Is it OK for your S/O to try & negotiate..?

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  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    "Negotiation" is kinda fun and flirty. I'm not talking about pressuring someone or being manipulative - just fun stuff. These kinds of negotiations should always result in a win-win scenario. :wink: :smooched: :blushing:
  • DeltaZero
    DeltaZero Posts: 1,197 Member
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    Just break up.

    not a choice.. terms & conditions.. remember lol

    Need a better lawyer.
  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
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    Like, I'll consider kissing if you brush your teeth? Yeah thats legit

    Ive used that line before.. lmao... "first thing in the morning" kisses aren't for me, we both need to use some toothpaste, :)
  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
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    "Negotiation" is kinda fun and flirty. I'm not talking about pressuring someone or being manipulative - just fun stuff. These kinds of negotiations should always result in a win-win scenario. :wink: :smooched: :blushing:

    Yeah only if my hubby learned how to be romantic..
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
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    There's no negotiation. I say what I want, and then I give her an all tomato, like so:
    tumblr_m9a1lyRUwq1rdh4w9o1_500.gif
  • WuTanquerayClan
    WuTanquerayClan Posts: 132
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    "Tit"-for-tat?
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    It would depend on the terms & conditions of the small print for me. If I didn't enjoy/felt uncomfortable with something. Then I would just say no. I don't really like the notion of bargaining over things in bed.

    lol. Exactly! Like he's holding back on any activity with me until I do what he says (terms & conditions) lmao

    That's not negotiation, that's coercion, and that's not cool.
  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
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    "Negotiation" is kinda fun and flirty. I'm not talking about pressuring someone or being manipulative - just fun stuff. These kinds of negotiations should always result in a win-win scenario. :wink: :smooched: :blushing:

    Yeah only if my hubby learned how to be romantic..

    LIGHT BULB:

    I'll do this for you...., if you kiss up & down my spine.. :D
  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
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    It would depend on the terms & conditions of the small print for me. If I didn't enjoy/felt uncomfortable with something. Then I would just say no. I don't really like the notion of bargaining over things in bed.

    lol. Exactly! Like he's holding back on any activity with me until I do what he says (terms & conditions) lmao

    That's not negotiation, that's coercion, and that's not cool.

    lol.. I told him then neither one of us are gonna get any then.. Im pretty strong about standing my ground..
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    For hostage release?
  • KariOrtiz2014
    KariOrtiz2014 Posts: 343 Member
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    For hostage release?

    lmao
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
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    lol.. I told him then neither one of us are gonna get any then.. Im pretty strong about standing my ground..

    Ya'll gonna be some grumpy romantics.
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
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    It's called compromise. It's how a healthy relationship works.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    It's called compromise. It's how a healthy relationship works.

    Mmmm... I wouldn't call "agree to do X to me sexually, or I won't have sex with you at all" healthy, exactly...
  • SexKittenlovesitrough
    SexKittenlovesitrough Posts: 486
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    i'm cool with negotiation


    however we usually just tear clothes off and get into it too fast to sit there and "ok I'll do A if you do C then I want some G while you get some Y."

    that being said I see nothing wrong with it...

    EXCEPT....it sounds like you are talking about doing things people hate....implying that it's ok to negotiate for things that don't bring pleasure to one of the people involved...and for me that's bad...

    that's a sure fire way to head down the "I'm not in the mood." or "not tonight" or "I dont' wanna" roads...

    sure I like some things my partner doesnt....sure he likes some things I don't...but we have enough things we DO like together that we threw out what we don't like....

    just tossed it... for us it's not worth the score keeping and tallying who's turn it is...and frankly negotiation.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    Ex would do pretty much anything. Only negotiation was along the lines of "oh, you don't want go to a party with people you hate? Here's a blow job, you're going." Sex was a powerful negotiation tactic.
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
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    Is it ok for your partner to try a negotiate deals with you in bed?
    As in.. I'll do this... if you do that..

    Actually that could be kinda hot...you could get VERY creative!
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
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    If you gotta negotiate, something's not right. Unless it's a part of some weird kinky thing you're into.

    It depends I think. My former husband and I went to couple's therapy ( I of course did not know that at the time he was already engaged to his new wife ) and were actually instructed to negotiate, because it's not always about what you do in bed, but also about when and under which circumstances. There are actually quite a few things that can be negotiated that have to do with sex or being sexy, but have nothing to do with certain sexual practices.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    Negotiation?

    Nah, I ask, and I get it.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    I'm okay with it, although it would be nicer if a partner wanted to do so purely to provide pleasure

    right! I don't see why it should be a negotiation. My SO likes to negotiate, I don't. lol

    I guess he must be doing what you like, and you're not doing what he likes.

    Apparently.

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