Hello, & why do I do this to myself?

KellieThurman

Hello all. I'm new to this site, but not to the healthy eating/fitness scene. I have done weight watchers four times in the past (first time in 2000). It works for me. However, I am really trying to budget right now, so I thought I would give this a try. Thus far, I like it. It is fairly similar.

I just posted a pic, a big leap for me. The photo was taken this last October...when my thighs started storing all of the cookies I had been stuffing into my face. I feel that I look 'meaty' in this photo. Yes, I am petite...5'2"...but I have gained approx 10 pounds since October. When I was younger...I felt best when I weighed under 130. Now that I am in my 40s, I feel best when I weigh between 132-135. I look better, have more energy, and feel better. I always give myself a window. Putting on roughly 10 pounds at 5'2" is like trying to stuff a small turkey inside your blue jeans, hoping no one will notice!

I LOVE to eat healthy and exercise. However, whenever I get MAJORLY depressed (I suffer from this and yes, I'm on medication)....I toss all clean eating common sense out the window, ...and stuff my face with chocolate, chocolate....and uh, did I say chocolate? I despise cold/winter...so I stay under the covers in baggy sweats, fuzzy socks...my shapeless cardigans peppered with chocolate covered pretzel crumbs.

Sigh, I've done it again, but I've broken a cycle this time...and I'm a bit proud of myself. Instead of continuing this madness through to the spring...I've decided I would come to my food senses in January. I'm so glad I did. Three days in, I feel great!!

Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just keep the 10-15 pounds off for good? How can I be so successful and fail at the same time? Its like I have this petite, great body image to uphold...and sometimes I get tired/overwhelmed. As I'm knee deep into the back side of my 40s...the great body image is harder to maintain... but I refuse to give in!...but why oh why oh why...do I always struggle when fall/winter hits? Ugh!

Anyone?

SLLRunner

Welcome, Kellie!

I can relate. I'd lost plenty of weight about ten years ago and then I let 30 pounds creep back on. Now that 30 pounds is gone plus five more. My goal is to lose about 8 more pounds. I came here in April and am so glad I did. What I've found are tools to help me learn portion control, how to control what does and does not go into my mouth. I weigh all solid food and measure all liquids, log every single thing I put in my mouth. I log all exercise and eat a portion of my exercise calories back.

The biggest lesson I've learned is that it's not about cutting out certain foods, but learning how to do portion control so that I can have the foods I love. it's about having one serving of ice cream, one chocolate covered pretzel (I LOVE those!), or one cookie, not about having none at all.

I don't deal with depression, but I do know that it can be a culprit for a lot of people to over eat or under eat. Stick around here and I'll be you'll get some replies form others who can relate in this area.

I wish you the best of luck, and I'm rooting for you to make that lifestyle change!

DeeDeeMee

In winter it could be two things:

1. The natural tendency of the body to want to store fat for the cold weather and/or a reaction to being cold in the first place;

2. A depressed state resulting from less sunshine.

If it's the second you might want to see a doctor about your vitamin D levels as they could be depleted. Getting outside for some extra exercise should help to keep you feeling more energised.

If you constantly log your intake on MFP, even at maintenance, you should be able to avoid gaining the extra pounds as it is usually the 'unconscious' eating that does it to us.

meshashesha2012

it sounds like you have an all or nothing approach to this .. clean eating OR chocolate. why cant you have both? if you're denying yourself the things you like even though you could easily fit them into your calorie goals, then you're setting yourself up for failure.. every time