What will make me succeed this time? - Help

maggiek22

Hi guys, I am not new to this board but haven't been on it since last August. At the time I was asked by my gyno to loose weight. This was the first time anyone in the medical profession had told me to do something about my weight ( I was 5ft 5 then and 218lbs) I had joined the gym around that time with my sister and her boyfriend however due to the high cost and distance the gym was I found it very hard to go (that along with how much hard work it took). So after 2 weeks of really hard workouts and severely strict diet I gave up.

My problem is I have always been overweight/obese and although I have tried numerous diets and seen some short lived success I never manage to stick to them. I think it is because I get too hard on myself to the point that its not realistic and I give up and gain more weight. I am such an emotional eater and in fact I think I'm addicted to food. The problem is when I am eating my breakfast I am thinking about what I will have for lunch and dinner :-/

two days ago I started a new plan and that was to do slimming world, as in a way counting calories makes me become obsessed with what I am eating and I find I crave all sorts of bad things. I like the idea of eating healthy meals but not having to cut out carbs nearly completely. I also started walking the dog the first day for 40 minutes and yesterday for 50 minutes. I am trying to ease myself into exercise and healthy eating.

The Big problem is I didn't weigh myself two days ago and decided to do it today. Thats when I got a shock 231lbs! I am so disheartened I have put on a whole stone in 4 1/2 months! how did I do this? Well I know mindless eating whenever I wanted which included countless take-aways and chocolate bars. But this has really scared me and annoyed me, I am disgusted with myself. It makes me realise if I keep going the way I am I will die young. Now on a side note my grandmother who I was very closed to and cared for passed away and it was and still is a very sad time for me. I kept telling myself it was ok to eat what I wanted cause I was so upset and that I would go on a diet soon.

I suppose I'm just scared what makes this time any different than the times before? in the past I have felt as determined and confident I would succeed and failed. What can I do to make this attempt succeed. Oh and to top it off I have an appointment with my gyno as a follow up to the last one and I am terrified, ashamed and embarassed that I have put on a stone not lost the weight I had so enthusiastically told her I would. I am even considering not going but I know that would be stupid.

Basically I just need support and motivation, my boyfriend is ok but he eats whatever he wants and never puts on weight. my sister on the other hand berates me for starting slimming world telling me I can't eat carbs after 1pm ect. Basically any adivce or thoughts on what I have just rambled on about. thanks :-)

phuckingbadasscutie

Hey! I just started using MFP again, only on my second week now, and I have found it so helpful. Last time I used it I didn't have any "friends" to keep me on track. Now I have made friend on here and I feel that I have to do healthy stuff because they can see if I'm not. I think just starting with small changes will help you. Set small goals for yourself so that you can reach them and once you reach them set more. It's all about mind set and being ready mentally for it. Good luck! I'll send you a FR.

wrenegade64

I feel your pain young lady. I was really on the road to successfully getting my health in check when I was a paramedic and a police officer, then on Christmas Eve 1994, I was struck by a car at the scene of an accident and lost my left leg. My activity plummeted needless to say, even after I got fitted with an artificial leg. Since I can't work that streets like I used to, I have had nothing but desk jobs every since and my weight has yo-yoed ever since then.
I will be 50 this year and I have commited to NOT let the years I have left be wasted because my butt is the size of a dump truck.

Diets are a joke. Just the word "DIET" makes the average person cringe. I am changing up my lifestyle. As long as there are no tornadoes or hurricanes outside, I am typically grilling my food. Heavy on the seasonings and light on the marinades cuz most of them have lots of sugars and/or oils.

When you cook/grill your meats, under cook some of them that you are gonna put in the fridge or freezer so that way when you reheat them, they will finish cooking and won't be dry.

Steamer veggies in the freezer are a must. With so many varieties out there, there is no excuse to not have any or to get bored.

WATER WATER WATER. Fills you up and cleanses you also. Keep little bottles of flavor enhancers handy. A Mio in the purse, a Crystal Light in the glove compartment in the car, a Sugar-Free Kool-aid in the desk drawer at work.

I would seriously consider investing in a good protein bar. Quik, ready, and ULTRA YUMMO! We have Quest Bars on hand and they are to die for! My favorites are Strawberry Cheesecake, Vanilla Almond Crunch, and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.

Last thing, STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOUR BUDDIES HERE! We all have a story, we all have a struggle, we all have good days and bad, so we can all relate. You are not alone young lady. Keep your eye on the prize and stay in touch :-)

rockmama72

I can relate to eating breakfast and thinking about lunch at the same time. I love to cook and eat, and it shows!

I've been a successful loser in the past, and looking back, what made me successful is turning my health into a hobby. For about the first month or 6 weeks, I spend my free time looking for healthy recipes, or playing fitness games with myself (can I beat my time on my 2 mile walk? Can I complete X challenge?) Nothing too restrictive, no exercise that's too intense unless I'm really feeling it. I work on forming new good habits, like drinking water and not having that bowl of cereal before bed.

When I ease into it like this, it doesn't seem so hard. After a month or so, I evaluate. Can I up my exercise now that I've built a bit of strength? Do I need to tweak my calories? Taking it month by month sort of renews me.

I've also been an unsuccessful loser in the past. A plan that's too aggressive never works for me. I have to ease in.

caffeinekandie

What made me realize I was ready for this attempt to work was reminding myself of two things

1) don't judge yourself from your past, you don't live there anymore
2) it's not a diet it's a lifestyle change-that has no ending

I'd suggest looking at what people who have succeeded and are maintaining their weight currently do, then how they did it. It helped me figure out that I don't need to give up everything I love to eat to loose weight.

ataylorgardner

First off, welcome!! You have been given some good advice here. To me the work diet implies a short term thing people do to lose weight. What people need to understand is that in order to lose weight and keep it off you have to make a lifestyle change. you have to change your relationship with food forever. If you believe you could have a food addiction is there a support group in your area you could go to? Even if all you do is listen it may help you get started on the right track. dont give your self too many restrictions at this point. If you deny yourself too much you will most likely end up going off the wagon. Learn to eat in correct proportions and start making healthy choices. It helps me to limit the amount of junk in the house which is hard to do with my hubby and a teenager in the house but if its not there then that means you have to go somewhere to get it. That gives you time to pause and rethink the choice. Walking is great exercise and I know a few people that have lost a lot of weight doing nothing but walking. I think its a great place to start just be consistent and do it 3-5 days a week at least 30 minutes a day to start. I would also recommend not weighing yourself for a while. When you focus on the numbers on a scale too much and can easily derail you. Also when starting to exercise or starting a higher intensity program than your body is use to your body needs time to adjust. It is not uncommon to gain a few pounds the first few weeks as your bodys cortisol production goes up. Dont worry usually in about 3-6 weeks this stops and you should start noticing some real changes.

Maybe keep a journal. Jot down your progress, if you slip write about what was going on in your life, what your emotions were at that time. it may help you spot triggers and thereby allowing you to be able to avoid them later. Ok now I think Im rambling. you have people here that will support you and help motivate you. Good luck!

florentinovillaro

I believe you need a strong enough reason to succeed such as living past your 50's, being able to go to the bathroom, something that will pull you towards your goal of weight loss.

In addition, a lot of studying on health really helps.

Last but not least, support from the outside, or on MFP. Build a long list of ACTIVE and SUPPORTIVE friends. Not just a long list.

I hope this helps you, it did for me.

Feel free to friend me and I'll be more than happy to introduce you to a team of 300 motivated users on MFP.

victoriaalice39

Hi! I understand the struggle you are feeling. Everyone here has really help you with great advice (they helped me too, so thank you for posting this question) My advice is to be kind to yourself. You have to live with You forever, love yourself to know that this is something you need to do for you.
Feel free to add me We can get through this together.

wannabpiper

Every one of these posts carry great ideas. One that I might add is that I really don't enjoy exercising. So rather than exercise, I download audio books onto my cell phone, put on my awesome new running shoes, and take myself for a nice 3-mile walk whenever I can with my stories. I try not to let myself listen to the stories any time except when I go walking so that I have something to look forward to, rather than trying to talk myself out of the walk. Best of luck to you in your quest for better health.

wonderwoman234

Okay, I'm going to hit you with some psycho-babble that may help you.

When it comes to emotional eating, I think it's important to remember that you are getting something out of it. If you weren't, you wouldn't do it.

It's kind of a theory of "competing commitments (or priorities)". In my case, I wanted to lose weight, but a competing priority was that I also wanted to feel happy, less frustrated, and less unfulfilled and I felt that eating yummy, comforting food was the way to achieve that. So my commitment to not feel emotional pain was stronger than wanting to lose weight/be thin, and so I gained 50 lbs over the past 5 years.

It took me some time, but eventually I realized that eating actually did not make the things that were making me unhappy any better. I was overeating and STILL was unfulfilled, frustrated, and sad sometimes. So it became easier to embark on this journey once I realized that eating was not giving me anything other than more weight.

Having self-compassion instead of judging yourself harshly is HUGELY important to losing weight, I think. You don't have to be perfect to lose weight. It can be hard to not feel bad about yourself for being overweight in our very judgmental society, but it is important to NOT buy into the idea that your worth is somehow defined by your body size. It's not. We are all valuable as humans, regardless of how fat or skinny we are.

You can't sustain weight loss if you are starving yourself. Try to get protein at every meal and keep track of what you eat, but allow yourself to eat everything in moderation. Gimmicks don't work in the long run. Just accept that you will have to pick and choose in order to balance everything out. So if you want a rich dessert on a certain day, you might want to have a lighter lunch and make sure you exercise on that day.

Finally, I have found that for me, exercising is really important to feeling good. I used to run 7 miles a day whenI was thinner and younger. When I gained weight, in the beginning I used to judge myself for not being able to still run for that long (or at all after an injury), but now I feel good if I get ANY exercise. I think to myself that it's better than doing nothing. This attitude shift is important, I think. Now I walk on an incline on the treadmill for 60 minutes while listening to my iPod and reading a good book and I get a great workout and feel great. Maybe in time I'll get back to running, or maybe not. I just feel good about being active. Yay me! I am also trying to do more lifting since that helps boost metabolism.

Hope this helps. I'd say learning to love and accept yourself at any size is an important step in the journey. Being overweight doesn't make you a bad person. Having been thinner in the past, I know for sure that it didn't make me happier. I like myself more now, even though I'm heavier at the moment. I want to lose weight to be healthier and more active so that's what I'm doing.

Sorry to ramble. I wish you luck!!

momof3boys090808

Hi! Today is only my second day back, yup that's right I said back. I started 2 years ago and logged in everyday for over a year. I was so proud of myself and met new people on here who also encouraged me. I lost 50 lbs. it's so easy to be down but try to remember it's a life style change and nothing happens over night. It's the small steps that matter the most. I am such a emotional eater or well was. I am trying to hard to stay busy and not think about all the yummy snacks my kids have in there. It hasn't been easy but with friends who support you can help a lot. Find a friend who wants to do it with you. Work together. And add friends on here they are great encouragers. Were all here for one reason or another. You got this. The ending reward is so much better then the brownies that last just a minute...good luck. Feel free to add me if you want

mlh37214

This is round 2 for me, too. I lost 25 lbs the last time, but have ultimately gained it back, and then some. For me, a workout routine or goal is where I start and my eating follows. I love to eat! That's the problem. My keys to losing the last time, and hopefully doing it again: log everything! Even if you're over your allowed calories by 1000, log it. When I saw it in writing, it helped me do better the next day (I don't share my journal with others, seeing it for myself is shame enough!). Plan, plan, plan. Sit down before you go to the grocery and plan your meals. Or at least have an idea. I'm working a job now, where I can't hit fast food for lunch. What a blessing! I have to plan a meal and snacks for my 10 hours there. If you have nothing but healthy things with you, you either eat them or sit there hungry. And I allow myself to have "bad" things. Completely cutting things out leads to binging. I buy a pint of ice cream a week. When it's gone, it's gone.

As far as working out, find something that you enjoy. I love to walk/jog. Set a goal. Mine was a 5k. This year, it's 10 races. Walking, jogging, whatever it takes to finish!! And the other thing that I've done differently this time, is my own notebook/journal. I included different workouts to switch things up when I can't get outside to walk, and some personal challenges. I also joined a couple of challenges on here. Lots of people to help keep you accountable. For my weight loss, in the notebook, I broke it down month by month. 6 lbs a month looks a whole lot better than 95 lbs. Small goals seem a whole lot more doable than a massive goal!!

Nicolee_2014

The key to succeeding is being ready to want it.

lahlypop

Wow, everyone is so smart and helpful. This is a great place to come to for tips or encouragement. i learned a lot but one thing that was either explicitly or implicitly stated in nearly all of the great posts was that you need to be nice to yourself and celebrate every positive change. Remember, you are improving everyday, the improvement doesn't start after all the weight is lost, it starts now. I think the British term for dieting is so much better than the north american - i'm not dieting, I'm slimming. we're all slimming.
thanks for asking the question and getting such helpful responses for all of us!
good luck to us all
Lahly

EmmaNilsson77

Educate yourself!

Read this;
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

You said the last time you tried this, you worked out like crazy and severely restricted your diet. Of course you failed-that's not sustainable.

Plugged your numbers in briefly, and saw that you can, at this point, easily lose weight on 1800 cals/day without exercise.

You don't have to go down the 1200 cal/day route. I promise! Build healthy, sustainable practices for life. You can totally figure this out!

And feel free to add me if you like!

MTGirl4Life

What made me realize I was ready for this attempt to work was reminding myself of two things

1) don't judge yourself from your past, you don't live there anymore
2) it's not a diet it's a lifestyle change-that has no ending

I'd suggest looking at what people who have succeeded and are maintaining their weight currently do, then how they did it. It helped me figure out that I don't need to give up everything I love to eat to loose weight.

Totally agree!

ninerbuff

First- don't diet
Second- make sure you don't exceed your calorie allowance
Third- be consistent
Fourth- find and exercise routine you can do and enjoy

Follow those and you should be able to succeed.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

HollisGrant

I am a lot older than you, but last year I lost over 50 pounds. I don't belong to a gym and don't own any equipment. I did buy a good pair of sneakers, but that was my only expense. You don't have to spend money to lose weight.

You lose weight when you reduce your calories. You can lose weight eating any kind of food. You could lose eating Pop Tarts for all your meals (although you would have terrible nutrition).

I chose to cut out foods that I can't stop eating or that bother me for ethical reasons, but you don't have to do that (you could try to learn moderation). I made up an eating plan based on foods I like, that are easy to make, and that I know I can eat long term. Other people might not like my food style, but it works for me. Include foods you enjoy, whatever they are, or you will feel you are punishing yourself.

Find an exercise you enjoy, anything that gets you moving, and you are more likely to stick with it. Go small. Choose to be positive and compliment yourself for what you can do today instead of looking at how far you need to go.

MTGirl4Life

Welcome! This is my third time back on MFP; and I pray that the third time really is the charm for me!! Over the years, I have been doing research, buying several different diet books and getting a lot of research from shows like Dr. Oz, Oprah, etc., an then researching the internet. I finally decided that I am not going to follow a diet plan, but I would do what I felt was best for me. I am eating somewhat low carb, and that is because from the last time I lost weight, I noticed that my lower carb weeks were the weeks that I lost the most. I am a big sweet eater, and I am an emotional eater, having food addiction traits. My family has witnessed several of my outbursts if I could not eat the sweets when I was wanting to emotionally eat; very similar to a drug addict or alcoholic. One key for me was coming to terms with things that happened to me as a child, and to not allow my dad to have control in my life. Taking the control from him has seemed to make a difference for me; I have given my inner child a voice, so now I do not feel that I have to stuff the feelings down by suffocating them with food (and I pray I maintain that voice). I also am currently reading two books about food addiction. I was also a popoholic, and not the diet stuff. I hated lemon water, and I have recently discovered that I do enjoy it, so I drink about 6 to 8 glasses of lemon water, plus 2 to 5 cups of green tea every day. If I have a snack attack at night, I drink a hot cup of tea made by using a tea bag of green tea and a tea bag of apple cinnamon tea (otherwise, I do not like many herbal teas). I also created for myself a very extensive spreadsheet that tracks my weigh ins (I weigh every morning, and take the weigh in on Fridays as my official weekly weigh in), inches lost in my hips, waist, and abs, BMI, and Fit To Fat Ratio. It will also help me track my TTDE (I probably wrote that wrong). I know "they" say not to weigh every day, but for me, I have decided that since I tend to have an addictive personality, I am fine replacing a food addiction with an addiction to daily weigh ins and posting it to my spreadsheet. This spreadsheet also has graphs, so the visual is really good for me. I love my spreadsheet!!! My family does not share in my desire to eat healthy (my husband and 24-year-old daughter will at times, but they give up), so this time around I have decided that I need to put myself first. Tonight, for instance, it was difficult to smell their baked ziti and cheesey garlic texas toast, but I knew that it was my choice to make myself a priority, and so I chose to eat my healthier meal. One of the most important things for me to do for eating is to prep the fresh vegetables ahead of time so I have them easily accessible when I am making a veggie omelet, salad, etc. I just re-started 1 1/2 weeks ago, and I have yet to start exercise. I know that I will, but I will also take it slow, as I do not enjoy exercise, and I especially do not like exercise in a gym. I did it before, and I know I will do it again when needed (bad weather, too dark to walk outside, etc.). A lot of people have other good information for you. Take what you know/feel will work for you. This is not something we can do in a blink of an eye, and that we need to take time, be kind to yourself, and simply jump back on track if you have a higher calorie day than you planned. Heck, on Sunday, I had pizza, pumpkin pie, and ice cream. The difference was that I knew I was going out for pizza, so I ate a lower calorie "brunch", and then at dinner, I ate about half of what I would have previously eaten, and I drank water. The next morning when I weighed, I was prepared to see the scale up by at least 4 to 6 oz. To my surprise, I was down 3 oz, and the next day I was down 2 oz. I know, too, that I have to eat within my calorie range over the next week so that I make sure I stay on track. If you would like more thoughts or suggestions, please friend me. I would also appreciate your support, should you like to share it. I wish you well in your journey.

Lauracanbe125

What a great reply!!!! We all need support buddies!!! Sign me up too!!! Laura

_Zardoz_

I am a lot older than you, but last year I lost over 50 pounds. I don't belong to a gym and don't own any equipment. I did buy a good pair of sneakers, but that was my only expense. You don't have to spend money to lose weight.

You lose weight when you reduce your calories. You can lose weight eating any kind of food. You could lose eating Pop Tarts for all your meals (although you would have terrible nutrition).

I chose to cut out foods that I can't stop eating or that bother me for ethical reasons, but you don't have to do that (you could try to learn moderation). I made up an eating plan based on foods I like, that are easy to make, and that I know I can eat long term. Other people might not like my food style, but it works for me. Include foods you enjoy, whatever they are, or you will feel you are punishing yourself.

Find an exercise you enjoy, anything that gets you moving, and you are more likely to stick with it. Go small. Choose to be positive and compliment yourself for what you can do today instead of looking at how far you need to go.

Fantastic response

As for your title. The only thing that will make you succeed is yourself. Outside influences can effect you but in the end it comes down to you your will power and what you are doing. The thing with losing weight is everyone has an opinion and wants to give it to you if you want to hear it or not. So you just have to be sensible and get on with it your way. Everyone is different so what works for some wont work for others. Take other viewpoints absorb and throw away the bits that don't apply or work for you.

The most important thing is finding something you will stick with. You don't need fad diets of any sort. You will find by counting your calories you are drawn to the healthier foods anyway as these normally fit within calories better anyway. You can have a glass of wine or the occasional chocolate bar if you wish. Just remember moderation is the key

The two most important words in weightloss are 'Moderation' and' Patience' if you keep those in mind you will do well. Good luck and there is no reason you can't succeed in your goals feel free to add me if you wish (if not no problem)