4 days in and already confronted with a cheat dilemma

stealthq

Am I the only one that's noticed this guy's goal is under 1600 cals?

OP, unless a doctor has advised you that you need to get the weight off ASAP for health reasons, why not pick a more reasonable amount to allow yourself? 1600 cals is very low for a guy.

Personal opinion, but you'll do better in the long run picking a more moderate deficit that will allow you to fit in the foods and drinks you enjoy while still losing weight. You should be able to fit in a beer, a hamburger, and some fries and still be able to have more than just water for the rest of the day. I'll also throw in a plug for strength training. It's a big benefit for relatively little time investment.

EDIT: NM, just saw your last post - if it's about avoiding alcohol, that's a whole 'nother animal. I still stand by choosing a more moderate deficit, though. All or nothing efforts have a tendency to leave you with .... nothing.

cuinboston2014

Hey - I'm trying to avoid alcohol for different reasons than you AND to aid in weight loss. And it's HARD!! I've only been alcohol free for 9 days and I am craving a glass of wine. No, wine does not have 300 calories in a glass (OK some of my pours might ) but it still adds up. Plus then I want to snack, like many people after a few glasses.

However, night time instead of wine, I try to keep myself busy doing ANYTHING and then drink tea. Ugh, OK not the best substitute but whatever. I pretend I love it.

When I was just cutting back on how much I had I would go to the bar, drink water and really think about if I was missing out on something by not drinking. Most of the time, the answer was no. I would rather sacrifice my beloved wine than to see the scale go up in the next day or two.

It is hard, but keep your goals in mind. My best advice for tonight would be to drink water or a low-cal alcohol free beverage sicne you are going to a brewery tour on Saturday. And let's be honest - it's silly to go to a brewery tour and not drink a thing. If you do want one beer tonight, make sure you earn it. Hopefully you don't spend money you don't have so don't spend calories you dont' have either!

zanne54

I agree that you're a little too early into your lifestyle change to be putting yourself in a couple of very "testing" situations.

I'm also in my 40's and I made the lifestyle change last January. Those "experts" who say it takes a month to break old/make new habits? Liars. At 30 days, it was still a novelty (and the weight-loss results were intoxicatingly motivating). It was the 2-3 month point that was the hardest for me. The novelty had worn off, and I really wanted to revert to my old ways. I had a couple of bumps in the road where I fell off the wagon, but (and this is the key) rather than go down the rabbit hole with a case of beer and a pizza, I restarted the next day, meal, whatever. Gradually it got easier, and the urge to justify why I should have that burger & fries, beer, cheese, wine, whatever because I had a hard day, a good day, was hungry (insert laundry list of justifications here), well that urge is pretty much gone.

I am still a foodie. I just don't indulge in my food choices every. single. meal. anymore. I still love to drink beer, wine, vodka, whatever. I just don't drink as much nor as frequently. Look at my food diary yesterday: I ate lean for breakfast & lunch so I could go up to the bar with the team after our game and eat some pizza. Last night, I chose food over beer. Sometimes I choose beer over food. And the best times are weekend when I can go do crazy amounts of exercise to earn enough calories to indulge in food and booze and dessert. My Saturday plans are to go to my power skating lesson, then go cross-country skiing for 2-3 hours (or as long as my legs can stand it), eat super light for breakfast & lunch so that I can go to my local sports bar to watch the Leafs vs. Habs and eat 2 lbs of chicken wings with a jug (or two) of beer. I can't do this once or twice a week (that's how I got fat in the first place), but I didn't have to cut it out entirely.

It's all about finding that balance. Expect to fail a few times until you get the hang of it. Nobody is perfect at anything new without lots of practise. And even then, the pros still make mistakes, so don't set unrealistic expectations for yourself - failing doesn't equal quitting; it means sometimes *kitten* happens, you fall down, then you get up, dust yourself off and move on.

zootiesgroove

Am I the only one that's noticed this guy's goal is under 1600 cals?
OP, unless a doctor has advised you that you need to get the weight off ASAP for health reasons, why not pick a more reasonable amount to allow yourself? 1600 cals is very low for a guy.

I base my calories on the weight I want to be, not the weight I am. I've actually had my metabolism tested several years ago when I was working out 4-5 days/week and at my goal weight and at that time, I was only burning 1800 cals (resting). You have to do what works for you. This works for me right now with a sedentary lifestyle and little to no exercise. When I start moving more (or working out more than a couple days/week), I will adjust my intake.

Indiri13

You said the beer is on tap. Instead of ordering a whole pint, why not order a taster? They are much smaller and therefore less calories. Look up their website ahead of time and find some lower calorie options for food and preplan it out.

Also, there is no reason that you can't have a maintenance day every once in a while. Don't go crazy on food, just eat to your current maintenance level (just remember that high sodium foods may cause a little water retention for a few days and don't freak out about the scale jump). For example, yesterday I was feeling totally wiped out and super hungry so I made it a maintenance day as a conscious decision. Since I had a carb heavy day (bread and lasagna) I am up .5 pound today but it's not "real" weight and will go away in a couple of days. Because I took a day off I feel so much better and I jumped back in this morning on the deficit.

jlcrph

I only have a beer if I have worked out that day to EARN it!

jos05

I only have a beer if I have worked out that day to EARN it!

This is exactly how I operate!! I used to really go out and drink... but I have noticed in the last couple of years that I don't have the tolerance that I once had... and why waste 4-10-15 days of hard work... on ONE night out on a the town...

Honestly... I've cut back to 2 drinks at any one time... and I am trying to keep those times down to no more than 2 days a week. It's super hard!!

But I have seriously noticed that it takes days to recover in the gym what ONE drink will do to my body!! .... as you go further along.. you'll either fall off the wagon like a lot of people do... or you'll finally come to the point that even you mentioned!!

You want to live life on your terms... "complete yourself"... DO THIS FOR YOU!!! Make the decision... Ok! ONE BEER if I am going to be there for 2 hours... then water! Tell your waiter or bartender... no matter what I order... I am having one beer and then its water... basically have them cut you off! I have done that a few times...

I know this advice is just pointless unless you are truly ready to make those changes... DON'T DEBATE IT!! STICK WITH YOUR CHANGES!!!

The only person that can do this is YOU!


I sincerely hope you make the right decision... cutting it out completely is never the answer... its life! It was meant to be lived... but you have to learn...

Discipline is the only way... and the only one that can do that is you!

---love what you said in your post about not worrying about finding someone... I have recently come to that decision myself... feel free to friend me if you'd like support or accountability! I'm always looking for "like-minded" friends!


GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

LINIA

In reading between the lines, you really have to face the fact of either giving up something or doing without something ---and not occasionally. At this point, you can't afford, even one evening to go out drinking and eating so much.
It doesn't sound like you have yet reached the stage where you can " budget in" the calories and continue to lose so nicely. One of the problems is nutrients...your body is craving nutrition from food. If you are enjoying the beer and you are out with friends, it is likely that you will overdo food and beer.

In a perfect world ( i know- i know ) i'd ask you to begin to run, jog, do very aggressive bike riding, etc ......take two months of a calorie deficit and really retrain your body thru discipline--- any of that cardio would help so much in the long term. You do exercise but not enough to take in a true splurge every week. The temptation is great that you'll consume 4,000 calories grazing with good friends.

Keep us updated and Good Luck!

SandraD1424

I have the SAME problem. I love beer. But I haven't had any in 9 days, I may sound like an alcoholic but 9 days is a long time for me. I say exercise so that you may have 1-2 but also make sure that you eat less calories today. And do not eat anything at the bar or afterwards. Enjoy yourself but do not overdue.

eat_run_play

wow some of you all are pretty harsh. my experience after being into fitness for several years is if you want to have something you enjoy, have it! just have it in moderation. it takes practice to learn that. restrictive dieting for a long time usually results in the binge mentality. when you deprive yourself forever, you go hog-wild when you finally have it. however, you can have one beer and it won't sabotage your diet. just dont' let it continue and maybe eat something healthy before you go. don't get the burger and fries unless you've planned accordingly. i enjoy a variety of treats on the weekends and stick to my plan on the weekdays. without giving myself these things now and then, for a while i turned into a person who was angry and irritated all the time due to having to deprive myself of what i wanted. i judged others for their food choices (mostly over jealousy because i convinced myself i "couldn't" eat those things). i never want to be there again and i feel like in some ways very restricted diets and calorie counting can do that. it's ok to enjoy the things you like as long as you can do so in moderation. one beer. not 3. maybe the meat of the burger and part of the bun (cut in half), no fries. you have to learn what will work for you. do what works and you will feel happy and not deprived. look at your diary and think about what you are willing to do. if you go over calories 1 day but then back on track the other 6, it's not the end of the world about that 1 day. took me a long time to learn this.

Smashley1947

I too struggle with the love of craft beers. The town I am living in now has an amazing brewery and every single bar has them.
Im also trying to reduce alcohol consumption

So when I go out. I order a sleeve or half pint, I stick to one max two. Most people are understanding if you say no for health reasons. After that, water water water, or a tea if I want something different. Stay away from pops and soda water. Too much sugar or bad unhealthy things.

Just before the holidays I told EVERYONE I was giving up beer. So everyone knew. So now I only have it when I deserve it (like after a day of skiing where I burn 1000 plus calories) or a special occasion. Then I still stick to my limits.

beer is quite good for you in moderation. loads of minerals and nutrients, up until a few years ago they were telling UK new mothers to drink Guiness (loads of iron)

As for food. Choose healthy options, Burgers are healthy, but try rice and vegetables, or soup or salad instead of fries.

zootiesgroove

Ok, for those following from home...I was good last night. I drank only water. I ate a grilled chicken breast and a side salad. My friends didn't give me a hard time about it either. The only problem was, I cut back on my calories in case I couldn't hold out, so I only ate 1000 calories for the day and as a result, my weight remained the same from the day before I was afraid that would happen. It's my body messing with me. I decide to be good and it's a big F U for not having the beer and burger I wanted so bad. Dammed if I do (indulge and gain weight); dammed if I don't (no weight loss for being good) #FML

megsmom2

Plan your day around having your beer. And then have ONE and enjoy it. There's no reason not to have things you like as long as it fits into your calorie plan.

zootiesgroove

I understand those that say plan it.. but only 4 days into a new diet is not the time to go have a drink, especially when alcohol is my trigger. In the past, Ive never just had "one" and almost always after having a few, it leads to additional bad choices with food (fast food, delivery, pizza, binge eating late at night).

Im a firm believer that if you want to change your habits, you have to hold strong for at least 15-30 days. put a good 2-3 weeks in and the "cheat" will be more of a reward. if you dive in too soon, the side affects would have too much of a negative impact on the otherwise successes that keep you going.

I know this is a lifestyle change and I need to think of it as something I can stick with long term, but for me, if I give in too soon, everything unravels and I wind up having more bad than good.. completely undoing all of the hard work from the rest of the week. I'm not at the point in my life where I can follow an 80/20 rule (if youre good 80% of the time, you can afford to be bad the other 20%). I need to only allow myself 1-2 "cheat meals" per month right now. Do I want a craft beer - you bet your *kitten* I do. But I also want a nice big greasy pepperoni pizza and a 5 guys bacon cheeseburger and fries and margaritas and the list goes on and on and on.... but this is how I got to be this out of shape, fat and unhealthy to begin with. So I need to avoid gluten and starchy carbs and alcohol and reset my body. then as I get more comfortable with situations, I can slowly introduce these things back in IN MODERATION. right now there is no moderation. - its a free for all.. so that is what I am stopping by not allowing myself to fall off the wagon so early in.

Awesomers

It tastes even better after a hard day's workout.

When I know I'm going out, I make sure I get a quality workout during the day. Then, I might eat half of the burger, half of the fries, and enjoy the beer!!!

eAddict

I do the sample sizes. Stay away from fries and other stuff. Sip and really enjoy the beers.

tigersword

Since no one else is saying it, I will. Losing a pound a day is unrealistic. The sooner you recognize a more realistic weight loss goal (about 1-2 pounds a week) the easier your life will be. Weight can fluctuate up to 10 pounds either way every day based on various factors, including water weight, glycogen storage, food in your digestive tract, etc.

A couple beers doesn't derail a long term plan. I haven't given up anything.

somefitsomefat

While I agree with all the "everything in moderation" people I think it's the "moderation" that is the issue with most people in the first place if they're overweight. Double that when it comes to drinking and going out with friends where you guard gets lowered even more. Is it easy to fit one 250 calorie beer in to your day? Yes. Is it easy to fit 5 in? Maybe less so. Now fit 5 in twice a week every week plus allow for those spontanious outings where you have a couple after work on Tuesday. I feel the same way when people say they have candy every day and you look at there diaries only to find out it was 3 squares from a Hersey bar. You have to take the "don't deprive yourself" thing with a grain of salt. In the end it's about picking what's important to you and doing what you think is best for your goals.

mrsfoster102613

If/when you feel comfortable going out for drinks, here are a few suggestions:

1. Eat before you go. Maybe even consider “sneaking” in some healthy snacks, too, just in case.
2. Drink a glass of water between every beer. You’ll fill up more quickly, and hydration is always good.
3. Order half pints or sample sizes (if available).
4. Decide how many beers you will drink ahead of time and log accordingly. Once at the bar, ask the bartender to ring them up and close you out in advance. You will have to start a new tab if you are going to drink more beers, so that may help you refrain from ordering more beers and/or pub food. I used to bartend at an Irish pub, and this is a great plan some of my health-conscious “regulars” implanted.
5. Bring only cash (enough to buy the beers you intend to drink). Leave your credit card at home. You won’t be able to “afford” to buy pub food or extra drinks.

Just a few suggestions. Hope it helps. Best of luck!

~Andrea

zootiesgroove

Since no one else is saying it, I will. Losing a pound a day is unrealistic. The sooner you recognize a more realistic weight loss goal (about 1-2 pounds a week) the easier your life will be. Weight can fluctuate up to 10 pounds either way every day based on various factors, including water weight, glycogen storage, food in your digestive tract, etc.

A couple beers doesn't derail a long term plan. I haven't given up anything.

This isnt my first go-round. Ive lost over 100lbs back in my 30s and gained it all back by letting the beer and eating out take over from eating healthy and exercising. Once youre in good shape (and based on your metabolism, etc), you can moderate this stuff back in. but for me.. I eat the same exact thing every day, with the exception of dinners and on weekends. I pack the same breakfast and lunch and drink the same amount of water.. so my weight doesnt fluctuate 10lbs.. thats just crazy. I might be a pound or maybe 2 in either direction.. but im not overly hydrated or dehydrated that would cause that kind of swing on the scale. I can also take a squirt and healthy dump and get that half to third of a pound off on the scale.

Long term, no it doesnt derail it physically.. but mentally... sure it does!

I wont lose a pound EVERY day, but if I'm doing things exactly the same every single day.. there is no reason that my weight should go up. in the very least, it will remain the same (with a half-pound swing in either direction). I expect to see the weight come off consistently - this shouldnt be unrealistic. Biggest Loser contestants lose double digits each and every week. if they can do it.....

mobilechris

'nothing tastes as good as fit feels' ahhh yes.. I remember that line when i use to listen to Tony Robbins regularly.

mobilechris

nothing tastes as good as fit feels' ahhh yes.. I remember that line when i use to listen to Tony Robbins regularly.

SCV34

I need some advice today. I am consistently losing on average 1lb/day this week. I am sticking mostly to diet (under 1600 cals), restricting my carbs and not really focusing on exercise heavily at this point. But my biggest struggle is with going out with friends and drinking. What's worse is I love a good craft beer. Each beer can be several hundred empty (but tasty) calories. Tonight we are going to a bar that serves dozens of incredible craft beers on tap. I'm struggling between saying eff it and having a couple of beers, that I know will lead into having a burger and fries, and will more than likely negate all progress I've made this week - or just sitting at the bar to enjoy the company, drink water, no food and stay on track. Drinking ****ty light beer is NOT an option. Then I'm faced with this dilemma again on Saturday, when some friends and I are going to tour a local brewery. I cant just stop drinking beer because I like it and it's what my friends and I do when we go out, but I also want to get in shape and not keep sabotaging my diet. HELP!

I would have the draft beer(limit myself to one), eat half a burger and share my fries with someone!

MrsK20141004

As far as I am concerned, DEPRIVATON = DEVESTATION! Trying to wipe out things you love will likely just tick you off and make you rebel. Reflect on all that you have done for yourself and the accomplishments you have made and simply make some simple alterations.

You said you aren't too heavy in the exercise at this point. Sounds like if you want to maintain the lifestyle you thoroughly enjoy, you will need to up that some.

As for the burger and fries, YOU ARE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR BRUTHA MAN!!! I'm all about a kickass burger and fries. If you know you are gonna hang with the crew later, compensate for the extra calories early in the day. Ask for your burger without the bun and ask for a knife and fork. Do you HAVE to have fries? Can you replace them with something else or maybe SHARE your fries with someone in your posse?

And then there is the beer. OH HELL YEAH!!! When I go out and drink, I alternate. I have them bring me a beer or whatever AND a diet soda or water, that way you have SOME beer, but not ONLY beer.

I hope this helps dude. YOU GOT THIS!!!

QFT.

tigersword

Since no one else is saying it, I will. Losing a pound a day is unrealistic. The sooner you recognize a more realistic weight loss goal (about 1-2 pounds a week) the easier your life will be. Weight can fluctuate up to 10 pounds either way every day based on various factors, including water weight, glycogen storage, food in your digestive tract, etc.

A couple beers doesn't derail a long term plan. I haven't given up anything.

This isnt my first go-round. Ive lost over 100lbs back in my 30s and gained it all back by letting the beer and eating out take over from eating healthy and exercising. Once youre in good shape (and based on your metabolism, etc), you can moderate this stuff back in. but for me.. I eat the same exact thing every day, with the exception of dinners and on weekends. I pack the same breakfast and lunch and drink the same amount of water.. so my weight doesnt fluctuate 10lbs.. thats just crazy. I might be a pound or maybe 2 in either direction.. but im not overly hydrated or dehydrated that would cause that kind of swing on the scale. I can also take a squirt and healthy dump and get that half to third of a pound off on the scale.

Long term, no it doesnt derail it physically.. but mentally... sure it does!

I wont lose a pound EVERY day, but if I'm doing things exactly the same every single day.. there is no reason that my weight should go up. in the very least, it will remain the same (with a half-pound swing in either direction). I expect to see the weight come off consistently - this shouldnt be unrealistic. Biggest Loser contestants lose double digits each and every week. if they can do it.....

No they don't. For one thing a "week" on Biggest Loser is more like a few weeks, sometimes a month. For another thing, they intentionally dehydrate themselves before weigh ins like a boxer or wrestler trying to make weight for a fight. The numbers they lose on that show are as fictional as the rest of the show.

zootiesgroove

No they don't. For one thing a "week" on Biggest Loser is more like a few weeks, sometimes a month. For another thing, they intentionally dehydrate themselves before weigh ins like a boxer or wrestler trying to make weight for a fight. The numbers they lose on that show are as fictional as the rest of the show.

How discouraging.

Gingerspice45

I have one day a week and sometimes two, usually the weekend, where I allow myself the option to eat over my calorie limit and then during the week I eat significantly less to compensate so I can have some beer or whatever on Friday or Saturday. I usually only have one beer tho if I'm out and then drink water. If I'm at home I don't drink more than two. I have made a conscious effort since I started back up losing weight to cut down on my alcohol. You have to have some fun or your gonna feel miserable. Eat the burger and fries and have a beer but just take it into account. If I eat 3000 calories one day, the next I might eat 1400 or less to balance it out.

zootiesgroove

I have one day a week and sometimes two, usually the weekend, where I allow myself the option to eat over my calorie limit and then during the week I eat significantly less to compensate so I can have some beer or whatever on Friday or Saturday. I usually only have one beer tho if I'm out and then drink water. If I'm at home I don't drink more than two. I have made a conscious effort since I started back up losing weight to cut down on my alcohol. You have to have some fun or your gonna feel miserable. Eat the burger and fries and have a beer but just take it into account. If I eat 3000 calories one day, the next I might eat 1400 or less to balance it out.

I was thinking about this on my drive home from work today. I could easily justify allowing myself to have a beer or eat a burger - try to pretend like I can control myself and show restraint. But the truth is I CANT. I'm not there yet. I'm 5 days sober and eating clean. If I give in right now, the entire weekend (3 days) would be at risk of completely unraveling. If I get a taste of one of my trigger foods or adult beverages, all the progress I've made so far, could go up in smoke - it's happened every other time prior to this. I've been unsuccessfully half-*kitten* trying to lose significant weight for at least 2 years so I don't want to give my old habits an inch because if I lose focus for one minute, they will take a mile.

I whole-heartily agree, there has to be a life to live, but I've done a hell of a lot of "living life" to get where I am, and if I want to have more life to live in the future, I have to make this time stick and to do that, I need to prove to myself that I can endure the process and pass the tests. Then I can moderate those triggers on my own terms. Right now I'm reprogramming and so far the support of the boards and being accountable to a group of people has been very valuable.

DeadliftAddict

Don't look at food as cheating. Look at it as food and fuel. Enjoy your time.

_AwesomeSauce_

Just say "no", you'll feel better about your decision on your way home (or the next time you workout) and your liver will thank you.