Commenting on a persons weight loss.

albayin

You know the more I think about it, these people never have said a nice thing about anyone except maybe their husband or parents.

If that is true...why would you expect them to change just for you?

I guess it just comes down to me not understanding how anyone could live their life so miserably and being such a you know what.

Sounds like your comments are targeting very specifically at someone you know, whom we don't...

sassyjae21

You have to be careful with this.

My mother suffers with bulimia. She is simply encouraged by people that tell her she looks good. Shes spent her life in and out of hospital and although she is pretty much recovered she now goes to the gym every day for 3 hours straight instead. She also drinks heavily to stop herself from eating to much.

this started when she was younger when people would tell her she looked great for losing weight. so yeah if someone is obese and gets down to a decent weight or if they look healthy still go for it tell them they look good but keep an eye on your friends to make sure they arnt losing too much.

That's horrible. I'm sorry to hear that. That is a different situation.

It is not a stranger's (or evil coworkers he's known his whole life who are his friends, but not his friends and are clearly jealous of his success') responsibility to babysit someone else's ego.

Annie_01

You know the more I think about it, these people never have said a nice thing about anyone except maybe their husband or parents.

If that is true...why would you expect them to change just for you?

I guess it just comes down to me not understanding how anyone could live their life so miserably and being such a you know what.

At what age did you start gaining weight and when did it start to interfere with your social interaction?

I might be wrong...I often am...but it sounds like that when you started gaining weight you also have gained something else...anger. Anger at being rejected...cruel remarks made to you...loss of your self-esteem.

I imagine that after losing the weight you thought that would all go away...that people would accept you...instead of cruel things being said that it would lead to all the "nice" things said that you desperately needed to hear.

I understand that.

Life is not always the way that we envision it. Life isn't always "nice". That is just the way it is.

So you take what life has to offer...you enjoy it...you laugh...you love...and you move forward.

After having lost the weight...now you need to start working on losing the anger.

I had 100lbs to lose. I am almost half way there. Along with the last 50lbs I too have more than just weight to lose...I have all those reasons to lose that got me here. If not...I will be stuck WHERE IT ALL BEGAN.

I wish you luck...I wish you to enjoy the success that you have had...I hope that holding on to that anger doesn't drag you back to where it all began.

leomom72

At Michele.........

You know what is ironic about this whole situation?

The people that do not give comments are the ones that used your weight against you when they could. The ones that do give compliments are the ones that never did.

well, thats probably why..sounds like you answered your own question..who cares if 1 out of 10 dont comment..its 1 person...but lets continue on that and forget the 9 that DID comment:noway:

turtleball

Cause its annoying to think about why people would be jealous enough to not comment on someones weight? How old are we here? 10? I'm not better than anyone but this is how I feel.......... Say a person walks in a room and 9 people say "Wow you look great! You lost a lot of weight."

Then you have that one person who won't even say hi to you. As an adult that behavior comes off as "How dare everyone give him attention and not me!"

Very childish and immature.

I would not congratulate you either. Its not because I hate you, or that i'm jealous it is because I am a loner and is socially awkward
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RobinB0812

You know the more I think about it, these people never have said a nice thing about anyone except maybe their husband or parents.

If that is true...why would you expect them to change just for you?

I guess it just comes down to me not understanding how anyone could live their life so miserably and being such a you know what.

WHO FREAKIN CARES???? Good grief man. Get a grip. Just about every single person in this thread has told you the same thing and you refuse to listen. It's their life to live as they choose. There is not one darn thing you can say to them to make them change so quit worrying about everyone else and whether or not they blow sunshine and rainbows and unicorn snot up your poop chute. Either (A) they didn't notice (B) they didn't care or (C) they don't like you. I know which one of those options I'm voting for.

Or (D) the first NINE people complimented you, at this point it's like beating a dead horse! If I was the 10th, the best you'd get out of me at that point is, "Yeah, ditto." Or, "Yeah, what she said." IF anything at all!

Seriously, you walk into a room of ten people and NINE compliment you, didn't it get just embarassing after like the THIRD compliment???

Maybe they didn't comment because there is nothing worse (IMO) than indulging someone who if PHISHING for a compliment! Can we say EGO???? Get over yourself!!

EricRazorbacks

In a work environment, which it sounds like this was, I'm not about to volunteer comments about anyone's weight or looks. If someone specifically brought up their weight loss to me and I could tell it was a positive, I'd probably say something like, "That's great!" But, that specific situation has never happened to me.

My lack of commenting isn't because I am trying to be mean, but because I see just too many pitfalls.

bcattoes

In a work environment, which it sounds like this was, I'm not about to volunteer comments about anyone's weight or looks. If someone specifically brought up their weight loss to me and I could tell it was a positive, I'd probably say something like, "That's great!" But, that specific situation has never happened to me.

My lack of commenting isn't because I am trying to be mean, but because I see just too many pitfalls.

In our required "gender bias" training we were told that it is never appropriate to comment on how a person of the opposite sex looks in the workplace. Not about weight loss, new hair cut, nice sweater, nothing. Apparently it's okay to hit on people of your same sex though.

bridgieNZ

I haven't read all the posts so this may have been covered but

Personally I hate when people comment on my weight loss, it's awkward, I know I was and still am fat. I know they are trying to be encouraging but argh all I hear is 'you were so fat!' Lol ( that's so not what they were saying but you know) I usually just mumble something about it being a process...

It can be nice to hear your looking good today, I love that dress etc I get that from my coworkers and that's nice but in truth it's only my close friends and on here I feel comfortable about it all.

I think it is unlikely so many people are jealous of another persons success sure a few may wish they we're achieving it but my experience people are truly happy for you.

Perhaps they are not sure what to say, everyone's so different it's hard to know what will offend someone else and some people are easily offended.

Don't assume when someone doesn't say anything they are thinking the worst.

I tend to be quiet and it takes me a while to feel comfortable with someone the number of people who have said to me when I first met you I thought you were cold or a b****

Anyway If the people who are apart if your daily life, the ones you love and care about support you no body else matters

albayin

In a work environment, which it sounds like this was, I'm not about to volunteer comments about anyone's weight or looks. If someone specifically brought up their weight loss to me and I could tell it was a positive, I'd probably say something like, "That's great!" But, that specific situation has never happened to me.

My lack of commenting isn't because I am trying to be mean, but because I see just too many pitfalls.

In our required "gender bias" training we were told that it is never appropriate to comment on how a person of the opposite sex looks in the workplace. Not about weight loss, new hair cut, nice sweater, nothing. Apparently it's okay to hit on people of your same sex though.

I always pay compliment to my female co-workers if I like what they wear or how they have their hair done...guess this is OK? not hitting on right? I am a girl.

albayin

I haven't read all the posts so this may have been covered but

Personally I hate when people comment on my weight loss, it's awkward, I know I was and still am fat. I know they are trying to be encouraging but argh all I hear is 'you were so fat!' Lol ( that's so not what they were saying but you know) I usually just mumble something about it being a process...

I never know how I truly look but in my head and in the mirror I always see myself as a chubby pear shaped person. So when my friends say something like "ah, you upper body looks good", or "you are fine"...all I hear is "you bottom looks huge" and "you are not thin at all". But that's just me, having issues with self esteem and unhealthy body image.

ZombieEarhart

People have a million legit reasons to not comment on another person's body. A lot of people think it's rude to, or they always saw you in a positive light and see no reason to, or they want to ask around and make sure you're not ill, etc.

I work in an environment where it is considered totally inappropriate to comment on somebody's weight. Even when I mention running, or comment on grabbing a "healthy lunch" the conversation will continue to focus on exercise or food, never my body. I mentioned once to someone that I had lost a lot of weight and he said "Yes, you look wonderful, though of course I wasn't going to say anything."

So, don't jump to conclusions. They notice. They think you look nice.

AglaeaC

Oh dear.

"I was raised..." always implies that the way the poster was raised is the right way and every other way is the wrong way. I was raised right, too, but not your right, rather my right.

Fishing for compliments from people, who gave you crap about your weight in the past is unbalanced. If you can't see this, then I encourage you to ask yourself why you want to keep them amongst your acquaintances, why you seek their approval, why their opinion matters more than that of those who compliment you, and finally why you choose to scold others in public when they don't behave like you think they should. You'll find peace of mind only when you let go of so many expectations and turn inwards to seek only your own approval.

JilloftheDead

I personally feel all awkward when my weight loss gets noticed.. I prefer those people who just keep their mouths shut haha

mangojh2

I've changed jobs recently and gone from a place where all of my customers and all of my team members made comments about my appearance almost daily to a work environment where I don't think anyone pays any attention to me at all. I don't hear anyone say anything positive or negative. Its kind of weird. Perhaps its just the environment they are use to.

namelesshere

I won't say anything unless they have confided in me that they are trying. To me a person's weight is personal, and as another poster said, the weight loss could be medical.

VelveteenArabian

Say someone is losing weight, a lot of weight. Every single day multiple people tell them how much weight they have lost. They say "Wow you look good! Whatever you are doing keep it up."

Then they run into a couple people that haven't seen them since they lost all the weight. They can see them looking up and down and noticing something different, but they never take the time to congratulate the change. Even though multiple other people have done it.

Im just wondering why its so hard for certain people to take the time to congratulate someone on changes that they have made for the better. Does it just come down to the fact that some people just won't ever say nice things to certain people, no matter how many times other people do? To me the attitude these people give off is " No matter how many people notice your weight loss, and no matter how good they say you look, Im not gonna give you the satisfaction of hearing it from me."

Maybe they couldn't pinpoint the change.

Why does it matter though? You shouldn't be losing weight just to hear congratulations.

stephenryan758

Thanks for the replies. Goodnight.

leomom72

well, thats probably why..sounds like you answered your own question..who cares if 1 out of 10 dont comment..its 1 person...but lets continue on that and forget the 9 that DID comment:noway:
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