Is it OK for your S/O to try & negotiate..?

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Replies

  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
    For hostage release?

    lmao
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member


    lol.. I told him then neither one of us are gonna get any then.. Im pretty strong about standing my ground..

    Ya'll gonna be some grumpy romantics.
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    It's called compromise. It's how a healthy relationship works.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,250 Member
    It's called compromise. It's how a healthy relationship works.

    Mmmm... I wouldn't call "agree to do X to me sexually, or I won't have sex with you at all" healthy, exactly...
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
    i'm cool with negotiation


    however we usually just tear clothes off and get into it too fast to sit there and "ok I'll do A if you do C then I want some G while you get some Y."

    that being said I see nothing wrong with it...

    EXCEPT....it sounds like you are talking about doing things people hate....implying that it's ok to negotiate for things that don't bring pleasure to one of the people involved...and for me that's bad...

    that's a sure fire way to head down the "I'm not in the mood." or "not tonight" or "I dont' wanna" roads...

    sure I like some things my partner doesnt....sure he likes some things I don't...but we have enough things we DO like together that we threw out what we don't like....

    just tossed it... for us it's not worth the score keeping and tallying who's turn it is...and frankly negotiation.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    Ex would do pretty much anything. Only negotiation was along the lines of "oh, you don't want go to a party with people you hate? Here's a blow job, you're going." Sex was a powerful negotiation tactic.
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
    Is it ok for your partner to try a negotiate deals with you in bed?
    As in.. I'll do this... if you do that..

    Actually that could be kinda hot...you could get VERY creative!
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
    If you gotta negotiate, something's not right. Unless it's a part of some weird kinky thing you're into.

    It depends I think. My former husband and I went to couple's therapy ( I of course did not know that at the time he was already engaged to his new wife ) and were actually instructed to negotiate, because it's not always about what you do in bed, but also about when and under which circumstances. There are actually quite a few things that can be negotiated that have to do with sex or being sexy, but have nothing to do with certain sexual practices.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
    Negotiation?

    Nah, I ask, and I get it.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
    I'm okay with it, although it would be nicer if a partner wanted to do so purely to provide pleasure

    right! I don't see why it should be a negotiation. My SO likes to negotiate, I don't. lol

    I guess he must be doing what you like, and you're not doing what he likes.

    Apparently.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Can't recall when negotiation was necessary. I've never told my wife no for anything she has asked for and she has never refused any of my requests.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    I think it's OK for you to have boundaries and have them respected. There are some things that are off the table for me, never will be on the table, and my husband understands why and would never traumatize me by bringing them up.

    It's also OK for someone to call it a day with you if their needs are not being met.

    I'd rather be alone than put my mental health in jeopardy because that's what it took to keep a particular person around.
  • Tiernan1212
    Tiernan1212 Posts: 797 Member
    Ex would do pretty much anything. Only negotiation was along the lines of "oh, you don't want go to a party with people you hate? Here's a blow job, you're going." Sex was a powerful negotiation tactic.

    Love this! Although that's more along the lines of bribery than negotiation :laugh:
  • sjohnny
    sjohnny Posts: 56,142 Member
    ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION, EVERYONE!!!!

    THE OP WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT SHE IS IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP THAT INVOLVES HER HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
    I don't really see a problem with it. In fact, if you guys are negotiating it means neither of you are afraid to communicate what you want in bed, which is really great! Communication is key. :)

    It also means neither of them are getting what they want in bed.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    Is it ok for your partner to try a negotiate deals with you in bed?
    As in.. I'll do this... if you do that..

    Negotiation in the sack is not a problem.

    Holding out on something until you get your way is.
  • HWeatherholt
    HWeatherholt Posts: 283 Member
    Totally. Be GGG baby!

    This.

    There are things I enjoy doing from time to time that I understand aren't my partners fav but they are willing to "give in" from time to time if I'm willing to "give in" from time to time and do things once in a while that aren't my fav.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION, EVERYONE!!!!

    THE OP WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT SHE IS IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP THAT INVOLVES HER HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!
    Well, in fairness, she's pictured with a kid, and her ticker has a baby, so at this point that part seemed like a foregone conclusion. Unless she's got one of them cabbage patch kids... :laugh:
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
    It would depend on the terms & conditions of the small print for me. If I didn't enjoy/felt uncomfortable with something. Then I would just say no. I don't really like the notion of bargaining over things in bed.

    This And,

    If you have to negotiate (which sounds a lot like beg) it seems like it would take the fun out of it. If both people aren't into it, how can it be fun?
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION, EVERYONE!!!!

    THE OP WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT SHE IS IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP THAT INVOLVES HER HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!

    i think it means that SHOULD be in a sexual relationship with another person that WANTS to have sex with her but she won't let him, because.....reasons.

    banana-in-the-tailpipe-o.gif
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION, EVERYONE!!!!

    THE OP WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT SHE IS IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP THAT INVOLVES HER HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!

    i think it means that SHOULD be in a sexual relationship with another person that WANTS to have sex with her but she won't let him, because.....reasons.

    banana-in-the-tailpipe-o.gif

    And she's bored enough to share it with all of us.

    I don't really care, but thought this would look interesting on my feed.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I don't know if it's OK, but it sounds kind of odd to me. I don't do things to get things. I do them because I like making him happy.
  • somefitsomefat
    somefitsomefat Posts: 445 Member
    I think it depends on how much the upfront fee was. I could see somethings costing extra if it was low. Also, are we talking nightly, hourly, or in 15 minute blocks?
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION, EVERYONE!!!!

    THE OP WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT SHE IS IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP THAT INVOLVES HER HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!

    i think it means that SHOULD be in a sexual relationship with another person that WANTS to have sex with her but she won't let him, because.....reasons.

    banana-in-the-tailpipe-o.gif

    why you gotta steal my gif? :tongue:
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION, EVERYONE!!!!

    THE OP WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT SHE IS IN A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP THAT INVOLVES HER HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER PERSON!!!!!

    i think it means that SHOULD be in a sexual relationship with another person that WANTS to have sex with her but she won't let him, because.....reasons.

    banana-in-the-tailpipe-o.gif
    Hey, I ain't fallin' for that.

    :noway:
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    I consider negotiations a man's game.

    When my husband negotiated with my father for me, he was granted two goats, ten chickens, and rights to certain tracts of land. Those tracts of land are my breasts.

    Sorry I can't offer more help.
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  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    I consider negotiations a man's game.

    When my husband negotiated with my father for me, he was granted two goats, ten chickens, and rights to certain tracts of land. Those tracts of land are my breasts.

    Sorry I can't offer more help.

    congrats to your hubs on his successful negotiations. i'm sure the joys of plowing the land he received are bountiful
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    As long as it isn't done in a manipulative way (as in trying to force someone to do something they are pretty set in not wanting to do) I don't really see an issue. Otherwise, it would be along the same lines of withholding sex to manipulate your partner in some way. My ex tried that, and she found out that not only did I not need sex as much as she thought (hell, I am king of the dry spell lol), I can also be just as frigid in every aspect of life as she was being in the bedroom. :-)

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