something hard but temporary that they will do to get the weight off and then they can go back to normal. That's not how it works. This is going to take a long time - a really long time. It will never really be over if you intend to maintain the weight lost, so you need to look at making changes that you can actually live with. It's a long road, and it's not always easy (otherwise everyone would be slim), but it doesn't have to be torture either. So, don't "go on a diet"' keep things simple. Hit your calorie goal.
Check this out too: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
Wow I love that you took the time to write all this to me. And everything does make sense I do know it is a lifestyle change, i know it is impossible like you said but i just wish i could be motivated everyday. Which is not possible. Also congrats on your weightloss.0 -
I am just starting out after realising that I just have to stop swinging between whats the point and oh my god how unattractive I look because my clothes are tight and I feel bloated etc etc. 5 ft 2 and weigh 165lbs -
I was worried about how much exercise I could realistically achieve as it was too dark in the mornings to walk my dog on the longer 2 mile walk and I when I get home I only have about 45 mins spare before I prep dinner for myself and my partner who gets in after me. I have a sedentary job which can be very stressful at times I am also not a fan of gyms - having wasted many memberships in the past!
So - as of 1 week I have been doing about 5 minutes with 2kg hand weights and some sit ups and I walk my dog around the smaller block which takes about 15 minutes. I take the stairs at work and at weekends I walk about 2 miles with the dog and have planned some longer walks with a work friend and when the mornings lighten up I will walk the dog around the 2 mile block.
And - maybe I need to turn on the computer and find some good dance/zumba videos and maybe spend 30 mins when I get home from work doing a work out.
I need to increase willpower and get on with it instead of dreaming about how I can look!
Violettaff
i am loving Shanu T Focus T25 and it is only 25 mins i just cant miss a day because i dont know how to gt back to it0 -
All of the above, unless you are clinically depressed, in which case you might benefit from a visit to your doc, or therapy, or a combination thereof? I know when I am depressed it feels almost impossible to work on any goals (career, home, self-care, etc.). This time of the year is bad for those of us who battle depression. Good luck to you!
Yes i am clinically depressed and i do see a doctor and i know that is what makes it so much harder.0 -
Because you're eating food you don't like and doing exercises you don't enjoy, probably.
No one wants to do and eat stuff they hate for the rest of their lives.0 -
...but still why can't I stay motivated.
You can't.
Nobody can, over the long term.
What you need to do is become disciplined. Treat it like a job (or better).0 -
The hard thing is motivation comes from within so until you find something that is important to you, you won't have it. My motivation had nothing to do with losing weight or getting healthy. I used to be on anti-depressants which didn't make me feel good at all. My therapist wanted me to be around people so I would go to this cheap local gym because it was the only place I could think of where I would be around people but have an excuse not to really interact with them much. Instead I discovered that working out made me feel better than any pills could. I started working out regularly after that because I loved how good I felt afterwards.
And when I started on here it was tough and frustrating, but as I progressed, I got more and more excited to reach the next milestone. I did lose my motivation last summer and ended up gaining back some of the weight I lost, but I've been working on the issues that caused that and am getting back on tracking.
You aren't going to be motivated all the time. But when you find the thing that works for you it will feel great. And often the best way to find it is just to do a lot of internal work and deal with what is eating you.0 -
Because you're eating food you don't like and doing exercises you don't enjoy, probably.
No one wants to do and eat stuff they hate for the rest of their lives.
No i enjoy my workouts and i am a super great cook so i know how to cook healthy and unhealty.
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...but still why can't I stay motivated.
You can't.
Nobody can, over the long term.
What you need to do is become disciplined. Treat it like a job (or better).
ok true i love that last line0 -
I always tell myself that this next month, year, whatever, is going to happen whether or not I eat right. I can either waste the time and feel just as depressed later or I can push through the tough days. Then, when that next month has passed and I've done well, it's easier to look at the next month and say, "welp, this next month is going to happen with or without me, what am I going to do with my time?" Good luck, lady, it gets easier as you go, I promise!0
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Because you're eating food you don't like and doing exercises you don't enjoy, probably.
No one wants to do and eat stuff they hate for the rest of their lives.
No i enjoy my workouts and i am a super great cook so i know how to cook healthy and unhealty.
If you enjoyed it you wouldn't come up with excuses not to do it.0 -
I always tell myself that this next month, year, whatever, is going to happen whether or not I eat right. I can either waste the time and feel just as depressed later or I can push through the tough days. Then, when that next month has passed and I've done well, it's easier to look at the next month and say, "welp, this next month is going to happen with or without me, what am I going to do with my time?" Good luck, lady, it gets easier as you go, I promise!
Tahnk You!!0 -
Because you're eating food you don't like and doing exercises you don't enjoy, probably.
No one wants to do and eat stuff they hate for the rest of their lives.
No i enjoy my workouts and i am a super great cook so i know how to cook healthy and unhealty.
If you enjoyed it you wouldn't come up with excuses not to do it.
for you information i am clinically depressed so it is have to even look forward to your day..0 -
Mswife09, I think one answer to your question is that motivation is not enough. It can get us started on the path, but it won't be there day in and day out. Sometimes we just have to "do it", as Nike once famously 'said'. Kelly McGonigal has done a lot of work in the area of willpower, including her dissertation for her Ph.D a few years back. Check out these links for greater insight:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower
http://blog.ted.com/2014/01/08/the-science-of-willpower-kelly-mcgonigal-on-why-its-so-dang-hard-to-stick-to-a-resolution/
Neuroscientists who study self-regulation also believe there is a chemical connection; that one can build up willpower by "exercising" it, and can replenish the chemicals necessary for self-regulation by finding ways to relax. This is one reason it has been suggested that sleep and rest are so important for weight loss (Baumeister, 2007). Even something as simple as sitting in a comfortable chair listening to music for 10 minutes can help boost your resolve.0 -
Do you hear a voice inside your head, telling you that you are a failure, that you should quit, give it up, you will never be good enough, pretty enough, that you deserve to be sad, unhealthy and overweight, that good things are just out of your reach...
We all do. This voice, in my humble opinion, has always guided humanity, always spoken to us. It is neither good or bad or an angel or a demon. It means only to protect us, no matter the costs, short term or long term. It evokes our fight or flight mechanism. It's a drill sergeant, a tough coach who drives us to do the impossible.
Over the course of human history, this voice has protected us from failure by backing us down and pushed us over the limits of what we thought possible. But all we hear in the modern world, all we think we hear is that we should give up and that's what we do, because the known feels better than the dark, b/c it's easy to take the path that is clear and well-traveled.
Listen to your voice carefully, listen to it with an open heart, open your mind to it's wisdom. It will push you forward, beyond the impasse, around the bend, if you let it or it will push you back, for your protection b/c you are not ready for the journey. This voice always thinks about 5 minutes out, there in, lies it's weakness, it will make you give up the long-term gain for short-term pleasure b/c it wants to protect you no matter what.
You have to decide how you want to listen to the voice, you have to make the decision, will your step forward toward the long-term or will you step backward until you know you are ready. Know this, you have the capacity for great things, you can overcome just about any obstacle, you just have to be ready and commit.
I hope this helps.0 -
Do you hear a voice inside your head, telling you that you are a failure, that you should quit, give it up, you will never be good enough, pretty enough, that you deserve to be sad, unhealthy and overweight, that good things are just out of your reach...
We all do. This voice, in my humble opinion, has always guided humanity, always spoken to us. It is neither good or bad or an angel or a demon. It means only to protect us, no matter the costs, short term or long term. It evokes our fight or flight mechanism. It's a drill sergeant, a tough coach who drives us to do the impossible.
Over the course of human history, this voice has protected us from failure by backing us down and pushed us over the limits of what we thought possible. But all we hear in the modern world, all we think we hear is that we should give up and that's what we do, because the known feels better than the dark, b/c it's easy to take the path that is clear and well-traveled.
Listen to your voice carefully, listen to it with an open heart, open your mind to it's wisdom. It will push you forward, beyond the impasse, around the bend, if you let it or it will push you back, for your protection b/c you are not ready for the journey. This voice always thinks about 5 minutes out, there in, lies it's weakness, it will make you give up the long-term gain for short-term pleasure b/c it wants to protect you no matter what.
You have to decide how you want to listen to the voice, you have to make the decision, will your step forward toward the long-term or will you step backward until you know you are ready. Know this, you have the capacity for great things, you can overcome just about any obstacle, you just have to be ready and commit.
I hope this helps.
Thank You so much for your time.0 -
The hard thing is motivation comes from within so until you find something that is important to you, you won't have it. My motivation had nothing to do with losing weight or getting healthy. I used to be on anti-depressants which didn't make me feel good at all. My therapist wanted me to be around people so I would go to this cheap local gym because it was the only place I could think of where I would be around people but have an excuse not to really interact with them much. Instead I discovered that working out made me feel better than any pills could. I started working out regularly after that because I loved how good I felt afterwards.
And when I started on here it was tough and frustrating, but as I progressed, I got more and more excited to reach the next milestone. I did lose my motivation last summer and ended up gaining back some of the weight I lost, but I've been working on the issues that caused that and am getting back on tracking.
You aren't going to be motivated all the time. But when you find the thing that works for you it will feel great. And often the best way to find it is just to do a lot of internal work and deal with what is eating you.
[/quote
yes i use to be on anti-depressents to, but they were making me weird so i stop them four months ago...and back in april i lost 20 pounds in a month but lost hope and quit and i am now back in the beginning.0
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