My family eating schedule sucks for me

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .

If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.

This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.

However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.

I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .

There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.

Real jobs don't come in pretty packages where people can just leave when they want to have family dinner a whole 30 minutes earlier on a wife's arbitrary eating schedule.

OP, eat a couple carrots or something while you wait for dinner time. And teach your kids to respect their father's job that keeps him from coming home before 6. Make dinner time 6 pm, build some patience in yourself and your kids, and if he has to work later than that, discuss it with him that his dinner will be served heated up when he gets home. Good lord, even waiting until 6:30 isn't going to starve anyone.

Francl27

5 or 5:30 is pretty early for dinner. How about setting a strict 6pm dinner time? If he's not home, his will be cold. Have a snack if you are hungry.

Then I usually don't have enough calories for dinner, lol.

Francl27

These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .

If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.

This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.

However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.

I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .

There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.

Real jobs don't come in pretty packages where people can just leave when they want to have family dinner a whole 30 minutes earlier on a wife's arbitrary eating schedule.

OP, eat a couple carrots or something while you wait for dinner time. And teach your kids to respect their father's job that keeps him from coming home before 6. Make dinner time 6 pm, build some patience in yourself and your kids, and if he has to work later than that, discuss it with him that his dinner will be served heated up when he gets home. Good lord, even waiting until 6:30 isn't going to starve anyone.

Thought I mentioned he has a flexible schedule, all that matters is that he gets his work done, doesn't matter how long it takes, when he gets to work or when he leaves.

rml_16

5 or 5:30 is pretty early for dinner.

Not when you're up at 5 a.m.

On weekends when I sleep in, I usually don't eat anything at all until at least 3. But during the week, when my day starts between 5:30 and 6 a.m., I'm STARVING at 5 p.m.

Anyway, I say either try spreading your daytime meals out a bit more, leave room for a snack, choose foods that fill you up better and longer and wait that extra half hour or don't and don't worry about him eating with the family. He'll adjust or he won't.

SunofaBeach14

These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .

If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.

This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.

However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.

I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .

There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.

Another poster confused by real jobs telling those of us with them about big words. Well done

1PatientBear

These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .

If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.

This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.

However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.

I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .

There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.

Real jobs don't come in pretty packages where people can just leave when they want to have family dinner a whole 30 minutes earlier on a wife's arbitrary eating schedule.

OP, eat a couple carrots or something while you wait for dinner time. And teach your kids to respect their father's job that keeps him from coming home before 6. Make dinner time 6 pm, build some patience in yourself and your kids, and if he has to work later than that, discuss it with him that his dinner will be served heated up when he gets home. Good lord, even waiting until 6:30 isn't going to starve anyone.

Read the part I quoted from the original OP where she talks about her husband's flexible work schedule. Thanks for playing though. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .

If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.

This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.

However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.

I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .

There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.

Real jobs don't come in pretty packages where people can just leave when they want to have family dinner a whole 30 minutes earlier on a wife's arbitrary eating schedule.

OP, eat a couple carrots or something while you wait for dinner time. And teach your kids to respect their father's job that keeps him from coming home before 6. Make dinner time 6 pm, build some patience in yourself and your kids, and if he has to work later than that, discuss it with him that his dinner will be served heated up when he gets home. Good lord, even waiting until 6:30 isn't going to starve anyone.

Read the part I quoted from the original OP where she talks about her husband's flexible work schedule. Thanks for playing though. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.

Well, bless your heart.

She's still being arbitrary and making a big deal over 30 teensy minutes.

1PatientBear

These pesky men just don't seem to do what their women tell them to do . . .

If you can't wait until 6:00 for dinner then there's something just as wrong with you as there is with your husband staying up late. Grow up and learn to discuss your issues with your spouse and find a compromise.

This is overly simplistic. I don't wait until 6:00 for dinner most nights either and there isn't anything wrong with me at all. I agree that OP needs to find a compromise with her spouse.

However, this: "hubby is not making any effort to go to work earlier in the morning so he can go home earlier at night (it's flexible, he could totally do it, but he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes)" is a load of crap. Either (A) he gets to work earlier or (B) he misses dinner with the family. Quit enabling him.

I'm pretty damn sure that there are two sides to this story, and 30 minutes isn't exactly a long time. I said "just as wrong" but not sure you got that . . .

There are two sides to every story. And yeah, I got that. Or did you not read the rest of post where I said her husband's lack of effort is crap? It's ok. Sound out the big words, chief.

Another poster confused by real jobs telling those of us with them about big words. Well done

Lol. I have a great job and it is a real career (not just a job) for a Fortune 500 company. But thanks for assuming something you know nothing about.

_Waffle_

he stays up until 1-2am, then sleeps in until 8am, then doesn't leave for work until 10am sometimes).

And his gamertag is ZombieSlayer899 right?

Should I just go with 'sorry dude, you're on your own'' and forget family time so I don't have to starve?

I think you're confusing starvation with mild hunger. Oh, and pick and choose your battles. This really doesn't sound like it's a war worth having. My 2 cents.

doughnutwretch

I would suggest a little compromise. You try to eat on a schedule slightly later than normal and pick foods that are filling for long periods of time (high protein, fiberous carbs, good fats) and then have dinner ready and on the table by 6:15. If he isn't home by then, you can leave his on a plate in the microwave and he can reheat if necessary when he gets home.

Francl27

5 or 5:30 is pretty early for dinner.

Not when you're up at 5 a.m.

On weekends when I sleep in, I usually don't eat anything at all until at least 3. But during the week, when my day starts between 5:30 and 6 a.m., I'm STARVING at 5 p.m.

Anyway, I say either try spreading your daytime meals out a bit more, leave room for a snack, choose foods that fill you up better and longer and wait that extra half hour or don't and don't worry about him eating with the family. He'll adjust or he won't.

Yeah I'm going to have to work harder on spreading my food. It's just been tough lately!

KrazyDaizy

Ultimately it comes down to what is best for the kids.

I do understand that he can make choices to get home earlier if he did "x", but he doesn't do it and he may never do no matter what you say to him. You DO need to discuss it with him and tell him how it makes you feel, but in the meantime think about what the kids will remember when they are older. Will they remember eating dinner around the table with the entire family making memories or will they remember their mom making a big deal about 30 minutes to prove a point when she could have spaced out her calories and meals a little better?

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

Ultimately it comes down to what is best for the kids.

I do understand that he can make choices to get home earlier if he did "x", but he doesn't do it and he may never do no matter what you say to him. You DO need to discuss it with him and tell him how it makes you feel, but in the meantime think about what the kids will remember when they are older. Will they remember eating dinner around the table with the entire family making memories or will they remember their mom making a big deal about 30 minutes to prove a point when she could have spaced out her calories and meals a little better?

Bingo. The only thing I see happening here is that the kids learn to disrespect their parents over arbitrary and meaningless matters because that's the lesson being taught. That, and immediate gratification is good and self-control is bad. As silly and ultimately inconsequential this whole thing is, the lessons being taught aren't.

rml_16

5 or 5:30 is pretty early for dinner.

Not when you're up at 5 a.m.

On weekends when I sleep in, I usually don't eat anything at all until at least 3. But during the week, when my day starts between 5:30 and 6 a.m., I'm STARVING at 5 p.m.

Anyway, I say either try spreading your daytime meals out a bit more, leave room for a snack, choose foods that fill you up better and longer and wait that extra half hour or don't and don't worry about him eating with the family. He'll adjust or he won't.

Yeah I'm going to have to work harder on spreading my food. It's just been tough lately!

I also suggest you do some research and see if you can maybe eat more calories. If you're eating the MFP default, it may be too low and you can probably get away with eating more (a mid-afternoon snack, for example).

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Ultimately it comes down to what is best for the kids.

I do understand that he can make choices to get home earlier if he did "x", but he doesn't do it and he may never do no matter what you say to him. You DO need to discuss it with him and tell him how it makes you feel, but in the meantime think about what the kids will remember when they are older. Will they remember eating dinner around the table with the entire family making memories or will they remember their mom making a big deal about 30 minutes to prove a point when she could have spaced out her calories and meals a little better?

This is a good point.

Also, sit down and talk to your husband about it. Emphasis how important family meals are to you. Ask him nicely to try a little harder to be home just before 6 so you can have dinner at 6. It's amazing how well simple polite expression of feelings and communication can work.

ShellyBell999

Didn't see the part where he works 7 days a week so,
How about making his days off the family sit down time while adjusting so work nights might fit in occasionally.

skullshank

i fail to see the dilemma here.
if you need to eat dinner at 5, then go for it. when he gets home, why not sit with him and have a glass of wine or a snack and talk then?

tbh i envy your situation....between my sons activities and my getting home at 730pm at the earliest (no choice in that matter), my wife, son, and i only get to really eat together on tuesdays and weekends.

you should budge a bit and hold off eating dinner, and he should budge a bit and try to be home at a consistent time so the family can eat together.

chopper_pilot

You are in charge.

da_bears10089

You feel really hungry in the morning because your body is trained to eat that early. Your body can be re-trained. If you want to have family time around the dinner table, then you either should request that he comes home earlier, or push dinner back to when he "usually" gets home.

I ate breakfast all the time, but then i felt like i was depriving myself for dinner because I like to eat large meals. I don't eat anything in the morning anymore besides drinking my coffee, then i have a larger lunch and dinner.

seltzermint555

Have you ever tried intermittent fasting. Not the crazy 24 hour fast either before anyone goes crazy. I myself like having calories at the end of the evening instead of early. I drink water all morning and eat my first meal at noon. I eat all my calories between 12pm-8:30pm. Then I fast till noon the next day. That is a typical 16 hour daily fast. For women it is recommended that they don't fast for more than 14 hours. You could hold off till 10am and have your first meal and go from there. Now you have calories to eat later. Just a thought.

weird. I usually do not eat from 6 pm to 7 am. So is that a 13 hour "fast"?