Getting the most out of exercise...

I was talking to my oldest son this morning who is 25 while I was getting ready for work and he made a comment that really burns... The discussion was about what my ideas and plans were for incorporating exercise into my life and weight loss... I have been tossing around either getting an X-Box with Knex's or joining the gym. My Daughter nad her boyfriend want to join a gym and my youngest who is 17 also wants to workout. My oldest though puts in his 2 cents and says "joining a gym is a waste of money and time." That hurt and burns because I am doing this to get healthy, I am currently (according to medical charts) 70 pounds over weight, the medical charts say I should be 165# or less but for me I am happy and look good at 175-180# which is my goal weight. I know that if I do not incorporate exercise into my weight loss that I will stall fast and get frustrated sooner with the lack of results causing me to give up altogether.
My problem with the XBox is that there are to many distractions at home and I am concerned I will not get in the quality of exercise I should. So the gym makes more sense as long as I can keep myself from feeling guilty for "taking away time from my husband and family". I know the argument that I will in the long run be adding time for them by extending my life. but the here and now is the hard part. My husband is not the type to work out at the gym or at home. I'd be lucky if I could get him to go for a walk or a bike ride with me once in a while. so there is the time away from him in the evenings.

"if" I join the gym by my house my plan would be to work out at least 5 days a week, example: Monday thru Friday, taking the weekend off or occasionally throwing in a weekend workout. I was thinking that on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday doing Cardio for 30-60 minutes, changing up between the treadmill, elliptical, rowing machine and bikes maybe even the stair climber. and then on Tuesday and Thursdays focusing on weights machines and sit ups/ crunches. I figure I would be spending about 1-2 hours at he gym at least 5 days a week.

I would like to get input from others how do you manage you time in the gym and balancing family and self especially when you work full time?

Thank you...

PS: Also I know there are a few Fitness professionals on MFP.. if any of you would mind adding me as a "friend" maybe checking in on me from time to time and giving advise I would greatly appreciate it. I can't afford to hire a trainer/ nutritionist, unfortunately. Thank again.
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Replies

  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,903 Member
    I think I'd switch the weights to MWF and then cardio on T/TH. And you'd want to be a little particular about when you work which muscle groups for recovery reasons.

    I am NOT a strength/conditioning coach, but it seems like 2 days/week might not give you enough opportunity to lift enough, unless you spend several hours in the gym. And doing Tuesday/ Thursday may not give you enough recovery time, depending on which muscle groups you work on those days.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    A year or two ago, we bought several of the exercise programs for XBOX that utilize the Kinect feature.
    You need quite a bit of room in front of the TV, and they include floor exercises and sometimes it doesn't see you when you are down on the floor.
    We found the XBOX Adventure to be more strenuous than the actual exercise programs. Although it was horrible on my knees.

    Personally, I prefer a gym and have had much success at a NY Sports Club.

    If you are concerned about money, you might try your local "Y". Many are nicely renovated now and services are usually available on a sliding scale based on income.

    Many gyms include baby sitting services at a discount, if that helps.



    Good Luck.
  • dfranch
    dfranch Posts: 207 Member
    I hate to disagree with EvanKeel, but I'd stick with the cardio to get started. It will speed up the weight loss. Lifting weight adds muscle which adds weight, which gives the impression of slower weight loss. Once you've lost some weight you can always increase the weight training and decrease the cardio.
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
    I think I'd switch the weights to MWF and then cardio on T/TH. And you'd want to be a little particular about when you work which muscle groups for recovery reasons.

    I am NOT a strength/conditioning coach, but it seems like 2 days/week might not give you enough opportunity to lift enough, unless you spend several hours in the gym. And doing Tuesday/ Thursday may not give you enough recovery time, depending on which muscle groups you work on those days.

    Agreeing on the MWF weights and TTh cardio.

    If going to the gym and working out there will get you motivated to continue, then do that.
    Don't listen to your oldest son.

    However, when you are doing weights, try to use free weights (dumbbells, barbells, and kettlebells) over the weight machines. Your results will be much quicker and your strength will increase better with free weights. Machines do the stabilizing for you so you aren't getting all of the benefit from the program.

    Look into Stronglifts 5x5 and New Rules of Lifting for Women.
    Both are good reads and good programs.
    Both also have groups here on MFP for support and questions.

    In my personal opinion, Stronglifts is a better program due to it's simplicity.
    But NROLFW is a good book with great info and that author isn't as obnoxious as the Stronglifts guy.

    Most gyms will offer a free session with a trainer when you join unless it's Planet Fitness.

    But youtube and bodybuilding.com are both resources for form videos.

    ETA: used "arguing" instead of 'agreeing" fixed
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
    I hate to disagree with EvanKeel, but I'd stick with the cardio to get started. It will speed up the weight loss. Lifting weight adds muscle which adds weight, which gives the impression of slower weight loss. Once you've lost some weight you can always increase the weight training and decrease the cardio.

    Don't listen to this.

    While you are losing weight you want to retain as much lean body mass as possible.
    And by incorporating weights, you can do this.
    More lean body mass (LBM) means that you burn more calories at rest.
    And it means you get to eat more.
    And who doesn't want to eat more?!

    Plus by retaining LBM, you won't be 'skinny fat' (not a huge fan of the term tbh).
    Meaning, at your goal weight, you'll have a lower body fat % and be firmer and tighter.


    So at 5'7" and 150lbs, I'm a size 4.
    I lift weights often.

    When I was 17, I was 5'7" and 128lbs. Also a size 4.
    20lbs different. Same pants.
  • thatATLgirl
    thatATLgirl Posts: 60 Member
    Join a gym. You can't beat that level of exercise. Don't let your family make you feel guilty. After all, it's not like you'll be there 6 hours a day, only about an hour or so. ALSO, I don't have children or a husband, but I have heard from people who do, that early mornings are best so there's less to get in the way of going. DO IT! :)
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    I hate to disagree with EvanKeel, but I'd stick with the cardio to get started. It will speed up the weight loss. Lifting weight adds muscle which adds weight, which gives the impression of slower weight loss. Once you've lost some weight you can always increase the weight training and decrease the cardio.

    False. She will not add any significant muscle while in a deficit...even as a newbie who is lifting as heavy as possible, the gains will be minimal.
  • JTick
    JTick Posts: 2,131 Member
    Double post. :grumble:
  • tr66
    tr66 Posts: 23 Member
    Don't make things too complicated on yourself. I started simply by walking everyday during my lunch hour. Get a pedometer for a few bucks and set a goal to walk between 8-10k steps per day. Kick the nicotine habit before spending any money on a membership or toys or gadgets.
  • EvanKeel
    EvanKeel Posts: 1,903 Member
    And..On the topic of starting a weight lifting routine:

    I'd suggest either working with a trainer who can help you with your form, or obsessively watch videos and use lighter weights to start. Once your muscles get used to the proper movements, you can add weights. Stronglifts 5x5 kind of works that way, where you start light and gradually add weight, but I'd still try to be very picky about form early on to avoid injury later.
  • Jady777
    Jady777 Posts: 20
    My opinion on the xbox or gym is none, I feel like xbox is a bit dumb and gym is a waist of my money and time, I use fitnessblender.com, and have the 30 day shred video, as well as any other workouts on youtube. I get the same results as a gym or xbox. As for lifting obviously the gym has more choices, but you can buy weights too.
  • Personally, I need to actually go to the gym to motivate myself to work harder. Not everyone needs that motivation. You need to know what works for you.
  • OregonShell
    OregonShell Posts: 44 Member
    Thanks all your input is helpful... I'll have to check out the reading material to build my weight part of my work out.
    I think Starting with cardio 3 times a week and Weight 2-3 times a week for now is the way I need to start then switching it in a few months... OR I could just change it up and one week m,w,f cardio and T,Th Weights and the next week M,W,F Weights and T,TH Cardio... that may also help keep my body guessing so it doesn't get to used to a regular routine...

    I think I am going to talk to my husband tonight about the gym idea though. Heck with the money I am saving by quitting smoking I should be able to budget it.

    Lots to research
  • Stage14
    Stage14 Posts: 1,046 Member
    I don't get why you are personally hurt by your son not thinking a gym membership is a good investment. Perhaps for him, it wouldn't be a good way to motivate working out but for you it would. That's perfectly fine.

    As far as your workout plans go, here's my .02.
    a. Personally, I love the gym. It allows me to mix up my workouts with different routines and equipment when I'm bored, and my progression isn't hindered by my bank account because everything I need to move up to the next level of liftingc is all right there for one monthly payment.
    b. Slow down and temper your expectations. Planning 5-6 days a week starting out is insanely aggressive, and can cause burnout or even injury. Start with something like 3 days a week and then once that is established, add in more.
    b. As for weights vs cardio, if you're doing a good beginner routine, you can absolutely get good results lifting only two days a week because your routine will be full of compound lifts that work the whole body rather than isolated movements that don't do much for you anyway at this stage. How much cardio you add to that is your call. Just remember more cardio=faster weight loss but also more cardio = faster muscle loss. You have to find a balance that works for you.
  • tr66
    tr66 Posts: 23 Member
    Some insurance plans now offer discounts to fitness clubs. Through my insurance, I pay $26/month and can use ANY of the health clubs they are affiliated with. Best of all, there are no membership fees or contracts. Its worth asking your employer.
  • OregonShell
    OregonShell Posts: 44 Member
    That makes sense TR66... My only concern is the demands my kids and husband put on me and the way I feel guilty when I don't "do for them" or "take care of them" I think getting away from the house is what would work for me best, working out at home is well and good as long as you don't have to many distractions and are not having to worry about who you are "disturbing" while they are sleeping or relaxing after their day...
  • OregonShell
    OregonShell Posts: 44 Member
    Stage 14: the reason my sons comments burn me is because he was telling me I shouldn't join a gym because it is a waste of money. and why should he discourage me if I am quitting smoking and want to spend $40 a month on me for a gym membership to be healthier then why not... no he wants me to buy the XBox so he can play video games .. that is not what this is for.. .not why I am doing it... It hurt that instead of being encouraging he turned it around to be how it would benefit him ... at least that is how I felt
  • xcazax
    xcazax Posts: 43 Member
    Personally I think that the gym would be a better option. Realistically when you think about it, how many people have so much exercise stuff in the house that they dont use whereas if you go to the gym then it is all there for you. Plus you have pointed out that your son would like the xbox to play games on so how often would you even get the time to spend on it
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
    That makes sense TR66... My only concern is the demands my kids and husband put on me and the way I feel guilty when I don't "do for them" or "take care of them" I think getting away from the house is what would work for me best, working out at home is well and good as long as you don't have to many distractions and are not having to worry about who you are "disturbing" while they are sleeping or relaxing after their day...

    All of your kids are 17 and up according to your profile.
    They can do crap for themselves so you can have some me time
  • DoriLuke
    DoriLuke Posts: 26 Member
    Join a gym. You can't beat that level of exercise. Don't let your family make you feel guilty. After all, it's not like you'll be there 6 hours a day, only about an hour or so. ALSO, I don't have children or a husband, but I have heard from people who do, that early mornings are best so there's less to get in the way of going. DO IT! :)

    Totally agree with this!
  • nitka653
    nitka653 Posts: 97 Member
    Tough decision. I often run this one through my head. I've done both, wasted money on a gym membership and wasted money on an xbox and other stuff (including a mid-range expensive eliptical). Either way, it's only a waste if you don't use it.

    I really love the idea of going to the gym and getting some alone time. But often feel I won't use it enough to pay for itself or I set way to grand of goals in the beginning and pitter out because I'm overwhelmed. Right now I'm taking it one week at a time, one day at a time really. I don't want to stress myself worrying about 6 months from now when I'm on vacation or riding my bike and still paying for a gym membership. I give myself reasons not to work out no matter where I do it though.

    You just gotta decide what YOU want to do right now, don't even let your family weigh in on it. You are worth WAY more than $40, so just do it! Whatever that is :D
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    1. create a daily calorie deficit of 500 cals
    2. Join the gym
    3. read starting strength and new rules of lifting for woman
    4. develop a program of compound lifts - deadlifts ,squats, rows, overhead press, pullups/chin ups, bench press. As you progress make sure that the weight on the bar is increasing.
    5. set your macros to 40p/30c/30f

    As far as balancing gym and life you need to find a time an hour a day when you can go, and when you will go, no excuses. I always go after work. So I come home, change into my gym stuff, and hit the gym…the only time I do not go is if I am really sick or something…or if I am running really late from work but that is rare…

    Once you start doing it all the time it will become a part of your routine and you will not want to miss your one hr a day of gym time.
    Make sure the gym has a section with power racks and a place to deadlift…do not be afraid of the weight room…barbells and free weights are your friends….
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    I hate to disagree with EvanKeel, but I'd stick with the cardio to get started. It will speed up the weight loss. Lifting weight adds muscle which adds weight, which gives the impression of slower weight loss. Once you've lost some weight you can always increase the weight training and decrease the cardio.

    what? OP is not going to gain muscle in a calorie deficit….additionally, muscle and fat weight the same…one is just more dense….
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
    I hate to disagree with EvanKeel, but I'd stick with the cardio to get started. It will speed up the weight loss. Lifting weight adds muscle which adds weight, which gives the impression of slower weight loss. Once you've lost some weight you can always increase the weight training and decrease the cardio.

    Oh dear.
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
    I was talking to my oldest son this morning who is 25 while I was getting ready for work and he made a comment that really burns... The discussion was about what my ideas and plans were for incorporating exercise into my life and weight loss... I have been tossing around either getting an X-Box with Knex's or joining the gym. My Daughter nad her boyfriend want to join a gym and my youngest who is 17 also wants to workout. My oldest though puts in his 2 cents and says "joining a gym is a waste of money and time." That hurt and burns because I am doing this to get healthy, I am currently (according to medical charts) 70 pounds over weight, the medical charts say I should be 165# or less but for me I am happy and look good at 175-180# which is my goal weight. I know that if I do not incorporate exercise into my weight loss that I will stall fast and get frustrated sooner with the lack of results causing me to give up altogether.
    My problem with the XBox is that there are to many distractions at home and I am concerned I will not get in the quality of exercise I should. So the gym makes more sense as long as I can keep myself from feeling guilty for "taking away time from my husband and family". I know the argument that I will in the long run be adding time for them by extending my life. but the here and now is the hard part. My husband is not the type to work out at the gym or at home. I'd be lucky if I could get him to go for a walk or a bike ride with me once in a while. so there is the time away from him in the evenings.

    "if" I join the gym by my house my plan would be to work out at least 5 days a week, example: Monday thru Friday, taking the weekend off or occasionally throwing in a weekend workout. I was thinking that on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday doing Cardio for 30-60 minutes, changing up between the treadmill, elliptical, rowing machine and bikes maybe even the stair climber. and then on Tuesday and Thursdays focusing on weights machines and sit ups/ crunches. I figure I would be spending about 1-2 hours at he gym at least 5 days a week.

    I would like to get input from others how do you manage you time in the gym and balancing family and self especially when you work full time?

    Thank you...

    PS: Also I know there are a few Fitness professionals on MFP.. if any of you would mind adding me as a "friend" maybe checking in on me from time to time and giving advise I would greatly appreciate it. I can't afford to hire a trainer/ nutritionist, unfortunately. Thank again.

    I agree almost completely with ndj1979. But I think you need to first get very mentally ready. Going from zero to 5 workouts can set up a person for failure. I work in a gym I see it all the time. Take the first month or two and get comfortable with the routine of even going to the gym. You are dealing with guilt issues and those frankly have to be resolved.

    A mix of cardio and weights is a solid plan. When you join a gym, any decent gym will have someone who can show you the equipment, get you comfortable and allow you to get a sense of the gym culture and how you want to play within.

    I would also highly, highly recommend you find stroutman81 and follow him. He has a group called The School of Strout and this guy gets it. He actually is my trainer (virtually) but you can reap the benefit of what he offers for free here on MFP. He is well respected and understands the process.

    I think that once you find that you are putting your health first that you will actually be an even more awesome wife and mother than you already are because you will be happy with yourself. It will be a win/win.

    Good luck.
  • meganw2020
    meganw2020 Posts: 107 Member
    I personally have had several gym memberships over the years but have never used them much. I prefer working out at home, I don't find the gym motivating I find it a pain (the people , getting there, ect). I have been using Fitness Blender workouts (totally free online) lately and love them, the only thing you are really missing out on are all the free weights in the gym but there are lots of great workouts you can do using body weight that are very effective, especially if you are a beginner. If you are working hard and pushing yourself you don't need to exercise for hours a day, I lost 60 lbs working out for 30-45 min 4-5 days a week doing a combo of strength and cardio all in my own home with some adjustable dumbbells and a kettlebell (along with a healthy diet and calorie counting of course). If you think the gym will motivate you then go for it, just know you have options.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    1. create a daily calorie deficit of 500 cals
    2. Join the gym
    3. read starting strength and new rules of lifting for woman
    4. develop a program of compound lifts - deadlifts ,squats, rows, overhead press, pullups/chin ups, bench press. As you progress make sure that the weight on the bar is increasing.
    5. set your macros to 40p/30c/30f

    As far as balancing gym and life you need to find a time an hour a day when you can go, and when you will go, no excuses. I always go after work. So I come home, change into my gym stuff, and hit the gym…the only time I do not go is if I am really sick or something…or if I am running really late from work but that is rare…

    Once you start doing it all the time it will become a part of your routine and you will not want to miss your one hr a day of gym time.
    Make sure the gym has a section with power racks and a place to deadlift…do not be afraid of the weight room…barbells and free weights are your friends….

    listen to this guy

    keep your gym time FOCUSED, make a plan and follow it. dont use gym time to socialize or goof off on the machines.

    first get in the habit of going to the gym for like 4-6 weeks. by then you should be in the habit of going.

    check out books like starting strength, new rules of lifting for women or strong curves. there's also a website called strong lift. weight lift/strength 3 days a week. the other days you go if youre able to fit it in then do some cardio

    you will NOT gain loads of muscle and get bulky while eating at a deficit when you lift weight lift, heck it's pretty hard to do on purpose when you're eating well if you were able to gain crazy amounts of muscle while on a deficit you'd be breaking 1 law of thermodynamics and contradicting the fact that we cant have perpetual movement in our universe. trust me, anyone who tries to convince you that you will has probably either never taken a science class or failed every one they took.
  • OregonShell
    OregonShell Posts: 44 Member
    I have had gym memberships in the past and I really love working out, I love the high afterwards, My only problem before and why I didn't stick to it I think was I let the self guilt get to me... the time away from my husband, but I now realize if I don't do this I will not be around very long,

    With both the recent loss of my Dad to a major heart attack, my risks for having one my self have dramatically increased. Lets see, I am 60 pounds over weight, I have high bad cholesterol, low good cholesterol, I smoke, and am fairly sedentary...

    The owner ofthe gym one time asked me "what do you do with all of that energy when you are not working out?" the thing is I don't have as much when I am not working out.. so ...

    Guilt aside, money figured out and I am doing this, for me and for them.
  • bheathfit
    bheathfit Posts: 451 Member
    Proud of you for choosing to change your life and future. Here are a few side notes that may help you stay on track.

    - Take a water bottle with you everywhere. I use an insulated Contigo. Stays cold and folding lid keeps water clean. Stay hydrated for energy!

    - I have a pre packed gym bag. It contains any supplements that I may be taking, quick healthy snacks, shoes, socks, shorts, shirt, shampoo, body wash, lifting gloves, heavy bag training gloves, workout tracking sheets, etc... Leave yourself no excuses like "Oh, I forgot my....." Make a plan to succeed! If you ever come across an excuse, alter your gym bag to compensate and have it in the vehicle at all times.

    - If you run into time constraints, do whatever workout you can do. If you don't have 45 minutes to lift, do 15 minutes of HIIT. Do something every time and you will build the habit of being at the gym. If time is constantly an issue, change when you go to the gym.

    - People will say stupid things to you. Understand that they love you, but are simply ignorant to your goals. This will help to build the muscle and bone of character regarding workouts in your life. Continue on...

    - When the day comes that you tell yourself "Oh, I don't need to go to the gym today. One day won't hurt..." Go ahead and keep arguing with yourself and keep driving to the gym. I have argued with myself many times on the way to the gym and find that there is no argument left when I arrive at the gym... Funny how that works.

    - If you do whatever you do wrong enough, long enough, you will someday be blessed with the opportunity to help others down the same path to health that you are taking.

    Cheers!
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
    Stage 14: the reason my sons comments burn me is because he was telling me I shouldn't join a gym because it is a waste of money. and why should he discourage me if I am quitting smoking and want to spend $40 a month on me for a gym membership to be healthier then why not... no he wants me to buy the XBox so he can play video games .. that is not what this is for.. .not why I am doing it... It hurt that instead of being encouraging he turned it around to be how it would benefit him ... at least that is how I felt
    Your son is a young dependent. That's what they do. Do what you want with your money, and tell him to mow lawns if he wants an xbox so badly.