Struggling to maintain interest

CombatVet_Armywife

I have done really well staying under my calorie goal and exercising 5x a week since joining MFP, I lost 7lbs my first week and was excited for my next weigh in. Last Wednesday I received a call that one of my closest family members died & I had to travel over 35 hours to make it home for her funeral, spent 2 days, turned around and travled another 35+ hours home again. I have lost a week of exercise, but I did manage to watch my calores and I know I did not eat enough while I was traveling.

My problem now is, I have almost lost any desire to continue. This scares me since MFP seemed to be exactly what I needed all these years and I was seeing progress. My question is: does anyone have any advice or has anyone been through a similiar situation and found their way through it?? I have an amazing support system here in my husband and children, but right now I am just having a hard time understanding and coming to terms with her death. (She was only 27 and committed suicide) The tears don't seem to slow, so I have little hope that healing will ever begin. I want so badly to feel the way I did before this happened. I want to continue with MFP as I intended, I just do not care enough right now to want it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

kiffypooh

I am so sorry for you loss! I can't even imagine what you are going through. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

My only advice is to stick around here every day or so, even if you're not logging or not doing what you need to weight wise. Concentrate on taking care of you and helping you heal, the rest will come with time!

ab_shutterbug

Brenda,
I think it's natural for you to be distracted from losing weight in the midst of losing a close family member. take time to grieve and spend time with other immediate family (especially those close to the loved one). Remember to take care of your body during this time and eat nourishing foods - whole grains, fruits and veggies, dairy and protein. Go for walks as this will help you process what's going on and will give you fresh air for your lungs. Breating is important. Check our Andrew Weil's website and breathing techniques, if interested.
I'll say a prayer for you!
Alexa

dawn_eichert

Don't give up but give yourself the opportunity to grieve. Losing someone is difficult but your added circumstances of how young she was and that she gave up makes it even harder. Try to focus on something positive for you and your family and if that is working through MFP, then we are here. Everyone goes through the stages of grief differently. I am in a similar boat as I am attending a close friends funeral tomorrow. I know the day is going to be horrible and I don't plan on doing any exercising but I do plan on allowing myself the opportunity to grieve and then refocus. Don't give up on yourself as what is the good in that. I know I do surprisingly feel better after I have exercised which amazes me since I am have never been an exercise nut and usually avoided it at all costs.

If you need to take a break for you, then do so. But do come back to it otherwise you are hurting yourself. Find a positive outlet for you!!!

Good luck and my thoughts are with you

NH_1970

My sympathies, you are going through grief, honor it and feel it and I'm very sorry for your loss. MFP is probably just being a recipient of part of that grief and it's touching other areas of your life too right? Grief takes time. Unless you want to bury it but that's not the best option.

Exercise and taking care of yourself are positives, and you need positives when you are going through grief, My suggestion is maintain here. Maintain your habit, it can be an anchor for you if you let it.

hawaiianmegan

What a horrible loss, I am so sorry. Try to remember the great progress you made in that first week! Seven lbs is incredible! You know you have the power to have another great week of weight loss if you stick with the program. Try to enlist some friends to join the site, that way you can all motivate each other. I have a few college friends and my mother who have joined up and I've definitely kept up with my food diary and goals because I know they are logging in every day. Maybe they will even exercise with you and they will also be able to relate to your situation and help you cope with your grief as well. Good luck and don't give up!

lizzys

i'm sorry for your loss , that is really sad for someone so young.you will need to stay busy on diet exercise and hobbies it dose get better each day

YourFriendBecky

I have always heard that you shouldn't try to push yourself to make other changes while you are in the midst of heavy personal stress or grief. I'm sure that what happened is causing you to question everything right now, and it's more important that you just do anything you can to comfort yourself as you go through this emotional storm. You'll get back with counting your calories eventually. Just snuggle up with your kids and your husband, breathe deeply, be gentle with yourself, and maybe even try talking to your loved one who's passed on and tell her how you're feeling.

Becky

baldwink

First of all, I am truly sorry for your loss, it is so hard to lose someone that way. Second, give yourself a break, you are grieving and grief looks different for each loss that you experience. Don't worry that you don't feel as enthusiastic about watching what you eat right now, you'll get back to feeling that way again, like you said you have great support in your family. Allow yourself to grieve realizing that it's probably not going to be something that you can predict how long it will last or in what order it will happen. Grief is a process and when you are through the hardest part, you will know and you will be able to get back to some semblance of normalcy. Until then, stop "should"ing yourself and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, write, cry, read, yell, hit a pillow, whatever you need to do. You will get back to doing this at some point, hang in there.
Kibra

CeleryStalker

First, I'm sorry about the loss of your family member. The loss of my dad 5 years ago is what put me at my highest weight, so I know it's not easy to maintain interest when you are grieving.

I'd suggest trying something new to the mix. I'm going to a Hot Yoga class this Saturday and Sunday. I've never done that before, and I'm really looking forward to it.

Chat up a lot on the threads. Don't just lurk, talk! Offer advice to others in need, empathize with others in the same boat as you, start new threads, heck, how about starting a new challenge? That has helped me in the past. Start a challenge, then you have to be responsible for updating and orchestrating the thread and conversations in it.

Good luck!

CombatVet_Armywife

I wanted to thank each of you for responding and offering such kind words of encouragement. I cannot explain in words how incredible the members of this site have been and what an impact it's had in my life. I am grateful everyday that I found this site. I listened to, and appreciated each of your posts. I took a deep breath, and refocused my attention on the goals I set for myself. While it is still an itensely painful time and I know that it will take time to heal, through the support of my husband and MFP members I have been able to get back in there and take care of "me"!

Thank you all again for taking the time out of your day to respond & offer your support, it is people like you that make this site what it is!! May God bless each of you....:flowerforyou:

Kath712

Brenda,
My brother committed suicide two years ago, and I can still remember the dark period I went through afterward. It went on for a few months. But like you, I had incredible support from my husband and friends. I eventually came out of it. I don't cry everyday now, like I did at first. I can reflect on my brother's death and keep it in perspective. I think about what he would want me to do, and he would want me to live a healthy life. He was a fitness fanatic, so he would be happy that I'm taking care of myself.

Take care of yourself. Allow time to grieve. Although you will always miss your family member, these feelings of despair will pass. You've gotten off to a great start - don't give up. Just give yourself some time to deal with and get over this tragedy.

Take care,
Kathy