Have no idea what I'm doing, need help

chuirreat

Hello. I am very new to the community and am looking for support/advice on how to gain weight healthily (not workout).

My main problems with not being able to gain weight is: constant lack of appetite, disinterest in foods, not feeling hungry, extremely picky, low motivation. I don't think I am depressed at the moment, or anorexic tbh, but have suffered from clinical depression about 5-7 years prior. I can spend ten minutes in the kitchen looking directly at food I think is tasty but have no desire to eat it.

I tried this website in June 2013 for about a month, then faltered, and am back to it now as I haven't made (much) progress.
I am an asian female 168cm or 5.5 ft. At June 2013 I was 51.2kg/112.8 pounds (18.1 BMI according to http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/guidelines/obesity/BMI/bmi-m.htm). I've maintained a weight of 53kg/116.8 pounds (18.8 BMI) since then, but by extremely unhealthy methods (snacks, chocolates, high-sodium, fast foods, etc.).

My current goal is to get to 55kg/121 pounds, and eventually 58kg/127 pounds, which is what I used to weigh about 5-7 years ago when I ate more regularly and had an active lifestyle in martial arts.

I've been trying to make regular meals of rice, eggs, and spam/sausage maybe 2 times a week but obviously this isn't a very amazing solution. In June 2013 I was eating maybe only one small meal a day. Currently, my "normal" meals for a day are: Breakfast - very often nothing, or one cup of hot chocolate. Lunch - Saltine crackers with Nutella, or 1 serving of leftover rice/eggs/spam. Dinner - One cup of hot chocolate and 1.5 servings of Mac & Cheese / Velveeta / Toast with some spread, or 2-3 slices of bread with spam/sausages. Snacks will be maybe 1/3-1/2 cup of chips or whatever tidbits I have lying around.

I'm sure the obvious solution here is to have more regular meals that contain more meat in them, but I am wondering if anyone has any food reccs / meal plan suggestions, or straight out telling me I'm just too lazy and should try harder to eat more.

Walter__

Eat more healthy fats such as nuts, oils, avocados, etc. One tbsp of peanutbutter for example is 90 calories, 1 tbsp of coconut oil is 120 calories. Have a few scoops and it's an easy way to get more calories in.

Meggiepegs

Have you thought about gaining lean muscle mass? if you want, go to bodybuilding.com it has a lot of info

angdpowers

Eat more healthy fats such as nuts, oils, avocados, etc. One tbsp of peanutbutter for example is 90 calories, 1 tbsp of coconut oil is 120 calories. Have a few scoops and it's an easy way to get more calories in.

^^ I agree. However, it really does sound like you are in a depressive state. I know you said you've been diagnosed with it but not "feeling depressed" at the moment, but it sounds like you virtually have disinterest in most areas of life.

Do you associate food with anything? Meaning, do you feel the urge to eat, enjoy eating more, etc when you are with friends or loved ones? Some people (like me) actually want to eat more when in good company.

Also, sometimes when you force yourself to cook REAL food and not eat "whatever is lying around" you tend to workup an appetite. When I use to survey/inspect nursing homes I found that if the elderly were encouraged to participate in prepping the meals, they actually ate MORE.

Eating dried fruit is another nutritious dense food or even adding 1/2 and 1/2 or whole milk to your drinks (like the hot chocolate) or to the meals you cook for more fats/proteins.

chuirreat

Thank you all for the fast responses! I didn't expect replies that quick.

Eat more healthy fats such as nuts, oils, avocados, etc. One tbsp of peanutbutter for example is 90 calories, 1 tbsp of coconut oil is 120 calories. Have a few scoops and it's an easy way to get more calories in.

I actually bought myself a big jar of Planters assorted sugared nuts four days ago and am eating about 1/3 cup a day. It's really good initially but gets somewhat tasteless after the first couple of bites. I will try the peanut butter, I used to like it but for some reason lose appetite when I think about eating it now. Thank you!

Have you thought about gaining lean muscle mass? if you want, go to bodybuilding.com it has a lot of info

I've considered it since I'd like to get back into martial arts again someday. I can try light workouts maybe? Thank you.

^^ I agree. However, it really does sound like you are in a depressive state. I know you said you've been diagnosed with it but not "feeling depressed" at the moment, but it sounds like you virtually have disinterest in most areas of life.

Do you associate food with anything? Meaning, do you feel the urge to eat, enjoy eating more, etc when you are with friends or loved ones? Some people (like me) actually want to eat more when in good company.

I don't feel as strongly suicidal or depressed though, but you are right that I am disinterested in most areas of my life. (Past hobbies have been completely untouched, the only things I do are work and play games to waste away the time lately.) I associate food with extremely negative emotions at the moment, most of them associated with the words "troublesome" and "annoying". I eat more in the presence of my SO since they were the ones who wanted me to gain weight although I had no original intent to - I was quite happy eating whenever and whatever I felt like with complete disregard for calories/weight.

Also, sometimes when you force yourself to cook REAL food and not eat "whatever is lying around" you tend to workup an appetite. When I use to survey/inspect nursing homes I found that if the elderly were encouraged to participate in prepping the meals, they actually ate MORE.

Eating dried fruit is another nutritious dense food or even adding 1/2 and 1/2 or whole milk to your drinks (like the hot chocolate) or to the meals you cook for more fats/proteins.

I just made spaghetti with chicken nuggets and a botched attempt at carbonara, and am eating a small plate of it. I'll be trying to go for a second when I'm done. That's very interesting though, I could try making more new recipes and seeing what interests me!

I'm terrible with fruit but I suppose I can try nuts and bananas (the only fruit I touch). I'm slightly lactose intolerant although I love milk (bad things happen after about half a glass, so that's the most I can take a day) and I've tried those breakfast essential things that have extra vitamins and whatnot. Thank you!

KaiserNiner

I've struggled to gain weight alongside lifting and cycling - as I'm not a big eater anyway and the exercise dampens the appetite further.

When I don't want to eat, but need the food I have the following protein shake:

1 egg
1 egg white
3x Red8 heaped table-spoon Protein Powder
1 banana or table-spoon peanut butter
200 grams Greek low fat yogurt
200 ml mid-fat milk (try a lactose free milk, soy milk, or up the yoghurt in place of)
50 grams rolled oats.

967 calories, 67 carbs, 51 fat, 67 protein.

Out of my daily 3300-3500.

I like that it can be tweaked easily here or there if I need more protein, less fat, different flavour.

It's all part of a wider picture, but after gradually losing weight for over a year, in the last 4 weeks I've gained a little over 3 pounds while body-fat-percentage has apparently dropped 3-4 percent in the same time.

Yeah, so not much to some, but I'm pretty psyched

My recommendation, work out a solid and rounded protein shake (not just a powder/chemical based one but actual ingredients).

Halleeon

My suggestion is to aim for the source, your emotions. Pick up a book and begin learning what's going on inside of you that you're hiding from. A book by Susan Jeffers called "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" is a great beginning point.

You may also want to consider talking to a therapist who knows how to heal.

PM if you're serious about taking suggestions... I'm happy to share my experience and knowledge.

jayrudq

Depression expresses itself in many different ways - being suicidal is the most severe. You can be functional and be depressed. From what you have written, I would look at your mental health and see if this is part of it. Good luck